I Witness these psychological Mechanisms being played Everywhere

 “Humiliations, spankings, and beatings, slaps in the face, betrayal, sexual exploitation, derision, neglect, etc. are all forms of mistreatment, because they injure the integrity and dignity of a child, even if their consequences are not visible right away. However, as adults, most abused children will suffer, and let others suffer, from these injuries. This dynamic of violence can deform some victims into hangmen who take revenge even on whole nations and become willing executors to dictators as unutterably appalling as Hitler and other cruel leaders.” Alice Miller I witness these psychological mechanisms being played everywhere. This is one of the reasons most people stayed silent on the sidelines when I was the target of psychological warfare at my job of nine and a half years, if I didn't understand these psychological mechanisms, and I had taken it personally, would have affected my mental health to the point that I would not be here today... understanding these psychological dynamics can save your life -- you might lose money but it will save your life and you stay free.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2015/10/enablers-are-just-as-guilty.html

Gabby Petito

The Police body cam video is a great example of how abusers are good at making their targets, the real victims, appear to be the abusers. But now we know who the real victim is. "Physical violence can be testified to be outside evidence: eyewitness, police and medical reports. With emotional abuse, there is no proof. It's a clean violence. Nobody sees anything.

...While the victim dwells on her guilt, the abuser benefits from the situation, making sure to cast himself as the victim.

Justification becomes impossible when nothing is said and no reproach is made. Desperate to find a solution to this horrifying impasse, the victim may be tempted in turn to use innuendo and manipulation. The relationship then becomes ambiguous: who is the abuser and who is the victim.

The ideal outcome for the abuser is to succeed in making the other “evil,” which transforms the evil into something more normal because it is now shared. He wants to inject the other with what is bad in him. To corrupt is the ultimate goal."

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2015/02/stalking-soul.html

https://www.facebook.com/sylne/posts/10158602882288922?comment_id=10158603582128922&reply_comment_id=10158604008228922&notif_id=1632757421614149&notif_t=feed_comment&ref=notif

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10158588024553922&id=723458921

“She’s just crazy,” Brian Laundrie told officers with a chuckle, while they questioned him and attempted to sort out the couple’s dispute.

“Crazy” huh?

“Crazy” because she’s extremely emotional in the back of a patrol car, trying to answer their questions, all the while covering for you so that you don’t get cited, charged with domestic assault, or spend the night in jail.

“Crazy” because you jokingly called her that and have now planted the seed in officers/viewers' minds wondering if perhaps she is “crazy,” all the while you get to play the part of the poor, patient partner who must deal with such an irrational person.

“Crazy” because she takes all the blame for what happened that morning, despite being slapped by you (according to a witness), and somehow convinces herself that it truly is all her fault.

“Crazy” because she feels immense guilt and is profusely apologizing for making you upset, or walking on eggshells, just to prevent you from having another outbreak.

“Crazy” because she is visibly traumatized, terrified and expresses fear of you locking her out of her van, driving off, and leaving her abandoned outside in 100-degree weather.

“Crazy” because her body language in the photo above is of someone who is stuck in a hopeless cycle, living with fear and anxiety, while you are relaxed, cracking jokes, attempting to charm the officers, and laughing without much concern.

“Crazy” because she has developed major anxiety over the course of your relationship, and any time she cries or gets emotional, you mention that you try to distance yourself from her instead of offering comfort and love.

“Crazy” because she has goals of pursuing her own dreams of being a successful blogger, and all she hears is your voice telling her “That she really can’t do any of it.”

Gabby Petito’s case brings light and renews much-needed attention to the issue of domestic violence.

https://www.facebook.com/100004433201903/posts/2032224510268636/

Vesta Andersson: scary, but very common. Especially when a female victim has to explain herself to a male police squad

Sylvie Imelda Shene: Yes, it's very scary and very common. If I didn't walk away and had reacted to the psychological warfare at my job of nine and a half years and the police had been called -- guess who would have gone to jail?! Me the real victim. The goal they were hoping to accomplish with their psychological warfare was to see me, dead, in jail, or in a mental hospital.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2016/06/for-sociopath-winning-is-all.html

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/09/big-cover-up-by-sociopaths-at-my-ex-job.html

Be a Filter NOT a Sponge

Someone posted this quote in Portuguese on Facebook: 

"You don't need to absorb the negativity of the people around you. You don't need to participate in other people's confusion. People are the way they are, and the choices are theirs. learn to be a filter. Not a sponge." 

Charlatans with their clever half-truths to allure people to their cults are so annoying!

Below is the comment I left in the charlatan's post. Of course, no one acknowledged my comment! Because connected truths no one wants to see, so pretty much everyone ignores it! 

I used to be a sponge, all children are sponges, but after a long self-therapy with the books and website of Alice Miller I have become a filter. To become a filter we need to encounter an enlightened witness and have the courage to face and consciously feel all the repressed painful emotions within the context of our own childhood when triggered by present events, otherwise, we will endlessly remain a sponge lost in projections and transferences unconsciously and compulsively reenacting the painful dramas or traumas of our childhood with people standing in symbolizing our parents or childhood caregivers.

https://www.alice-miller.com/en/the-essential-role-of-an-enlightened-witness-in-society-2/

If I was still a sponge and had absorbed all the evil energy transferred into me by the sociopaths at my job of nine and a half years -- I would not be here today -- but thanks to now being a filter -- I was able to consciously feel their evil energy and filter it out, and all went back to them, and my boss was the one to self-destruct.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/09/big-cover-up-by-sociopaths-at-my-ex-job.html

The Roots of Violence are NOT Unknown

We have a lot of young people that their psyches have been killed in infancy and in childhood and this is why so many young people become mass murderers.

"..if their psyche is killed, they will learn how to kill--the only question is who will be killed: oneself, others, or both."

But nobody wants to look at the root causes of violence.

"Children who are lectured to, learn how to lecture; if they are admonished, they learn how to admonish; if scolded, they learn how to scold; if ridiculed, they learn how to ridicule; if humiliated, they learn how to humiliate; if their psyche is killed, they will learn how to kill--the only question is who will be killed: oneself, others, or both." -- Alice Miller

The above excerpt from the article PEDAGOGY FILLS THE NEEDS OF PARENTS - NOT OF CHILDREN

From the book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence by Alice 

The Roots of Violence are NOT Unknown

The misled brain and the banned emotions

The Facts:

1. The development of the human brain is use-dependent. The brain develops its structure in the first four years of life, depending on the experiences the environment offers the child. The brain of a child who has mostly loving experiences will develop differently from the brain of a child who has been treated cruelly.

2. Almost all children on our planet are beaten in the first years of their lives. They learn from the start violence, and this lesson is wired into their developing brains. No child is ever born violent. Violence is NOT genetic, it exists because beaten children use, in their adult lives, the lesson that their brains have learned.

3. As beaten children are not allowed to defend themselves, they must suppress their anger and rage against their parents who have humiliated them, killed their inborn empathy, and insulted their dignity. They will take out this rage later, as adults, on scapegoats, mostly on their own children. Deprived of empathy, some of them will direct their anger against themselves (in eating disorders, drug addiction, depression, etc.), or against other adults (in wars, terrorism, delinquency, etc.)

Questions and Answers:

Q: Parents beat their children without a second thought, to make them obedient. Nobody, except a very small minority, protests against this dangerous habit. Why is the logical sequence (from being a misled victim to becoming a misleading perpetrator) totally ignored world-wide? Why have even the Popes, responsible for the moral behaviour of many millions of believers, until now never informed them that beating children is a crime?

A: Because almost ALL of us were beaten, and we had to learn very early that these cruel acts were normal, harmless, and even good for us. Nobody ever told us that they were crimes against humanity. The wrong, immoral, and absurd lesson was wired into our developing brains, and this explains the emotional blindness governing our world.

Q: Can we free ourselves from the emotional blindness we developed in childhood?

A: We can – at least to some degree – liberate ourselves from this blindness by daring to feel our repressed emotions, including our fear and forbidden rage against our parents who had often scared us to death for periods of many years, which should have been the most beautiful years of our lives. We can’t retrieve those years. But thanks to facing our truth we can transform ourselves from the children who still live in us full of fear and denial into responsible, well informed adults who regained their empathy, so early stolen from them. By becoming feeling persons we can no longer deny that beating children is a criminal act that should be forbidden on the whole planet.

Conclusion:

Caring for the emotional needs of our children means more than giving them a happy childhood. It means to enable the brains of the future adults to function in a healthy, rational way, free from perversion and madness. Being forced to learn in childhood that hitting children is a blessing for them is a most absurd, confusing lesson, one with the most dangerous consequences: This lesson as such, together with being cut off from the true emotions, creates the roots of violence.

www.alice-miller.com
© 2015 Alice Miller

http://www.alice-miller.com/en/the-roots-of-violence-are-not-unknown/

Real Answers and Keys That's the Key for True Liberation

It took me more than 40 years and traveling around the world to find real answers and the keys to liberate myself. 

I took back to everyone in a tray these real answers and keys -- so they too could liberate themselves -- these real answers and keys are more valuable than all the money in this world put together! 

Now, it's up to them to find the courage, to stop fighting in their emotional prisons, and use the keys to open the doors of their emotional prisons, leave everything behind and those not YET ready or too far gone and incapable of leaving. 

Now, I think it is time for me to stop crossing this bridge and just enjoy my freedom for the rest of my life.

Some people, if they had everything taken away from them, and had to start life again at 46 years old, as I did, would rather kill and be killed than walk away, start over and be free!

Most people are full of illusions, and money by itself is the biggest illusion of them all...

Most people are too invested in lies and illusions. It's too painful to face the facts that they have deceived themselves their entire lives.

Most people are lost playing the roles assigned to them in childhood.

Lies and illusions cost a lot of money and souls.

Most people stay stuck forever in projections and transferences. 

About Transference

Tuesday October 14, 2008

At the beginning of our lives, we were, as very small children, totally dependent on our parents. And we believed, we HAD TO believe, that we were loved by them. Even when we were abused we couldn’t realize this. Then, after 4 years, we grew up and couldn’t avoid suffering from being rejected, hated and treated cruelly. But as dependent children, we still could not afford to FEEL this suffering, we were too small to deal with these feelings, thus we had to repress our rage, indignation, and our deep disappointment into our bodies. When we become adults, these repressed feelings stemming from the cruel treatment of our parents may come to the surface, but they are still connected with the small child’s fear of being punished for every sign of rebellion.

Should we as adults be treated in the same way as our parents treated us as children, many of us – especially if we have been through therapy – can become aware of the cruelty endured before. But the knowledge of the whole amount of cruelty can still rest repressed because the terror happened when we had not yet a name for it. For this reason, we need what we call “the transference”, hating, for instance, another person instead of our mother or father.

The transference is unavoidable if we were once abused children. It can also be highly confusing. But it can be liberating as well if we are ready to see it as a consequence of our early life. If we have summoned the courage to look our outraged, hateful YOUNG parents in the eyes, and to feel the fear of the small child we once were, then the misleading, confusing and defensive role of the transference disappears. We can then strive to feel the fear of the small baby, scared to death by the two big human beings holding our body and soul in their hands and doing or saying to us whatever they wanted, totally careless about our future, about what consequences their abuse might have on our lives. They acted like robots, directed by their own childhoods, unable of any kind of reflection whatsoever.

If we don’t want to become like them we must strive to SEE them as exactly as possible. We can use in this way the transference as a means for discovering the feelings of the small child that we once were and to deepen our understanding for him or her. At this moment the transference becomes our guide that will enable the small child in us to BELIEVE what their body KNEW it’s whole life but his mind could never believe: that so much evil and hatred can be directed towards a small, innocent child only because the parents have endured the same and have never questioned this. https://www.alice-miller.com/en/about-transference/

Translation of the words "I don't agree with you." I am a person that sticks to the facts and evidence, so when someone says to me: "I don't agree with you" it means that the person can’t handle facing the facts and evidence at the moment. Life is too short to waste hitting my head against walls! If necessary, I have learned to walk away from anyone that lacks the courage to open their eyes to see and feel. Free at last!

I'm Proud of Myself

I’m proud that I gave you the best gift a parent could ever give, not life but the gift of never to have been.

I keep you safe from harm; safe from disease, epidemics, poverty, crime, starvation, rape, and murder.

I’m proud of many things. I’m proud that I made the best decision of my life, never to have created you in the first place.

I’m proud that I never played Frankenstein with your welfare and sentience; keeping you safe from the horrific inevitability of a tragic death.

I’m proud that you will never experience jumping from a burning building because we humans have created the silly thing called theism and now we think we’re special and have special rights to kill others in its name.

I am so glad we will never meet because only good comes from not feeling pain and only bad is created when you are created.

I’m proud of myself for thinking of your well-being before mindlessly creating you without the thought of thousands of ways that you could have died. Some might say I am depriving you of pleasure by not creating you but those people have yet to die a horrific death and aren’t currently living in a holocaust.

They have skewed perceptions of the realities of pain and suffering. When they are able to come from their death and say it was worth it, then I’ll consider the balance.

Sure life has its ups and downs but at what cost? Almost everything that was good came from a deprivation; good food meant I was hungry, backrubs meant I had back pain, a warm bed meant I was cold, to begin with, and more importantly, the relief of suffering only came from the existence of pain.

So, this is my greatest accomplishment for you child; to never have created you and put you through all that. All for the satisfaction, for me to have something to play with and something to look at and just go, “Hey, I remember when I was a kid and I did that; I remember when I broke my elbow and my leg, that was fun”.

Unknown author