This blog is about learning to understand all of our feelings and learning to consciously face, feel and experience all of our feelings within the context of our own childhood. Everything we become and happens to us is connected to childhood. Not every victim becomes an abuser, but every abuser was once a victim of abuse, these are facts, Violence is not genetic, it’s learned. https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2014/08/a-dance-to-freedom-book-reviews.html
The last line its so perfect! "It is symbolic of his struggle against reality"
We can't have mental health without facing and feeling our painful truths... Sadly most people rather go insane and kill and be killed than face their own painful truths.
I have been saying for a very long time that many organizations that supposedly help and care for animals are part of the problem. These people call themselves experts in the care of animals and proclaim to love them and to know what’s best for them, but all they do is create the illusion of love for animals and under the disguise of helping and caring, covertly are part of cruelty to animals and they prolong their suffering. I lost complete faith in organizations like the Arizona Humane Society and many of the people who proclaim to love animals. I know they know where the people in trouble are that need help and assistance, but they put their blinds on and they just go rescue the animals when the people get in trouble and the law gets involved and the cameras are on, then they do what should have been done long ago to prevent cruelty and suffering, in this way, they look good in front of the public’s eyes and manipulate the public to donate money to their organizations, but really secretly don’t care about the animals or anyone else’s suffering. They don’t fool me anymore.
I'm glad to see that are other people to see this also.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2011/01/arizona-humane-society-unconsciously.html
An article in The New Yorker by bestselling novelist Jonathan Franzen is lifting the veil on how “no-kill” policies at animal shelters—even those funded by taxpayer money—are causing cats and dogs to suffer. As Franzen explains in the article, many shelters prioritize “save rates” over spay rates. Shelters are focused on keeping animals out of their facilities and out of their statistics, even if it means that they suffer and die on the streets. Click here to learn more, and please share this important information with others who care about animals."
A long-serving animal-control officer described a system intensely pressured to keep animals moving through it. “No Kill sounds great,” the officer said. “But it’s a myth."
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2024/01/01/how-the-no-kill-movement-betrays-its-name
As Franzen explains in the article, many shelters prioritize “save rates” over spay rates. Facilities are focused on keeping animals out of their euthanasia statistics even if it means that they suffer and die on the streets. But many shelters aren’t doing nearly enough—if anything—to prevent animals from being born into a world already bursting at the seams with unwanted ones and ending up homeless in the first place.
Some facilities warehouse dogs for weeks, months, or even years and turn away other animals. Many refuse to accept cats altogether, condemning them to abandonment on the streets as “community” cats—a particularly egregious policy, given a new study revealing that cats allowed to roam outdoors terrorize, maim, and kill more than 2,000 species of animals.
These “slow-kill” policies leave the most vulnerable animals with nowhere to go, leading to abandoned dogs and cats not only reproducing and creating even more unwanted animals but also suffering and/or dying of starvation, traumatic injuries, disease, or abuse. Facilities with “no-kill” policies enjoy positive public relations—advertising “90% save rates” that are misleading at best and dishonest at worst—while open-admission shelters, which never turn away animals in need (and are therefore most in need of funding), are vilified.
“A long-serving animal-control officer, who asked not to be identified, described to me a system intensely pressured by No Kill to keep animals moving through it—dangerous dogs and frightened feral cats being placed with unsuspecting adopters, abusive or psychologically disturbed people being given animals without even a basic background check, because there aren’t enough good homes for all the animals. ‘No Kill sounds great,’ the officer said. ‘But it’s a myth.’”
—Jonathan Franzen
Animal shelters are meant to serve as safe havens. There should be no waiting lists, no admission fees, and no excuses to keep animals out.
If your local shelter has harmful policies and turns away animals, please speak up and encourage humane, responsible “socially conscious sheltering.” The basic steps are simple: Document your experiences, gather support, and make your case. Your involvement could make a world of difference to the companion animals in your community who need you the most.
Shelters are under extreme pressure by laypeople who are opposed to euthanasia under virtually any circumstances and at any cost. They harass and vilify shelter workers who make the difficult but compassionate decision to euthanize some animals in order to keep their doors open to every animal in need.
In response, an alarming number of shelters—in some cases, even taxpayer-funded ones—are choosing to operate like exclusive clubs or boutiques instead of refuges for animals in need. When shelters make it difficult for people to surrender animals, closing their doors and refusing to help, they leave animals with nowhere to turn. Many are abandoned on the streets, where they starve and die in agony of untreated diseases or injuries. Others remain in the hands of people who don’t want them and who may mistreat, neglect, or even kill them.
https://www.peta.org/features/shelter-refusing-animals/?en_txn7=blog::jonathan-%20franzen
"Two forms of mental illness: the profound psychopathology of political "leaders." And the delusional (and cowardly) psychiatrists--who claim that an individual has to be "on the couch" in order to be diagnosed."
Most psychologists and psychiatrics are nothing than scared little children afraid to speak the naked truth and are a bunch of cowards!
This song by Taylor Swift brings to mind my EX, With this song she describes also beautifully my ex and me to a T. I didn't write a song about him but I wrote a book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions...
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2023/02/happy-valentines-day.html?m=1
A defining feature of narcissism is the ability to create a false positive persona. We refer to it as the False Self, which arises from a narcissist’s inclination to live inside their own Alternate Reality. Most narcissists know it is in their vested interest to attempt to appear pleasant, supportive, and coordinated, so they can make attempts to appear more congenial than they really are. But the foundational elements of narcissism are so contrary to relational and personal maturity, that they cannot maintain the façade indefinitely. This is especially true when difficulties inevitably arise.
Beneath the surface of narcissism are all sorts of features that run counter to healthy relationship connections, so it is only a matter of time when the false positives will collapse and a mean streak will emerge. Narcissists are so self-absorbed that they cannot contain their proclivities toward harshness. Being fair-weather companions only, when trials or differences emerge so does their contentiousness. It’s what they do.
There are multiple emotions at the base of narcissism that fuel their meanness. Insecurity, fear, anger, and haughtiness come to mind. But the primary emotion that propels them into meanness is vengeance. Feeling entitled, narcissists see you as a potential giver of narcissistic supply. They want you to remind them of the many ways they are special and when you do not, there is a price to pay. Mere differences between you and the narcissist can be enough to trigger the notion: “You’ll be sorry for ever going up against me.”Anyone who uses dogs’ reproduction to make a profit is a breeder. Some may be small-time “backyard” operations, while others could be filthy industrial-sized puppy mills. Regardless of size, every breeder is responsible for exacerbating the overpopulation crisis.
In a time of extreme companion animal overpopulation, breeding dogs is always irresponsible and cruel. Dog breeders treat living individuals as commodities to be genetically manipulated for profit. In this industry, many dogs are kept in crates and cages, where they live alone, never experiencing the affection of a loving family.
How are dog breeders worsening the overpopulation crisis?
There’s no excuse for bringing more puppies into the world. More than 6 million animals end up homeless every year, and half of them must be euthanized because there simply aren’t enough proper homes for them. Every time a dog is bred, more dogs lose the opportunity to have a good life.
Few breeders require the puppies they sell to be spayed or neutered, so they can soon have litters of their own, further exacerbating the overpopulation crisis. Just one unaltered female dog and her offspring can produce 67,000 puppies in only six years.
Breeders don’t see dogs as individuals with personalities and specific needs—they just see dollar signs. When fleeting trends arise around particular breeds, such as the craze for huskies fueled by HBO’s Game of Thrones, dog breeders pump out dogs just to satisfy humans’ most recent whim. The pet trade encourages the public to view animals as impulse purchases, no different from fashion accessories or home decor, rather than as thinking, feeling beings who deserve love, respect, and a lifetime commitment.
Many other unwanted animals—who are abandoned but never make it into a shelter—suffer and die after being hit by cars or attacked by other animals, succumbing to disease or the elements, or enduring other awful fates.
Are dog breeders always bad news?
When millions of dogs must die every year because no one will adopt them, breeding a dog even once is unethical. Instead, guardians should be having their animal companions spayed or neutered.
I. has to understand that the old tactics she used with L to get money no longer work because C won't let that happen.
I. has to let L and her money go. L doesn't care about her. L. and I. are at different ends of the same stick. There are Fxcked up people with money on one end and there are Fxcked people without money on the other end, but both are Fxcked up nevertheless, the only difference is one has money and the other doesn’t.
Have no doubts if I. was better off financially instead of C. L would be at I's house running away from her daughter. For L, money, status symbols, and being around people with financial success is what is most important to her, no matter if they have a heart or not!
If I. wants to save herself, she has to let L. and her money go and let go of the reins of control and leave everything behind. And start mourning all the things lost and what could have been but never was.
Even if I. could get money from L. would just buy her more time. She has to face the inevitable and the sooner the better.
Her health issues are caused by the pressure from all that she has been repressing all of her life and running from facing and feeling the painful truths in her life.
The moment she lets go of the reins of control and lets everything go her health will improve.
The words
below by Alice Miller are so true. The body never lies, It sticks to the facts.
“Inability to face up to the suffering undergone in childhood can be observed both in the form of religious obedience and in cynicism, irony, and other forms of self-alienation frequently masquerading as philosophy or literature. But ultimately the body will rebel. Even if it can be temporarily pacified with the help of drugs, nicotine, or medicine, it usually has the last word, because it is quicker to see through self-deception than the mind, particularly if the mind has been trained to function as an alienated self. We may ignore or deride the messages of the body, but its rebellion demands to be heeded because its language is the authentic expression of our true selves and of the strength of our vitality.” From the book “The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting” by Alice Miller
Another truthful quote by Alice Miller comes to mind: “Children who have been beaten, humiliated, and abused, and who find no witness to come to their aid often develop a grave syndrome in later life: they have no knowledge of their true feelings, fear them like the plague, and are therefore incapable of recognizing vital connections.” — Alice Miller
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2022/05/swords-and-knives-review-of-alice.html
Violence is an Illusion or a trap and you will never find or maintain freedom through violence but it doesn't mean we give up working towards liberating ourselves and staying free.
I agree with Bill Maher that going to college can be a total waste of time and money.
"I wonder how the high colleges managed to produce so many high asses." Paracelsus
As long people's childhood repression goes unresolved -- they will be shackled into the chains of compulsion repetition -- and it doesn't matter how well anyone articulates very nice ideas... The problem is not lack of knowledge and educated people, there are plenty of educated people with intellectual knowledge, the problem is an emotional blockage with the so-called “professionals” or “educated people” hiding behind their rationalizations and seductive theories to protect themselves from having to face and feel their own emotional pain. It takes courage to see, face and feel our painful truths, intelligence alone is not enough; but it rather helps create seductive, rationalizations, theories, illusions, and lies.Dear J,
Thanks for the link, but the question NOW is how we get human beings to face and consciously feel their repressed emotions – to move through their repressed emotions -- and free themselves from the emotional prison of their own childhood.
As long as people’s emotions remain repressed they will be driven by them into compulsion repetition no matter how much we teach about the importance of respecting babies and children.
When people resolve childhood repression and are free from the emotional prison of their own childhood -- are incapable of exploiting anyone and the environment -- they will not hurt themselves or others and they will respect all beings, small and big.
The conversation about the effects of childhood repression in our society needs to start happening in the stage of the world, sooner rather than later, if we want to save ourselves and humanity from falling off the cliff and committing mass suicide.
Everyone is trying to change the world at the surface, especially so many people using the political machine and religion to manipulate the masses, making things worse in the long run, and no one wants to look at the root causes of how we got here?! Into this messed-up world! It’s very frustrating because trying to change the world at the surface, no matter what people do, the changes will always just be superficial and temporary. All I witness people doing is making a bunch of noise.
That's why I wrote my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions to show people how I liberated myself and be a support to others that still are in the same place I once was.
These words by Alice Miller that I quote in my book could not be truer:
“It is not true that evil, destructiveness,
and perversion inevitably form part of
human existence, no matter how often this
is maintained. But it is true that we are
daily producing more evil and, with it, an
ocean of suffering for millions that is
absolutely avoidable. When one day the
ignorance arising from childhood
repression is eliminated and humanity
has awakened, an end can be put to the
production of evil.”
— Alice Miller, Banished Knowledge, p. 143
Emotion for a narcissist equates to fuel. They want to hear you getting irritated. They want to get you annoyed. They want your voice to rise and see the tears of frustration welling your eyes. When they see this, it makes them feel so powerful.
Narcissists are not what they pretend to be. They are what they hide.
Not everyone staring at you is admiring you. Some are amazed you survived the traps they set for you.
Don't be afraid of losing people. Be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you.
For true healing to happen, we must have conscious access to our own personal truth.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2016/02/quotes-from-book-drama-of-gifted-child.html
.Evil is born anew with every new generation. Humanity is insane and this insanity will end only when humanity is wiped off the face of the Earth. Maybe, that's why they are creating AI to wipe off most of humanity...
Humanity is unconsciously and compulsively shackled into the chains of compulsion repetition...
Human beings are great at creating illusions. And the sharper their intellect is, the bigger the illusions they create. When it comes to humanity, nothing ever is what it seems.
Alice Miller: You write: “My main point in the allegory is that by necessity none of us are passengers anymore. Everybody’s crew.” I agree with you. But to become aware of the fact that our obedience learned in childhood doesn’t allow us to think freely needs probably more than many hundred years. I am not sure if the tortured planet leaves us the necessary time to understand this fact, to protest against it, and to become a conscious, responsible member of the crew."
No one can ever accuse me of being an obedient child! Thank goodness I had the courage to rebel against the system from a young age.
Having formal education or not has nothing to do with being a conscious person.
Adolf Hitler was emotionally blinded by the repressed emotions of the child he once was; just like the masses that followed him.
Society has not changed since then, and people still are emotionally blinded by the repressed emotions of the child they once were to follow dangerously repressed leaders into an abyss. Humanity is doomed.
As long people's childhood repression goes unresolved -- they will be shackled into the chains of compulsion repetition -- and it doesn't matter how well anyone articulates very nice ideas... The problem is not lack of knowledge and educated people, there are plenty of educated people with intellectual knowledge, the problem is an emotional blockage with the so-called “professionals” or “educated people” hiding behind their rationalizations and seductive theories to protect themselves from having to face and feel their own emotional pain. It takes courage to see, face and feel our painful truths, intelligence alone is not enough; but it rather helps create seductive, rationalizations, theories, illusions, and lies.
Alice Miller explains beautifully in her book For Your Own Good: hidden cruelty in child-rearing and the roots of violence page 42 and 43: "Just as in the symbiosis of the "diaper stage," there is no separation here of subject and object. If the child learns to view corporal punishment as "a necessary measure" against "wrongdoers," then as an adult he will attempt to protect himself from punishment by being obedient and will not hesitate to cooperate with the penal system. In a totalitarian state, which is a mirror of his upbringing, this citizen can also carry out any form of torture or persecution without having a guilty conscience. His "will" is completely identical with that of the government.
Now that we have seen how easy it is for intellectuals in a dictatorship to be corrupted, it would be a vestige of aristocratic snobbery to think that only "the uneducated masses" are susceptible to propaganda. Both Hitler and Stalin had a surprisingly large number of enthusiastic followers among intellectuals. Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self. Indeed, intelligence is capable of innumerable rationalizations when it comes to the matter of adaptation. Educators have always known this and have exploited it for their own purposes, as the following proverb suggests: "The clever person gives in, the stupid one balks." For example, we read in a work on child raising by Grünwald (1899): "I have never yet found willfulness in an intellectually advanced or exceptionally gifted child" (quoted in Rutschky). Such a child can, in later life, exhibit extraordinary acuity in criticizing the ideologies of his opponents--and in puberty even the views by his own parents-- because in these cases his intellectual powers can function without impairment. Only within a group--such as one consisting of adherents of an ideology or a theoretical school--that represents the early family situation will this person on occasion still display a naïve submissiveness and uncritical attitude that completely believe his brilliance in other situations. Here, tragically, his early dependence upon tyrannical parents is preserved, a dependence that--in keeping with the program of "poisonous pedagogy"--goes undetected. This explains why Martin Heidegger, for example, who had no trouble in breaking with traditional philosophy and leaving behind the teachers of his adolescence, was not able to see the contradictions in Hitler's ideology that should have been obvious to someone of his intelligence. He responded to this ideology with an infantile fascination and devotion that brooked no criticism.”
" . . . the anger felt by every individual person stems from the primary justified anger of the small child at the blows inflicted on it by the parents. The immediate expression of that anger is suppressed, but at a later stage this suppressed fury will be directed at innocent victims with uninhibited savagery." -- Alice Miller, "Free From Lies"
“If we hate hypocrisy, insincerity, and mendacity, then we grant ourselves the right to fight them wherever we can, or to withdraw from people who only trust in lies. But if we pretend that we are impervious to these things, then we are betraying ourselves.” Alice Miller Free from Lies: Discovering Your True Needs page 55