Fear

When reading a book, an article or talking with people, the moment I spot the lie, I lose interest.

Dear A, no, I was not thinking about you and didn’t spot any lies in any of your writings to me, maybe you are stuck and fearful, but you don’t hide that in your writing and I found you to be honest, not trying to pretend to be someone you are not. I am most thinking about people that write books and articles that pretend to be liberated or healed taking advantage of emotionally blind people by selling them half disconnected memorized truths like parrots. Right now I was thinking about the author of SxxxSxxxxxx, JB. I don’t know if you have heard of him. When my book came out a friend on Facebook told him about my book and he befriend me on Facebook and send me a message congratulating me, and suggesting for us to exchange our books and offered to write a review for my book, so I sent him my book and he sent me his, I could tell he was not real from his website and Facebook posts, but I gave him a chance, but I never heard from him, because I am sure he could tell I was real and I could see his lie and he felt naked and exposed by my book.  The moment I started reading his book I spot the lie right away and I stop reading it and I put it in the recycle bin. He is full of BS. 

The other day someone shared his Facebook status below that I am sure he got inspiration to write it from having read my book, but he, himself, have not have experienced and talks only from intellection knowledge by articulating very well, like a parrot, half disconnected truths he heard or read in books to impress others and allure emotionally blind people to join his cult, to protect himself from having to face and feel the full range of the intensity of the repressed feelings of the child he once was, like anger, fear, and shame. He is exploiting and using his followers as his medication to manage his own repression. It’s disgusting.

You are welcome. I didn't get any e-mails from you recently, did you sent it to my yahoo account?

he wrote that, but I felt he was inspired by my book to come up with that half-baked concept.

what an add coincidence  that you wrote to me and then I post that Facebook statues and you thought was triggered by your e-mail that I never read, maybe so I could find out you sent me an e-mail!  Re-send it again.  Thanks for writing, Sylvie

Yes, I received it and I just read it. Thanks for sending it again. I am at work and I will respond a little later. Your fears, I am sure are valid, if you still live with the people that abused you and used you as an object of transference when you were a completely defenseless little child to alleviate and manage their own fears by spying and control your every move. As long you live and you are dependent on your mother, she is going to try to use you to alleviate and manage her own fears by spying and controlling you.

 Hi A,

 Thank you for writing to clarify.

 “I am at my mother's house and I feel big anxiety because I can't be myself and have an honest communication.” This is the sentence that made me think you were living with your mother. Maybe you meant to write: when I am at my mother’s house instead. It’s much better if you don’t live with your mother, because in this way you have the freedom to be and feel your feelings. I think most of the fears you are feelings belong to the child you once were and maybe some from the present moment. If you think people are entering your flat without your permission when you are not there, why have you not change the locks? And change your password of your e-mail if you think someone has accessed your e-mail account. I think your challenge is to see what fears belong in the past, that are being triggered by stressful situations in the present, and what fears belong in the present caused by the present situations. Feeling all of our feelings in the right context is the key for our liberation. Repressed fears of the child we once were, have to be seen, understood and consciously feel them as feelings of the child and the fears belonging in the present will be a guide to help you see the steps to take in order to protect yourself from the real danger you might be facing now. I had a long day at work and I am really exhausted to think and write, so I will try to write more tomorrow.

Take good care,

 Sylvie