Sunday, January 25, 2015

They are Allergic to my Aliveness

Since writing this blog, exactly a year later, my ex-boss, who the property manager recruited to do her dirty work, killed himself in a standoff with the local police after robbing a bank on March 11, 2016, that by coincidence was my birthday! So, the property manager does have blood on her hands after all, because I know without a doubt, if she had not started this psychological warfare against me, he would still be alive – he was her collateral damage – when people start wars someone always gets hurt or killed!!! I was her target to destroy, but when was one of her helpers to lose his mind and self-destruct, everyone involved became silent, and now is a big cover-up that involves the FBI, the US Marshals, and the media. It's a shame he was not strong enough to stand up to do the right thing and let himself become a puppet of the property manager -- he paid a high price for it. Puppets never have a good end. If it was me, the little woman to commit a crime my name and face would have been splashed all over the news stations! And then all probably go on TV talking about how disturbed the little woman was -- to discredit me and my book -- and make a name for themselves by standing on my head. And all probably say that you need God in your life, my ex-boss was a Mormon, a man of God, but he was the one to lose his mind, but now is a big cover-up. I could see their dirty games and traps so clearly.
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Below is my response to someone's comment on my post: The Pope is Fooling Himself and Others with the Illusion of Love

I agree with everything you wrote. Until we ask ourselves why women are hated so much everywhere around the world, we will never stop violence against women, children and animals. And the rest like you say: is intellectual masturbation.

The hatred for women comes from the latent hate of the child at his mother that now is misplaced and directed at all other women. And this is why some women hate women too, they hate their mothers, but now they take revenge on all other women just like some men do to protect their own mothers.

In my personal life is usually a woman behind the scenes trying to bring me down and manipulate men to do their dirty work.

It’s happening to me right now, some people were supportive of my book, because they thought my book was just another story like many out there writing what the public likes to hear to distract them from their own painful truth with the same old recycled pretty seductive lies and half-truths, but my book is not just another storytelling the same bullshit like many authors out there.

My book is a strong mirror and they don’t like their own reflections, so they want to try to bring me down. How dear of me, an ex-topless dancer and now a gate attendant put such a strong mirror in front of them. And like my family they are using the same tactics by saying that is to protect me, but what they want to do is to put me in my place and show me who is in charge to manage their own fears and keep their own image, repression and little illusions intact.

Just as Alice Miller says: “Conditioning and manipulation of others are always weapons and instruments in the hands of those in power even if these weapons are disguised with the terms education and therapeutic treatment.” For Your Own Good, P. 278

And of course, just like my teachers and older sisters, they want to destroy my spirit so I will be like them. They are allergic to my aliveness.

Just like Donald wrote in the discussion about my book: “The passage below from the Alice Miller interview How To Combat Denial came to my mind right away when I read of your sisters blaming your mother for your being so difficult and rebellious:

Borut Petrovic Jesenovec: I notice that a lot of people become allergic when they see a truly childlike child unburdened by guilt and abuse. They just can’t stand it. They repeat that every child must be socialized as soon as possible, in other words, taken away from parents and put into kindergarten so that he/she becomes "available" to anyone. They preach the benefits of socialization as if it was a most sacred, noble cause. I find this social pressure enormous. But in this context socialization equals adaptation to cruelty. Why is a child who is alive, genuine and pure, in their eyes unbearable, even sinful, and must, by all means, be mutilated so he/she would become similar to them?

Alice Miller: Because the child’s creativity and liveliness triggers in the parents the repressed pain of being suffocated. They are afraid of feeling the pain, so they do whatever they can to avoid the triggers. By insisting on obedience they kill the lively child, they victimize him or her as they themselves were victimized before. For that reason, they absolutely need information. This is why we talk and work on this interview. Most parents don’t want to hurt their children; they do it automatically, just by repeating what they themselves learned as children. We can help them to stop this destructive behaviour by explaining to them why it is actually destructive. So that they can wake up and make a choice.
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