1. A Glimpse Behind the Mask: Mary Lou Retton’s Arrest
Yesterday, I saw a somber video of Olympic gymnast Mary Lou Retton being arrested for drunk driving. She was wearing an oxygen mask, unable to breathe on her own. As the police handcuffed her, she kept repeating: "Please don’t, I’m an Olympic gold medalist."
I remember her from the '80s. She was on top of the world. Now, she’s a ghost of that image—struggling to breathe, clinging to a past title that couldn’t save her from her own pain. It’s yet another example that fame and money don’t save you. Only freedom does.
Throughout my life, I never aspired to be rich or famous. I just wanted to own my home and to be free. Freedom has always been my only goal.
2. The Addicted Society: Why Repression Always Backfires
In my book A Dance to Freedom, I wrote:
“Repressing our fears and our anger always results in a backlash. We never know when it’s going to come, or how it will manifest itself, but it’ll definitely show up to fuck with us.”
Overachievers like Mary Lou Retton often try to prove their worth through medals, accolades, and public admiration. But those shiny symbols are often rooted in pain—in the desperate attempt to win the love and approval their parents could never give them.
“Athletes who take performance-enhancing drugs, workaholics who burn the midnight oil... actresses who sleep with people just to get the part—are all examples of how the perversion of idealization can get people into trouble.” (A Dance to Freedom)
As Alice Miller wrote, this is the life of "millions of people, brilliant, unconscious, running for the gold... and never feeling their sadness or rage about their parents who couldn’t love them as they were."
3. The Gifted Child and the Scapegoat: A Family Mirror for Humanity
Karen Hao recently spoke again about Sam Altman, the head of OpenAI, and how his sister Ann—the family scapegoat—is now homeless and struggling with mental health issues. I know this dynamic too well. In my own family, the “gifted” children received all the resources while I got the crumbs. If I hadn’t walked away, I could be in Ann’s place.
“The scapegoat carries the unspoken truth of the entire family system. They’re punished not because they lie, but because they won’t lie.”
That’s why I’ve been attacked so viciously. My presence exposes the truth.
At the community where I worked for nine and a half years before publishing my book, everyone loved me—until they realized my smile wasn’t fake like theirs. I had written a book exposing the lies and illusions of society, and suddenly I wasn’t "one of them."
They called me into HR meetings to provoke a reaction. My boss, who later died by suicide, tried to rattle me with lies. One HR woman asked me, "Where were you educated?" I said, "I’m self-educated." They tried every trick in the book to get me to self-destruct. But I stayed grounded. One resident asked how I was doing, and I smiled and replied, "I’m still standing."
Eventually, they fired me over the phone. I was at Discount Tires, getting new tires for my car. They left a voicemail saying not to return or I’d be escorted off the property. I knew it was their final trap—to bait me into a reaction they could criminalize. I never went back. I walked away with my dignity intact. I stayed free.
4. The Therapists, the Gurus, and the Cult of Comfort
In a letter to one of my readers, I warned him:
We have to become an enlightened witness to the child we once were, still inside us, and give her/him the love and attention that we deserved but never got if we want to be free.
Most people avoid this path. They surround themselves with therapists, gurus, or communities who bring a comforting meal to their prison cell—right when they had a chance to escape. As Alice Miller wrote:
“The prisoner may comfort himself with his food and shelter and thus miss his chance and stay in prison.”
5. The Global Stage: From Family Drama to Fascist Tech Power
Trump's new "Big Beautiful Bill" gives billions in contracts to OpenAI and Elon Musk—and grants them total freedom to operate without oversight. It’s the gifted child rewarded again, while humanity, the scapegoat, is set up to suffer.
We are ruled by repressed children playing with dangerous toys.
As Alice Miller wrote:
“Addiction is an attempt by a person in despair, who is not allowed to be in despair, to get rid of his or her memory, to forget his or her plight.”
6. The Only Way Out: The Dance to Freedom
I read recently that over 70% of Americans are on prescription drugs. Most people live in a fog of distraction and repression. As I wrote in A Dance to Freedom:
“We’re constantly told to let go of the past and live in the present moment. This is the exact opposite of what we need to do.”
To truly be present, we must confront the past. We must feel what we were never allowed to feel.
“The truth is always positive, no matter how much it hurts, because, without an awareness of our truth, we can’t truly heal.”
Healing doesn’t come from therapists or programs. It comes from self-confrontation. From walking alone through the fire. From finally saying: I see what was done to me. I feel the pain. And I will not betray myself anymore.
“When a mind is truly free, it can never be captured again.”
And that is why, no matter how much money or power they have, they will never win.
Blog post by Sylvie Shene – inspired by the wisdom of Alice Miller, and the courage to feel.
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