Thursday, May 28, 2015

New Age Bullshit Generator

New Age Bullshit Generator

If I had written a book telling the same old recycled bullshit that a computer can generate! My book would have been a best seller already! And the reason this bullshit is so popular with the people is because it doesn't challenge them to face their own painful childhood repression.

Sign the Circumcision Authorization Papers Young Lady

“Is this anything even close to what nearly 3 million US dead and wounded soldiers, sailors and airmen since the Revolution had in mind?” Steve Thomas

Mom signs consent for son's circumcision to get out of jail — but now faces new criminal charge

Yes, body autonomy and freedom of speech in America is an illusion, a farce, and a sham. All wars we have is to make sure people remain slaves of the state and don't even try to liberate yourself, because they will mobilize all forces at their command to put you back in your place. You saw what happened to me at my last job, as long they thought I was a good slave, they all were very nice to me, but the moment they found out I was a liberated soul, they started mobilizing all the forces at their command to bring me down and put me in my place of the good silent servant  slave. The publishing of my book it shuttered their illusion of being superior to me and they rather see me dead than face their own repression, they were pure evil, so they could keep their own repression intact and their illusion of grandiosity by hiring someone new that they could feel superior to and wouldn't challenge them.

Breaking Their Will

Why does this happen?
The judge must be a sociopath that was circumcised and now wants others to have the same fate as him. “Their consciousness, however, has not registered the realities of their situation. By repressing not only the pain but also their anger and desire for revenge, they have managed to banish consciousness, even idealizing the custom. Today, as a result of their repression, they can justify the procedure as harmless and necessary. They cannot recall their repressed anger and have never grieved about what happened to them. Consequently, they inflict the same ordeal on their children without wishing to acknowledge what they're doing to them.” Alice Miller Read more here
 

 

Friday, May 22, 2015

Interesting that Doris Day's Husband was also Marty

Very interesting that Doris Day's husband was also Marty!!! Having fame and money before liberating yourself from the emotional prison of your childhood can make you a perfect target and vulnerable to sociopaths. Very sad she never encountered a true enlightened witness in her life to help her understand the real roots of her troubles and that her husband was just a substitute figure standing in symbolizing her childhood abusers probably her dad.

How Doris Day's third husband cost her sanity - and her £66million fortune 

"Doris Day was one of Hollywood's biggest names, starring in more than 40 films during the Fifties and Sixties.
But a compelling new biography reveals that, behind her girl-next-door image, lay a fatal weakness for violent and unsuitable men. In part one of our serialisation we told how one lover planned to shoot her dead. Here, in the concluding part, another man drives her towards mental breakdown...
Married for the third time and aged just 27, Doris Day desperately wanted to be the wholesome housewife she so often portrayed in her movies. But, once again, it wasn't to be."
Read more here








Wednesday, May 20, 2015

My Little Reviews of the Books of Alice Miller

Bea Strauss-Zelnick Sylvie Imelda Shene, The only Alice Miller I know of and can find on-line is a Psychoanalyst. Are you referring to her, if so, which books would you recommend?

Bea, all of her of books were a big help in my liberation that is hard for me to recommend which one to read first. Below are my little reviews of all of her books that I share at the end of my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions:


I’ve read every book written by Alice Miller multiple times. You should see my copies of them — pages are dogeared and many passages are highlighted! Every Alice Miller book has something to offer people on their paths to freedom and I encourage you to read them all.  The first Alice Miller book I ever read was Thou Shalt Not Be Aware, and the ones that really clicked for me when I started my journey of discovery were The Truth Will Set You Free, Breaking Down the Walls of Silence and Banished Knowledge. Below is a list of every book written by Alice Miller, along with some of my thoughts about each one that I hope you’ll find useful. The editions listed below are the ones I used to source the quotes that are footnoted in my book.


Prisoners of Childhood (Basic Books, 1981)


This is the first book Alice Miller wrote and it’s the last book of hers that I read. The new edition of this book, retitled The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, made her famous in the United States and is actually a lot easier to understand. Prisoners is much more academic and was written at a time when Alice Miller still believed that psychoanalysis could help people resolve their repression. By the time The Drama was published, Alice Miller had given up on the illusion of psychoanalysis. She found that its theory and practice actually hindered true liberation because it was just another form of what she called poisonous pedagogy. She was so convinced that psychoanalysis was dangerous that she resigned from the psychoanalytical associations she belonged to.

For Your Own Good (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2002)

This is the second Alice Miller book I read. I was attracted to this book by the title because the people who hurt me the most when I was growing up would always say, “It’s for your own good.” This book answers the question of why some people can be so mean in our world. Alice Miller uses the lives of Hitler, a drug addict and a child murderer to demonstrate how abused, neglected and misunderstood children can grow up to be very dangerous adults.

Thou Shalt Not Be Aware (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1998)

I almost wish I hadn’t started my relationship with Alice Miller with this book, because it was very difficult for me to get through. But I could still tell that someone was finally speaking the truth based on facts, so I kept reading. It was refreshing to know that there was someone out there who had the courage to tell it like it is! This book helped me understand the consequences of the sexual exploitation of children. I came to see clearly how people who’ve been sexually abused as children will unconsciously and compulsively enter into exploitative sexual relationships. Most women who get into prostitution, for example, were extremely abused as children and are unconsciously and compulsively telling the true story of what happened to them when they were defenseless. In this book, Alice Miller dissects the lives of famous writers like Virginia Woolf and demonstrates how the abuse they suffered as children comes through in their creative endeavors.

Pictures of a Childhood, (Virago Press Limited, 1995)

In this book, Alice Miller shows how she gained access to her own childhood memories through paintings that show fear, despair and loneliness. Her creative outlet showed her a childhood she never believed she even had! This book really helped me see and feel the fear, despair and loneliness that I, too, had suffered throughout my childhood and youth.
The Untouched Key (First Anchor Books Edition, 1991)

With this book, Alice Miller remains focused on facts and continues removing the many veils that people have used since the beginning of human history to hide the truth. She analyzes the work of famous philosophers like Nietzsche and artists like Picasso, and shows how they symbolically tell the true stories of their childhoods without ever realizing it. Alice Miller believes that the symbolism in their work helped these great thinkers survive, but that it didn’t liberate them because they never made the fundamental connection between their ideas as adults and their truths as children.

Banished Knowledge (An Anchor Book, Published by Doubleday, 1990)

I wish I had read this book earlier because it really helped me understand the chains of repetition compulsion and how I kept reenacting my childhood drama in present relationships. Through this book I finally learned that the adult within me had to take responsibility and protect me from further abuse by paying attention to the wounded child who was also within me.
The Drama of the Gifted Child, (Basic Books, 1994)

As I mentioned earlier, this book is the revised edition of Alice Miller’s first book, Prisoners of Childhood. I like this version much better. Alice Miller shows how gifted, sensitive children end up losing themselves by repressing their strong feelings in order to accommodate the adults around them. The consequences of this can include depression on one end of the spectrum and narcissistic feelings of grandeur on the other.

Breaking Down the Wall of Silence (Basic Books, 1997)


This is another one of my favorite Alice Miller books. It really spoke to me directly and I wish I had read it earlier. The language in this book is much clearer than some of her other books. In a simple way it helped me understand my own history and the real reasons for my adult suffering. More than any other, this book paved the way for my true healing and total freedom. Alice Miller analyzes the lives of many infamous dictators and makes the link between the horrors they suffered as children and the ones they inflicted on their subjects.
Paths of Life — Seven Scenarios (First Vintage Books Edition, 1999)

In the first edition of Paths of Life, Alice Miller offers seven case studies. But in the paperback edition, based on new information, she removed the story of a woman called Sandra and the book was called Paths of Life — Six Scenarios. When I read Sandra’s story in the first edition I felt that something just didn’t make sense about her father — and it turns out I was right! In any event, the other case studies do a great job of explaining how our first experiences of pain and love affect all the relationships throughout our lives. This book helped me see how childhood suffering and loneliness prevent people from forming close ties with emotionally honest people. It’s only when our repressed fears are faced and resolved — and when our defensive mechanisms have been removed — that we become free to enter into healthy relationships.
The Truth Will Set You Free (Basic Books, 2001)


This is another one of my favorite Alice Miller books. It really helped me stay on my healing path and feel my repressed emotions without being distracted by false philosophies — no matter how seductive they sounded. In this book, Alice Miller explores brain development research and shows how humiliations, spankings and beatings, slaps in the face, betrayals, sexual exploitation, ridicule, neglect and other forms of childhood trauma can cause permanent brain damage. She shows how barriers in the mind — caused by childhood traumas that occurred when our brains were still being developed — make us emotionally blind to the damage done to us.
The Body Never Lies (W.W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2005)


Some people have complained to me that Alice Miller’s books are repetitive. It’s interesting to me that these same people haven’t been able to free themselves and remain stuck in their repressed childhoods without realizing it. Maybe if they kept reading all of Alice Miller’s books they’d be able to break through their repression and really liberate themselves! In each book, Alice Miller reinforces her main message in a different light, with new insights designed to help people see themselves and others more clearly and feel things on a deeper level. In this book, Alice Miller shows how religious leaders exploit our fears, use shame and guilt to control and manipulate us just like our parents did, and keep us in the dependent state of the child. She also explains how our repressed emotions can cause health problems in our adult lives.
Free From Lies (W.W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2009)


In this book, Alice Miller shows how we can really free ourselves — and save our lives — by finding the true history of our childhood and recognizing the lies and hypocrisy so prevalent in our society. I loved that she included some of the articles published on her website because it’s much easier to read them in the book and digest the insights. This book really helped me permanently remove the invisible reins of guilt, fear and shame put upon me by my childhood abusers, so that no one else could grab them to keep me hostage and chained in their emotional traps.
From Rage to Courage (W.W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2009)

Alice Miller shares the answers to many of her readers’ letters in this book. Her honest and compassionate answers helped me clearly see how we can use our strong emotions to reveal the personal truth that makes healing and liberation possible.
 
 
 
 

Monday, May 11, 2015

After Mother's Day

After mother's day here is an interesting article on parents whose misery may have destroyed the happiness of their children. A subject rarely talked if they commit something shocking majority just struggle to get through life as adults after miserable childhoods. Depressions, anxieties, panic attacks, anger bursts, and a host of other dysfunctions. Worth reading. Sylvie Imelda Shene might want to take note. Her book 'A Dance to Freedom' is relevant to the subject.
"The Debt: When terrible, abusive parents come crawling back, what do their grown children owe them?" By

Martine: Thank you very much Monica Chelagat for sharing! So true and comforting that more and more feeling human beings question the reality of their real childhood and don't fall for the forgiveness and 4th commandment BS imposed by religious beliefs. I always say that the opposite of Love is not Hate but Indifference. If you truly understand the dynamic of any relationship, starting with the relationship with your own self, the emotions and feelings are much clearer. To know that there are millions of us out there can be comforting but it also means that our society is extremely ill. Just like Sylvie, I have very little hope for Humanity.
Monica: It is amazing how simple the logic is but it is equally amazing the level of total lack of insight in many people to SEE this. I am a mother and like Alice Miller I did not give enough importance on the essentials of what a mother is, starting with leaving small children with people you do not know well like baby sitter, toxic relatives, toxic teachers. Of course, in the mix there are good people if one is lucky. There is a lot to be aware of apart from one's own blind spots as a parent. All you can do 'if the damage is done' is give them all the support by not hindering as adults to find their way into full consciousness of their own childhood. Understanding humanity is a fascinating subject even with all the pain in those who were unfortunate and suffered abuse and neglect but are struggling to resolve the consequences. Happy to read you Martine.
Sylvie Imelda Shene Very good article and comments! Thank you for sharing, Monica and Martine! Yes it's amazing how simple it is and it's amazing how difficult is for most people to find the courage to open their eyes to see and feel these fundamental truths! The repressed fear of the child they once were of the next beating by the parents can keep people stuck and sick forever. As I share the very truthful words by Alice Miller in my book A Dance to Freedom, page 126 and 127: "Alice Miller writes that “even smart people become stuck in confusion for years if the "healers’ demand from them the same as the parents did from the child: to stay blind, to forgive, to make amends, not to make troubles. The fear of the parents, stored up in the body, can make a person obedient and sick forever. I hope that you can overcome this fear by seeing through the hypocrisy of your helpers.”62 “It is a great mistake to imagine that one can resolve traumas in a symbolic fashion,” Alice Miller writes in The Drama of the Gifted Child. “If that were possible, poets, painters, and other artists would be able to resolve their pain through creativity. This is not the case, however. Creativity helps us channel the pain of trauma into symbolic acts; it doesn’t help us resolve it. If symbolic revenge for maltreatment received in childhood were effective, then dictators would eventually stop humiliating and torturing their fellow human beings. As long as they choose to deceive themselves about who really deserves their hatred, however, and as long as they go on feeding that hatred in symbolic form instead of experiencing and resolving it within the context of heir own childhood, their hunger for revenge will remain insatiable.”63

Sylvie: Monica, I always wonder what the pain might be like for a mother to realize that because of her blind spots caused by her own childhood traumas was not able to be the mother her children needed and how it has affected their childhood and adult lives. Your honesty in these words is very touching: "I am a mother and like Alice Miller I did not give enough importance on the essentials of what a mother is, starting with leaving small children with people you do not know well like baby sitter, toxic relatives, toxic teachers. Of course, in the mix there are good people if one is lucky. There is a lot to be aware of apart from one's own blind spots as a parent. All you can do 'if the damage is done' is give them all the support by not hindering as adults to find their way into full consciousness of their own childhood." I was wondering if you have read my blog The Pain of a Mother?

Monica: Thank you Sylvie on the above comment. It deserves an extensive response. In brief, as a mother your pains are multiple, your children's and your own. The former prevails. You learn to forgive yourself because you realise you were unconcious when you made the mistakes but do not expect your children to forgive you if they have not resolved. They might reach acceptance of their situations and progressively heal usually forgiveness is a consequence of resolution then may get closer as they realise you are doing your best to 'make up' and were not harmed out of deliberate neglect for example if one had to work or simply ignorant at the time. They freely and safely express their anger or what they think no matter how unpleasant. The process can be very tough it requires rnergy and patience. Communication is genuine. Blocks may persist but as time passes they reduce. Overall the quality of relating is pretty relaxed too and enjoy good relationship. It is also sad to know that things will never be as if nothing happened. You mourn and get on but at least one is realbin pain and happiness. No psychiatrist or psychologist can the job better than yourself. More soon and ha a good day! 
Sylvie Imelda Shene: Monica, thank you for sharing about your experience. I am so glad for you that you have found forgiveness for yourself and at the same time allowed room for your children to express their true feelings and never demand from them to forgive you that is something that happens natural after people consciously feel and express their true feelings within the context of their own childhood. So happy for you that you and your children are on the road to healing with an honest open genuine communication. Sadly this was not the case for Alice Miller and most people. Alice Miller too was able to find forgiveness for herself and no matter how hard she tried to have an open honest genuine communication with her adult son, he never allowed it because he was lost in the maze of psychoanalysis that cements and strengths the walls of our emotional prisons of instead demolishing them, so an open honest genuine communication is possible and he never found the road to true liberation and compassion for himself and his mother.
You might like reading my blog The Courage of Alice Miller Was Astonishing

 Eli: Thank you for sharing this article. It is very relevant to my own life and some of the issues I have been dealing with recently regarding my father. It is not a subject that I really am able to talk about with others, which can be very isolating and stressful. It seems there are very few people who have this dilemma, or at least people don't really discuss it. Therefore it has been of comfort to me to know I am not the only one going through this type of difficulty and given me a better idea about the decisions I have made and the decisions I should make in the future in order to protect my own mental health and well being. Regarding your comments Sylvie Imelda Shene, about carrying ones own problems onto the next generation, I think you are right and it does happen. While I have tried my utmost to break the cycle of bad parenting, which I have managed a good deal of success,however there are still minor things which I regret and which I know are a direct result of my own upbringing. I have discussed these things and apologised to my children for not being able to be the perfect parent I really wish I was and they have responded with affection and support. I do, however, think it takes more than one or two generations before the effects of trauma can be wiped out of a family. I guess the most important thing we can do for our children is to do our absolute best for them with the knowledge, skills and abilities we have, but we also to be honest about our own failings, in order to educate and support them, if they ever raise a family of their own. At least it is blessing now that we have the internet and therefore access to knowledge and support. The more awareness we have the better. So I thank all those who are brave, knowledgeable and kind enough to share it.

Sylvie Imelda Shene Eli, thank you for your honest comment. The key word is honesty. Tell children the truth and when you realize you made a mistake and done your child wrong apologize and give them the time, space and freedom to express their true feelings no matter how hard it is for you.
In the link below is the preface of the book Free from Lies by Alice Miller with the title “Telling Children the Truth”. I am still working on the Portuguese translation and I will have soon the English version available on my website also. I know you know Spanish so here is the Spanish translation!



Read more here and here
Also read Alice Miller's answer to her reader in her website

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Expressing our Fears

Dear J,

Thank you for writing expressing your fears for me! I feel those fears too! Of course, they are going to try to discredit me, that’s what the property manager and a few residents tried so hard to do at my last job! 

Whatever happens, will not change what I know and even if the law takes their side and goes against me, I will not lose anything and move on! 

I am not dependent on these people like the child I once was on the adults around me. I am just using this experience to try to expose the lies, if it works great and if it doesn’t I will move on. 

When something scares me is when I have to do it! If I had let the fears control me I would never have moved to the United States and I would never have written my book. 

While I was writing the book with my co-writer, I mentioned to him a few times that I might lose my job for writing my book, because it might trigger some people not ready to deal with their on repression and might try to destroy me for reminding them of their own childhood repression, so I was very well aware that this could happen, but it didn’t stop me and I trusted myself that I was strong enough to get through it of whatever my book might trigger. 

Alice Miller would not have written her books too if she had let her fears control her and of course people tried and still try to discredit her, always is going to be people trying to discredit us in order to keep their own lies, illusions, and repression intact, but I am not worried about those people and don’t care about them and what they think of me. 

I care about the people that are in the same place I once was that like to deal with the reality in their lives and can't live with the lies around them, but feel alone and hopefully my book together with Alice Miller’s books be a support and an enlightened witness in their lives.
You asked me if I have had dreams about this. Not really! All the dreams I have are pretty calm, but when I am awake I do worry about losing my present job and every time I get a call from my work my heart drops because I think they are calling me to fire me, but usually is just to talk to me about the schedule!

You asked me if I know what motivates my friends to want to help me. I don’t worry about what motivates other people, but I do worry about what motivates me and be clear to myself and others of my motives. Other people motives are of their concern, not mine, but I hope whatever their motives are they do get to fulfill them and learn and grow from the experience of working with me.
Wish me luck and strength because psychologically I am trying to climb a big mountain, bigger than Mount Everest! That is going to test me psychologically at every level!

Thank you for thinking of me and take good care of yourself,
Sylvie


Dear Sylvie, your latest mail vibrates from pure strength, power, and consciousness within you. I totally agree, that what you do is least as challenging as climbing Mount Everest. You step above the "sick cultural taboo" which had last for centuries and kept people unconscious. Every word you wrote is sincere and honest, essential and thoughtful. I like to read about your "plans" if things won't work out...whatever it will be. If your dreams are calm, there should be no big danger ahead; this is what I think about it. I wish you the very best luck one ever can have, believe me.  With "love" from J

Dear J,


Thank you for writing and for your very encouraging words. I will keep you posted on my temp to climbing to the very top of the biggest mountain ever! When I was 9 or ten years old that I noticed it humanity was so lost that I wished I could get on the highest top ever and scream really loud to humanity and tell them to stop what they were doing because it hurts children and animals! Well, I guess by writing my book I am trying to get to the highest point on earth and scream to people that they are on the path to destruction if they don’t stop what they are doing and change course!