Thursday, October 29, 2020

Spoiling Children is a Form of Child Abuse

"I think that violent teenagers are demonstrating what happened to them emotionally when they were small. I have no doubt about that. It might not always be a harsh discipline but in most cases, there is emotional neglect, lack of authentic communication, of warm, friendly contact. If this lack is also covered by what is called "spoiling" (buying a lot of expensive objects to replace love), the child is often unable to detect the neglect and stays bound to denial. Anyway, every child must deny the pain in order to survive. Only in adulthood is it possible to realize the truth. But the more the childhood history is repressed, the more its cruelty denied, the less these young people are able to feel, to confront the actual reasons for their distress, the stronger they feel urged to act destructively. They have not always conscious memories of what happened in their childhood, especially in infancy, but this knowledge is stored up in their body's cells and, amazingly enough, they threaten others exactly the same way as they were threatened at the beginning of their life. Unfortunately, the common, ever-present avoidance of the issue of "childhood" doesn't make things easier. I discuss this problem in my book Paths of Life, 1999, and The Truth Will Set You Free, 2002. 

“Opposing Miller are those who claim that a law forbidding parents to hit their children brings us uncomfortably close to totalitarianism. Many people believe that smacking children remains a private right, and would have grave misgivings if government legislation intruded into an area as sacrosanct as the home. Her answer is emphatic: "You can't claim the right to play with nuclear weapons on your territory because they belong to you. Similarly, society's interests must go before your pleasure and your habits, and the government must defend these interests. “Parents may claim the right to hit children when they are small as though they are property. Yet as soon as those children become violent delinquents or drug abusers the same parents are eager to turn the problem over to society. The anonymous taxpayer has to fund the hospitals and prisons these once so eagerly disciplined teenagers will need." 

"The countless letters I received later informed me about the huge territory of suffering in childhood that almost all of us have endured and almost all of us keep DENYING over their whole lives by paying for this denial with their health. Or by letting others, mostly their own children, to pay. Hence over the 30 years, I came to understand that to heal the wounds stemming from child abuse we must give up this denial by overcoming the fear of being punished again and take the risk of feeling not only the grief but also and above all the RAGE about the way we were treated in childhood." Alice Miller 

Thursday, September 24, 2020

At Crossroads -- Pick the Road Less Travelled or the Road most Travelled

Dear R,

Thank you for writing sharing with me your dilemma.

In the year 2000, I was in a similar place as you. Recently I wrote to a person in the same crossroads as you and I will share with you the same words I wrote to her. 

I can imagine the pressures you are in!

You are at the age that you have to make some decisions about what road to take in your personal life?!

Professionally, you have fulfilled yourself and you have plenty of money to take care of yourself financially for life, but in your personal life, you have not made a decision about what you really want?!

You have been on the fence at crossroads for over 10 years and now the time has come to get off the fence and choose the road you want to take – the road most traveled -- get married and maybe try to have a kid or two –  this road is crowded and you will always have plenty of company and distractions from your inner self -- or choose the road less traveled -- but this road is much less crowded and we have to learn to stand on our own two feet and walk alone -- to face our inner self -- and walk through all the repressed fears and all that is repressed in us -- but at the end of the road -- on the other side we feel so good and light!

I was in a similar place at your age with Marty -- we both were sitting on the fence for many years, about the same amount of time as you! Now looking back -- I was attracted to Marty -- because he was scared of commitment, like me, if not more, and I was safe with him because he would never ask me for a commitment!

Everyone before Marty that I went out with -- the moment they would start talking about commitment and marriage I would break up with them, but with Marty, I fooled myself, that I wanted a commitment with him, not realizing at the time, that if he was the one asking for a commitment, I would probably have been the one to leave like I did many times before!

I started pressuring Marty to get off the fence! I kept asking him that he needed to figure out what he wanted in life?! And if I was not part of what he wanted in life and he could not make a commitment, then we should break up, but he could not make a decision either way and I was constantly talking about breaking up and that triggered his fears of being alone, he could not make a commitment, but he also was very afraid of being alone, so when he realized it, that eventually, I would leave him for good!

That’s when he found this young naïve woman to distract himself with, so he would not have to deal with his fears of commitment and the fears of being alone.

That’s not how I envisioned the end of our relationship, I wanted a clean break up and not with another woman getting in the middle – the new woman felt like a knife -- and felt like he decapitated our relationship with this woman – and gave our relationship a very violent end.

But now I understand people that are afraid of being alone they can’t leave a relationship without having someone new.

Because they can’t face being alone for even one second. I have never been afraid of being alone and so I’m proud of always having clean breakups before Marty.

I always was able to leave a relationship and be alone and never needed to find someone new in order to leave a present relationship.

Now, I’m glad he left the only way he was able to because if we had made the commitment to be with each other, we would have reenacted our childhood dramas and be trapped together in the emotional prisons of our childhoods -- would have been a repetition of the past -- I’m so happy I didn’t repeat the past like most people in our society do!

I’m so glad I was forced to travel alone on the road less traveled and forced to walk through all that was repressed in me!

Now, I’m at the end of the road, but I’m free, peaceful, and feel so good and light! This is worth more than all the money of the world put together. This is one of the reasons I was targeted by the narcissist sociopaths at the upscale gated community where I worked for nine and a half years because what I have, it cannot be stolen or bought with money and they were so jealous and envious of me that they wanted me dead, in jail or mental hospital, but when was one of them to lose his mind and self-destructed all become silent and now is a big cover-up.

Marty still is in his emotional prison regretting leaving me and has the illusion he could have made it work with me -- if he had stayed with me -- but the truth is -- without resolving his childhood repression -- he will never be happy -- alone or with anyone else.

Making a decision is not going to be easy for you! If you chose the road less traveled you will have to say goodbye to some people and set them free to travel the road of their choice and you will have to deal with your fears of being alone. 

If you choose the road most traveled you might feel you have to keep a distance from some people, either way, it’s not going to be easy on you!

Whatever the road you choose I understand and I hope you pick the one that is better for you! And I hope is not driven by fear, but by love.

Whishing courage and strength in your personal journey,


Saturday, August 22, 2020

Adolf Hitler: How Could a Monster Succeed in Blinding a Nation?

 "What good fortune for those in power that people do not think." - Adolf Hitler, as quoted by Joachim Fest

Is it still possible in today's Germany to escape the realization that without the mistreatment of children, without a form of child-rearing based on violence to inculcate blind obedience, there would not have been a Hitler and his followers? And thus not millions of murdered victims either? Probably every thinking person in the post-war period has wondered at some time or other how it could have happened that a human being devised a gigantic machinery of death and found millions of helpers to set it in motion.

Yet the monster Adolf Hitler, murderer of millions, master of destruction and organized insanity, did not come into the world as a monster. He was not sent to earth by the devil, as some people think, nor was he sent by heaven to "bring order" to Germany, to give the country the autobahn and rescue it from its economic crisis, as many others still believe. Neither was he born with "destructive drives", because there are no such things. Our biological mission is to preserve life, not to destroy It. Human destructiveness Is never inborn, and inherited traits are neither good nor evil. How they develop depends on one's character, which is formed In the course of one's life, and the nature of which depends, in turn, on the experiences one has, above all, in childhood and adolescence, and on the decisions one makes as an adult.

Like every other child, Hitler was born innocent, only to be raised, as were many children at the time, in a destructive fashion by his parents and later to make himself into a monster. He was the survivor of a machinery of annihilation that in turn-of-the-century Germany was called "child-rearing" and that I call "the concealed concentration camp of childhood," which is never allowed to be recognized for what it is.

I have described in detail how he made this concealed horror manifest in his Third Reich in my book For Your Own Good: Hidden cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence (Farrar Straus Giroux, 1983) and In my other books, for example, Banished Knowledge and The Untouched Key (both published by Doubleday). There the reader will also find a detailed line of reasoning to support everything which, for reasons of space, I can only allude to here in a very abridged way.

In order not to die, all mistreated children must totally repress the mistreatment, deprivation, and bewilderment they have undergone because otherwise the child's organism wouldn't be able to cope with the magnitude of the pain suffered. Only as adults do they have other possibilities for dealing with their feelings. If they don't make use of these possibilities, then what was once the life-saving function of repression can be transformed Into a dangerous destructive, and self-destructive force. In the careers of despots such as Hitler and Stalin, their suppressed fantasies of revenge can lead to indescribable atrocities. This phenomenon doesn't exist anywhere in the entire animal kingdom, for no animal is trained by its parents to deny its nature completely in order to become a "well-behaved" animal - only human beings act In such a destructive way. According to the reports of Nazi criminals (and also of soldiers who volunteered to fight in Vietnam), their unconscious programming to be violent began in every case with a brutal upbringing that demanded absolute obedience and expressed total contempt for the child. I know of no example of this which is so well-documented and which demonstrates so clearly the consequences of the psychological murder of children - bringing along with it a form of collective blindness - than the fateful success of Adolf Hitler.

The Führer once told his secretary that during one of the regular beatings given him by his father he was able to stop crying, to feel nothing, and even to count the thirty-two blows he received.

In this way, by totally denying his pain, his feelings of powerlessness, and his despair- in other words, by denying the truth - Hitler made himself into a master of violence and of contempt for human beings. The result was a very primitive person, incapable of any empathy for other people. He was mercilessly and constantly driven to new destructive acts by his latent feelings of hatred and revenge. After millions had been forced to die for this reason, those feelings still haunted him in his sleep. Hermann Rauschning reports nocturnal paroxysms of screaming on the Führer's part, along with "inexplicable counting", which I trace back to the counting he did during the beatings of his childhood. Hitler did not invent fascism; he found it, like so many of his contemporaries) prefigured in the totalitarian regime of his family. The National Socialist version of fascism, however, does bear unmistakable traces of Hitler's childhood. But his early experience was by no means an exception. Thus, neither Gerhart Hauptmann nor Martin Heidegger nor many other celebrated intellects of the day were able to see through Hitler's madness. To do so, they would have had to be able to see through the madness of their own upbringing.

Hitler could make Europe and the world into the battlefield of his childhood because in the Germany of that time there were millions of people who had experienced the same kind of upbringing he had. Although not necessarily conscious of the fact, they took the following principles to be self-evident:

  1. Not life but order and obedience are the highest values.
  2. Only by means of violence can order be created and preserved.
  3. Creativity (embodied in the child) represents a danger for the adult and must be destroyed.
  4. Obeying one's father absolutely is the highest law.
  5. Disobedience and criticism are unthinkable because they are punished with beatings or the threat of death.
  6. The living, vital child must be turned as early as possible into an obedient robot, a slave.
  7. Undesirable feelings and real needs must therefore be suppressed as vigorously as possible.
  8. Mothers must never protect their children from punishment by the father but after each incidence of torture must preach to them to honor and love their parents.

Fortunately, there were persons now and again with whom a child could find refuge from this totalitarian regime, and perhaps even experience love, respect, and protection. On the basis of these good experiences, even simply on the basis of the comparison they provided, a child could at least pass inward judgment on the cruelty endured and not want to inflict it in turn later on. But when there were no witnesses to come to the rescue, the child had no choice in this bizarre scenario but to stifle every natural reflex such as anger or even laughter, and to practice absolute obedience daily in order to keep the father's menacing behavior within bearable limits. It was this kind of early character training that Hitler was later able to exploit. In strict accordance with this system of child-rearing he then developed his Nazi ideology, which had the following practical consequences:

  1. The will of the Führer is the highest law.
  2. The Führer will forcibly create order and make Germany into the paradise of the Aryans, the master race.
  3. Those who submit like robots to his orders will be rewarded.
  4. Whoever dares to offer criticism will be sent to a concentration camp.
  5. Jews and gypsies must be annihilated - men, women and children.
  6. The disabled and mentally ill are likewise to be put to death.
  7. Poles and Russians are fit to become useful slaves.
  8. Free art is dangerous and "degenerate"; like every other form of free creativity, It must be persecuted.

Without the numerous documentary films that attest to the frenzied acclaim Hitler received, no one today would believe that a madman with this ideology of contempt for human beings could generate so much enthusiasm. How was it at all possible that Hitler found such an immense number of followers? By promising his people a solution to all their problems and by offering them a scapegoat? Certainly. But that alone would not have been enough. In order to use untold numbers of people as marionettes, he had to make his promises in the style of the domineering, violent father most of his followers knew, feared, and admired.

From the history of human sacrifice - from cannibalism to the Aztecs - we can learn how some religions have sanctified such acts in order to exonerate parents' crimes against their children. Whoever reads this history with open eyes is struck again and again by the same pattern: "If I do to others what was once done to me, then I don't need to feel all the pain I would otherwise have to experience. If I put everything in ideological or religious packaging and repeat all the lies those around me have been taught to believe, I will have many followers. If, in addition, I - like Hitler - make use of my acting talent and imitate the manner of the threatening father whom almost everyone once believed blindly and absolutely and whom everyone feared, then I'll be able to find countless helpers for every conceivable crime - all the more easily, the more absurd the crime."

The famous Milgram experiment, in which participants complied with instructions given by an authority figure to administer electric shocks of increasing intensity to other participants, has proved this very convincingly. For many adults, formerly obedient children, are just waiting for a legal form of discharge of the rage they pent up decades earlier. In the mistreatment of their own children, known as "child-rearing," or in wars and genocide, society offers them this discharge and the culturally specific label to go with it.

What point is there for us today in learning about Hitler and his history? For me, the main point is this: our knowledge will serve as a warning against our blindness and encourage us to give it up once and for all and to struggle against collective repression. This is what I do consistently in all my books in order to help people understand the psychodynamics of the mistreatment of children and its immeasurable danger for society, as demonstrated by Hitler's case. My explanations are by no means intended to suggest pity for a man as merciless as Hitler.

it was in large part owing to Hitler and his history that I became aware of the dangers of our traditional morality. We are exhorted to honor our parents and never question them no matter what they have done. Yet when I realize that millions of human beings had to die so that Adolf Hitler could keep his repression of childhood trauma intact, that millions were subjected to humiliation in concentration camps so that he never had to recognize how he had once been humiliated, then I believe that one can't point out these connections often enough in order to shed light on this unconscious production of evil. How should young people be expected to recognize and reject inhumanity and crime if these continue to be disguised instead of being pointed out as plainly as possible? Only when young people are permitted to know exactly what happened and how it could happen, only if they don't allow anything to stifle their curiosity and are not afraid of the truth, can they free themselves from the burden placed upon them by their forebears' blindness.

If Hitler's name Is no longer taboo in Germany, then these findings will also be able to bring new knowledge to light and create a new stimulus to understanding. The greatest obstacle In this regard is to deny the mistreatment one suffered as a child and to defend oneself against it at the expense of others: of children, of subordinates of partners, or of voters. As recently as 1997, more than half of the parents in West Germany were in favor of corporal punishment as a means of bringing up children - in spite of the many years of effort on the part of the Child Protection League to enlighten the public. Where does this persistent lack of awareness stem from? Why don't these parents know that physical or - as the case may be - psychological punishment constitutes degradation and mistreatment of children and always, sooner or later, has destructive consequences, whether visible or concealed? Why don't they know that with their demonstrably false claim that striking children is absolutely necessary and completely harmless they are affirming, preserving, and perpetuating a destructive tradition?

They don't know this because they are familiar from their own experience only with this form of child-rearing and had to learn at an early age to regard it as normal and harmless. In their eyes, violent methods are the only effective corrective for a child's behavior. For this reason, they construct complicated theories to explain Nazi Germany's murder of millions. That seems easier to them than to experience the pain and degradation they once felt at being beaten as children even though this could unlock the door to awareness, an awareness that would protect their children from mistreatment and themselves from their blindness as parents and voters. If they are in government, then their awareness would perhaps also save entire nations from wars and other senseless sacrifices. Countless human beings have already been killed in wars whose instigators didn't want to realize they were carrying dynamite which they were constantly trying to get rid of at the expense of other people in order to take revenge for old, highly personal wounds. Faced with even the merest possibility of a nuclear war, we must not allow ourselves to ignore this knowledge any longer. And yet we do just that: innumerable experts and officials occupy themselves daily and hourly with the consequences of child abuse without being able to know and see these consequences for what they are.

Even the most macabre childhood doesn't exonerate a criminal from the guilt that consists in his destruction of life. As an adult he has the opportunity of confronting his childhood, of not denying the horror he endured then, of experiencing the hatred that was repressed and understanding its justification. Hatred experienced consciously Is only a feeling, and feelings don't kill. But destructive actions blindly directed at ersatz objects are deeds which can cost human beings their lives and for which the perpetrator must bear the blame.

Perhaps our grandchildren will be able to say; "What good fortune that we weren't beaten like our grandparents and now are able to see things much more clearly than they did. If being beaten in childhood had been harmless, they wouldn't have been blind to Hitler's contempt for human beings; they would have seen through it immediately and rejected it, as our children do when confronted with acts of cruelty. Children who are permitted to defend themselves don't become destructive. It Is evident that destructiveness is not the inevitable fate of humankind, for the loving treatment of children could banish it from the world. The "destructive drive" slumbers in children who were once mistreated and who later don't want to know what happened to them in their past. We ourselves have no need to strike our defenseless children; we can't even imagine doing that, even when we're tired and have no patience for their questions. After all, there are so many other ways to treat children that are truly productive, respectful, and not destructive.

It is just as impossible for us to imagine having been fascinated by a Hitler. People who were treated with respect as children, who weren't drilled to become robots with the aid of mistreatment, will never want to die out of "faithfulness to the Führer" or send thousands of human beings to Stalingrad against all reason just because some madman planned it. But Hitler's generals stood at attention In the Fürher's headquarters, and all counter-arguments dissolved into fear and mental paralysis or, on the other hand, into enthusiasm when they heard him (the father) speak. This disastrous political blindness that cost millions of people their lives proves conclusively what our grandparents so hotly denied: that in every case, physical as well as psychological abuse of the child is not only harmful but highly dangerous. Not only for the individual but under certain circumstances for whole nations.

Alice Miller, 1998

Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Ex-Marine Shatters Myth of Joining the Military

In spite of his training to turn him into a mindless machine, he was able to hold on into his soul--- and be authentic --- and not become a soulless monster. The security business attracts a lot of ex-military men and women that their souls have been murdered -- ready to follow orders to destroy others on command like robots. At my job of nine and a half years, one of these trained killers, robots, or mindless machines from the military was put in my team by the security company to sabotage me and destroy me from within.
My ex-boss, a middle-aged white man and an ex-sheriff! They treated me like a criminal and they accused me of making threats, but look who was the criminal and going around making threats to kill people if they didn't comply with his commands! If it was me, the little woman to commit a crime my name and face would have been splashed all over the news stations! And then all probably go on TV talking about how disturbed the little woman was -- to discredit me and my book --and make a name for themselves by standing on my head. And all probably say that you need God in your life, my ex-boss was a Mormon, a man of God, but he was the one to lose his mind, but now is a big cover-up. I could see their games and traps so clearly. I was their target to destroy, but when was one of them to self destruct, all became silent and no one cares that these criminals with their projections and lies -- I lost my job and more than half of my income -- AND they could have destroyed my life completely. There is no humanity! Most people are all fake and pretenders -- acting as if personality pretending to be good people -- but are wolves in sheep's clothing. I'm done with humanity! Humanity is on the path to self destruct and with the aid of technology is going to happen much faster! And there is nothing I can do besides smiling and waving at those that pass by me following a leader taking them to an abyss. I will keep sharing my experiences and psychological discoveries with anyone that listens, but who wants to listen to someone that once made a living as a topless dancer and now as gate attendant to upscale gated communities that in most people's eyes are nobodies and could not possibly have anything of importance to tell anyone! So I just smile and wave! AND enjoy my new found freedom. Sad for them, but happy for me!

Friday, June 26, 2020

The Irish Slave Trade

The human history, of all races, everywhere is very ugly. Most people's objective, no matter what race, is not freedom for themselves and others. Most people's objective is to one day own their own slaves. This is what most people, no matter of race, is fighting so hard for! Most  people want to be on top, no matter what race, and they don't care who they step on to get to the top! 
To the assholes at my job of nine and a half years, my life didn't matter either!

Daniel Wissert added a new photo to the album: Irish Lives Matter too (1625) 
The Irish slave trade began when 30,000 Irish prisoners were sold as slaves to the New World. The King James I Proclamation of 1625 required Irish political prisoners to be sent overseas and sold to English settlers in the West Indies. By the mid-1600s, the Irish were the main slaves sold to Antigua and Montserrat. At that time, 70% of the total population of Montserrat were Irish slaves.
Ireland quickly became the biggest source of human livestock for English merchants. The majority of the early slaves to the New World were actually white.
From 1641 to 1652, over 500,000 Irish were killed by the English and another 300,000 were sold as slaves. Ireland’s population fell from about 1,500,000 to 600,000 in one single decade. Families were ripped apart as the British did not allow Irish dads to take their wives and children with them across the Atlantic. This led to a helpless population of homeless women and children. Britain’s solution was to auction them off as well.
During the 1650s, over 100,000 Irish children between the ages of 10 and 14 were taken from their parents and sold as slaves in the West Indies, Virginia, and New England. In this decade, 52,000 Irish (mostly women and children) were sold to Barbados and Virginia. Another 30,000 Irish men and women were also transported and sold to the highest bidder. In 1656, Cromwell ordered that 2000 Irish children be taken to Jamaica and sold as slaves to English settlers.
Many people today will avoid calling the Irish slaves what they truly were: Slaves. They’ll come up with terms like “Indentured Servants” to describe what occurred to the Irish. However, in most cases from the 17th and 18th centuries, Irish slaves were nothing more than human cattle.
As an example, the African slave trade was just beginning during this same period. It is well recorded that African slaves, not tainted with the stain of the hated Catholic theology and more expensive to purchase, were often treated far better than their Irish counterparts.
African slaves were very expensive during the late 1600s (50 Sterling). Irish slaves came cheap (no more than 5 Sterling). If a planter whipped or branded or beat an Irish slave to death, it was never a crime. 
A death was a monetary setback, but far cheaper than killing a more expensive African. The English masters quickly began breeding the Irish women for both their own personal pleasure and for greater profit. Children of slaves were themselves slaves, which increased the size of the master’s free workforce. Even if an Irish woman somehow obtained her freedom, her kids would remain slaves of her master. 
Thus, Irish moms, even with this newfound emancipation, would seldom abandon their kids and would remain in servitude.
In time, the English thought of a better way to use these women (in many cases, girls as young as 12) to increase their market share: The settlers began to breed Irish women and girls with African men to produce slaves with a distinct complexion. These new “mulatto” slaves brought a higher price than Irish livestock and, likewise, enabled the settlers to save money rather than purchase new African slaves. This practice of interbreeding Irish females with African men went on for several decades and was so widespread that, in 1681, legislation was passed “forbidding the practice of mating Irish slave women to African slave men for the purpose of producing slaves for sale.” In short, it was stopped only because it interfered with the profits of a large slave transport company.
England continued to ship tens of thousands of Irish slaves for more than a century. Records state that, after the 1798 Irish Rebellion, thousands of Irish slaves were sold to both America and Australia. There were horrible abuses of both African and Irish captives. One British ship even dumped 1,302 slaves into the Atlantic Ocean so that the crew would have plenty of food to eat.
There is little question that the Irish experienced the horrors of slavery as much (if not more in the 17th Century) as the Africans did. There is, also, very little question that those brown, tanned faces you witness in your travels to the West Indies are very likely a combination of African and Irish ancestry. In 1839, Britain finally decided on its own to end its participation in Satan’s highway to hell and stopped transporting slaves. While their decision did not stop pirates from doing what they desired, the new law slowly concluded THIS chapter of nightmarish Irish misery.
But, if anyone, black or white, believes that slavery was only an African experience, then they’ve got it completely wrong.
Irish slavery is a subject worth remembering, not erasing from our memories.

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Letter to Andrew Yang

Before Mr. Yang dropped out of the presidential race I wrote to him the letter below. I thought I would publish it here on my blog. I totally agree with him that giving a basic income is a good idea. It could prevent a lot of desperation and violence in our society because many become violent out of desperation to fulfill basic needs.
Dear Mr. Yang,
I have been trying to ignore this itch that I need to write to you, but it doesn’t go away! So here it goes!
At my job of nine and a half years in 2014, after I published my memoir A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions -- I became the target -- of a mob of malignant narcissists, sociopaths, assholes or whatever you like to call them. And since then I have given up on humanity – I think it has passed the point of no return.
In 2016 I wrote to the campaign of Hillary and the Director of Correspondence of Hillary Clinton wrote back thanking me on her behalf for sending her my book and the open letter to the media. I would send you a copy of my book too, but like I said I have given up on humanity and even dough -- you seem to be more authentic -- I don’t have much hope you will pay attention and listen, but if you like to read my story of true liberation -- let me know -- and I will be happy to send you a copy.
You are welcome to read my letter to Hillary and their response in the link below.
Hillary didn’t have the courage -- to use my story -- to bring attention -- to the dangers of childhood repression -- in our society -- and how Donald Trump was able to exploit his supporters’ unresolved repressed emotions to mobilize them to vote for him.
We need a candidate with courage -- to take the risk -- and start -- the conversation -- of the dangers of childhood repression -- on the stage of the world – how people are emotionally blind -- and let themselves be exploited -- by demagogues -- like Donald Trump – and people are driven by the dead hand of their own repression -- to vote against their best self-interest -- hurting themselves and others.
If you have the courage to share the spotlight -- and use my story of true liberation – to bring attention to the dangers of childhood repression in our society – it might pay off for your campaign – by triggering people in a good way --- as Donald Trump did in a bad way --- and bring a lot of attention -- to your campaign -- I will make the best case why giving $1000 to every America is a great idea, not only, because of automation, but also would take care of most people’s basic needs and give some courageous people the room and a safe space to resolve their own childhood repression and become a real change in our world.
Of course, some would lack the courage to face their own repression and use the money to distract themselves instead.
You can count on my vote.
Good luck with your campaign,

Thursday, June 4, 2020

Violence is the Problem

Someone shared the video above on Facebook Saying: "In case for some reason you haven't figured it out, the organizations calling themselves Black Lives Matter and Antifa, as well as the supporters and "allies" of both of those groups, are the biggest part of the problem. They are not part of the solution. No way, no how, not even a little bit."

YouTube deleted the channel of Atheism is Unstoppable, even though I didn't agree with everything he said, he did say a lot of half disconnected truths and his videos were very entertaining! YouTube should never silence voices just because we don't agree with them. Anyway, I found in the link below a video of the black woman confronting the BLM protestors that Atheism is Unstoppable shared on his YouTube channel that now as you see is no longer available on You/tube! Book burning and censorship it's so wrong!

I agree! The black woman in the video is correct in almost everything she is saying! It's a violence problem in our society, period! And affects all races!

Actually! The real root of the violence we witness in our society is the unconscious or repressed anger. Anger only becomes dangerous when it is repressed or unconscious and directed vicariously at substitute figures or scapegoats. As Alice Miller wrote in her article What is Hatred? "I too believe that hatred can poison the organism, but only as long as it is unconscious and directed vicariously at substitute figures or scapegoats. When that happens, hatred cannot be resolved. Suppose, for example, that I hate a specific ethnic group but have never allowed myself to realize how my parents treated me when I was a child, how they left me crying for hours in my cot when I was a baby, how they never gave me so much as a loving glance. If that is the case, then I will suffer from a latent form of hatred that can pursue me throughout my whole life and cause all kinds of physical symptoms. But if I know what my parents did to me in their ignorance and have a conscious awareness of my indignation at their behavior, then I have no need to re-direct my hatred at other persons. In the course of time, my hatred for my parents may weaken, or it may resolve itself temporarily, only to flare up again as a result of events in the present or new memories. But I know what this hatred is all about. Thanks to the feelings I have actively experienced, I now know myself well enough, AND I HAVE NO COMPULSION TO KILL OR HARM ANYONE BECAUSE OF MY FEELINGS OF HATRED."

The real problem in our society is childhood repression. People of all races are unconscious and compulsively looking for scapegoats to take revenge for the wrongs done to them when they were defenseless little children. 

You have to be constantly on the lookout no matter who we interact with, and race has nothing to do with it. Of course, over the years minority groups have been easy targets to turn into scapegoats for those in power positions. 

In the workplace, I have been the target of people's unconscious or repressed hatred from all races, white, black, brown, and red trying to make me a scapegoat -- using lies and mind games -- to get me to react and say the wrong thing to try to trap me in the race trap. 

The media don't care about truth or facts and enlightening the public! People in the media are like vultures thirsty for blood.

As long childhood repression is a taboo in our society -- it will never be real change -- no matter who holds the power --- it will always be one group of people trying to dominate and oppress another group.

Most people are a bunch of opportunists exploiting every tragedy and don't give a shit about anyone else but themselves.

"The roots of violence are NOT unknownThe problem is that people focus on the stems and the leaves." No, the roots of violence are NOT unknown

I completely agree with the comment below someone wrote on Facebook:

"Just so you know, I think the cop that killed George Floyd was a psychopath. I mean that literally. It disturbed me about a week ago when I read an article by someone in one of the psychological professions saying that a primary difference between psychopaths and sociopaths is that psychopaths are born that way. They said it's genetic, in other words. I don't buy that. Far as I've ever seen there's no evidence. I've been looking at violence and trying to understand the reasons it exists since Aiyana Gauvin was murdered, tortured to death really, by her parents in 2005. She was a four-year-old girl from Lafayette if you've forgotten or didn't know.

The conclusion I've reached - and I'm open to change if ever real evidence to the contrary ever shows up - is that killers and psychopaths aren't "born", they're made. They're created. Either by family members or someone else close to them. And I mean when they were kids. "Society at large" plays a role, but mostly because of the fact that it turns a blind eye, basically.

That same article said that all kids are naturally 'sociopathic' just from the standpoint that they are all "self-focused", I think it said. It went on to say that most kids gradually grow out that phase but psychopaths never do.

The thing is: Americans have like many places around the world regard people 18 and older to be adults. Maybe more than anything else that just means that the concept of personal responsibility comes into full force, then. I agree with that idea and believe it's the only way things really *can* be.

I think little kids are a lot like billiard balls basically just reacting to whatever forces are applied to them. "Children reflect the treatment they receive", I think is one way it's been put. If that sounds to you like an argument against the concept of free will, I agree with you. People like Sam Harris argue that even adults lack free will, that everything everyone does is just a cause-and-effect chain reaction.

Maybe he's right, maybe he's not, but I absolutely believe that "society" (I kind of hate that word but it's all I can think of that fits) has no choice but to hold adults personally responsible for their behavior. Once you turn 18 you can no longer blame your parents or your priest or your football coach - or a group of people for that matter - for anything.

The corollary of course to that is that with people under 18 we have to cut them some slack. The closer to 18 they are the less slack we should maybe give them, but I think it's important to keep in mind that "punishment" really just doesn't work. And that includes when applied to adults.

The fact is that nobody's ever figured out what else to *do* with murderers and other criminals except to put them in jail. Well or kill them. And yeah, people get a kind of revengeful satisfaction in seeing "justice served" and all that, I understand. But punishment has never "fixed" anybody. It easily changes short term behavior, but in the big picture, it really doesn't do anything, at least not in a positive direction.

Anyway, this whole thing comes down in my opinion to something that can only be solved by prevention, not reaction after the fact. Wikipedia gives an FBI statistic saying an average of 450 children are killed by their parents annually. What I think people have *got* to wake up to is that it's not the dead ones that anybody has to worry about, it's the countless thousands that survive. Of course only a fraction of those turn on society. Most of them end up just turning on themselves. But there's no social justice in that, either."

Also, these words written on Facebook are very accurate: "What I do agree with her about is her notion that parents need to quit fucking up their children so much. Most of us, it seems obvious, see fucking up our kids as a God-given right, same as freedom of the press or just the pursuit of happiness in general. They're *our* property, after all, not the government's, so by simple logic alone we may twist and distort them into being as much like us as we can possibly manage if we want. We can do it to our heart's content just like our own parents did to us, and nobody can tell us any differently. That's the way it's always been.
Yes, it's true that government pretty much all over the West has, over time, stepped in and through things like 'education' begun to do a lot of the fucking up for us and on our behalf, and that certainly needs to be looked at too, but I still think it starts at home. 

...The thing with how people fuck up their own kids is no different, except that it's both more important and harder to directly demonstrate. You could look into a microscope and actually see germs, for instance. Brain scans will at least occasionally show differences in brain structure between 'normal' people and psychopaths, but according to neurologist Johnathon Pincus who interviewed and studied the histories of American killers for decades, people who kill are affected by not just "severe abuse" as kids but "mental illness" and brain damage as well. Of course, there are those who would say that the latter two are the frequent result of the former, and I am among those people, but the point is that the connection between the mistreatment and broader social ills of pretty much any kind you care to imagine is scientifically just a much fuzzier, much more difficult thing to actually show concrete proof of. It's easier to blame 'racism', for instance. Or 'The Patriarchy' or you name it.

...Evolutionarily, which is not an actual word according to two different spellcheckers now, people alive today are identical to those who saw witches under every rock a few hundred years ago, both in Europe and the US. Witches still present a threat in some cultures around the world, the most famous I can think of are the child witches of Africa, but I'd bet there are more in other places if people would look.

At any rate, I think the concept of "fighting evil things in parallel" falls short. That is, saying "Yeah, child abuse sucks I agree but right now racism, misogyny, the far-right and all that other kind of evil stuff needs fought a whole lot worse" is a distraction and a waste of time because in the big picture it really amounts to nothing but a fool's errand."

The words above could not be truer! My older sisters, in their 80s now, still TODAY believe the problems of some of my family members are caused by someone casting a spell on them!  

People love to focus on symptoms only. No one wants to look in the mirror and deal with the root causes of social ills.

Friday, May 22, 2020

Don't make the mistake of labeling people as good or bad

There's is no such thing as good or bad people.

There are unconscious or repressed people acting as if personality pretending to be good people, but are wolves in sheep's clothing, that can turn against you at any moment and doing their evil acts behind closed doors without witnesses.

And there are unconscious people that can't act or pretend and they do their evil acts in the open and usually get caught and end up in jail.

It's the level of repression that makes some people very dangerous! And some people are not as dangerously repressed.
And of course, there are a few of us that have taken responsibility for our own childhood repression and come from a place of honesty and authenticity.
Humanity is corrupted to the core everywhere! You can't escape corruption!

I will hold on to my little corner here for as long as I can! And enjoy my life NOW that my mind is free. Once a mind is truly free it can never be captured again.

Humanity at larger has passed the point of no return and this madness will only stop when humanity is wiped off from the face of the earth.

Wednesday, May 20, 2020


I made a comment on the YouTube video OUT OF SHADOWS OFFICIAL

And someone left a comment with the link below:…/fall-cabal-vide…

If you want to understand the cult of trumpism you have to watch the videos. The brainwashing and mind control is so powerful! If I didn’t see things clearly I would have become a trumpist!

Here is the comment I left in my response to watching all the videos.

@rowingtothedream: I watched all the videos except number 5 because it has been removed by YouTube. It was very interesting to watch!

I know the words written by Vi king are true because since I published my memoir sharing my life experiences and psychological discoveries, I have been ostracized, harassed, persecuted and the target of psychological warfare. 

If I had written a book with same old recycled pretty lies and illusions passed down to us for millions of years, like many best-selling authors out there, that all they do is hide the real state of affairs. 

I would still be loved at my job of nine and half years and most likely promoted with a big raise – and maybe my book would have become a bestseller already. By the way, Oprah is the biggest charlatan promotor out there!

Charlatans all help each other and kiss each other's asses by promoting each other’s BS to exploit the emotionally blind public. Nothing ever is what it seems.…/communities-are-micros-o…

In our society, if you speak the naked truth and expose the real state of affairs of what really goes on behind closed doors, those with power, they will mobilize all the forces at their command to try to silence you.…/big-cover-up-by-sociopat…

When it comes to politics, the left, and the right, they are both just different ends of the same stick; they both are fighting for power and money. And, they both use half disconnected truths mixed with pretty lies, pretty illusions and catchy slogans for brainwashing and mind control to mobilize the masses to join their political cults and vote them into power. 

And if they feel threatened by a person that can expose their pretty lies and dirty games, they will join forces to destroy a person, a common enemy, they fear can expose their lies, illusions, and dirty games, like I was, they were people from the left and the right working together very hard with a very well-orchestrated psychological warfare to try to silence me and discredit me and my book, so they could go on with their lies and illusions as usual.

As long most people in our society are blind by the repressed emotions of the child they once were, always, will be just two choices to vote for, pure evil and the lesser evil. 

The fight we are witnessing in the stage of the world is not between good and evil, it’s between pure evil and the lesser evil, and they both are just driven by the repressed fears of the child they once were to gain as much power and money to escape from having to re-experience the powerless and the fears of the child they once were!

 Most people rather kill and be killed than face and feel their own childhood repression. We live in a world of puppets and puppeteers.…/the-media-creates-false-…

The biggest threat to humanity -- is people's repressed emotions of the child they once were blinding them. If people were not emotionally blind, they would be able to see the lies, illusions, and all the traps society constantly putting in front of them. And yes, an emotionally blind humanity with the aid of technology will destroy itself much faster. As we are witnessing…

Don't Hold your Breath

M: I have to escape from Europe. It is the home of eugenicists who leaked to the other new continents conquered by them, USA and UK at its leadership. They continue to pose a serious danger to existence.

Sylvie: Humanity is corrupted to the core everywhere! You can't escape corruption! I will hold on to my little corner here for as long as I can! And enjoy my life NOW that my mind is free. Once a mind is truly free it can never be captured again. Humanity at larger has passed the point of no return and this madness will only stop when humanity is wiped off from the face of the earth.

M: Agree. Too many blind and corrupt. Some awakening is happening and I hope it reaches a critical mass before they wipe life off the planet.

Sylvie: Don't hold your breath -- there are very few people waking up -- some people are good at deceiving, pretending and appearing to be waking up, but it's not true. 

These words Alice Miller wrote to me, come truer every day! "I have learned over the years of my work on the internet that there are readers who SEEM to understand SOME of what I have written, at least intellectually, but they are still so afraid of their very cruel parents and of their repressed FEELINGS of rage towards them that they are constantly looking for scapegoats.

They thus live in a continual confusion pretending that they are healed and even offering help and empathy to others. But eventually, they use unconsciously other people (even the ones who are quite friendly to them) as a poisonous container like their parents did to them, and if the offended people begin to defend themselves they can become very mean.
I can only urge you to trust your feelings and to NOT offer your empathy and interest to everybody just because they say they read and understood everything I have written. In most, of the cases, it is a lie. 

To understand my books means to overcome the fear of one’s parents, to honestly feel the justified rage TOWARD THEM, and to no longer use others to getting free from the accumulated rage.

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Open Letter to the Media

Since writing the letter to the media below in 2015, a new wrinkle in my story unfolded in March 11, 2016, that by odd coincidence was my birthday, it came to my attention that my old boss, a branch manager for the security company that employed me, robbed a bank in Chandler and killed himself in a standoff with the local police. Here is proof I was dealing with sociopaths of the worse type! They treated me like a criminal, but look who are the criminals! And isn’t interesting that the media never revealed the bank robber’s name! I’m sure they are protecting the security company he worked for, it would not look good for a security company that one of his top managers was robbing banks on the side! Read more here
My name is Sylvie Imelda Shene and I think I have a story for you.
For nine and a half years, I worked as a gate attendant manager for a wealthy community in Scottsdale. I was a hard worker and an easygoing supervisor, and I always had a smile on my face. In fact, I got along so well with some of the residents that they often invited me to parties and hired me to watch their homes and pets whenever they went away, sometimes for six months at a time. I always handled myself with integrity and a great attitude, and it was greatly appreciated by many of the residents.
Last summer, I published a book about how to recover from childhood trauma, using my own experiences growing up poor in rural Portugal, working as a topless dancer, and discovering the groundbreaking works of psychologist Alice Miller. My book, A Dance to Freedom, is part memoir and a part self-help book and I’m proud to say that it’s touched many people around the world.
Working on this book was a labor of love for me. I’m not a wealthy person, but I managed to save and raise (through the crowdfunding site Indiegogo) the money I needed to get the book out into the world. It took me five years and four ghostwriters to get it right, but it’s all been worth it.
Many of the residents in the community where I worked supported me in this endeavor, and I’m sincerely grateful for their love and support. Others, however — including the property manager of the community and the security company that employed me — weren’t as enthusiastic about the project. They all started treating me differently after I published my book. They couldn’t stand the fact that someone who they considered inferior — a guard gate manager — could get a real book out into the world and understand the human condition so much that their own lies and illusions were exposed.
It was this combination of jealousy and fear that led a group of sociopaths to begin a campaign of emotional harassment against me. One resident returned the book she bought from me with toilet paper in it. The property manager started a campaign to get rid of me and, with the help of some board members, created a messy package receiving procedure they hoped would frustrate me into quitting. And a new employee who wanted my job called other guards at their homes to see if they had anything bad to say against me. The sociopathic behavior ramped up almost daily, and after six months they decided to fire me without cause.
It saddens me that someone can actually lose their job for exercising their right to freedom of speech. I think what my former employer and co-workers did was a disgrace, and I want as many people to know about it as possible.
If you think you can help me get my story told, I’d really appreciate it.
Thanks so much for your consideration.
Sylvie Imelda Shene
Thank you, Jekaterina. Connected stories like mine need to be told, but sadly most people in the media are only interested in disconnected stories of victims without resolution they can exploit for pure sensationalism, they are like vultures. And they feel threatened by connected stories like mine, because stories like mine, makes people look in the mirror to question themselves, their own parents and people in power position standing in symbolizing their parents. AND WHO WANTS TO DO THAT? Most people are still scared little children afraid of being punished if they dare to speak the naked truth and expose the real state of affairs.
David Lynch, thank you for your comment, but the reason people in the community read my book was that they all knew I used to be a topless dancer!!! They didn’t have a problem with that!!! They thought it was cool!!! Some used to be customers and they knew me from the club! I was treated like I was a star!!! I was very well known in this town! I had a good reputation for being honest and a clean dancer. They thought they were getting a disconnected story, like many out there, but my story is connected with true liberation at the end. My book is a mirror and they didn’t like their own reflections!!! They rather destroy me than face their own painful truths. They were uncomfortable with my knowledge and my understanding of the human mind that I could see through their masks and facades. Just like Donald Warner Parker wrote in his review of my book: “What more can you give a person and this world, for that matter, than sharing your own hard-earned wisdom, experience, and truth through telling your own story and holding up a mirror for others to capture their own reflection in it, while at the same time providing the vital information of Alice Miller’s body of work to free themselves from their denial and repression and the illusions that keep it intact. It is so true what you wrote in your Chapter False Hope on page 126, “Ultimately I realized that self-help books and 12-step programs offer a false hope at best. I’m convinced that people who put their faith in these types of things — or in psychologists, psychiatrists, or any other cult leader for that matter — are avoiding the real causes of their problems and are just masking their symptoms instead. The seductiveness of the quick fixes offered by traditional treatments and therapies is very powerful and even if they don’t work they offer at least temporary relief from the fear and pain of our abused younger selves.” You make it crystal clear in your book how Ed Sweet played such an important role in the development of it and how grateful you are to him. Once again my Best Wishes to you and Congratulations to you as well on the accomplishment of your passionate mission to get to people the vital and lifesaving information, guidance, and companionship they need to free themselves of lies and illusions.”
You are right they rather replace me with someone that is emotionally blind and mindless shill/crony they can feel superior to and they can fool.
David Lynch: Sylvie, you got set up to fail. This is a common tactic employed by power-hungry narcissists for getting rid of employees that they no longer want around by creating a “no-win situation” where everything you do right is ignored and minimized and everything you supposedly do wrong is magnified, exaggerated and maximized. You were unlucky enough to get targeted by a lying sociopath who saw an opportunity to get rid of you once he learned from your book that you had a history of working as a stripper. Armed with that knowledge it would then have been very easy for him to rally up an army of mindless supporters by telling lies that you were also involved in prostitution/porn etc. He character-assassinates you by painting you as a deadly threat to the morality and good name of their supposedly perfect little community and all his sheeple follow along like the mindless hypocrites that they are cos they want to please Big Daddy. He gets rid of you because you are independent and he has no control over you and replaces you with a mindless shill/crony who will be loyal to him and thereby increase his power-base. The moral is always be very careful about who you share your story with because there are vicious narcs everywhere just waiting for any opportunity they can get to do harm to other people. I don’t see your story getting any media attention though because it is so depressingly common. However, if you felt strongly enough about it then you could use (or misuse) social media to anonymously let the world know about what this man is really like.
Read David Lynch’s original comment here.
Also, read more comments here and here
Also, you might find interesting the letters I wrote to Bill Maher in the link below:
You also might like reading Open Letter to Jimmy Kimmel