I also see the hypocrisy when it comes to conservative Christians and Catholics. Since they believe that people are born evil, it's funny how they called potential people "innocent", but once they are born, they are suddenly labeled "evil" and are punished in horrible ways to have this "innate evil" driven out of them and these poor children grow up to do the same to their own offspring or other scapegoats. This is one of the reasons why I left religion four years ago and lost belief in God in general. A god who bribes you with heaven and punishes you with hell and who basically is a ripoff of older outdated deities is not a god worth believing in.
A few years ago, I thought I would feel guilty if I had an abortion. Now I would feel guilty if I brought a child into the world and couldn't meet his/her needs. I'm relieved that so-called pro-life organizations like this are exposed for their truly harmful agendas."
Posted by Schiavonne on Saturday, June 19, 2010 - 5:06 PM
As Alice Miller says: “…Morality and performance of duty are artificial measures that become necessary when something essential is lacking. The more successfully a person was denied access to his or her feelings in childhood, the larger the arsenal of intellectual weapons and the supply of moral prostheses has to be, because morality and a sense of duty are not sources of strength or fruitful soil for genuine affection. Blood does not flow in artificial limbs; they are for sale and can serve many masters… …The artificial nature of moral laws and rules of behavior is most clearly discernible in a situation in which lies and deception are powerless, i,e., in the mother-child relationship. A sense of duty may not be fruitful soil for love but it undoubtedly is for mutual guilt feelings, and the child will forever be bound to the mother by crippling feelings of guilt and gratitude…”
Also, these words by Alice Miller to one of her readers are so true: “unwanted children are usually mistreated. But there exist as a rule also a huge amount of people who were "wanted" indeed, but only for playing the role of the victims that their parents needed to be able to take revenge on. They were wanted to give their parents what the parents never had gotten from their own parents: love, adoration, attention and so many other things. Otherwise, why would so many people have five or more children when they have no time for them? Why do they adopt children if their body refuses to give them what they apparently "want?"
The never acknowledged, never felt pain of their childhood calls for being avenged. They go to church, they pray, they honor their parents, forgive them everything – and they mistreat their children at home, often in a very cruel way, AS IF THIS WERE THE MOST NATURAL THING, because they learned this so early. Their children learn this perverted behavior, also very early, and will later do the same; and so this perverse behavior continues for millennia. Unless people are willing to SEE the perversion of their parents and are ready to consciously refuse to imitate it.
You are not being "sickeningly sarcastic," you only dared to speak out the truth that most people are afraid of seeing or talking about."
The thing some men (not all, of course) fail to understand, is that men already have complete control over their own bodies on a legal and social level. Is that to say men are never abused? Not all. But if one is willing to look at the facts and admit male privilege exists, it is clear that women are systematically controlled by legal and social spheres, and are still fighting for their autonomy and their right to decide what happens to their own damn bodies.
Do we, as a society, attempt to control what men do with their sperm through legislation? No. Why should society and the government control what women do with their uteri?
Why someone didn’t choose abortion can be so many, maybe the young woman never felt loved by anyone and fall into the illusion having a baby will guaranty she will have someone, at last, that will love her once and for all or the pressure of family, society, and religion or the unconscious desire to create a new being to use as scapegoat or poisonous container for repress effect. This quote by Alice Miller comes to mind: “The need to split off the disquieting parts of the inner self and project them onto an available object. The child’s great plasticity flexibility, defenselessness, and availability made it the ideal object for this projection. The enemy within can, at last, be hunted down on the outside. Peace advocates are becoming increasingly aware of the role played by these mechanisms, but until it is clearly recognized that they can be traced back to methods of child raising, little can be done to oppose them. For children who have grown up being assailed for qualities, the parents hate in themselves can hardly wait to assign these qualities to someone else so they can once again regard themselves as good, “moral,” noble, and altruistic. Such projections can easily become part of any Weltanschauung.” Alice Miller
Feeling the repressed anger of the child we once were at our mother is the most difficult anger to feel, because we are high wired to love our mothers no matter what and feeling our anger towards our mothers causes us to feel guilty and the pressures of society that idealizes mothers don’t help either and most men unconscious take revenge on all women for the wounds suffered when they were defenseless little children at the hands of their own mothers and women unconsciously hate all other men and most women and men are stuck in their hate and don’t realize that are making each other scapegoats. Anger can never be resolved when directed at scapegoats, it only can be resolved when felt and understood within the context of our own childhood.