Sunday, July 24, 2016

Science is on my Side

I just saw the article below online about trauma being passed down through our genes. Just proves what I already know and shows adoption or children artificially conceived with a donor is fxxked up, because every child has the birthright to know their genetic makeup and not be cut off from it. 
Adoption is not the fairy tale society wants you to believe

Children’s anger for being brought to these fxxked situations and for being cut off from their own genetic makeup is very much justified, even if they can’t put their finger on it, where the roots of their anger come from and can’t articulate it. They need an enlightened witness to help them see, feel and understand the roots of their anger and help them articulate their feelings, so they can heal and break the chains of compulsions repetition. As long unresolved trauma remain in the dark or in the unconscious will keep festering and contribute to the chaos we witness in the world. 

These words by Alice Miller from her book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence on Mary Bell come to mind: "Psychotherapeutic treatment is not inexpensive and is often criticized on these grounds. But is it less expensive to lock up an eleven-year-old child for the rest of her life? And what good will that do? A child who has been mistreated at such an early age must be able to tell in some way or other about the wrong that has been done her, about the [psyche] murder perpetrated on her. If she has no one, she will not find the language for it and can tell it only by doing what was done to her. This awakens our horror. But the horror should be directed at the first [psyche] murder, which was committed in secret and has gone unpunished. Then we might be able to help the child to experience her story on a conscious level so that she will no longer have to tell it by means of disastrous enactments."
Also, the words below by Alice Miller come to mind:
"Children who are lectured to, learn how to lecture; if they are admonished, they learn how to admonish; if scolded, they learn how to scold; if ridiculed, they learn how to ridicule; if humiliated, they learn how to humiliate; if their psyche is killed, they will learn how to kill--the only question is who will be killed: oneself, others, or both." -- Alice Miller
above excerpt from Pedagogy Fills the Needs of Parents, Not of Children



“Biological Secrets
Melissa began cutting herself as a teenager. When she was 14, she literally carved the words“FAT PIG” into her inner thigh. As the story unraveled, it turned out that Melissa was adopted, but was not told this until she was 21. She went to visit her biological mother and learned that she had been raped when she was 14 (the same age that Melissa had carved the words ‘fat pig’ into her thigh), and this is how she had been conceived.
“She visits her biological mother and she finds out that her mother, at exactly the same age, was raped. When Melissa came to me, she was 27 and had been cutting her body for 13 years. I asked her: ‘Fat pig, what is fat pig?’ And she says: ‘A fat pig is someone who takes something that isn’t his.’ She used the pronoun ‘his’, but she had never made the connection, and of course, she didn’t know why she cut herself. Yet, her trauma language was etched into her body.
In some cases involving self-injury, explains Wolynn, “There’s can be a perpetrator and a victim in the family history that no one talks about, and a trauma that hasn’t been resolved. It’s very dual: bad and good. The victim-perpetrator experience gets expressed in the behavior of the self-injurer. In a single action, she perpetrates on herself, and at the same time, she is victimized by herself. When Melissa carved FAT PIG on the sexual part of her leg, she was carving the action of the rape of a mother she never knew she had. She was enacting it as if it were her thigh that the rapist was on.” After working with Wolynn, Melissa stopped cutting.

Nonduality and Trauma


“When we uncover this trauma language and make the link, we can have more peace. If the light never shines on this language and never shines on this link, the trauma can stay embedded in our experience as ‘ours,’ and that’s the problem,” explains Wolynn, who believes that trauma, as suppressed experience, has a charge of energy that seeks release, if not through the body of the victim, then through the bodies of the children in future generations. “The energy of a trauma doesn’t dissipate by itself,” he explains. “It doesn’t stay boxed up.”
Trauma is literally alive in our DNA, often from conception. “Traumatic events can be stored and passed on biologically to the next generation. Along with these traumatic residues, a new skill set can also be passed forward, ensuring that the next generation will be more prepared to manage similar traumas. But problems can result when we’re walking around reacting to traumas that haven’t happened to us directly but live on in our genes.
“To heal these imprints,” says Wolynn, “we often need to have an experience powerful enough to override the old trauma response, and then we need to practice the new feelings of this experience.” By doing so, we pull traction away from the highly efficient trauma cycle that keeps us in a state of suffering and engage other areas of the brain—specifically our prefrontal cortex—so that new neural pathways are created and our brains can change.

The Hero’s Journey

For Mark Wolynn, inherited trauma is not a rare occurrence linked only to exceptional events,“Many of us carry some aspect of unresolved trauma from the past, yet we rarely think to connect our depression or anxiety or physical symptoms to the events of the previous generation. Instead, we tell ourselves: ‘That’s just the way it is. That’s the way I’m wired.’ People could live freer lives if they just explored their family history. The healing of inherited trauma is a service,” says Wolynn, “not only to ourselves but to our ancestors and to our children.
On a higher level, I believe these traumas are important because they lead us on a hero’s journey. We enter the path through introspection, through looking at what’s uncomfortable, by being able to tolerate what’s uncomfortable, and then by journeying into what’s uncomfortable and emerging on the other side in a more expansive place, using what was contracting us as the source of our expansion. Many of us don’t realize that the trauma we are born to heal is also the seed of our expansion.”

If you like to read the full article click on the link below:

Comments from the sharing of this blog on Facebook:

Monica Chelagat I brushed through the links on inherited trauma. Though it makes sense, I think Alice Miller made the concept of trauma and healing much simpler. It is normal that an unhealed parent will be anxious and this anxiety may affect the children.

Sylvie Imelda Shene I agree with you, Monica. I have not seen anyone put it better than Alice Miller. But I do like the title of his book It Didn’t Start with You. Because since I was a little girl I could feel that it didn’t start with me and hated it being blamed as a child for everything that was wrong in the family! I knew I had inherited my father and mother’s traumas. I also used to say to myself that the pain would stop with me. And this is what I am most proud of in my life that I resolved these traumas and didn’t pass it into anyone else. It stopped in me!Monica Chelagat I do not like the 'inherited'. You were a victim if both passive and active abuse. They were the way they were because of their unresolved trauma. To be certain you are trauma-free is one's reaction to their own children at all phases of their lives to adulthood.
 Inheritance means you have no control but automatically in the DNA. Alice was not in agreement on genetically inherited violence or mental disturbances. I agree with her on this.

Sylvie Imelda Shene Me too I agree with Alice Miller 100% that violence is learned, but if these traumas go unresolved for many generations, it will start being imprinted in our DNA, but we can start on a path to healing and change these DNA imprints, otherwise evil will be born anew with each new generation!

"Evil is born anew with every new generation
In the Middle Ages, there was a widespread belief in “changelings.” The term referred to children of the devil smuggled into ordinary, well-meaning mothers’ cradles in exchange for the babies they had actually brought into the world. Though there is no indication whom the devil is supposed to have sired these wicked, diabolical children on, or what he did with the good ones he spirited away, the fact is that mothers of so-called changelings were instructed to bring those children up with especial strictness, meaning that they should beat them black and blue at the slightest sign of recalcitrance as this was the only hope of molding them into human beings worthy of the name. Though we no longer believe in changelings today, the belief in the effectiveness of corporal punishment, the idea that we can “beat some sense” into rebellious children, appears to be unshakable in the minds of most people. Even Sigmund Freud believed that a sadist takes pleasure in tormenting others because he has been unable to adequately sublimate the death instinct we are allegedly all born with. Genetics provides an “updated” version of the idea of innate evil. It is frequently asserted that there are genes that drive some people to commit evil deeds even if they have had “lots of love” in their childhood. I have yet to come across such an individual. All the childhood histories of serial killers and dictators I have examined showed them without exception to have been the victims of extreme cruelty, although they themselves steadfastly denied this. And in this, they are not alone. Large sections of society are apparently determined either to deny or to ignore these facts. Taken to its logical conclusion, this genetic theory ought to be able to explain why, 30 years before the advent of the Third Reich, Germany should have brought forth millions of children whose genetic makeup was so badly contaminated that in adulthood they were ready and willing to lend themselves to Hitler’s atrocities without turning a hair. Why has there never been such an accumulation of rogue genes in Germany before or since? It is a question I have asked repeatedly and I have never received an answer. The reason is simple. There is no answer. Hitler’s henchmen were victims of their upbringing. They belonged to a generation of children who had been exposed to brutal physical correction and humiliation and who later vented their pent-up feelings of anger and helpless rage on innocent victims. Safe in the knowledge that they were doing so with the Führer’s blessing, they were finally able to give free rein to those feelings without risk of punishment. Today children are brought up very differently in Germany. But wherever cruelty and humiliation still plays a part in parenting, those methods are faithfully reflected in the behavior of young people denying the pain of the humiliation they have been through, selecting and attacking scapegoats, and advancing harebrained ideological reasons for their depredations. The gene theory is just as incapable of explaining evil as the changeling legend or the death instinct. According to statistical surveys (see Olivier Maurel, La Fessée, La Plage, 2001) 90% of the people alive today believe that children need a “good” smacking from time to time if anything is to come of them. The truth is very different, and it is high time we faced up to it. Evil exists. But it is not something that some people are born with. It is produced by society, every day, every hour, unceasingly, all over the world. It starts with the treatment meted out to newborn babies and carries on in the parenting methods practiced on small children. Such children may BECOME criminal at a later stage if they have no helping witness to turn to. In their childhood years, serial killers and dictators all have one thing in common: they had no such witnesses to turn to for help."
Read more here
“…today we know too much about the lingering effects of violence against children to silently tolerate this lack of information. We should know that the whole society will pay the price for our blindness. A government of a civilized country can no longer ignore this knowledge. You can’t claim the right to play with nuclear weapons on your territories, only because they belong to you. The society’s interests go before your pleasure and your habits. The government must defend these interests. To call it thus “totalitarian” makes so little sense as to insult the fire brigade in a burning house.
Look around: When children are small some parents reclaim the sacrosanct “right to them” like to a property. But as soon as they become violent or drug addicted and then emotionally inaccessible these parents are eager to grant their rights to society. The children are no longer “our” children, protected in the sacrosanct family, they become “social cases” and the anonymous taxis-payers will have to pay for the prisons and hospitals these once so eagerly disciplined teenagers will need."