Wednesday, August 28, 2024

It is what it is


Totally! I use this phrase all the time. I have learned to accept what it is, cut my losses if necessary and move on. 

Enablers are Just as Guilty

 "There are people who sit on the sidelines and watch someone else being whipped. They could step in and demand that it stops. They have the power to do so. What do they do? Nothing. The narcissist depends on these weak-willed people. Abusing people isn't so much fun if it's only a party of two.

Not taking a stand to stop someone being hurt and bullied doesn't absolve you of guilt. On the contrary, you become an active participant, whether you consider yourself one or not. Enablers are guided by self-interest. They choose not to help the victim. This is why enablers are not innocent. They have made a choice to support abuse."

 "So, the narcissist works to get others to turn on the target. The collective betrayal, which comes from the camp of these enablers, is even more devastating than the primary source of abuse. (Very true, the collective betrayal is worse than the primary source!)

Targets, especially if this happens at work, or in a social setting, watch as, one by one, the people they thought were their friends, slink away as the battle intensifies. (This has happened to me in the workplace more than once!!)
Not taking a stand to stop someone from being hurt doesn't absolve you of guilt. On the contrary, you become an active participant, whether you consider yourself one or not.

Some enablers even take it a step beyond and switch from idling in neutral to all-out support of the morally disordered person. They may even turn into "flying monkeys" who carry out small attacks, in order to stay on the bully's good side. (Totally! This has been my experience with narcissists in the workplace)

...The abuser relies upon them not to back up the target. Before any attacks begin, a morally disordered person will carefully plan the battle. This can take months, or even longer before direct hits are launched. (Yes, that's exactly what happens!)

Only if it's clear that there's an excellent chance of decimating a target, does the warfare begin. If there's a solid support system, the abuser won't make a move. (Totally! They recruit emotionally blind people they can easily manipulate to support them to destroy their target )

This means the enablers are the variable, which can either make or break a plan, and the narcissist knows this. That's why so much effort is put into creating chaos and confusion. This makes it easier for the enablers to rationalize their position. They may even begin to believe the target is getting the treatment she deserves, and that she did something to warrant the narcissist's extreme reaction." Read more in the link below:
https://discover.hubpages.com/health/Enablers-Help-the-Narcissist-Get-Away-With-It

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Not having children is the smartest thing I ever did.



Yes, they do!


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Because they can’t face being alone for even one second.

Malignant narcissists only care about their image, money, and protecting their name and could care less about you or any other breathing living being... 

"...Since narcissists are very interested in social status and influence, they use acts of generosity to appear noble and kind. ...Being a good person, or rather appearing as one publicly, can generate fame and boost a narcissist's public image. Since narcissists are very interested in social status and influence, they use acts of generosity to appear noble and kind.

Some examples of this are narcissists who donate their money, goods, or time. A regular person receiving public acknowledgment for their good acts is secondary but for a narcissist, it's the main goal. Participating in a public photoshoot or making an article or announcement in regard to their generous deed go viral is what they are actually interested in."

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Yes, they get bored with me fast. I love being at home
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