Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Coronavirus, Irrational Fears and Social Distancing

“It is not true that evil, destructiveness,
and perversion inevitably form part of
human existence, no matter how often this
is maintained. But it is true that we are
daily producing more evil and, with it, an
ocean of suffering for millions that is
absolutely avoidable. When one day the
ignorance arising from childhood
repression is eliminated and humanity
has awakened, an end can be put to the
production of evil.”
— Alice Miller, Banished Knowledge, p. 143

Because of my dyslexia writing is one of the hardest things for me to do in life and because of - I kind of -- I have given up on humanity -- I don’t see the point of forcing myself to write anymore!

But I have to write about the present crises of the coronavirus.

So many voices out there that all they do is make noise -- but not one single voice out there –mentions the fact that all crises like the coronavirus are caused by people’s repressed emotions.  
As long childhood repression is a taboo in our society -- people will be driven by the dead hand of their own repression into the state of repetition compulsion -- to unconsciously and compulsively -- to create crises and pandemics like the coronavirus.
The coronavirus is trying to wake up society -- our collective body -- from our deep collective repression, but I don’t think nothing will wake humanity up and crises and pandemics will keep escalating until the end of humanity -- because most people would rather kill and be killed -- than face and resolved their own painful repression. Humans are the most dangerous and emotionally blind or dumbest species on the Planet

I learned this after I published my book and I became the target of a mob of sociopaths at my job of nine and a half years.

As I wrote in my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions: 

“When you idealize your past, or ignore the painful truth by overachieving, hiding behind religious obedience or lashing out at scapegoats, you’re fighting a losing battle.

 What kind of life are you living? When you get addicted to the toxic cocktail created by pain, fear, shame, guilt, and repression — no matter how it manifests in your daily life — you’re living a futile existence indeed.

A life without freedom is ultimately a useless life because when you hide from the truth the body eventually rebels.

“Even if [the body] can be temporarily pacified with the help of drugs, nicotine or medicine, it usually has the last word, because it is quicker to see through self-deception than the mind, particularly if the mind has been trained to function as an alienated self,” Alice Miller writes.

“We may ignore or deride the messages of the body, but its rebellion demands to be heeded because its language is the authentic expression of our true selves and of the strength of our vitality.”55
These days, most of us are on a vain quest to improve ourselves. Self-help books and gurus are wildly popular.

We believe we can be saved by simple things such as affirmations and positive thinking, but to some degree, we end up like Lynne Rosen and John Littig, a husband-and-wife team of motivational talk-show hosts and life coaches who were found dead in their Brooklyn apartment after killing themselves with helium in June of 2013. Their own immersion in the positivity culture couldn’t save them.

Alice Miller started to understand why this is so, and we’re learning more all the time.

According to a Businessweek article that reported on the suicide of the positive pair I just mentioned, “A 2012 Canadian study, published in the Journal of Psychological Science, found a negative correlation between positive self-statements and mood in people with low self-esteem.

As lead researcher Joanne Wood of the University of Waterloo explained, those who try to pump themselves up with such phrases as ‘I accept myself completely’ end up feeling worse, in part, because affirmations conflict with their own view of themselves.

… As Dr. Wood and others have discovered in studying the psychology of self-esteem, what unhappy people need most is a chance to acknowledge their feelings of negativity.

”56 Alice Miller writes, “With all due respect for everything that has been said and written about the power of love, we should never forget that goodwill and devout wishing alone will not be enough to free a person to love if that person is in a state of unremitting internal war.

This desperate conflict would not be taking place if that person’s true self had not been suppressed in childhood.”57

Instead, too many of us think that simply praising ourselves or visualizing ourselves in perfect circumstances is all we need to do to change.

Even those who realize that real change is more difficult still take the easy way out and focus their energy on getting rid of symptoms, instead of searching out the root cause.

“There are plenty of means to combat symptoms of distress: medications, sermons, numerous ‘treatments,’ ‘miracles,’ threats, cults, pedagogical indoctrination, and even blackmail,” Alice Miller says.

“They can all work for a while, but only because they reinforce the repression and reinforce the fear of resolving it.

 … A lot of money and fame comes from this business of repression because it satisfies the longing of so many grown-up children: to be loved as a good child.

 In the long term, we have to pay a high price for this repression.”58

The typical methods people use to search for answers — which are really, ways to run away from the truth — are futile because our real, repressed story continues to attempt to make itself heard no matter what we do. Alice Miller believed that our true plight, the root cause of all our repeated problems, will keep trying to gain our attention in more extreme ways until we finally take notice.

This virus is forcing people to social distancing to protect themselves from being infected and in order to resolve childhood repression – we also must practice social distance – to protect ourselves from other people’s psychological viruses – psychological viruses can be as contagious, if not more contagious and dangerous then chemical viruses.

 If people while quarantining themselves read my book together with Alice Miller’s books, it could help them understand their emotions and consciously feel them within the context of their own childhood and trigger real healing!  

Society, our collective body, could come out of this pandemic as a changing society and save humanity from self-destructing, but I don’t hold my breath. And every one that dies will die in vain.

Everyone living in bubbles and with illusions --- the Coronavirus came to burst everyone's bubbles and illusions -- nature is demanding respect -- and for us to stop messing with it. But once this threat is over - humanity will go back to business as usual until a new threat arrives and this will go on until the end of humanity -- but nature will have the last word.

Hearing Dr. Phil on TV saying that people that are hoarding toilet paper and taking more than what they need are having irrational fears. Yes, but what are the causes of irrational fears?!

Irrational fears are caused by the unresolved repressed fears that now are being triggered by the present threat -- the Coronavirus.

It’s sad in our world repressed emotions are a complete taboo and no one wants to talk about it.

If people were able to understand these fears and consciously feel them within the context of their own childhood -- then they would be able to deal with the present fears caused by present threat rationally -- and take the precautions to take care of themselves -- and would not have irrational fears driving them to buy more then what they need -- they would not become hoarders of anything, EVER!

The fears caused by the present threat together with the triggered unresolved repressed fears that’s what causes irrational fears or panic attacks!

And that’s why people buy things like toilet paper compulsively to help them manage their overwhelming fears.

" Doctors have an unconscious fear of uncovering their own childhood hurts which keeps them from being as useful to their patients as they could be." Alice Miller 
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10151452109828922&id=723458921

As I wrote in my book: “Most people who search for answers never actually find them, because people suffering with their own repression are the ones who practice traditional therapies. 

Since the beginning of human history, priests, teachers, gurus, psychics, doctors, philosophers, and psychologists have all duped people into thinking they could provide real assistance, when it was never possible because the healers were also victims of their own childhoods.

Alice Miller saw the promise of psychotherapy to help people understand why they behave like helpless victims as adults and also to help them take responsibility for their actions. But she was disillusioned when she realized that practitioners couldn’t treat patients effectively as long as they failed to deal with their own repression.”

I have been practicing social distance most of my life, so it's really easy for me!

I practiced social distance all of my life because I’m mostly concerned about people’s unresolved childhood repression or we could say psychological viruses than any other viruses.

Childhood repression or psychological viruses are the roots of all societies’ maladies.

The great malady of our society, implicated in all our troubles and affecting us individually and socially, is the denial of childhood suffering.

When childhood suffering is denied, it does not go away.

It appears symptomatically in obsessions, addictions, violence, greed, deceit, and loss of meaning. Our temptation is to isolate these symptoms or try to eradicate them one by one, but the root problem is the denial of childhood suffering. 

The author in the article in the link below thinks the coronavirus should be a wake-up call for humanity, but I think nothing will ever wake humanity up from its deep repression. I have given up on humanity.

"The coronavirus did not manifest from nowhere. Our sadistic treatment and manipulation of animals for centuries have come back to haunt us. It is time for humanity to absorb the lessons of the animal world."

As you can see in the articles in the links below the coronavirus did more to temporally change human behavior and help the environment than Greta ever did with her preaching --- preaching never works.

As Italy quarantines over coronavirus, swans appear in Venice canals, dolphins swim up playfully
“Nature just hit the reset button” in the suddenly clear waters of Venice canals and off the coast of a locked-down Italy.

But it's only a temporary change - once the coronavirus is no longer a threat people will go back to business as usual.

Bill Maher posted on Facebook the words below, but he's another charlatan, like many out there, that say disconnect truths but is not one bit interested in connecting the dots and in true healing. "What if this virus - and others to come - is somehow connected to how much we've ratfucked the environment? 

When we upset one thing in nature, it tends to have repercussions down the line. One long fire season here in Cali then became the new normal. Is anything worth living like this? If - a hypothetical - they found that what went into making smartphones was part of the problem, would you give up your phone to be able to go to a bar? If you have to think about that, you've already lost your humanity. You're already a droid."

My answer to him @BillMaher The human mind is very sick and with the aid of technology we are going to destroy ourselves much faster. 

Did you ever receive my book A Dance to Freedom that I sent to you in 2015? My book can help heal the human mind. The coronavirus forcing people to stay home and while practicing social distance, if they read my book together with Alice Miller's books -- it could trigger true healing and save humanity from self-destructing. https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2015/03/free-speech-in-america-is-illusion.html



Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Using Childhood Traumas as an Excuse to Abuse and Manipulate Others

The exchange of words below explaining some people's bad behaviors and why they can be dangerous -- by using -- unresolved childhood traumas -- as an excuse -- for one's own bad behavior -- and to manipulate others.

Most people are unconsciously and compulsively looking for scapegoats to take revenge for the wrongs were done to them when they were defenseless little children and infants by their own parents or childhood caretakers.

This is why NOW I'm so careful with people that have unresolved strong repressed emotions.
Many people out there are dangerously repressed with time bombs in their brains that can go off at any moment.

"A nonabusive person doesn't use his past as an excuse to mistreat anybody. Feeling sorry for the abuser can be a trap, making you feel guilty for standing up to his abusiveness.

I have sometimes said to a client: 'If you are so much in touch with your feelings from your abusive childhood then you should know what abuse feels like. You should be able to remember how miserable it was to be put down to nothing, to be put in fear, to be told that the abuse is your own fault. You should be LESS likely to abuse anybody, not more so, from having been through it.'
Once I make this point, the abuser generally stops mentioning his terrible childhood; he only wants to draw attention to it if it's an excuse to stay the same, not if it's a reason to change."

The words below Alice Miller wrote in her book For Your Own Good” page 199 and 200 come to mind:

“Statistical studies are hardly the thing to make disinterested jurists into empathic and perceptive human beings. And yet every crime, by virtue of being an enactment of childhood drama, cries out for understanding. 

The newspapers carry these stories every day, but unfortunately, they usually, report only the last act.

Can knowledge of the underlying causes of a crime being about a change in the way justice is administered? 

Not as long as the primary concerns are to assign guilt and impose punishment. 
But someday it may be possible to gain an understanding of the fact that emerges so clearly in the case Jurgen Bartsch: the accused never bears all the guilt by himself but is a victim of a tragic chain of circumstances. 

Even so, a prison sentence is unavoidable if society is to be protected. 

But there is a difference between prison being used to punish a dangerous criminal according to the principles of “poisonous pedagogy” and human tragedy being perceived, therapy during confinement.” 

And like I wrote in my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusion   page 172, 173 and 174 

"The people who try to use and manipulate me usually realize their mistake pretty quickly, and either apologize or head for the hills.

My liberation has definitely given me added protection against sociopaths!

Resolving childhood repression is the vaccine against the charlatans of the world who exploit those who are still emotionally blinded by the unresolved, repressed emotions of the children they once were.

Once you’re free, your whole outlook on life is going to change. This quote, from a patient of Alice Miller’s, expresses what happens perfectly: “The world has not changed. There is so much evil and meanness all around me, and I see it even more clearly than before.

However, for the first time, I find life really worth living. Perhaps this is because, for the first time, I have the feeling that I am really living my own life.

And that is an exciting adventure. On the other hand, I can understand my suicidal ideas better now, especially those I had in my youth -- when it seemed pointless to carry on — because in a way I had always been living a life that wasn’t mine, that I didn’t want, and that I was ready to throw away.”80

I’ve removed all the barriers of false morality and am totally free to experience all my feelings, take them seriously and decide whom, if anyone, to share them with.

I’ve faced my past and can deal with my present circumstances in the context of growing awareness instead of childhood fears.

These words by Alice Miller express how I exactly feel: “If I allow myself to feel what pains or gladdens me, what annoys or enrages me, and why this is the case, if I know what I need and what I do not want at all costs, I will know myself well enough to love my life and find it interesting, regardless of age or social status. … I will know that I have lived my own, true life.”81
It really is a powerful feeling, and you’re likely to find yourself possessing a power that will be threatening to a lot of people. Society is on the side of the status quo, so be prepared.

As Alice Miller writes in Free from Lies, going against the parents “is a source of major alarm for others … They will sometimes mobilize all the forces at their command to discredit the former victim and thus keep their own repression intact.”82

But thanks to Alice Miller, I’m content to be who I am regardless of what other people think.
This passage, from Breaking Down the Wall of Silence, sums it up so well: “To live with one’s own truth is to be at home with oneself. That is the opposite of isolation. We only need confirmation when we are alienated from ourselves and in flight from the truth.

All the friends and devoted admirers in the world cannot make up for the loss.”83
When I die I will not be sad because I have truly lived and will die in freedom, no longer scared and no longer a captive of the emotional prison into which I was born.

What fulfills me now is my mission to bring this valuable information to other people, so they too can have a chance to liberate themselves. I also enjoy sharing my life with others who have the courage to open their eyes and who are able to really see and feel.

I want to make it clear that I’m not telling my story to get sympathy from the world. I’m purely doing it to introduce Alice Miller’s books to others, and to show how her books helped me break free.
I decided to go public with my story so others wouldn’t feel alone like I once did and to hopefully inspire people to gather the courage and strength to achieve their own freedom.

I constantly witness many people going public with their sad, tragic stories in an effort to manipulate people into feeling sorry for them and feeding their adult compulsions and perversions.

They don’t want the truth. They only wish to avoid their own pain. These people are exploiting the wounded children they once were, just like their parents or parent-substitutes exploited them when they were defenseless little children.

They keep themselves and others endlessly stuck in their childhood dramas, where they play either the role of the victim or the perpetrator.

Alice Miller has proven that we can unlock the emotional doors that hold us and start a glorious dance to freedom.

Knowing your own truth and living with it is the best gift you can give to yourself and to future generations.

The more healed, or free, you become, the less dependent you’ll be. And because people will sense that you’re not needy, the more people will be attracted to you. It’s kind of ironic, but autonomy is very attractive!

I hope you’ll take the challenge to free yourself at last. I hope you’ll end your own repetition compulsion naturally — without endlessly staying dependent on crutches like yoga, meditation, religion, 12-step programs, or other pain-numbing addictions. Starting today, right now, you
can use any trigger — a smell, a person, a situation, a touch, a place, a word or anything else that pushes your buttons — as an opportunity to be free.

You no longer have to give in to the part of yourself that wants to blame the triggers or hide behind quick fixes.

You now have all the tools you need to connect to something deep within you that needs to be confronted, no matter how tempting it is to find a scapegoat or run away.
I’m so grateful to Alice Miller for helping me free myself from my repressed childhood emotions that I’ve dedicated my life to offering emotional support to others.

I’m determined to help you get the information you need to free yourself from lies and illusions, so I’ll start you on your journey with these words from the woman who became my enlightened witness through her writings: “It is only after it is liberated that the self begins to articulate, to grow, and to develop its creativity.

Where there had been only fearful emptiness or equally frightening grandiose fantasies, an unexpected wealth of vitality is now discovered. This is not a homecoming since this home has never before existed. It is the creation of a home.”84 I believe in you, and I hope you’ll share your story with me.



Thursday, March 5, 2020

The wall of silence in the Media is Deafening

The wall of silence in our society is very hard to break through, especially in the media!
In the year 2003, I traveled to Portugal and tried to contact the media there. I wanted to go public with my experiences and bring awareness about all forms of child abuse, dyslexia, and untreated professionals. I never got a response. Portugal is a very secretive country, and the media is afraid to talk about secrets, especially if it involves a famous doctor. The media in Portugal protects people in power. As Alice Miller in her book Breaking Down the Walls of Silence: The Liberating Experience of Facing Painful Truth says: “… Rather than take the risk, they prefer to forgo information that might be of life-death importance for coming generationsSo in order not to have to call their own parents into question for a single moment, they cling to outdated, destructive opinions. …Clearly, the prospect of confronting one’s own personal history, in this case, is an alarming experience. And, as always, the fear of facts is stilled by a fascination with intellectual terms and abstractions aimed at concealing and masking the truth—the truth of facts that appear so threatening… At every attempt to share the new discoveries I made with the public, I ran up against the most determined resistance on the part of the media. It is true I can go on publishing these discoveries in my books, because my publishers are already aware of the growing interest in this topic. But there are other people who have important things to say, and they are dependent on the press. They and their readers rely on essential information not being torpedoed. All too often, however, the media buttress the wall of silence against which all those who have begun to confront their own childhood rebound.”
From 1998 through 2000 I tried to help by volunteering at the Perryville Women’s Prison in Goodyear, AZ, visiting inmates in prison for alcohol and drug violations. As Alice Miller said in her book The Truth Will Set You Free: Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self“Every criminal was humiliated, neglected, or abused in childhood, but few of them can admit to it.”
I have also been a sponsor for a Twelve Step meeting for teens. I was forced to quit because of the other sponsor, who was very controlling and domineering. Being with this sponsor was just like being with my family of origin. I was there really trying to be helpful to the teens.
The other sponsor had a hidden agenda, which seemed to be all about wanting to make herself look good. She had also a teen daughter who went to these meetings. She was there to see what her daughter had to say and what she would share at the meetings. Interestingly enough, her daughter would only share in the meetings if her mother for some reason could not attend. One of the reasons for two sponsors was in case one sponsor couldn’t attend, the teens would still have a meeting.
One day after I shared some of my experiences about being a teen, a teen in the group identified with me and started to open up. The other sponsor interrupted him because he broke the rule that, we were supposed to go around and wait for our turn to share, I said, “it's okay, let him share,” but she insisted on following the rules. I let it go. Of course, when the turn came for him to be able to share, he passed.
After the meeting I talked to the other sponsor and let her know that by enforcing the rules by interrupting the teen when he was sharing, she blocked that teen’s expression of his feelings, only resulting in him being more repressed. I explained that rules are created to help create order when there is chaos and that is important to know when it’s okay and even important to break the rules. Otherwise, the rules created to help us will keep us, prisoners. I also told her that probably we should look for another sponsor to take her place because the Twelve Steps Program suggests that mother and daughter should not attend the same meeting. She said that a Twelve Steps meeting is just a program of suggestions.
At this, I pointed out that when it’s convenient to her, she says it’s a program of suggestions; but when she wants to be controlling, she calls it rules. In the next meeting, she came with some of her friends from the program to give her support against me. I felt alone like I used to feel in my family of origin.
In the next meeting, I let everyone know that because of personal reasons I no longer was going to be a Twelve Steps teen sponsor. I also communicated that if any teen wanted to talk to me they could call me at home. Some of them did call and told me the only reason they were going to our meeting was because of me and said they no longer were going to the meeting. I heard that soon after I left, the meeting died.
That’s the last time I went to Twelve Steps meetings. The Twelve Steps refuse to look at the real causes, putting only focus on changing people's behavior and what I have witnessed in Twelve Steps meetings is that People change one addiction for another. Just as C.G. JUNG and ALICE MILLER say:
“Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.” – C.G. JUNG
“Problems cannot be solved with words, but only through experience, not merely corrective experience, but through a reliving of early fear (sadness, anger).” – ALICE MILLER
This article by Dr. Alice Miller “The Longest Journey” articulates very well the traps of Spirituality/Religion/Morality. My experience has been the same as Dr. Alice Miller’s, it has been a very long journey, and it has taken me also all of my life to finally free myself of all the crutches and get two healthy legs to stand on.