The trauma of separation and adoption is real, but of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, if the adoptive parents are conscious of the traumas and the loss their adoptive child suffered, they can help their adoptive child heal these traumas. But this happens very seldom and that's a risk i would never take of carrying a pregnancy to term and give birth to a new being to give up for adoption. Because it's like playing Russian roulette with the lives of defenseless little babies and children.
These words by Alice are so true: “You are right, unwanted children are usually mistreated. But there exist as a rule also a huge amount of people who were "wanted" indeed, but only for playing the role of the victims that their parents needed to be able to take revenge on. They were wanted to give their parents what the parents never had gotten from their own parents: love, adoration, attention and so many other things. Otherwise, why would so many people have five or more children when they have no time for them? Why do they adopt children if their body refuses to give them what they apparently "want?”
The never acknowledged, never felt pain of their childhood calls for being avenged. They go to church, they pray, they honor their parents, forgive them everything – and they mistreat their children at home, often in a very cruel way, AS IF THIS WERE THE MOST NATURAL THING, because they learned this so early. Their children learn this perverted behavior, also very early, and will later do the same; and so this perverse behavior continues for millennia. Unless people are willing to SEE the perversion of their parents and are ready to consciously refuse to imitate it.
You are not being "sickeningly sarcastic," you only dared to speak out the truth that most people are afraid of seeing or talking about.”
I also could not agree more with Alice Miller's words below:
The misled brain and the banned emotions
© 2015 Alice Miller