Thank you for the nicest complement ever!
Congratulations in seeing through the seductive lies of our society.
Best wishes to you too from sunny Arizona
Sylvie
HI Sylvie
Thanks’ for writing back couple of times. Just to say-it
won't mean anything to anyone else and perhaps not anything to you but I ‘am
putting you in my 'hall of fame' list it’s a list that's fairly short and has
someone who has seen through not just 1 but 2 of the bullshit lies out there. The
first is the one that all spiritual travelers see IE other realms etc. but the 2nd
one is being able to see through all those seductive lies. Best Wishes from
Snowy Scotland
G
Hi G,
Thank you for writing. I agree with everything you wrote.
Spirituality, yoga and all other tools society use to manipulate our feelings,
so they don't have to face their own histories and feel the repressed feelings
of the child they once were, is very annoying. I also find it annoying doctors
and other professionals that don't deny childhood traumas and they understand
people's adults problems are caused by childhood traumas. But then they also try to
treat and manipulate their patients repressed feelings of anger, guilt and shame
with the same old tools. All it does is repress people feelings all over again
and as long people go on repressing their feelings with the aid of medication, spirituality,
religion, yoga or whatever else people come up with to manipulate people's feelings,
the compulsion to repeat will go on endless sooner or later in one form or
another and keeps people stuck in childhood either playing the victim/child
role or the perpetrator role posing as father/mother figure over others. If you celebrate the holidays. I wish you a
happy holiday season with good health and peace and best wishes for the New
Year. Sylvie
We've emailed couple times! Just another wee email to say I
enjoy your entries in your blog.
I know you mentioned your thoughts on Mr. Molanyouex and i
understand-personally I do get plenty out of 'some' of his rants. I have to
say-I ‘am also pretty familiar with Gabor Mate's work-however, I know you did
mention once the downside to 'power of now' and mentioned Eckart in your
book-as does many and also Mr. Mate on the earlier link you had up-i just
wanted to say though-I do get very pissed that Eckart Tolle seldom mentions
childhood-i know many people as will you who have done or are doing the whole
meditation yoga presence etc etc etc…mention their childhood and i become
Satan! The world I know is full of endless stories at attempting healing without
childhood and of all the 20 times I’ve bought Alice Miller books and given them
to people it’s alarming but expected that all those 20 i know eventually ended
up with the sentiments of 'oocchhh i don't like going back in time'…then
proceed to talk about spiritual abstractions. I remember once, one of my many well-known
spiritual teachers(recently disgraced over decades of bullying etc)said that
the EGO wants to claim victory for freedom-this was like many functions of
spirituality a way that i then resounded to within me as deep shame. I know
when you say you've found freedom it's a nice softer version and as you said 'balanced’.
I was thinking about it few short weeks ago and well just as of now want recommend
you for finding such a place!
Take Care from Snappy Scotland
GHi G,
I have difficulty using my mail box at my website, so I am
using my yahoo account instead to write you back.
Thank you for writing sharing your story. Your experiences
gives evidence to things I already suspected. I am glad you found my book a
nice read! Thank you for reading it! I am so sorry your mother was a very
damaged woman and unconsciously took revenge on you for the abuse she suffered
as a child, and was not able to be the mother you needed and it has caused you
so much suffering through out your life. This loneliness you are feeling is of
the small child you once were that was all alone in the emotional prison of
your mother, but the adult you are NOW, it’s not really alone you have Alice
Miller’s books and you have me!
I am not a fan of Stefan Molyneux, so I don’t think he will
be asking me for an interview. To me he is a cult leader preaching to the
public with memorized knowledge he took from Alice Miller and others, but he
himself have not had a genuine experience of it. He is a parrot reciting memorized
knowledge that he himself have not fully understood and experienced.
Best of luck to you and write me anytime,
Sylvie
Hi Sylvie
As titled, I’ve just finished you're book recently. A nice
read for sure-and i'am sure first of many people over the coming years to begin
expressing their real life gratitude to Alice Miller Just to pre empt something
here..my grammar (or as old teachers would say) 'could do better'..but hey,a 15
year old high school drop out from a deeply repressedScottish all boys Catholic
school with zero grades must pay some price in the grammar stakes. My story in
very brief part took me only recently IE May2013(nothing odd for us all to
remember our initial finding of an Alice Miller type) I left school and quickly
began dealing/learning all autodidact(self taught)in one of the roughest parts
of Glasgow..i was all alone but being so young in a world populatedby many
males(and a fe women of course) i quickly became the surrogate son to 20-30 men
which was great…all paradoxically my 'competitors' and to varying degree's
enemiesregarding getting an edge in that world…it was all a product of time IE
it was my life like many of the people,but i was that little bit more intense with
it and in a sense free IE to ties We would often joke we'd all do this for free
or even pay to do it which is what gave me the broad smile…i'd had a bit of a
deep trauma at school IE i was always quite the trend setter and image type
but,as with deep seated infant neglect it's only a matter of time till the
random world and inevitable trauma happens..and that it is felt that much more
without the attachment to dearest mother …so i couldn't wait to leave
school(oh,i'd had the slightest of accidents in my ahem underwear which
occasionally happened to many of us but like i said,it was like all my early traumas
had compounded to this stage and for the first time my general 'fight' in the
fight flight response actually formed a hybrid between flight and the next one along…freeze!!literally
i began to have hyper tension and muslce spasms
Anyway,once i joined the world of Antiques it was my new religion..i'd
be out the house 100 hours per week and loved it…the stress was often
unbearable and when i got to 26-27 i came down with ME/CFS …since then i've spent
140k(sterling ££££)on deists therapy's and the old cliche 'you name it'..oh,i
even made it to Sedona AZ for the Sedona Method 3 times(and paying for my
girlfriend and friend..that was 2004-5) I began doing EFT in 2008 with a girl
over the phone once per week …after 5 years she (last March 2013) said she'd
looked into 'trauma' and that EMDR was used for making quicker 'shifts' for
people…..as first i thought the word trauma was used in extreme cases and
wondered how to spell it being so alien to my awareness. Anyway,i proceeded to
find (this time after being to many places in Europe and Usa etc)somewhere
local-ish and lo and behold a therapist on Edinburgh who also worked in Glasgow
where i stay…we then slowly started on what i'am often cringing to say 'my
journey' and when i'd start to say things like 'i'am thinking maybe my childhood
wash;t…..' she'd finish the sentence and nod…and not long before she'd show(i'd
call it professional empathy)She's on occasion be holding the tears back Just
jumping a little…i'd started doing yoga when i was 23-24 which then was still quite
rare in the anachronistic world of Glasgow….then just turning 27 i done a random
session of NLP and had what i'd called (i'd never known anything motherly in a
sense before)a spiritual awakening…i was actually in the womb and felt such
fear was the image(it's funny how our minds can sometimes give us a story
either real or not to begin tracing our truth eh)..sadly,and it's took till
last year to know that the womb was/is the place of deep trauma in my family
but also,the world of new age therapies and healing and such just didm;t really
get the reality of childhood… Not long after i'd started with my current therapist
and like i said she's often fill the missing words or go a step ahead with 'ohhh,a
trap by your mother ' etc I then felt compelled to type 'child abuse' into
google…sadly it's all sensationalized (especially in the land of the BBC with
all the Jimmy Saville stuff recently..)but thankfully i ended up at Alice
Miller site.. Being in antiques i'am often quickly drawn to any accompany
artwork to my interests …and remember thinking what a deep level the painting
had hit me first of!!! I think i was around 1-2 weeks before i'd become used to
the theme of Alice's work IE insisting things had been WORSE for those 'coming
out'(i now liken this phenomena to 'coming out' and both my therapist and i
have agreed and almost laughed at how coming out as gay is easy peasy in
comparison '…i know many gay people in Antiques but it's often a flight i
believe as it blocks the chance for healing as they spend their lives staying
'gay' (sorry,i'd deconstruct that and more social nuances till doomsday but
will save your eyesight haha) Last year then after 1-2 weeks i approached my
parents and said how i'd thought(as you well know and see with many people in
denial i was close to my mum and ohhh yeh,bought then a part house in 1997 and
my twisted brother a business in 2007 all for that approval) I also then found
out from my brother my mum had had 5 miscarriages before me(he is 9 years
older…i quickly joined my original awakening to that info i'd just received and
realised my mum having being so traumatised in her childhood had lifeforms in her
womb that knew she wasn't capable of nurture and attachment etc)..but hey,i
came out for the hell of it(smiley face)…only as recent as yesterday i was
telling my therapist at my general state of unsafety and remembered how i was
left in my pram every time my mother went shopping …i'am sure you'll agree with
people it's often in part 'like attracts like' but i'am now of the opinion to
that it's 'trauma attracts trauma'..my dad both together had been unable to look
my in the eye mostly for 15 years after i bought them a house and he had a nervous
breakdown…it's all a bit tragic..and it's takes my mums larger than life to keep
it all together..as part of the façade Once i broke this 'news' my brother
eventually started (even although for the first time ever i threatened him as
i'd realised like he'd not been around his daughter till she was 8 and his son
till he was 21 that he'd been the same with me as a child..so i realised there
was no bond even though i still hoped for one) He now thinks 'you started all
this you fuckerrrr' but now my mum and dad (whoi i'll maybe even see
tonight)are ageing and the truth is their own transference and repression is
now coming out.. Iam still working with my therapist of course and she's also
trained in a therapy called Brainspotting…you maybe know of it?it's where the
trauma in the brain has a location which can be elicited with finding an eye
placement then it's like the stored trauma processes itself…however,Lisa
Schwarz who's refined it also adds the 'Resourcing Model' which is when people
(like many of us )have ZERO bond and attachment due to deep neglect that it's
used first to resource the client..iam still doing that slowly but also blended
with a little 'talk' side of therapy..i know they can all be traps in a sense
overtime but my therapist is very aware of such issues….and,is always always on
the side of the child- Iam 38 and she's mid 60's however we both come from Irish
Catholic stock and like you we both have a deeper context to the Catholic repression…during
my new age era 2002-2012 i knew all this stuff and over 200+books but the deep
psychic levels I still witness(Glasgow has the highest heroin deaths per capita
in Eurpoe and lowest life expectancy at just 56 in Europe) At this moment i'am
very alone and like you said in your book 'maybe not sensible to be by myself
at times'… I met a woman when i was 27 and she was….ahem..55…we both done
Antiques..liked and loved all the same things(and the one i like IE hate the
same things IE just cheesy celebs or other daft shallow things or supposed important
things in life)…we didn't stay together but travelled all over and she was interested
in finding peace etc too..we split last year and all my revelations about my
family i'd speak about with her…but always giving context and talking as peers
etc (yes,theres was plenty mother issues perhaps but our commonalities etc was
just exquisite often)… Maybe the childhood stuff got too much but also we were
drifting too-she often tried to break up so i could start with someone my own
age..but,it's like our bond was so close and i'd never click with anyone else(i
could go on with this but i'll get a wee bit succinct) She has a daughter 3
years younger than me…who looks like Briggette Bardot in her prime…over the
years she's split from boyfriends and Cartiona(my parner and ahem..her
mother)would often say go to Holly's can you and help her etc…there had been
the odd little touch etc but the weird
thing was..i'd never clicked with her in all those years and just never felt
safe with a younger woman…and Holly is a little bit shallow..,.she's hyper intelligent
and successful and all the other things but it's like since she's a 10/10 in
most things her depth i felt was a 5(sorry if my grading system is a little
pedantic)just made things more obvious Last
year we were all at Carionas son;'s wedding(who's 3 years older than me haha)and
after several breweries of alcohol Holly(going through her latest final phase
with a guy)said 'i know you know gerry'…(sorry if this is getting too Mills and
Boon)and i took it as she knew i knew she wanted to be with me…Catriona and I had
become really closest friends etc and all the subtle cues were always pointing that
way…the wedding was stressful in that i knew that was going to happen on some level…i
never responded and after 1 week and told Catriona 'i might have picked this up
wrong but if Holly has any thoughts about me tell her no..iam not the one for her'..Catriona
quickly dispelled it and said i'd got it wrong(maybe to this day I have but i
know all the ciues over those years)…anyway,apologies for digressing by since
then Catriona and i have ended and i've been left with no one to really speak
this content about abuse with…. One of the things i'd like over time is to make
this stuff so mainstream that it's occasional 'non provoking' chit chat over coffee…..all
the folk i know i've mentioned this too that were all the usual Byron Katie's
and Eckhard etc etc are positively shit scared of this stuff….i now know it's
so hard to 'come out' on so many levels it's surely the reason it's still so
intractable in this world I just want to jump to my parents….i found out lkasy
year my mums older sister who i'd never known was the result of my
grandad(never new him he'd died from usual 20th century alcohol
abuse)had raped my nana for the first child and my nana stayed with him out of
fear(all told briefly and noneshelancnty by my brother) My mum was a very
pretty girl and i've now no doubt she was sexually 'manipulated' by her
father…i've heard recently woman who have been raped and or sexually manipulated
make the worst mothers for boys as they deeply psychic want to exact revenge on
the male….my mum spent a short time in my childhood saying 'DONT TOUCH ME..NEVER
TOUCH MUMMY'…lovely!!!same rhetoric the 'ICE MAN''s mother used to him shockingly!
all my family as you'd expect is severely dysfunctional but aim off the woman
side and it seems more compounded often with the mother's!?!!? I've spent the
hour before emailing you to a new age freak(sorry)woman i knew who she credited
me for introducing her to many of the so called healing therapies …she's moved
to Malta and has lots of followers on twitter(or twatter) but it's all the
usual cliche stuff….everything is 'awesome' etc etc…i told her about 6 months ago
about the ACE study and to start telling her followers and clients a bit about it….she then said it wasn't fair to
bring up childhood to her trusted clients… Iam giving her deep insights into
the 'child' voice(but being a mother of 3 in her 50's it's often tricky too)… Anyway,i
think aim hitting the wall now Sylvie for today..iam gonna catch a hot yoga class(i'd
like to say Bikram but he's up for sexual predatory charges and can't be bothered
using his name but it's sad all his quotes are just shit and all those hot 20somethings
looking for whatever and he then thinks he's invincible)….the lad teaching
tonights class is from LA so a little exotic for Glasgow…nice enough but he managed
to survive cancer but now he's saying all the new age stuff(i feel like saying
;yes i read all those 40 books your quoting too my friend)it's bloody painful listening
to this stuff now!!!!CHRIIIIIIIIIIIST!!! unbeknown to most my body is often a
fucking mess despite my outwardly healthy lifestyle etc but moving into the
early trauma body etc and deep neglect will aim sure push through in time!! Anyway,it
was nice to chat Sylvie…even if it was a little one sided haha!! it's maybe not
you're thing but it would be nice if you gave an interview one day!>!?!!?!?!?i
do like Stefan Molyneaux generally and it would reach a lot … (dont wanna say
it,but…..God Bless)
G
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