After a long day at work, I had no patience for it. Later when I got home I wrote an e-mail to her to apologize for my lack of patience. It’s so sad, but my niece is suffering and is nothing I can do for her. I think she was calling me, because she would like to come to the States, but she does not understand, that I would not ever let anyone live with me that idealizes their abusive parents and lives in denial of what happened to them as a small child, because that is putting myself on the line of fire of someone’s repression. No one will come to my house again and make me their scapegoat or poisonous container, family or not family.
I never said you should not have been born, but the truth is: most of us are here because our parents were unconscious and in spite my parents not being conscious and had me without thinking what kind of life they were giving me. I am living with my reality that my family is not capable of real love and have let go of the illusion of the family and their illusion of love and after facing and feeling my sad reality, today I no longer feel pain, I feel free and I am enjoying my life and I will not let any members of my family come into my life and take away the joy I feel today.
Maybe, one day you will gather the courage and strength to stop idealizing your father and see him as he really was, UNCONSCIOUS, and live with your own reality, because the truth is we are all alone and each of us has to find our own way to ourselves and save ourselves, because no one else can. I can’t walk your path with you, just like no one could have walked my path with me.
You are not being "sickeningly sarcastic," you only dared to speak out the truth that most people are afraid of seeing or talking about.’
Honestly, your lack of logic, reasoning, and grounds are a huge handicap, if you aim to be taken seriously. Maybe you should start to read the classics, and only after, try to understand others. Your ideas are like a house with no foundations. You built ideas that can’t be sustained.
Start by reading and understanding Plato, Socrates, Kant, Nietzsche and Stuart Mill… Try to read Dostoevsky, Zola, Balzac, Shakespeare, Goethe…. Maybe, in the end, your mind can be opened, because you just see what you want (“No worst blind than the one who does not want to see”), you don’t have abstract reasoning yet. If you aim to be in disagreement, you have at first, to study and understand the basics. Disagreement is not synonymous of the absence of capability to understand.
Any definitions that you may have to exist thankfully to those men that settle ideas as freedom, metaphysic being and love as you understand them today. You just are not able to understand Man, individuals without knowing were they come from and this, means knowing history, philosophy, and art.
I am not directing anything; I am just amazed at your lack of respect towards others. If you want to be better than others, you need to learn to be humble and open to the idea that you may not know everything.
“I only know that I know nothing”. You just don´t let yourself to be in this position. But without it you will not able never to expand your intellect. Tolerance among others ideas and perspectives is actually a great accomplished that only great people can achieve. Little people tend to shape the world as it is more comfortable for them.
You can always walk away, and waste the opportunity of improving yourself. The courage it is all about being aware of our own ignorance; to by a form of nihilism do a sprit’s renewal.
One of the best law professors said at some point “we don’t accept advice from the ones that didn’t do better”. And that’s the point, you didn’t, you just judge and even didn’t yet learned to listen before speaking.
Even the small task you failed. You can’t listen.
Learn to listen first… You speak too much with little wisdom, which only shows your insecurities and lack of reasoning.
If you were honest with yourself, you would assume your incapacity to be anyone’s godmother. Unfortunately, you are mine, and the only thing you have was the idea that I shouldn’t be born. Well done!
I am not calling you or writing to you to try to force you to see what I see. You are angry and your anger is justified because you were hurt, but I was not the person that hurt you and directing your justified anger at scapegoats it does not get resolved and keeps you trapped, your anger will only start to diminish and gets resolved when it’s felt in the right context. You keep saying that I told you: you should not have been born, but you are twisting my words, but like I said before, most of us are here, because our parents were unconscious and now it’s in our hands to choose to wake up, stop idealizing our parents and childhood, face and feel our sad reality or continue the insanity of our parents.
You are using your intellect to run from looking at the facts and see these fundamental psychological mechanisms. It takes courage to see these psychological mechanisms, intelligence alone is not enough; it rather helps create seductive illusions and lies. You are in the last year of law school and now because you think you have “higher education” you got the illusion that the States are hiring people with higher education, but the United States have a lot of unemployed lawyers and the States does not need more emotionally blind lawyers, we got enough of those here already, now, because I am not willing to do what you want me to do, it trigger your anger, but like I said I am not the cause of your anger, I am only the trigger, because I am not willing to let you use me the way you want to use me. In all these years of school, you come out with a lot of abstract knowledge and what I call empty knowledge that only serves to impress others and deceive yourself and other emotionally blind people. Education alone does not save people, it did not save your mother and is not going to save you either, education alone is nothing, but an illusion.
The Untouched Key
Tracing Childhood Trauma in Creativity and Destructiveness
As in her former books, Alice Miller again focusses on facts. She is as determined as ever to cut through the veil that, for thousands of years now, has been so meticulously woven to shroud the truth. And when she lifts that veil and brushes it aside, the results are astonishing, as is amply demonstrated by her analyses of the works of Nietzsche, Picasso, Kollwitz, Keaton, and others. With the key shunned by so many for so long - childhood - she opens rusty looks and offers her readers a wealth of unexpected perspectives. What did Picasso express in "Guernica"? Why did Buster Keaton never smile? Why did Nietzsche heap so much opprobrium on women and religion, and lose his mind for eleven years? Why did Hitler and Stalin become tyrannical mass murderers? Alice Miller investigates these and other questions thoroughly in this book. She draws from her discoveries the conclusion that human beings are not "innately" destructive, that they are made that way by ignorance, abuse, and neglect, particularly if no sympathetic witness comes to their aid. She also shows why some mistreated children do not become criminals but instead bear witness as artists to the truth about their childhoods, even though in purely intuitive and unconscious ways.
It is Dr. Miller's goal to encourage these sympathetic witnesses, to lend them support, and to inform them about the worldwide and ignored plight of children, for she thinks that only by confronting the truth that has been avoided from time immemorial can human beings be saved from blind destruction and self-destruction. This discovery is eloquently illustrated in the last section of "The Untouched Key", wherein the story of Abraham and Isaac and the story of "The Emperor's New Clothes" are retold to reveal their profound meaning.
Also, read the letter to D in the link below