Exactly! Sit or lie down and let yourself feel the intense repressed emotions of the child you once were.
Once our painful feelings are understood and consciously felt within the context of our childhood, they start to subside and are replaced with love and compassion for ourselves and others.
Otherwise, you will be driven by the repressed emotions of the child you once were to hurt others, yourself, or both. Just like my enlightened witness wrote: “Should we as adults be treated in the same way as our parents treated us as children, many of us - especially if we have been through therapy - can become aware of the cruelty endured before. But the knowledge of the whole amount of cruelty can still rest repressed because the terror happened when we did not yet have a name for it. For this reason, we need what we call "the transference", hating, for instance, another person instead of our mother or father.
The transference is unavoidable if we were once abused, as children. It can also be highly confusing.
But it can be liberating as well if we are ready to see it as a consequence of our early life.
If we have summoned the courage to look our outraged, hateful YOUNG parents in the eyes,
and to feel the fear of the small child we once were, then the misleading, confusing, and defensive role of the transference disappears.
We can then strive to feel the fear of the small baby, scared to death by the two big human beings holding our body and soul in their hands and doing or saying to us whatever they wanted, totally careless about our future, about what consequences their abuse might have on our lives.
They acted like robots, directed by their own childhoods, unable of any kind of reflection whatsoever.
If we don’t want to become like them we must strive to SEE them as exactly as possible. We can use in this way the transference as a means for discovering the feelings of the small child that we once were and to deepen our understanding of him or her. At this moment the transference becomes our guide that will enable the small child in us to BELIEVE what their body KNEW its whole life but his mind could never believe: that so much evil and hatred can be directed towards a small, innocent child only because the parents have endured the same and have never questioned this.” Alice Miller
Here is where most of humanity is stuck. unconsciously and compulsively looking for scapegoats or poisonous containers to temporally alleviate their own childhood repression. Repeating exactly what their own parents did to them and this vicious circle goes on endlessly...
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