No, they don't! Just walk away or keep your distance from these people as much as possible.
So happy to be free of these people, they are exhausting...
Narcissists can't heal because they lack the courage to open their eyes to see and feel their own painful truths. They would rather kill and be killed than look in the mirror and face themselves, they are a bunch of cowards unconsciously and compulsively looking for scapegoats to exploit and use as poison containers to temporarily alleviate their own childhood repression and feel better. In The Drama of the Gifted Child, page 94: The Search for the True Self" by Dr. Alice Miller: --- "… The humiliation, self-disgust, and self-contempt trigger the past situation and, through the compulsion to repeat, produce the same tragic conditions for pleasure. Seen in this way, the compulsion to repeat is a great opportunity. It can be resolved when feelings in the present situation can be felt and clarified. If no use is made of this opportunity, if the message is ignored, the compulsion to repeat will continue without abating for the person's entire lifetime, although its form may change.
What is unconscious cannot be abolished by proclamation or prohibition. One can, however, develop sensitivity toward recognizing it and begin to experience it consciously, and thus eventually gain control over it…"In this Interview "The Feeling Child" with Alice Miller by Diane Connors for OMNI Publications International March 1987 --- Dr. Alice Miller says:
"Pain is the way to the truth. By denying that you were unloved as a child, you spare yourself some pain, but you are not with your own truth. And throughout your whole life, you'll try to earn love. In therapy, avoiding pain causes blockage. Yet nobody can confront being neglected or hated without feeling guilty. "It is my fault that my mother is cruel," he thinks. "I made my mother furious; what can I do to make her loving?" So he will continue trying to make her love him. The guilt is really protection against the terrible realization that you are fated to have a mother who cannot love. This is much more painful than thinking, "Oh, she is a good mother, it's only me who's bad." Because then you can try to do something to get love. But it's not true; you cannot earn love. And feeling guilty for what has been done to you only supports your blindness and your neurosis.
I try to reach the child in the readers and allow them to feel. I see my style as ranking keys. Everybody can take one so that they can go open their own door to find something. Or they can say no, I don't want to go through this door; I will return the key. I try to evoke feelings, and images. In this way, I offer keys to your own experience. You can then go look at your children and learn from them, not from me. Because only from your own experience can you really learn.
In my first studies, I was very abstract; I wanted to understand the most abstract ideas -- of Kant, Hegel, or Marx. My dissertation in philosophy was very abstract. Now I see that each philosopher had to build a big, big building in order not to feel his pain. Even Freud.
If a child has been molested and the therapist doesn't deny this fact, many things can open up in the patient. The therapist must not preach forgiveness, or the patient will repress the pain. He won't change, and the repressed rage will look for a scapegoat." Please read the full interview HERE.
"Pain is the way to the truth. By denying that you were unloved as a child, you spare yourself some pain, but you are not with your own truth. And throughout your whole life, you'll try to earn love. In therapy, avoiding pain causes blockage. Yet nobody can confront being neglected or hated without feeling guilty. "It is my fault that my mother is cruel," he thinks. "I made my mother furious; what can I do to make her loving?" So he will continue trying to make her love him. The guilt is really protection against the terrible realization that you are fated to have a mother who cannot love. This is much more painful than thinking, "Oh, she is a good mother, it's only me who's bad." Because then you can try to do something to get love. But it's not true; you cannot earn love. And feeling guilty for what has been done to you only supports your blindness and your neurosis.
I try to reach the child in the readers and allow them to feel. I see my style as ranking keys. Everybody can take one so that they can go open their own door to find something. Or they can say no, I don't want to go through this door; I will return the key. I try to evoke feelings, and images. In this way, I offer keys to your own experience. You can then go look at your children and learn from them, not from me. Because only from your own experience can you really learn.
In my first studies, I was very abstract; I wanted to understand the most abstract ideas -- of Kant, Hegel, or Marx. My dissertation in philosophy was very abstract. Now I see that each philosopher had to build a big, big building in order not to feel his pain. Even Freud.
If a child has been molested and the therapist doesn't deny this fact, many things can open up in the patient. The therapist must not preach forgiveness, or the patient will repress the pain. He won't change, and the repressed rage will look for a scapegoat." Please read the full interview HERE.
Covert malignant narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, assholes, or whatever you like to call these NOW evil people are great examples of the drama of the gifted child that Dr. Alice Miller explains beautifully in her book the Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search of your true self. These people have mastered to perfection the art of repression, projection, and transference into others all that they cannot face and accept in themselves. There are no good or bad people. It's the level of repression that makes some people very dangerous.
I have compassion for the children they once were but I have no compassion for the monsters adults they have become.
Don't make the mistake of labeling people as good or bad.
There is no such thing as good or bad people.
There are unconscious or repressed people acting as if personality pretending to be good people, but are wolves in sheep's clothing, that can turn against you at any moment and do their evil acts behind closed doors without witnesses.
And there are unconscious people that can't act or pretend and they do their evil acts in the open and usually get caught and end up in jail.
It's the level of repression that makes some people very dangerous! And some people are not as dangerously repressed and safer to be around.
And of course, there are a few of us that have taken responsibility for our own childhood repression and come from a place of honesty and authenticity.
The conversation about the effects of childhood repression in our society needs to start happening in the stage of the world, sooner rather than later, if we want to save ourselves and humanity from falling off the cliff and committing mass suicide.
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