Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Out of the Prison of Confusion


“Even Adolf Hitler never denied that he had been beaten. What he denied was that these beatings were painful. And by totally falsifying his feelings, he would become a mass murderer. That would never have occurred had he been capable of feeling, and weeping about, his situation and had he not repressed his justifiable hatred of those responsible for his distress but consciously experienced and comprehended it. Instead he perverted this hatred into ideology. The same hold for Stalin, Ceausescu, and all the other beaten and humiliated children who later turn into tyrants and criminals.

The return of the truth only begins to announce itself in the moment that we turn the tables and the word “spanked” condemns itself as heartless testimony to the disrespect and humiliation inflicted on the child. Only once we have become capable of empathizing with the feelings of the abused child we once were, and rejection the mockery and cynicism of our adult selves, do we begin to open the gates to the truth. Only then can we also stop being a danger to others.”  From the book “Breaking Down the Wall of Silence” Alice Miller page15, 16

 

 

 

 

Thursday, October 25, 2012

About Forgiveness


The words below by Alice Miller about forgiveness are very true, but I would take it even a step farther, from my experience admitting the truth is a must, but we must also feel the whole range of our repressed emotions within the context of our own childhood, otherwise the compulsion to repeat or reenact our childhood drama will continue endless one way or another.

“…preaching forgiveness is not only hypocritical and futile but also actively dangerous. It masks the compulsion to repeat.

The only thing that can protect us from repetition is the admission of the truth, with all its implications. Once we know as accurately as possible what our parents did to us, we are no longer in danger of repeating their misdeeds. Otherwise we will do so automatically, and with all the tenacity at our disposal we will resist the idea that we can---and indeed must---break off our infant attachment to parents who abused us if we want to become adults and live of our own in peace. We must give up the confusion we lived in as infants, the confusion stemming from early attempts to understand abuse and give it a meaning. As adults we can do that; we can learn to understand how morality in therapy gets in the way of the healing of the wounds we carry around inside us.” From the book “The Body Never Lies: The lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting” by Alice Miller page 152

Friday, October 12, 2012

Discussing Politics

Mr. X: I am not anti-woman. I love women and want them to be able to live in a free society that's prosperous and provides opportunities for all. I want women and men to live in a dynamic society where the goal is to create wealth and innovation, not to be dependent on the government unless it's absolutely necessary.

Sylvie: Thank you for writing expressing your thoughts, because I did not expect it, and I congratulate you for your courage. I don’t agree with anything you wrote, they are psychopaths in both parties and both contribute for people to stay dependent with their ignorance equally and I must vote for those that create policy that allow people to make their own decisions. Life already born that has the right to life and be protected. Giving life to a being that is going to suffer for the rest of her life is cruel. What you said above it will never happen unless women have complete control over their bodies and able to make conscious decisions based on truth and facts, so if it is true that you love women and want all to have opportunities and live in dynamic society where the goal is to create wealth and innovation without being in an exploitative relationships with others and the planet, but everyone wins, a win win situation, you cannot vote for Mitt a cult member that belongs to the mormon cult and in all cults all relationships are exploitative, so Mitt is going to be exploitative or let others exploit him either way it’s a lose situation for all.

I don’t have a problem with you voting republican if the people running in the republican ticket were somewhere in the middle, but are so extreme to the right and Mitt not only being a member of a political cult he is also a member of a crazy religion cult, double dose! He is a total programmed robot by two cults and he even walks like a robot!


Mr. X: Government dependence traps people in poverty and prevents them from reaching their full potential, in my opinion.

Sylvie: Agree, but both parties equally contribute for people to be dependent on the government and the democratic at least give women the right to decide for themselves if they should or not to carry a pregnancy to term and give a birth to a new being, so they are giving an opportunity for people to become independent, when women carry pregnancies to term and give birth to a new beings without freeing themselves first, most likely they will remain dependent on the government, husbands, family or other people and the children they bring into the world most likely will remain dependent also, so if you really want this to happen you cannot absolutely vote for Mitt with a clear conscious.

Mr. X: No one is talking about making abortion illegal.”

Sylvie: Maybe Mitt does not really want to make abortion illegal, but many people supporting him do and will try to exploit Mitt to push their agenda of working towards making abortion illegal.

Mr. X: I can appreciate the fact that it's a difficult issue for some people.

Sylvie: No, it is not a difficult issue, people make it a difficult issue because they want to dictate in another person’s life, they want to make others slaves, most people objective is not freedom for themselves and others, but to one day own their own slaves, if a person has a difficulty with abortion don’t have one, but don’t force your will and beliefs into others. People need to understand decisions relating to my own body is not up for debate and I am willing to die or go to jail before I let someone else decide the most important decision in a woman’s life, if I should or not carry a pregnancy to term and give birth to a new being. I am fully aware of the responsibly of bringing new beings into this world and how can let someone else make that decision for me, especially politicians!

Mr.: X: It is the law of the land and will likely remain so because it should be a state issue and there are plenty of states that would never make it illegal.

Sylvie: Will likely! So it is a possibility that can become illegal! Yes, abortion still legal in every state, but new laws restricting it are being passed every day. In Arizona if I was a teenager today and in need of an abortion I would need my parents’ consent, which means with my crazy ignorant family I would have to go underground in order to be in control of my own body. Abortion should be available for any woman at any age that needs or wants one anytime and everywhere. Have you thought of the women that are too poor to travel to a State where abortion is legal and by having a child when she is not really ready can prevent her from ever finding independence and then will not just be one person dependent but two! So if you truly love women you would not take actions that would hinder her opportunity to free herself.

Mr. X: I've said repeatedly that I respect a person's right to choose. I do not, as you say, "try to stop others.

Sylvie: I no longer go by what people say, but by their actions and with your vote (action) you are stopping others. It makes me very sad that you are emotionally blind to see that when comes to the economy it does not matter who is in power, the democrats spent money in creating programs that don’t work and the republicans spend the same if not more in other illusions like instigating unnecessary wars, so it does not matter, they all spend money on illusions but what it’s important it’s to have people in power that at least will not create laws to rule in personal decisions of one’s life. I feel you just think of the money Mitt can keep in your pocket. A few dollars he might save you, it will cost you a lot more in the long run. When Bush run for president and people would say how good he was going to be for the economy; I would tell people he might save you some money in the short term, but in the long run he going to cost you a lot more money and I was right he was a disaster for the economy.

Mr. X: and I think it's callous to ignore the fact that there is a defenseless life involved. I would never take away a women's right to choose, but having a baby or giving it to parents who will care for it like their own should be considered, that's all.

Sylvie: So you think carrying a pregnancy to term and giving birth to a new being and then give it away for adoption is a good solution. When I know without a doubt that most people desire to have children comes from their unconscious need to have an available object to use as their poisonous container or scapegoat, no way in hell would I carry a pregnancy to term and give birth to a new being and then give it away for someone to use it as their poisonous container and have this new being spend her entire life in a labyrinth looking for a way out, that’s not living and the birthmother will be wounded for the rest of her life also for carrying a pregnancy to term and giving birth to a new being and then give it away like it’s kitten or a puppy, babies are not kittens or puppies. Any conscious feeling human being knows the consequence of these traumas in people’s lives and for society at large and would never support adoption unless is already a child here that is in need to be adopted, adopting should be to fulfill the needs of a child, not to fulfill the desire of adults of wanting children to unconsciously use as their poisonous container, not ever a conscious woman ever carries a pregnancy to term and give birth to a new being to give it up for adoption.”Poisonous Pedagogy. The pedagogical conviction that one must bring a child into line from the outset has its origin in the need to split off the disquieting parts of the inner self and project them onto an available object. The child’s great plasticity flexibility, defenselessness, and availability made it the ideal object for this projection. The enemy within can at last be hunted down on the outside. Peace advocates are becoming increasingly aware of the role played by these mechanisms, but until it is clearly recognized that they can be traced back to methods of child raising, little can be done to oppose them. For children who have grown up being assailed for qualities the parents hate in themselves can hardly wait to assign these qualities to someone else so they can once again regard themselves as good, “moral,” noble, and altruistic. Such projections can easily become part of any Weltanschauung.” Alice Miller

A life worth giving birth to is a life that is going to be free to really live. This is not callous it’s being truly loving and conscious. Pro-life people are not pro-life they are pro-birth, but after birth they don’t give a fuck about the person anymore and unconsciously enjoy seeing people live in an emotional prison, they live in an emotional prison and unconsciously they want others to have the same fate as them, it’s like they want as more people as possible to be born, so they can kill their souls and have the most people as possible to grow up without souls becoming great robots to continue their evil work on earth, this is the root to all the evil we see in the world and how psychopaths/sociopaths are created. Pro-lifers want people to be born, so they can kill their souls, is like they want an endless supply of new beings to exploit and use as their poisonous container or scapegoats, they are soul murders disguised as pro-lifers. Nothing in this world ever is what it seems.

…unwanted children are usually mistreated. But there exist as a rule also a huge amount of people who were "wanted" indeed, but only for playing the role of the victims that their parents needed to be able to take revenge on. They were wanted to give their parents what the parents never had gotten from their own parents: love, adoration, attention and so many other things. Otherwise, why would so many people have five or more children when they have no time for them? Why do they adopt children if their body refuses to give them what they apparently "want? The never acknowledged, never felt pain of their childhood calls for being avenged. They go to church, they pray, they honor their parents, forgive them everything – and they mistreat their children at home, often in a very cruel way, AS IF THIS WERE THE MOST NATURAL THING, because they learned this so early. Their children learn this perverted behavior, also very early, and will later do the same; and so this perverse behavior continues for millennia. Unless people are willing to SEE the perversion of their parents and are ready to consciously refuse to imitate it.
You are not being "sickeningly sarcastic," you only dared to speak out the truth that most people are afraid of seeing or talking about.” Alice Miller


“The trauma of knowing one was given away at birth and the travails of trying to find out why”

‘It’s hard to put in words what being adopted does to a person,’ she writes in an email to Open, ‘You’re getting out of your natural system and culture. Then, they put you between people who don’t look like you at all. Everywhere you see White people. At school, I was always the only dark girl. Not to forget that in Holland, most people are tall so I was always the shortest. You see your friends looking like their parents and brothers or sisters. I could not refer to anything. It makes you feel very lonely and sometimes you think you are crazy because you feel so different.’

As a child, India was entirely unfamiliar to her. Later, India was just a unit of information, a place of her birth, and it wasn’t until she was past her teens that she developed a strong urge to contact her biological mother. “When I used to see daughters shopping with their mothers, I would imagine doing the same,” she says on Skype, “The image of my mother was blurry in my mind.” She would think of her mother on her birthdays. “That’s my day. I would wonder if my mother misses me [on my birthday].” Some of Carina’s thoughts were far from pleasant. ‘I have had a lot of psychiatric expenses because of all the problems I suffer of being abandoned (identity crisis, lack of confidence, bonding problems etc),’ she writes.


“Adoption’s inherent abuse of children and families
Adoption itself inflicts psychological harm on adoptees. Adoption means the near-impossibility of either adoptee or adoptive parent being able to take their relationship for granted. Because the parent-child relationship is established by law and not by nature, the relationship cannot be regarded as a simple fact of life as it is in natural families, by either adoptees or adoptive parents.

We often read of adoptive parents being the “psychological parents” of adoptees. Yet what does being a “psychological parent” mean? It means that the relationship is not natural, not clear cut. It means that in adoptive families, the parent-child relationship may be something that must be continually proved because it cannot be assumed. One way adoptive parents may seek to “prove” that they are “the” parents and are necessary to adoptees is to make themselves essential, which may mean being more controlling than the typical parent. One way adoptees may “prove” they are their adoptive parents’ children is by being more childlike, more immature, more dependent than typical sons and daughters, even when they are chronologically adults. . . .

Some adoptees may be less harmed by the disruption of the natural bond with their birthmothers than others. Some adoptive parents are better at empathizing than are others. Some are able to love and accept the children they adopt for who they really are, while others will never stop trying to mold adoptees into the natural children they could not have. But still adoption itself, I think, harms children. . . . Inside every adoptee lurks an abandoned child, and that child hurts. . . .

Yes, I know that some non-adopted children are damaged by abuse, poverty or other ills. I know many single parents have one or more risk factors in their families. Yet most, maybe all, of the problems that face vulnerable natural parents can be eliminated by societal and familial support, while the problems that occur in adoption, particularly when the parents are infertile and the adoption is closed, are inherent in adoption and cannot be prevented or eliminated.”


As someone said in a Facebook page “Adoption Trauma” post:  As an adoptee raised in an extremely loving home, with a reunion that was a disaster, I can honestly say that the lies have to stop. As a civil society we need to stop this nonsense of human trafficking disguised as adoption. If a mother cannot, absolutely cannot parent "her" child then legal guardianship should be appointed. Again I say, I had a lovely home but this adoption masquerade has to end! Grown adults should be mature enough to stop playing house and just raise the other women’s child but never ever insist on making the child play act in the drama of their life pretending to be their child. They are not their child but someone else's they are caretaking for! This is cruel and inhumane to be any different.” http://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/adoption.trauma.7/posts/329901923758616?notif_t=feed_comment_reply

I feel the same way as Lynn Beisner: "But for many women, like my mother, abortion would be an inconvenient act of courage and selflessness. I am sad for both of us that she could not find the courage and selflessness. But my attitude is that as long as I am already here, I might as well do all I can to make the world a better place, to ease the suffering of others, and to experience love and life to its fullest."


Mr. X: The scare tactics that the Left uses against women and minorities are utterly disgraceful...Talk about sociopaths!

Sylvie: I think the scare tactics of the far right are a lot more utterly disgraceful, they go to the extreme of killing doctors a breathing living human being under the disguise of want to protect unborn life, like unborn life has more rights than lived life. Talk about hypocrisy and being a psychopath/sociopath.

Mr. X: Anyway, in my personal experience, conservatives have been the most generous, kind, compassionate and understanding people I've ever met. Liberals, in my experience, have generally been the most selfish, pretentious, and all-talk-no-walk kind of people.

Sylvie: If you were free of repression and did not have the repressed emotions of the child you once were blinding you would be able to see most people that be conservative or liberal are just pretending acting as if personality of being loving and caring, giving an illusion of love, they just wear different masks that’s all. Most of my life I had this feeling that people in our society work hard behind the scenes to create traps and very sneakily when you are distracted and without you noticing it, they push you into their traps, and when everyone is looking then they come and rescue you looking like they are the most kind, compassion making themselves appear as heroes, but they are the ones trapping you in the first place and if you don’t wake up to see this scheme for what it is, you will fall victim of it endless.

Mr. X: I don't think we should discuss politics.

Sylvie: We don’t have to discuss politics, but we have to discuss abortion. Politics would not be an issue, it the politicians stayed out of my body.

I know you might be feeling very split right now and this is normal. I know it can be painful and some relationships might end, but if they end is because they were not based on real feelings, but on fear, guilt and anger unconsciously and compulsively projected at outward enemies like for example the tea party joining together unconsciously and compulsively transfer their repressed hate into the democrats and vise verse. You see how the political parties make each other’s scapegoat or poisonous container and endless remain stuck, because repression cannot ever be resolved through scapegoating. And you will come to see that your vote is driven by the dead hand of your own repression, because you are unconsciously taking revenge on vulnerable women that might need help in getting an abortion in order to keep the image of your loving mother intact, but if your mother was able to really love you, you would never been attracted to a political party in the first place to unconsciously trying to fulfill a need of the child you once were, but nothing in the external world can now make up for what you needed as a child, only consciously mourning the loss of love you needed as a child, but never got.

The truth brings freedom. In Alice Miller’s book, “The Truth Will Set You Free; Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self” says, “The past always catches up with us, in our relationships with other people and especially with our children.” We must face the pain in our lives. The only way out is through it. Nothing in the external world, not a religion, not a political group or any other group, not a job, not a relationship, and not any amount of money can save us from the pain of our past. Until we walk through our pain, we will keep repeating our past in the present moment; and there is no escape.

"Pain is the way to the truth. By denying that you were unloved as a child, you spare yourself some pain, but you are not with your own truth. And throughout your whole life you'll try to earn love. In therapy, avoiding pain causes blockage. Yet nobody can confront being neglected or hated without feeling guilty. "It is my fault that my mother is cruel," he thinks. "I made my mother furious; what can I do to make her loving?" So he will continue trying to make her love him. The guilt is really protection against the terrible realization that you are fated to have a mother who cannot love. This is much more painful than to think, "Oh, she is a good mother, it's only me who's bad." Because then you can try to do something to get love. But it's not true; you cannot earn love. And feeling guilty for what has been done to you only supports your blindness and your neurosis."

I know it hard to feel this pain, but it can be endure, and if I was able to endure it all alone with just Alice Miller’s books. I know you can too.

People have been trying to control and manipulate others with the reins of the feelings of guilt that were install by our parents that now substitutes figures only have to do is take hold of those reins. I know I can help you remove the reins install by your parents and be free, if you let me, so will not any longer be reins for people to take hold of to control or manipulate you anymore and of course people that need to be in control of others might leave you and go look for someone else with reins on to take control of and you will have to feel the pain of the loss of these people, but you will be free and make room for real people to enter your life and anyway it’s better to be alone and to know that we are alone than to be with someone and nevertheless to be alone.

Whishing courage and strength to face and feel your painful truths.











Friday, October 5, 2012

Last weekend someone got mad at me for voting!

Last weekend someone got mad at me for voting!


I posted the link above on my Facebook page and this guy a “libertarian” made comments trying to persuade me not to vote and when he saw that he could not persuade me not to vote, got mad and deleted all his comments and of course my comments without his comments made no sense and I deleted all my comments also and then he took the discussion to private, trying to bully me in to not to vote and when he efforts did not work, got even more mad and blocked me in anger! Someone please tell me who is the crazy one here? I know the answer, but would be nice to hear it from someone else! :-) I have his comments from the private mail box, but first here are some of my comments to his comments from the public post above, so people can see how some libertarians out there can be so crazy! They preach freedom, but they are so far away from it, because he wanted to take my freedom away of voting!

Yes it sad… but I can’t change that and some republicans are even worse in starting and instigating wars and no matter what, always going to be a government, like it or not, and no matter who is in charge will be doing things driven by the death hand of their own repression, but if women are free to choose to reproduce or not then if she is in a place where she is not safe to reproduce she can choose not to bring a new being into her crazy world and will give her a chance at finding freedom and liberate herself.

the libertarian are just another group of repressed people that will do other crazy things driven by the dead hand over their own repression and the name they call themselves “libertarians” is just to allure people in, it’s just another political cult that call themselves “libertarians”, but are no different.

You think the libertarians are better! You are emotionally blind, because as long as people are repressed they will unconsciously and compulsively pass into others what is repressed in them in one way or another, so don’t fool yourself.

I don't have control over other people's repression and the sad part is that I have to work and try to communicate with repressed people the best way I can and we never know what might soften a little bit their repression. You do what you think is best and I will do what I think it might help soften people’s repression.

Do you think by not taking action you are not contributing to violence? People that refuse to participate are being passive aggressive and in your last comment your repressed anger is coming out very clear directed at me, but I am not the cause of your anger and you are making me your scapegoat. Anger cannot ever be resolved by scapegoating, it only can be resolved when seen and consciously felt in the context of your own childhood. I hate to inform you but will always going to be a government like it or not and we have a responsibility to vote for the one that we think is not going to cause as much damage and I do think Mitt is more repressed and a bigger sociopath than Obama.

Maybe one of us don't get it, but have you thought that maybe it's you that don't get it! The most important person to question in this world is ourselves.

Now from the private mail box

Justin: You claim to be against religion and brainwashing... but the State has become your god/religion and you've fallen for the brainwashing of politicians and they've convinced you that supporting violence is acceptable. I suggest that you seriously reexamine your ideas.

Sylvie Imelda Shene: I am not attached to any group, political cult or not political, I just vote for the one that I think is going to be less harmful, because it does not matter if I vote or not, someone is going to be in charge of government. Just let it go and try to go feel and understand your anger in the context of your own childhood, because I am just the trigger and not the cause of your anger, so you don’t unconsciously and compulsively pass it into your child that’s the most important thing you can do at the moment.

Justin: Voting for the lesser of two evils, which is very debatable, is still supporting evil.

And I'm not "attached" to any group.. especially not any "cult".

Anger is simply an emotion. It's not evil. A person who isn't angry about injustice and criminality around them is only living in denial and deeply confused.

Quit trying to act like you're taking the moral high ground when just the opposite is true.

Claiming to support non-violence while supporting a violent politician only makes you a hypocrite and discredits your work.

Sylvie Imelda Shene: Let it go… are you going to force yourself on your child like you are doing to me when you don’t agree with him?

Justin: You let it go. Let go of your hypocrisy and support of violence. I'm not "forcing" anything onto you. Quit playing victim here. This is a voluntary exchange through a website.

What you are supporting is unethical. I will teach my children about non-aggression.. and I will also model that by not supporting the aggression of others. You can't say the same.

Sylvie Imelda Shene: You are trying to control me, coercing me not to vote, so who is the hypocrite here? You are not different than government that wants to control others, but sadly this is how you going to be with your child and the vicious circle will continue into the next generation endless.

Justin: Once again, you're playing victim and being completely irrational. I haven't threatened any kind of force against you. Claiming that I'm trying to control you is absurd. Exposing someone's hypocrisy and support of aggression is NOT forcing anything onto them.

It is YOU who is continuing the vicious cycle of violence. We can end it by NOT supporting violence as you are and instead by supporting voluntary interaction.
I am raising my children peacefully without coercion and force.. not personally and not by using government force as you are.

Sylvie Imelda Shene: You are projecting yourself into me.

Justin: I'm not projecting anything. I am simply accepting the reality of what you're doing and explaining it to you.

You claim to support non-violence but you are doing just the opposite. That's a fact. Government is violence.

It's so sad that reasons people will come up with to continue supporting aggression. It's just really discouraging to see someone like you doing just that.

Sylvie Imelda Shene: you are being violent right now by forcing your views on to me. Are you going to force yourself on your children when you don’t agree with them too, it seems it has to be your way or the high way.

Justin: Absolutely not. I have not used or threatened any force. You are now lying.

Justin: You accuse me of the very thing that you are doing by promoting a violence politician who is guilty of mass murder. Your vote truly is forcing that onto others. And then you accuse me of something that I'm not even doing. You should be ashamed of your actions and words.
WAKE UP.

 

Monday, October 1, 2012

Open letter to Martin Miller


Dear Martin Miller,

I hope my letter finds you well. I wrote the letter below to you a long time ago, but I never send it to you, but it came to my attention that you reached out to B. R. and I am concerned, because I know this woman still a wolf in sheep clothes and will exploit you, like she exploited your mother the same way she was exploited as a little child in order to advance herself and not have to face and consciously experience the painful repressed emotions of the child she once was within the context of her own childhood.

Your mother’s books saved my life and I resolved my repression with the assistance of her books and website as you can see in my letter to you below.

The words B.R. wrote to her followers are not genuine, but a game strategy for her, playing the victim card to take credibility from your mother and advance herself.



Dear Martin Miller,

I hope my letter finds you well. I have wanted to write you for the longest time, but for some reason I felt shy, maybe because I don’t know you well, writing to your mother was easy, because I felt like I knew her and we both understood each other a 100%.


I read the interview you gave to Spiegel. First of all I am so sorry your mother was not, yet, strong enough when you were little to stand up to your father and protect you. It makes me sad that some people like Daniel Mackler, I don’t know if you have heard of him and others like him that try to make a name for themselves by stepping on your mother’s head and using her as their scapegoat or poisonous container. They took your words out of context and create a smoke screen to unconsciously or consciously confuse your mother’s readers and blocking her books from reaching more people like me, that their lives are hanging on the ballot to hear the whole truth from someone else, like I was all my life, they create this smoke screen so they don’t have to face and feel their own painful repressed emotions and fears of the child they once were within the context of their own childhood and also, that, they can bring attention to their books and get new members for their cults by using disconnected truths, some, taken from your mother’s books to hook people in, but in reality are filled with hidden morality, poisonous pedagogy, guilt inducing to manipulate and control the emotionally blind people in our society that unfortunately is the majority and use their followers like a drug to keep their fears and painful feelings at bay, but they cannot fool someone that have felt their fears and repressed emotions of the child they once were in the right context and therefore have removed the blinds and are able to see clear and cannot any longer be deceive by others wearing sheep clothes, but remain wolves inside, proclaiming their love for children and wanting to stop child abuse, taking the ultimate cause, but unconsciously they are contributing for the vicious circle of child abuse to continue by using disconnected half truths or very well-articulated seductive lies coated with bits of disconnected half truths, they have memorized like parrots to deceive themselves and others perpetuating theirs and their followers childhood drama where they play the role of the substitute parents and the followers playing the role of the child. These words your mother wrote in her book “For Your Own Good” could not be any truer: “Conditioning and manipulation of others are always weapons and instruments in the hands of those in power even if these weapons are disguised with the terms educationand therapeutic treatment. Since one's use and abuse of power over others usually have the function of holding one's own feelings of helplessness in check--which means the exercise of power is often unconsciously motivated--rational arguments can do nothing to impede this process.”


Nothing can one ever say take away from the pioneering, courageous and honest work your mother did. She was a true heroine. As Alice Miller shared in her article, “The Longest Journey” published in her website: “It has taken me all my life to allow myself to be what I am and to listen to what my inner self is telling me, more and more directly, without waiting for permission from others or currying approval from people symbolizing my parents.” It took her all of her life, but she did it and exposed the lies and hypocrisy of society. My experience has been the same as your mother’s. A reader of your mother’s wrote to her saying: “Books do not help to break open the prisons, it is true, but there are books that give us courage to rattle at the prison gates with new courage. Your book is such a one to me.” --- That is exactly how your mother’s books are to me. It has taken me, too, all my life, but thanks to your mother’s books as my enlightened witness I was able to gather a new and tougher courage to remove the invisible shackles and break free from the emotional prison I was born into.


Before your mother’s passing I had the privilege to ex-change many e-mails with her, which three of them she published on her website. You can read all the e-mails exchanged between me and your mother, if you like, on my website: http://www.sylvieshene.com/

Sincerely,