This blog is about learning to understand all of our feelings and learning to consciously face, feel and experience all of our feelings within the context of our own childhood.
Everything we become and happens to us is connected to childhood. Not every victim becomes an abuser, but every abuser was once a victim of abuse and no matter what anyone says these are facts. Violence is not genetic, it’s learned.
Please visit my website for more information
Donald Trump and his supporters suffer from unresolved deep-seated traumas that have been passed down from generation to generation.
A, I hope you read the whole article in the link above. These are the reason I was persecuted at my job of nine of half years after I publish my book. My book is a mirror and they didn’t like their own reflections and they rather destroy me than look in the mirror and take responsibility for their own childhood repression. It sadness me beyond words that after working with me and with the evidence of what happened to me at Sxxxxxxxr -- you still blind to these psychological mechanisms and let the dead hand of your own repression to vote into power, to the highest office of the land, a very wounded man that has develop into a full-blown psychopath or sociopath, in order to avoid to look in the mirror and face your own childhood repression. Like it says in the article it must shift, in one way or another, but I was hoping would shift in a peaceful way with the help of my book together with Alice Miller’s books and not with the devastation and destruction that Donald Trump will most likely take us, and of course the most vulnerable will have to pay the highest price of all. Donald Trump is going to traumatize others in the same way he was traumatized as a child and like my childhoods abusers and the sociopaths at Sxxxxxxxr tried to do to me. See dictators
“According to biographers, Trump’s father was a workaholic, a ruthless, cold and authoritarian man who believed life is a competition where the “killers” win.” He passed his public bigotry and trauma on to Donald, who was such a trouble-maker that his father sent him off to military boarding school. We don’t usually have to dig too far to glean that it’s likely the unruly child has been damaged, unconsciously to be sure, by the family. How many of us unwittingly pass off our trauma to our children, then deny it, then leave the confused child to try to figure it out, foreshadowing the seemingly inexorable continuation of generational betrayal and trauma. …
(By voting for Trump you are showing me that as a small child you had an authoritarian father, that remain repressed in you, and now with your vote, you help elect into power an authoritarian father figure to rule over others the same way your father ruled over you.)
“Our avoidance in tackling our traumas is totally understandable. We are afraid to look in the mirror because of what we will see. It’s painful. Between the latent historical traumas and our personal childhood trauma, which so many of us have, we find ourselves at a tipping point. This state of affairs can no longer be endured. One way or another, it must shift.
Enter: Donald Trump, an extreme manifestation of our collective neglected trauma screaming for attention, desperate for acceptance, yet perpetually rejected. It’s not on purpose. It’s too painful to engage with, so we distract ourselves to avoid the truth that has become patently obvious: America, the world, is sick, the severity of the condition represented by President-elect Trump.
Whether you voted for him or not, his is the prevailing energy at the fore at this point in time. And everyone has a piece of it because nothing happens without the tacit/active approval of the people. At the extremes, which have become increasingly normalized, some of us hate along with Mr. Trump, and others just hate Mr. Trump. In the end, beneath the veneer, there is little difference between the two positions.
…The result of this profound, historic imbalance between the masculine and the feminine is a fearful, abusive, violent, misogynistic, racist, pornographic culture that has relegated community, compassion and empathy to sideshow status, leaving in its wake a traumatized and confused culture that escapes and survives via its cornucopia of addictions that have become normalized. …
… let’s try sending the President-elect some good vibes. Throw him a bone. He needs it badly. So do we all.”
I agree with everything written in this article, but I don’t agree with the last sentence. Sending good vibes and throwing him a bone will not stop him from destroying himself and many in the process. Just like I wrote in a text to my BF “Donald Trump is going to do to America and the whole world what the sociopaths in Sxxxxxxxr did to me. It's heartbreaking that some people after working with me and seeing what i went through at Sxxxxxxxr still are emotionally blind and driven by the dead hand of their own repression to vote for a very damaged man like Donald Trump. I agree with everything written in the article. I only disagree with the very end. Because once we give power to a lunatic like America people have given to this lunatic of Donald Trump, they will not give up power without their own destruction and the destruction of many. Throwing him a bone will not stop him NOW from destroying himself and many in the process. Just look into history how every dictator ended.”
In this last sentence shows me the author still blind by repressed emotions of the child he once was and still has the illusion that with good vibes, love and throw a full-blown psychopath a bone we can make things better. The only way we can prevent future damage is by preventing giving power to people that their souls have been murder in childhood in the first place because once they gain power, they don’t give it up without destroying themselves and many in the process.
You wrote in a past e-mail "I trust that when you had an abortion you were making the best decision for yourself. I respect your choice and it’s really none of my business what anyone does or doesn’t do with their bodies or their lives. I’m really not anti-abortion, and I definitely agree with you that every child that’s born should be protected and loved."
With your vote you are not respecting my decision, otherwise you would never vote for a man that wants to punish women for having abortions and want to pass laws to restrict women's access to having an abortion. And if you agreed with me that every child should be protected and loved than you would be voting for politicians that will make it easy for women not ready to have a child to access birth control and abortion. Again with your vote you tell me different.
Merry official Christmas
Hope you're having a nice day!
Sylvie: Thank you! I hope you too are having a nice day!
I'm working, besides guests visiting family, it's pretty quiet! I'm reading the article you sent me! That article does sum it up pretty good. Thank you for sending it.
Says a lot of the things that you and Alice Miller say and I bet you thought I don't pay attention LOL
Sylvie: Where did you find that article?! You have no idea how much you made my day to see that you pay attention and truly understand these psychological mechanisms. Having someone in my life that understands me is the best Christmas gift I could ever have. Thank you!
It's inspiring me to write a blog. Because of people afraid to look in the mirror that's why I was targeted by a mob of sociopaths at my work because my book is a mirror and they didn't like their own reflections. They rather destroy me than take responsibility for their own childhood repression. And financially they did put me in a real bind, but as long I have health my finances will eventually recovery sooner or later. Seeing this scenario being played on a grand scale in the stage of the world is breaking my heart.
Donald Trump is going to do to America and the whole world what the sociopaths in Sxxxpxxxr did to me. It's heartbreaking that some people after working with me and seeing what I went through at Sxxxxxxxr still emotionally blind and driven by the dead hand of their own repression to vote for a very damaged man like Donald Trump. I agree with everything written in the article. I only disagree with the very end. Because once we give power to a lunatic like America people have given to this lunatic of Donald Trump, they will not give up power without their own destruction and the destruction of many. Throwing him a bone will not stop him now from destroying himself and many in the process. Just look into history how every dictator ended.
These words by Alice Miller go right to the heart! "Kafka was hardly aware of the fact that the main sources of his imagination were deeply hidden in his early childhood. Most writers aren't. But the amnesia of an artist or writer, though sometimes a burden for their body, doesn't have any negative consequences for society. The readers simply admire the work and are rarely interested in the writers' infancy. However, the amnesia of politicians or leaders of sects does afflict countless people, and will continue to do so, as long as society remains blind to the important connections between the denial of traumatic experiences in early childhood and the destructive, criminal actions of individuals.” Read more here
Diagnosing the president was off-limits to experts – until a textbook case entered the White House
The most current iteration of the DSM classifies narcissistic personality disorder as: "A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts." A diagnosis would also require five or more of the following traits:
1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., "Nobody builds walls better than me"; "There's nobody that respects women more than I do"; "There's nobody who's done so much for equality as I have"). 2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love ("I alone can fix it"; "It's very hard for them to attack me on looks, because I'm so good-looking"). 3. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions ("Part of the beauty of me is that I'm very rich"). 4. Requires excessive admiration ("They said it was the biggest standing ovation since Peyton Manning had won the Super Bowl"). 5. Has a sense of entitlement ("When you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy"). 6. Is interpersonally exploitative (see above). 7. Lacks empathy, is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others ("He's not a war hero . . . he was captured. I like people that weren't captured"). 8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her ("I'm the president, and you're not"). 9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes ("I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters").
NPD was first introduced as a personality disorder by the DSM in 1980 and affects up to six percent of the U.S. population. It is not a mood state but rather an ingrained set of traits, a programming of the brain that is thought to arise in childhood as a result of parenting that either puts a child on a pedestal and superficially inflates the ego or, conversely, withholds approval and requires the child to single-handedly build up his or her own ego to survive. Either way, this impedes the development of a realistic sense of self and instead fosters a "false self," a grandiose narrative of one's own importance that needs constant support and affirmation – or "narcissistic supply" – to ward off an otherwise prevailing sense of emptiness. Of all personality disorders, NPD is among the least responsive to treatment for the obvious reason that narcissists typically do not, or cannot, admit that they are flawed.
Trump's childhood seems to suggest a history of "pedestal" parenting. "You are a king," Fred Trump told his middle child, while also teaching him that the world was an unforgiving place and that it was important to "be a killer." Trump apparently got the message: He reportedly threw rocks at a neighbor's baby and bragged about punching a music teacher in the face. Other kids from his well- heeled Queens neighborhood of Jamaica Estates were forbidden from playing with him, and in school he got detention so often that it was nicknamed "DT," for "Donny Trump." When his father found his collection of switchblades, he sent Donald upstate to New York Military Academy, where he could be controlled while also remaining aggressively alpha male. "I think his father would have fit the category [of narcissistic]," says Michael D'Antonio, author of The Truth About Trump. "I think his mother probably would have. And I even think his paternal grandfather did as well. These are very driven, very ambitious people." Read more here
If you like to read more about my experience with a mob of sociopaths also read my blog post Experienced Knowledge
The propaganda or fake news spread by the established media is the most damaging. Most people in the established media are like vultures, just like I wrote in response to someone’s comment in the open letter to the media: “Thank you, Jekaterina. Connected stories like mine need to be told, but sadly most people in the media are only interested in disconnected stories of victims without resolution they can exploit for pure sensationalism, they are like vultures. And they feel threatened by connected stories like mine because stories like mine make people look in the mirror to question themselves, their own parents and people in power position standing in symbolizing their parents. AND WHO WANTS TO DO THAT? Most people are still scared little children afraid of being punished if they dare to speak the naked truth and expose the real state of affairs.” If you like to read more about my experience with a mob of sociopaths also read my blog post Experienced Knowledge
Sylvie Imelda SheneThis is not good for working people, no one should suffer discrimination and emotional harassment in the workplace like I suffered at my job of nine and half years after I published my book. With this administration things just going to get worse. "I think what is really concerning a lot of career individuals is some of the behavior that was exhibited on the campaign trail. What many of them are bringing to my attention and what they’re fearful of is some of that behavior being acceptable in the workplace. So there’s a lot of concern about that. Q: What sort of behavior? Sexual harassment. Sexual misconduct. Discrimination." Trump to inherit more than 100 court vacancies, plans to reshape judiciary Sylvie Imelda SheneVulnerable women are always the ones to be the most discriminated against and get the short end of the stick. Of course abortion restrictions to control vulnerable young women will have to be on their agenda under the disguise of wanting to protect unborn life, but don't give a shit about the life already born right in front of them "State gun control laws, abortion restrictions, voter laws, anti-discrimination measures and immigrant issues are all matters that are increasingly heard by federal judges and will be influenced by the new composition of the courts. Trump has vowed to choose ideologues in the mold of the late Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia, a conservative icon — a prospect that has activists on the right giddy."
If you like to read more about my experience with a mob of sociopaths also read my blog post Experienced Knowledge
Sylvie Imelda SheneYes, it feels very sad and frustrating that this person I have been closed friends with for the last five years, still chooses to keep his eyes closed and doesn't want to see, because is too painful to face his own personal truth and rather go on living the facade and unconsciously with his vote doesn't realize that is supporting and electing into power to the highest office of the land oppressors like the ones of my childhood and the ones at my job of nine and half years that were hoping with their lies and mind games to see me dead, in a mental hospital or jail.
He is living proof of these words Alice Miller wrote in her book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in child-rearing and the Roosts of Violence page 42 and 43 "Just as in the symbiosis of the "diaper stage," there is no separation here of subject and object. If the child learns to view corporal punishment as "a necessary measure" against "wrongdoers," then as an adult he will attempt to protect himself from punishment by being obedient and will not hesitate to cooperate with the penal system. In a totalitarian state, which is a mirror of his upbringing, this citizen can also carry out any form of torture or persecution without having a guilty conscience. His "will" is completely identical with that of the government.
Now that we have seen how easy it is for intellectuals in a dictatorship to be corrupted, it would be a vestige of aristocratic snobbery to think that only "the uneducated masses" are susceptible to propaganda. Both Hitler and Stalin had a surprisingly large number of enthusiastic followers among intellectuals. Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self. Indeed, intelligence is capable of innumerable rationalizations when it comes to the matter of adaptation. Educators have always known this and have exploited it for their own purposes, as the following proverb suggests: "The clever person gives in, the stupid one balks." For example, we read in a work on child raising by Grünwald (1899): "I have never yet found willfulness in an intellectually advanced or exceptionally gifted child" (quoted in Rutschky). Such a child can, in later life, exhibit extraordinary acuity in criticizing the ideologies of his opponents--and in puberty even the views by his own parents-- because in these cases his intellectual powers can function without impairment. Only within a group--such as one consisting of adherents of an ideology or a theoretical school--that represents the early family situation will this person on occasion still display a naïve submissiveness and uncritical attitude that completely belie his brilliance in other situations. Here, tragically, his early dependence upon tyrannical parents is preserved, a dependence that--in keeping with the program of "poisonous pedagogy"--goes undetected. This explains why Martin Heidegger, for example, who had no trouble in breaking with traditional philosophy and leaving behind the teachers of his adolescence, was not able to see the contradictions in Hitler's ideology that should have been obvious to someone of his intelligence. He responded to this ideology with an infantile fascination and devotion that brooked no criticism.”
Sylvie Imelda SheneThey don't want to know, even with the facts in front of them, they choose to put the blinds on and don't care who gets hurt and what happens to others, as long they can keep living in their own little bubbles and go on with their illusions as usual, that's what being conservative is! In one word Selfish.
Sally DiNovo ·No. Shannon they don't. They make excuses for everything he does and keep saying, he's not even in power yet, give him a chance. A chance to ruin our Country? Or perhaps a chance to renege on every promise he made. He's not going to "lock her up", he's not going to "drain the swamp", he's taking a closer look at climate change, he might not do anything about Obamacare. Now, the media is saying he might be more left than we thought. I certainly don't see that with those he chose for his Cabinet, but if he is then the jokes on all those who voted for him.
Sylvie Imelda SheneYes, they come up with all kind of excuses for everything he does and says. I remember telling my friend over coffee how offended I was about Trump saying he grabs women by the pussy and his excuse was that he said that a long time ago! Like time alone, would change a narcissist/sociopath!
The more intelligent, talented and smart a person is, the more clever and elaborated rationalizations they come up with to justify it all, Just like Alice Miller says: "Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self. Indeed, intelligence is capable of innumerable rationalizations when it comes to the matter of adaptation." Read more here
Shannon HeimburgI don't know any Republicans. I just encountered one on Facebook the other day. Now I know they're racist and sexist, so you're not going to get anywhere with that. So I asked them what they think about Rex Tillerson and his ties with oil and Russia. One guy said "I'm a soldier that hates war." I asked him what that meant. No reply. He also said something about owning guns. I said no one is trying to take your guns away. Then he said that, yes, they are trying to take away people's guns but that I had been brainwashed by the liberal media to not believe it. Uh, maybe because there's no evidence? Then he said that I had misunderstood him, because HE never said anything about buying Russian oil. What? So I girl-splained to him that I was talking about the fact that Rex Tillerson wanted to extract oil in Russia as the CEO of Exxon but that US sanctions against Russia had prevented him from doing it, and now Trump has appointed Tillerson SOS and is looking into lifting the sanctions against Russia. No response.
Shannon HeimburgIf I'm going to base my judgment on this one guy, I'd say they don't know anything that's going on.
He is who he is. There is no getting better, or learning, or adapting. He’s not going to “rise to the occasion” for more than maybe a couple hours. So just put that out of your mind.
2) He will say whatever feels most comfortable or good to him at any given time.
He will lie a lot, and say totally different things to different people. Stop being surprised by this. While it’s important to pretend “good faith” and remind him of promises, as Bernie Sanders and others are doing, that’s for his supporters, so *they* can see the inconsistency as it comes. He won’t care. So if you’re trying to reconcile or analyze his words, don’t. It’s 100% not worth your time. Only pay attention to and address his actions.
3) You can influence him by making him feel good
There are already people like Bannon who appear ready to use him for their own ends. The GOP is excited to try. Watch them, not him. President Obama, in his wisdom, may be treating him well in hopes of influencing him and averting the worst. If he gets enough accolades for better behavior, he might continue to try it. But don’t count on it.
4) Entitlement is a key aspect of the disorder.
As we are already seeing, he will likely not observe traditional boundaries of the office. He has already stated that rules don’t apply to him. This particular attribute has huge implications for the presidency and it will be important for everyone who can to hold him to the same standards as previous presidents.
5) We should expect that he only cares about himself and those he views as extensions of himself, like his children.
People with NPD often can’t understand others as fully human or distinct.
He desires accumulation of wealth and power because it fills a hole. He will have no qualms *at all* about stealing everything he can and he’ll be happy to help others do so, if they make him feel good. He won’t view it as stealing but rather as something he’s entitled to do. This is likely the only thing he will intentionally accomplish.
6) It’s very, very confusing for non-disordered people to experience a disordered person with NPD.
While often intelligent, charismatic and charming, they do not reliably observe social conventions or demonstrate basic human empathy. It’s very common for non-disordered people to lower their own expectations and try to normalize the behavior. DO NOT DO THIS AND DO NOT ALLOW OTHERS, ESPECIALLY THE MEDIA, TO DO THIS. If you start to feel foggy or unclear about this, step away until you recalibrate.
7) People with NPD often recruit helpers, referred to in the literature as “enablers”
Called "enablers" when they allow or cover for bad behavior. “Flying monkeys” when they perpetrate bad behavior on behalf of the narcissist. Although it’s easiest to prey on malicious people, good and vulnerable people can be unwittingly recruited. It will be important to support good people around him if and when they attempt to stay clear or break away.
8) People with NPD often foster competition for sport in people they control.
Expect lots of chaos, firings and recriminations. He will probably behave worst toward those closest to him, but that doesn’t mean (obviously) that his actions won’t have consequences for the rest of us. He will punish enemies. He may start out, as he has with the NYT, with a confusing combination of punishing/rewarding, which is a classic abuse tactic for control. If you see your media cooperating or facilitating this behavior for rewards, call them on it.
9) Gaslighting is real and torturous.
Gaslighting : where someone tries to convince you that the reality you’ve experienced isn’t true .
He will gaslight, his followers will gaslight. Many of our politicians and media figures already gaslight, so it will be hard to distinguish his amplified version from what has already been normalized. Learn the signs and find ways to stay focused on what you know to be true. Note: it is typically not helpful to argue with people who are attempting to gaslight. You will only confuse yourself. Just walk away.
10) Whenever possible, do not focus on the narcissist or give him attention.
Unfortunately we can’t and shouldn’t ignore the president, but don’t circulate his tweets or laugh at him — you are enabling him and getting his word out.
Pay attention to your own emotions: do you sort of enjoy his clowning? do you enjoy the outrage? is this kind of fun and dramatic, in a sick way? You are adding to his energy. Focus on what you can change and how you can resist, where you are.
"We are all called to be leaders now, in the absence of leadership."
What Donald Trump is doing to America, that's exactly what the sociopaths at my job of nine and half years did to me after I publish my book. They wanted to manipulate me to self-destruct, so they could declare me mentally unstable and discredit me and my book, to protect their own false images and go on with their projections, lies, and illusions as usual.
"There are people who sit on the sidelines and watch someone else being whipped. They could step in and demand that it stops. They have the power to do so. What do they do? Nothing. The narcissist depends on these weak-willed people. Abusing people isn't so much fun if it's only a party of two.
Not taking a stand to stop someone being hurt and bullied doesn't absolve you of guilt. On the contrary, you become an active participant, whether you consider yourself one or not. Enablers are guided by self-interest. They choose not to help the victim.
This is why enablers are not innocent. They have made a choice to support abuse." Read more here
The whole America is being gaslighted!
There is no hope for humanity. People that voted for Trump even if you are not an abuser per se with your vote silently you are choosing to support abuse.
"One might ask why the norms of political and presidential behavior don't hold the same kind of power to bring Trump's behavior into line, and I have a couple of possible answers for you.
Number one is that Trump explicitly ran as someone immune to social and political norms. I could not possibly list everything he did in the primary and general election that would've immediately disqualified any other candidate.
But number two is that the Republican party, in general, has spent the last eight years deliberately tearing down political norms in order to gain power, and have now clearly reached the conclusion that in any choice between upholding norms and increasing their power, they choose power. How else can one understand a party that claims to be for greater national security, but is absolutely fine with Russia meddling with our election as long as it helped their candidate? How else to interpret the decision to make the debt ceiling a political football? Or to prevent, for the first time in our nation's history, a sitting president from making a Supreme Court appointment during his term? Or a party which is fighting in North Carolina to overturn every avenue for the exercise of power by the duly elected Democratic governor before he takes office? These examples are all completely unprecedented, and these are just the ones I could list off the top of my head.
And, just as in an abusive relationship, this way of using and overturning norms leaves the victim in a double-bind. In an abusive relationship, the target is stuck with the choice to either comply with the abuser or look like they are the one in the wrong and face the resulting social blowback.
In this political scenario, the opposition party faces the choice of either putting up with the one-sided dissolution of norms and resulting power grab or has the option to join the fight by ignoring and overturning established norms to exercise their own power. The double-bind here is that it is strong institutions and norms that help prevent an autocrat from consolidating power, so overturning more norms, even if it brings temporary power for an opposition party, makes the future more precarious.
I don't have any great wisdom to share here about our way forward out of that double-bind, but I will say that we should be thoughtful about adding to the process of disintegrating our social and political norms and that I believe it is possible to defend them while not falling into Trump's trap. The first step, as with the example from the abusive relationship, is recognizing that it isn't an either/or, despite how the abuser is presenting it. Part of the abuser's manipulation is in making it seem like there are only two bad choices, and that the abuser's choice is the easier one in the moment. If you're able to break out of that framing, you can see the other options that exist." Read more here
If you like to read more about my experience with a mob of sociopaths also read my blog post Experienced Knowledge
The media is like a deer caught in the headlights, they become blind and miss all the important stories...
I have been trying to get the media's attention to a very important story and sometimes I wonder what will take to get the media's attention?! In this case world war III?! Carla F. Ward: The press talked and talked and talked about those emails and nothing else. No other story would sway them from their constant, relentless, endless discussion of the goddamn emails from 4 years ago which were not illegal and did not contain classified information and in fact turned out to be a whole lot of nothing. Meanwhile, they practically ignored Russian interference in our election processes, the unbelievable corruption and venality of Donald Trump, and any number of other truly disturbing stories which they only lightly touched upon, if at all. Suzette Sommer: Well, now the lazy ass Hillary hating press can face the music, with a fascist GOP and a maniacal Trump who would not hesitate to pull a Benghazi style investigation into ANY of them, full on McCarthyism, and throw them to a kangaroo court. Happy NOW that Hillary was your target vs Trump??? Oh, gee whiz, what DID you DO for ratings? Pandered to a madman and the Tea Party. Not smart. How do you like having your press passes under threat? How do you like Trump going to Sinclair and dictating how you will cover his administration? Maybe there will be a renaissance of print media with broadcast totally fucked and publicly sold out. If you like to read more about my experience with a mob of sociopaths also read my blog post Experienced Knowledge
“To psychopaths, non-psychopaths are predictable suckers who can be repeatedly duped. And it’s a fun game for them. Psychopaths know they can’t change, but more importantly, psychopaths believe non-psychopaths can’t change either.” Read more here
The psychopaths/sociopaths belief that non-psychopaths, just like them, can’t change either, that’s what made the sociopaths/psychopaths at my job of nine and half years confident that they could discredit me and my book by manipulating me to self-destruct with their very well methodical orchestrated smear campaign and mind games. They had never before encountered someone like me, they didn’t believe what I wrote in my book was true, that I truly had resolved my childhood repression and therefore I could see clearly the traps they were putting in front of me to trap me and that I could not be manipulated with their lies and mind games to hurt myself, others or both.
If you like to read more about my experience with a mob of sociopaths also read my blog post Experienced Knowledge
Yes, always will be poor people as long poor people remain blind that they are only fulfilling a need rich people have for poor people. Have anyone notice it that every sect out there, even the most exploitative ones, they all have charities to help the poor! They are helping themselves by giving the illusion they care about the poor to fool the public! It’s all about image, how would they create a good image for themselves without poor people. Wake up, people!!!
Anja GustafssonYou are such a wise person! Of course, poverty is needed by the rich!
Sylvie Imelda SheneI could see this so clear since I was a little girl that I never accepted help for any church or any charity institutions! If I could not make it on my own, I would rather die than give the satisfaction to these hypocrites to exploit my moment in need to feed their egos and brainwash me. I have been saying it forever the "helpers" are helping themselves by covertly contributing to the creation of poor people for later to exploit and give the illusion of helping poor people.
Hi Sylvie! I finally have the time and head space to write this morning. Today marks the end of another crazy month. Crazy world. Crazy life. It's so challenging to maintain focus and keep looking ahead as you know but we're doing it.
I must say that the world as we knew it is gone for good. I believe that we haven't seen anything yet as far as crazy goes and I am glad to be stronger emotionally than I was before to deal with it all.
From a distance, here in Canada, people think that the US election and all that came with it has nothing to do with our country. As if the US is isolated from the rest of the world. We do have different policies but we are directly connected and what most Canadians take for granted could be jeopardized in the future. It's really hard for me to believe that Trump is on his way to full presidency in January.
I have friends who voted for him in Florida. People whom I thought were way more advanced than they really are in this light of day. I know why they voted for him but although I don't wish to discredit or eliminate them from my life, I feel somewhat betrayed. Hypocrisy and two-faced beings are very difficult to accept for me now that I have a pretty clean slate. Once we clean the garbage, see the lies, clear illusions and face our truth as ugly, sad, confusing, painful and puzzling as it is. Once we own it and work really hard to pull ourselves out it is almost impossible to accept others bullshit. I know you've become an expert and you actively express your anger and are not afraid of speaking out loud and I admire your courage for doing so. I'm still working on understanding and finding ways to navigate myself.
Since my last email message I am out of the roller coaster but still feel fragile and unsteady on my feet. As if a ‘’faux pas’’ would send me back down. I don't repress the emotions, the tears the pain. I welcome it all and whenever I think back and look at the road I've traveled I feel that a whole lot has been understood, the dots have been connected to my childhood and teen years and I can recognize the dangers and the vicious circle as they show up in this reality. I feel free and grateful for having the courage and the will to face it all. It was a hell of a ride but I would do it all over again knowing how positively transformed I am today. Now and then I tell myself that when life presents me with new opportunities for fresh relationships I will be better equipped and hopefully won't fall for the same kind of illusions and manipulations as before. I am proud to not have children and put other innocent beings through this mess. I have come to the realization that no matter how hard we work at improving ourselves there’s always going to be outside circumstances that will fuck it up and put our safety at risk. I really think that humanity is stuck in a major self-destructive pattern, set on a mission to erase any trace of life. I would like to be hopeful. I used to be. Now I feel more neutral, disappointed and disgusted about it all. Who shines a light are people like you fighting for the big causes. I still have to regain some energy to enter this fight. I trust that time will show the way and the strength will build up again inside. You were so right when you encouraged me to keep going, to be patient, to trust that it will pass and transform. I am so glad to know you Sylvie.
I hope that your own personal life, work, writing, health, love are on the upper hand still and again. I think about you often and always send gratitude and warmth your way. We are entering the Holidays and I feel more into it than last year. I used to really enjoy the anticipation and the spirit of the whole thing except for the last one and I will be more involved this year. Maybe your Christmas will be white in Chicago with your man. I hope you get spoiled and loved more than ever before.
Thanks for being there girl!
Hugs and love from me in Montreal
Thank you for writing. I don’t have much time to write anymore, but I don’t want to let another day slip by without at least writing a quick e-mail.
I agree with you the world as we know it is forever gone. Humanity is in for very dark times. Yes, I feel betrayed by people I know that voted for Trump and I’m very sad that some are pretty close friends.
Congratulations on your new job and for connecting the dots in your life.
Wish you much-continued courage and strength in this s very dark world.