Thursday, December 26, 2013
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
It is true that the younger ages are conducive to blackmail. Since any alleged education is after all, a common training. We do everything for our children to reproduce the same designs ... the same figures ... even the pure reason.
Remember the first injunction or you give yourself or we'll give you up. You have the choice between servitude or solitude. We must submit or cease to be ... we are all here, to reproduce the same mechanism , authoritarian , safe, sectarian .
Woe to him who rebels or escapes ... he will be left to himself , neglected , ignored or mocked by all.
You were taught to be servile, you were ordered to serve, to suffer the most coercive for emotional security measures. It is not only to obey the order, but it is mainly to reproduce it. Unchanged. Of copy-pasted not to let go.
No ... you're not yourself. You are what was made of you ... one that looks like all the others.
Pale copy of an old model.
The same monkey which learns the same grimaces and falls in love with the same female monkeys.
Same universe where you must go through the same galleys ... because freedom is a little bit too expensive ... loneliness, anguish and decay.
Why I redo the story ?
Because you always have stubbornly to be right ... and do you know why?
Because you're like everyone else, unable to hear any reason other than yours because like everyone you know, you do not know it is not yours.
This is the reason of your teachers and your ancestors that you seek to impose on everyone, you are only a watchdog that ensures and monitors the reason for his master... being confident that it is his.
To be a man or free woman is not trying to be right but to know the reasons of others.
Alone and free instead of being chained to the same rock, that of a society that is afraid to live and afraid to die ...
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
This is why MM still stuck in in his hatred for his mother, because he is still emotionally dependent on his mother and also dependent on her money and using her to make money for himself. He is trying to make a name for himself by unconsciously in a symbolic way kill his mother with his book to free himself, but these are fantasies of a small child and we never achieve true freedom by allowing the wounded child’s fantasies dictate our present actions, but actually will keep us stuck and strengthening the walls of our emotional prison leaving very little chance of ever escaping our childhood emotional prison.
So my suggestion to you is to find someone you can talk with freely about all of your authentic feelings and helps you clarify and consciously feel all of your feelings within the context of your childhood and focus on improving your physical health. Also look for resources you might have to help you gain autonomy how slow or little might be, baby steps is better than not taking any steps at tall. I wish you much luck, courage and strength on your journey.
Here is another blog about primal therapy.
Read Alice's article at the bottom.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
“It is rather surprising that a woman of your profession has the courage to leave, at least partially, the system of denial and open the eyes for the truth of her childhood after having read a book. There are millions of people in your position who never find the courage to do so and to question the lies they have been told early in their lives.
Monday, October 14, 2013
NEVER, allow people symbolizing your parents take charge of your life and make decisions for you or make another adult your substitute parent and let her/him regress you to the wounded child you once were, because that is putting you in a position of being controlled and manipulated by another person, just like when you were a little child and can be very dangerous to your mental and physical health and well-being.
An example is the followers of the secret by James Arthur Ray, he symbolizing their parents/caretakers and the followers “the good children” follow his directions without question it and two paid the price with their lives for this mistake. Read more about this sad tragic story here
Another example is Tony Robbins with his TV program “Breakthrough” he like many gurus out there is taking advantage and exploiting emotionally blind people and putting people’s well-being in danger, a few years ago I was going through the TV channels and Tony Robbins’s show “breakthrough” was on and he had this emotionally blind woman sleeping outside with the homeless, so she would have the experience of having nothing and in this way she was suppose to get over her depression and make her grateful for the things she has, how sad that this grown person puts her life in this guru’s hands and allows him to regress her to helpless, lost child she once was and exploit her just like her parents did when she was a little defenseless child.
I am amazed at the amount of smart and intelligent people fall for seductive words by charismatic people like Tony Robbins. Just like Alice Miller says in her book “For Your Own Good: hidden cruelty in child-rearing and the roots of violence.” “… We have seen how easy it is for intellectuals in a dictatorship to be corrupted, it would be a vestige of aristocratic snobbery to think that only “the uneducated masses” are susceptible to propaganda. Both Hitler and Stalin had a surprisingly large number of enthusiastic followers among intellectuals. Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self. Indeed, intelligence is capable of innumerable rationalizations when it comes to the matter of adaptation.”
Also in her book Paths of Life Alice Miller says: "MANY PROBLEMS APPEAR in a new light when we look to childhood as a source of possible explanations. We are living in an age in which democracies are gaining the upper hand over dictatorships. At the same time the cult-group phenomenon is an indication that there is a growth in the number of totalitarian systems to which people voluntarily submit themselves. People growing up in a spirit of liberty and tolerance, accepted in childhood for what they are, rather than being throttled and stunted by their upbringing, would hardly place themselves at the mercy of a cult group of their own accord. And if by chance or skillful manipulation, they did fall afoul of such an organization, they certainly would not stay there very long.
...In my view, however, this allegedly conscious exploitation can also be traced back to unconscious motives. Terrible as the consequences were, I do not believe, for example, that the two initiators of “feeling therapy,” discussed earlier, actually set out to establish a totalitarian regime. It was the power they gained over their adherents that made them into gurus. And this is what I have in mind when I refer to the unconscious aspects of manipulation. In the end they themselves become the victims of a process with an inexorable logic of its own, a process they were unaware of because they had never given it any thought.
Also in the article below Alice Miller articulates very well the dangers of re-birth therapy.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
"Thank you for your letter, I am so glad for you that you have widely open eyes and have the courage to check the courage of the therapists you are talking to so that you will not become a victim of illusions. You can check 20 of them, probably you will get the same answers, full of avoidance but maybe you will find eventually somebody who will answer your questions honestly. If not you learned a lot, and you can benefit from this experience. Concerning the feminist therapists I agree with you completely. I wrote already 30 yours ago that females can abuse their babies, infants and small children with a total impunity, nobody controls them. They can take on their children all the humiliations they suffered from men in our society. Later, their sons who "love" their mothers can transfer their rage onto their daughters or other women or make war and rape women but still adore, defend, and respect their mothers because what they suffered as small children stays unconscious, totally repressed. And many of us seem to need for a long time the illusion of having had a wonderful mother. You are right, the tragedy begins with the mother that is protected by all societies and honored in most religions as the innocent sainte. In German exist already some books that broke with this taboo but for the English publications you must look at Google. The book by Bass and Davis is very helpful for victims of sexual child abuse but unfortunately the authors who are feminists write that only very few women abuse children. That is absolutely not true. There are apparently also women pedophile who live with boys of 10 to 12 year old and say that this is (for them!!!) a beautiful " relationship". Not to be aware of using children to revenge the own trama and ruining their lives is not only the atitude of men but of both genders as long as child abuse remains an issue avoided by the whole ignorant society." Alice Miller
Friday, September 27, 2013
An animal will respond to attack with “fight or flight.” Neither course is open to an infant exposed to aggression from immediate family members. Thus the natural reaction remain pent up, sometimes for decades, until it can be taken out on a weaker object.” Alice Miller ~ Paths of Life, page 156 and 157
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Of course I have compassion for her son that is in the same boat as most of the people in the rest of the world of having to find the courage to face and feel his own repression, if he truly wants to break free and I have compassion for Alice Miller that suffer in her childhood like most people in the world and the terrible pain she suffers as an adult when she realized that she had hurt her own child by not standing up to her husband and defend her child from his abusive father.
I am not a mother, but I feel this has to be one of the worst pain for a mother or father to feel that we hurt our own child and that he is stuck in an emotional prison or time capsule because of what we did or not did when they were defenseless little infants and this is why most parents deny the truth to protect themselves from feeling this intense pain, and this is why I never had children, because I could feel I did not have what was needed to raise a conscious human being and that I would not be able to bear the pain of hurting a child I brought into the world, but I am very grateful Alice found the courage and strength to feel her pain and became honest with herself and owned up to her mistakes as a young mother and worked very hard to write her books to warn the rest of the world of the consequences of childhood repression, most parents can never own up to their mistakes towards their children no matter how much evidence we put in front of them and go on blaming the children and unconsciously and compulsively use them and others endless to alleviate their own repression.
The quote by Marshall Rosenberg in the link below is so true.
Also, read The Courage of Alice Miller Was Astonishing
Thank you for writing. I completely agree with everything you wrote. This comment made by Makus Roth on the article you sent me, says also almost the same thing you just said above: “Alice Miller's life cycle is comparable to the conversion of Sau to Paul, from the unconscious to the conscious mother. when she wrote the first of her 13 books (drama dbk= Das Drama de begabten Kiindes, The drama of the gifted child), 1979, when her son was already 29 years old and she kept on developing every time clearer and clearer. Already years ago she apologized to her son for her misbehavior in his childhood, whereas her son had and still has trouble with it.” Makus Roth
I feel Alice Miller’s experience is very similar to mine. My love for my ex and my desire to help him made me look for help so we could save our relationship and in the process I freed myself.
Alice Miller too saw that her son had problems, and how ironic they both have the same name, my ex’s name is also Martin! Alice Miller like me started lifting every stone to look for clues to help her son and in the process resolved her own repression and freed herself, just like me that I went out looking for clues how to help my Ex and I end up liberating myself in the process.
And at the end, I had to let my ex-go, and Alice too had to let her son go because once a person is an adult, no one, not even the mother, can make up for what we need as children and we didn’t get.
Once we are adults only we can save ourselves and anyone that tells us otherwise are fooling us with false hopes and promises.
Alice Miller was driven to write her books to warn society of the dangers of childhood repression to save the children of the future and help us to face and resolve our own repression.
This is why it’s so important for people to face their own repression before having children or at least become aware of their own childhood repression before their children become teenagers and adults, because it’s not the trauma itself that causes long term damage, but the repressed emotions caused by trauma that causes long term damage and if parents became aware of the damage done before their children became teenagers or adults, then they can help their children express their true feelings of anger, fear and hurt, because the children are still emotionally dependent on their parents, but once the children become teenagers or adults the defense mechanisms and walls have been built and it’s out of the parents hands, they can become the most conscious parents, but it will be too late, because they can’t force the teenagers and adult children remove the walls to face and feel their childhood repression, if they don’t wish to do so. She made herself very vulnerable to all the psychopaths in the world to warn us, her courage is astonishing.
Psychopaths/sociopaths always feed on people weakness to advance themselves and don’t care who they hurt, step on and destroy in the process as long they get what they want.
In the interview Martin Miller is giving in the link you sent me, he is speaking in German and of course I don’t understand what he is saying, but the body never lies and the language of the body is universal, his body is telling his truth and you can see how this man has been repressing all of his life with the aid of food and probably also with all kinds of medications, and never allowed himself to consciously feel the full range of the repressed feelings of the child he once was within the context of his own childhood.
And as long we go on repressing our feelings the compulsion to abuse ourselves, others or both will go on endless overtly or covertly and you can see he has been abusing himself by overeating to numb his feelings when present situations trigger him because he is extremely overweight.
The title of his book is “The true drama of the gifted child- the tragedy of Alice Miller” but the title of his book should have been: “The Drama of the gifted child - the tragedy of my life” because his life is the real tragedy and sad beyond words, because he still stuck in his childhood and probably will never break free, because he is already 63 and the older we get hard it gets to resolve our repression.
Alice Millers’ life is not a tragedy, because she broke free and died free, the beginning of her life was a tragedy, but not the end of her life, she became honest with herself and others and that is the most important achievement anyone can reach in this lifetime, not like most people in our society that are stuck in their childhood pretending and acting as if personality their whole lives, fooling themselves and others.
As Alice says in her book The Body Never Lies, page, 86: ““… For how can I prove to someone that freedom is within reach if all his life he has clung to the constraints that were necessary for his survival and if he cannot imagine life without those constraints? I can say that I myself have achieved such freedom by getting to the bottom of my own story, but I have to admit that I am not a good example. After all, it took me over forty years to arrive at the stage I have reached now. But there are others. I know people who have succeeded in unearthing their memories in a much shorter space of time, and the discovery of their own truth has enabled them to emerge from the autistic hiding place that used to be their only refuge. In my case, the reason the journey took so long was that I was on my own for most of it.”
Letter to P About Martin Miller's book
The Pain of a Mother
In Most Cases is a Lie
Don’t let Others Exploit your Repressed Anger to do Harm
Psychoanalysis and most therapies hinders people’s liberation and autonomy
Open letter to Martin Miller
Monday, September 23, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
New poster here.
Reading through I wanted to add some ideas that I didn’t see in other comments.
I mainly want to say that I think it’s totally reasonable of Alice Miller to be unresponsive to your [Daniel Mackler’s] essay and even dismissive.
Here is a woman who has spent much of her life swimming upstream, going against the flow, fighting against the going paradigm. Simultaneously, she is trying to heal her own wounds; she must feel awfully vulnerable much of the time. So here she is trying to stand up to constant criticism while at the same time carrying around all these unhealed wounds.
And here you come along and attack her, yet again. It’s true that you also say how much you have learned from her, how influential she has been for you. But your primary purpose with the essay seems to be to harp on how she’s NOT PERFECT.
Sorry for the all caps shouting, but I want to make a point that by writing your essay with this accusatory tone, you are practicing exactly the same sort of critical, judgmental behavior that you say is so damaging. Somehow you expect this wounded, damaged soul, Alice Miller, to be immune to your criticism; for her not to be sensitive to your attacks.
In my experience, people go deaf when they feel attacked. They don’t respond with an open-minded desire to learn. I imagine, given her life history and the fact that her theories are probably subject to constant criticism—at the same time that they are also praised by many—, she’s sensitive. Who wouldn’t be?
If I were you, I’d go back and try to read your essay with a mind to how it might feel to be Alice Miller and read your words.
Given the feelings that your essay might invoke in her, imagine her trying to remain detached and un-triggered by old wounds. No matter how successful you might be in remaining detached when people make comments, this doesn’t mean she should be able to be equally detached. She’s under constant fire, from all sides; she’s getting old, and probably worn out from the battle. Despite all her efforts, and all her insights, she hasn’t been able to truly get the healing she needs. She’s also a woman in a field where most of the heavy hitters have been men. Getting recognition and not being heard as “shrill” is a battle women have to face on top of everything else.
And you might think here about the fine line between detachment and dissociation, which you’ve mentioned elsewhere on other topics. I think there might be a little bit of a disconnect inside you about your ability to remain “dispassionate” and take on criticism, and recognizing that others (such as Alice Miller) may be still so painfully connected to the old wounds that they cannot be dispassionate.
Can you cut her some slack? Not be so hard on her? She’s done amazing things. No one is perfect. Life is a series of course corrections.
And perhaps you might even consider what parts of your own unhealed wounds you are projecting onto her in your demands for perfection. Are you insisting that she be the perfect mother you never had? I would perhaps question your motives in writing your essay as a “critique,” rather than simply saying “Here’s what I learned from Alice Miller’s amazing work. And here are some ways that I think maybe we could go even further.”
Can you imagine writing what you did, extending her theories, going beyond where she went without attacking her in the process? If you were able to do this, I think she would feel validated, appreciated. You would be building on what she did do, what she did accomplish, rather than focusing on the areas where she was human and failed to be perfect.
If you choose to re-read your essay with an eye toward greater compassion toward Alice Miller, you might notice that using “Limits” in the title started off on the wrong foot to get her to listen to you with an open mind. You might do some word counts to see how often you use language that most people would perceive as critical if they were on the receiving end. Try to put yourself in her shoes.
And I realize you didn’t write the essay as a direct letter to her, and maybe never thought about whether she’d ever read it. You were processing your own needs, which is cool.
I think it’d be an interesting, and revealing, exercise for you to try to say what you think about her in a non-judgmental way.
Also read my blogs in the links below:
The Courage of Alice Miller Was Astonishing
Then Pain of a Mother
In Most Cases is a Lie
Don’t let Others Exploit your Repressed Anger to do Harm
Saturday, August 31, 2013
She is 20 year old and lost like most people in the rest of the world. Let’s not demand more from a 20 year old than we do from the rest of the world. They are a lot of people and a lot older with that same or even bigger platform masquerading as responsible, loving caring people making millions of dollars selling the same old recycled seductive lies and half truths that do a lot more harm under the disguise of help. They are nothing but cult leaders promoting others cult leaders misleading and deceiving the public, like for example, a lady that her name starts with an O. I don’t want to say her name, because right now I don’t want to deal with the backlash, because sadly most people are just like little children that cannot bear the truth about their parents and will defend and attack anyone that dears to expose the big lies or illusions of people standing in symbolizing their mother/father. At least Miley Cyrus is not deceiving anyone! She was just acting silly and using her sexuality to get attention and make money!
That was my thought too. If it was a guy sticking the tongue out and grabbing his crotch in a disgusting way no one would care. This gender bias in our society has always pissed me off since I was a little girl. And the truth be told. She was exploited as a child and taught that money and fame was the most important thing in life. Every artist is trying to communicate something in a symbolic way and if we judge the artist and his/her art form instead of trying to understand its language, we miss the message. What I see from her performance is that she is disgusted and pissed off and her anger is justified, because she has been exploited by everyone in her life since she was born and now as an adult, she is grabbing herself in a disgusting way and sticking her tongue out at the world and she really saying: Fxxx you all! She is stuck in a time capsule like the rest of the world and the only difference between her and the rest of the world is that she is in a time capsule with a lot of more money! But at least she is not deceiving anyone like most people in our society in power positions pretending to have it all together behind a pretty façade fooling everyone and blocking the truth that could save the world, so they don’t have to face and feel their own painful truths. I hope Miley finds true freedom from her time capsule before she dies. Madonna use to bug me a lot more with her every calculated move, but her just like Miley is stuck in a time capsule and I don’t think Madonna will ever find true freedom before she dies. This quote by Alice Miller comes to mind: “It is not true that evil, destructiveness, and perversion inevitably form part of human existence, no matter how often this is maintained. But it is true that we are daily producing more evil and, with it, an ocean of suffering for millions that is absolutely avoidable. When one day the ignorance arising from childhood repression is eliminated and humanity has awakened, an end can be put to the production of evil.” — Alice Miller, Banished Knowledge, p. 141
You see their plan worked beautifully! They wanted to make money and they did it! They all are giving the hypocrites of world the middle finger! :-) "Despite the scorn earned by her performance of “Blurred Lines,” Cyrus has since sold 90,000 digital downloads of her new track “Wrecking Ball BLL -0.87%,” which debuted the day of the VMAs. The song now sits at No. 13 on Billboard‘s digital songs chart. The impact has been even broader in social media. According to data outfit MusicMetric, the former Hannah Montana star has seen a 112% rise in activity over the week before, adding 226,273 new Facebook FB +0.06% fans and 213,104 new Twitter followers from August 24 to August 28.
Her manager reportedly summed up her VMA performance quite simply: “It could not have gone better.”"http://www.forbes.com/sites/
According to Quartz, the word "twerk" has even been added to the Oxford Dictionaries Online. "Twerk" has been defined as "a dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance."
Lady Gaga has to be really pissed! I heard she was almost naked on stage! But I don’t see any videos of her anywhere! She probably saying to herself: damn it I got naked for nothing! :-)
Miley whatever you do in the future just don’t go sit in the Oprah’s couch! Please don’t let that woman exploit you like everyone else!
Also this quote by Alice Miller just came to mind:
Some people can't let go of Miley Cyrus and someone posted a video of this hypocritical woman projecting her shame into Miley. Here is my comments on that video.
Below is my comment to the open letter of Sinead O'Connor to Miley Cyrus:
Why can’t people let go of Miley Cyrus. Sinead O'Connor suffers from what I like to call the prodigal son syndrome, she used to be a rebel, but came a day when she could no longer cope alone with her painful emotions and turned to religion for help, didn’t she even became a priest herself?! Religion/god is the substitute parent figure and remains a child stuck in her childhood drama that never broke free and now she is slut shaming other young people like once she was shamed. The compulsion to do to others what once was done to us is very hard to stop. She is shaming Miley Cyrus under the disguise of wanting to help. It is exactly what happened to her when she was a young girl. She is reenacting unconsciously and compulsively her childhood drama, but now she is the one doing the shaming instead of being shamed, she just reversed the roles that’s all.
Good comments on my Facebook post below: