Questioning the family

Me too, like Alice Miller I am doing all I can to make it visible and enlightening parents, so the family institution becomes a safe place for children, because children need a mother and a father. No, we don’t need more nice words and books written by well intentional authors that write feel good books that are just like medications or drugs that makes us feel good temporarily, but disguise the psychological facts of childhood trauma. Like for example just came to mind the book Chicken Soup for the Soul that is a number one best seller! I could use so many other examples, they are endless! People are suckers for feel good words and a lot of people are more than willing to take advantage of this people’s weakness to get rich and make a name for themselves by recycling the same old seductive feel good traditional traps. We need books that helps us deal with the facts and reality.

Questioning the family

“You write: “In the traditional family the children belong to their parents, who have legal power over them. The children are isolated from the rest of society; they have to respect their parents, regardless of what the parents actually do, they have to obey their parents and to be loyal towards them. And the parents, often with the help of the state, can do almost everything to subdue their children; they can use the whole range of physical and mental tortures against their children.”

You certainly are right but why shouldn't we be able to change the patterns of the family instead of rejecting family altogether? And what do you suggest instead of the institution family? A child needs a mother and a father, but of course they don't need the hypocrisy, the abuse, the exploitation and the terror. We must work on enlightening parents so that families become the place of safety, truth, love and honest communication. We can't do this by writing nice words but by informing parents that they disguise the brutality they endured as children by denying it and repeating it carelessly on their children. In this way they protect their parents and produce violent people, again and again. I agree with you that families based on this system are the source of violence in our society and I do what I can to make this visible.” Alice Miller ~ From Rage to Courage, page, 75 and 76

Read more HERE