Friday, December 7, 2018

Will Never be Peace on Earth without Resolving Childhood Repression

I agree with the written words below by Krishnamurti. Without self-knowledge and facing our own repression will never be peace on Earth --- I did my part --- I resolved my childhood repression -- and wrote a book sharing the keys on how to resolve our repression and inner conflicts to create a peaceful world for ourselves -- even if most people -- in the external world remains in a constant war unconsciously and compulsively looking for scapegoats to take revenge for the wrongs done to them when they were defenseless little  children. 
Now please tell me -- why so few people -- and none in the media -- or in the stage of the world has paid attention to my book -- a connected story with a true resolution -- but instead they pretend not to see me. 
You would think if people were interested in a peaceful world would like to talk with someone that has found the keys and knows how to work them to create peace for ourselves.
"because hunger is the consequence of economic disruption caused by our psychological states, greed, envy, the will to harm, the possessive sense." this is the reason the property manager at my job of nine and half years started the plot to destroy me because she was driven by envy and greed. she wanted everything for herself and didn't want me to have more than her. She wanted me to die slowly on the sidewalk. 

"To bring peace to the world, to end all wars, it takes a revolution in the individual, in you and me.

An economic revolution without this internal revolution would make no sense, because hunger is the consequence of economic disruption caused by our psychological states, greed, envy, the will to harm, the possessive sense.

In order to put an end to the torment of hunger and wars, a psychological revolution is needed, and few of us agree to see that fact. We will discuss peace, plans, we will create new leagues, the united nations indefinitely, but we will not break peace, because we will not renounce our situations, our authority, our money, our possessions, Our stupid lives.

Counting on others is totally futile; others cannot bring us peace. No political leader will give us peace, no government, no army, no country.

What will bring us peace will be an internal transformation that will lead us to external action.
This internal transformation is not isolation, a setback to action. On the contrary, there can be no effective action only when thought is clear, and there is no clear thought without knowledge of self.
Without Self-knowledge, there is no peace." Krishnamurti

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Most Groups Become Cultish

VA: I love your book. I would like to be a Facebook friend with you or to be a member of a group. Do you provide therapy?

SIS: Thank you for reading my book and for writing. I don’t provide therapy, but I do try, as time allows me, to write back to everyone that writes me.  

I wrote my book sharing my journey to emotional freedom -- to be a therapy -- and a support to aid others liberation from their emotional prisons.

I don’t run any therapy groups, because I don’t believe in group therapy. From my experience I find it to be a distraction to our emotional work – to experience our authentic feelings -- and no matter how good the intentions of the group creator are – most groups become cultish and a trap keeping people stuck in the state of dependence and they don’t encourage or aid a person’s autonomy. 

VA: I sure do completely Agree with you. By the Way, thank you for your Quick response. I just don't really know how to heal. I feel sort of lost. Looking for solutions. Your book is wonderful. I have never seen so much clarity and courage, especially when disclosing holy cows as AA or Al-anon. You are brave and you are unique. Thank you

SIS: You're welcome. I wish I could hold everyone's hand through the repressed excruciating painful feelings of the child they once were, but I can't --- in the end -- we are all alone -- if we want to truly liberate ourselves --- we must find the courage and strength to allow ourselves to consciously feel all the repressed emotions of the child we once were, as present circumstances trigger them to the surface.  Wishing you courage and strength

VA: So It is. Your courage is very inspiring. That’s enough. Thank you ๐Ÿ˜บ๐Ÿ‘ and for your honesty is so very important because simply it is so extremely rare since as you say as soon as one enters into a relationship in therapy or group immediately we are triggered to reenact the roles and traumas or even worse and unfortunately more common. Someone there is more than eager to make living out of others misery and thus subconsciously prolongs the unhealthy state of dependence.
SIS: You seem to understand. Congratulations!

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Freddie Mercury And His Phenomenal Love For Cats.

I love cat people! How did I not know that he loved cats?  

Now I'm in love with Freddie Mercury! He dedicated a whole album to his cats and all cat lovers out there! I'm honored! 

I too when traveling I call my cats! Even though now I don't have a room for each cat, I used to have a room in my first house just for the cats! 

My cats are my family too, that's for sure! I'm alive because of my cats and the reason I wrote my book A Dance To Freedom is that of my love for animals because I  want to create a safer world for all animals and children. 

My next book Reenactment I'm going to dedicate it to my cats too! 

I want to break free
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
You're so self satisfied I don't need you
I've got to break free
God knows, God knows I want to break free
I've fallen in love
I've fallen in love for the first time
And this time I know it's for real
I've fallen in love yeah
God knows God knows I've fallen in love
It's strange but it's true
I can't get over the way you love me like you do
But I have to be sure
When I walk out that door
Oh how I want to be free baby
Oh how I want to be free
Oh how I want to break free
But life still goes on
I can't get used to living without living without you
Living without you by my side
I don't want to live alone hey
God knows got to make it on my own
So baby can't you see
I've got to break free
I've got to break free
I want to break free yeah
I want, I want, I want, I want to break free

Saturday, November 3, 2018



Noam Chomsky describes beautifully in the article in the link above how the media manipulates the public.  When Donald Trump says the Media is the enemy of the people -- he is right -- he accuses the media of doing what he also does. Donald Trump doesn't like to be challenged and the media also doesn't like to be challenged and this is why no one in the  media talks to me because my story challenged them.  They are each other’s mirrors and both don’t like their own reflections and hate each other.

The media met their match in Donald Trump, and the real losers are the public that is lost in smoke and mirrors doing exactly what the puppeteers want them to do. We live in a world of puppets and puppeteers. 

"7. Keep the public in ignorance and mediocrity

Making the public incapable of understanding the technologies and methods used to control and enslavement."

This is why the media was not interested in my story because my story enlightens the public and then their manipulation strategies would be exposed and no longer be able to exploit the public emotional blindness to get rich and gain power over the masses.

"10. Getting to know the individuals better than they know themselves

Over the past 50 years, advances of accelerated science has generated a growing gap between public knowledge and those owned and operated by dominant elites"

And this is why they saw an enemy in me that need to be destroyed because after reading my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions, they knew I could not be controlled and manipulated, so they needed to erase me.

And this is also why most mental health professionals can't be trusted because they use their psychological insights to manipulate their clients and keep them in the state of the child or dependency for easy exploitation and to keep control over them.

Like I experienced with the psychologist Olane Roos or Liliane Rombout in the Netherlands that went to great lengths to mess with my mind like changing her name.

Friday, November 2, 2018

The Media Only Pays Attention to Extreme Cases of Child Abuse

Iowa Infant Found Infested With Maggots ‘Died of Diaper Rash,’ Prosecutor Says; Parents Charged With Murder

The media only pays attention when escalates to extreme cases of child abuse, but ignore the plight of almost every child in our society that is subjected to ordinary abuse every day under the disguise of “upbringing” and “discipline”. 

For the media to recognize this ordinary abuse, they would have to face their own childhood repression and question their own parents. And that’s the last thing they want to do. The repressed fears of the child they once were at their parents can stay with a person for the rest of their lives. This is why it’s so hard to demolish the media’s wall of silence. Just as Alice Miller wrote in her website:

"Humiliations, spankings, and beatings, slaps in the face, betrayal, sexual exploitation, derision, neglect, etc. are all forms of mistreatment, because they injure the integrity and dignity of a child, even if their consequences are not visible right away. However, as adults, most abused children will suffer, and let others suffer, from these injuries. This dynamic of violence can deform some victims into hangmen who take revenge even on whole nations and become willing executors to dictators as unutterably appalling as Hitler and other cruel leaders. Beaten children very early on assimilating the violence they endured, which they may glorify and apply later as parents, in believing that they deserved the punishment and were beaten out of love. They don't know that the only reason for the punishments they have ( or in retrospect, had) to endure is the fact that their parents themselves endured and learned violence without being able to question it. Later, the adults, once abused children, beat their own children and often feel grateful to their parents who mistreated them when they were small and defenseless.

This is why society's ignorance remains so immovable and parents continue to produce severe pain and destructivity - in all "goodwill", in every generation. Most people tolerate this blindly because the origins of human violence in childhood have been and are still being ignored worldwide. Almost all small children are smacked during the first three years of life when they begin to walk and to touch objects which may not be touched. This happens at exactly the time when the human brain builds up its structure and should thus learn kindness, truthfulness, and love but never, never cruelty and lies. Fortunately, there are many mistreated children who find "helping witnesses" and can feel loved by them."

Thursday, November 1, 2018

The Creation of a Home

I have created a home for myself where every being living here can be free to live and die in peace. If you like to create a home for yourself where you are free to be yourself -- to live and die in peace – read my book: A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions.

Like I wrote in my book page 174 and 175: “Starting today, right now, you can use any trigger — a smell, a person, a situation, a touch, a place, a word or anything else that pushes your buttons — as an opportunity to be free.

You no longer have to give in to the part of yourself that wants to blame the triggers or hide behind quick fixes. You now have all the tools you need to connect to something deep within you that needs to be confronted, no matter how tempting it is to find a scapegoat or run away.

I’m so grateful to Alice Miller for helping me free myself from my repressed childhood emotions that I’ve dedicated my life to offering emotional support to others. I’m determined to help you get the information you need to free yourself from lies and illusions, so I’ll start you on your journey with these words from the woman who became my enlightened witness through her writings: “It is only after it is liberated that the self-begins to articulate, to grow, and to develop its creativity. Where there had been only fearful emptiness or equally frightening grandiose fantasies, an unexpected wealth of vitality is now discovered. This is not a homecoming, since this home has never before existed. It is the creation of a home."

Monday, October 15, 2018

Open Letter to Cristiano Ronaldo

Dear Mr. Ronaldo,

I’m extremely dyslexic and writing is one of the hardest things for me to do in life.  I can’t afford to pay an editor at the moment to edit my writings, so I apologize if you have difficulty understanding my letter. 

To tell you the truth I have given up on humanity. I think humanity has passed the point of no return.

But I feel compelled to reach out to you.

These words by Leo Tolstoy could not be truer: “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” This is the problem with our society. No one wants to look in the mirror and face themselves. 

If you like to take the attention from yourself and put it on someone else that should be held by Portuguese society to a higher standard than athletes. 

Ask all the talking heads on TV -- why are they protecting Dr. Julio Macchado Vaz with a wall of silence

I have been trying to tell my story since the year 2000, I went to Portugal and contacted the media there to go public with my story and I even tried to contact a lawyer there to sue this doctor for malpractice, not because I wanted money, but to expose the harm done by the so-called professionals/experts that are "supposedly" to help the public, but no one got back to me, so I came back to America and started thinking about writing a book to tell my story, share my life experiences, and psychological discoveries. I published my book  A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusion in 2014 -- and I hope you read it. 

Just like here in an America that was an open secret in Hollywood of Bill Cosby's problems with women. 

I know without a doubt that there is also an open secret in Portugal of this doctor having sex with his patients. 

They don't pay attention to my story, because my story is a connected story and I own it, so they feel threatened by my story. Owned and connected stories like mine need to be told, but sadly most people in the media are only interested in disowned and disconnected stories of victims without resolution they can exploit for pure sensationalism, they are like vultures looking for dead bodies. 

And they feel threatened by owned and connected stories like mine, because stories like mine, makes people look in the mirror to question themselves, their own parents and people in power position standing in symbolizing their parents. AND WHO WANTS TO DO THAT?! Most people are still scared little children afraid of being punished if they dare to speak the naked truth and expose the real state of affairs.

This quote by Alice Miller that I included in my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusionspage 76 -- it's so true: “To many people, it seems easier to take medication, to smoke, drink alcohol, preach, educate or treat others, and prepare wars than expose themselves to their own painful truth.”

I don’t know the details of what happened in the hotel in Las Vegas, only you and Ms. Mayorga know the real truth.  I read the whole article Her Name Is Kathryn The Woman Who Accuses Ronaldo of Rape by Spiegel online and there is no doubt that something happened.

I used to be a topless dancer for 18 years in a nightclub in Phoenix Arizona. And I met many young famous athletes, like you, and movie stars – suffering from the illusion that success, their talents, money, and fame alone would liberate them -- and  they felt  were superior to everyone else – suffering from grandiosity -- these words by Alice Miller could not be truer: "The grandiose person is never really free; first because he is excessively dependent on admiration from others, and second, because his self-respect is dependent on qualities, functions, and achievements that can suddenly fail." From the book The Drama of the Gifted Child: The search for the True Self  Page 36

All the other dancers were always totally star struck by rich and famous people like you -- and they all flocked to the rich and famous people's table – to me famous people are just like everyone else and I treat them the same --as everybody else -- I don't care how talented or how much money they have -- so most rich and famous people didn't spend much time talking with me and would move on to the other girls that give them the special treatment they thought they deserved.

The look of Ms. Kathryn Mayorga in the picture below, she is totally star struck by you!
Yes, a lot of young girls look at famous and rich guys like you as a path to freedom and salvation, because like you  -- they also suffer from the same illusions that money and fame alone is the path to freedom and salvation.

In 2012 I got into a debate with an ex-dancer from Israel that used to dance in New York City where she confessed to having sex for money with customers, she met at the club.

You can read more about this debate with the ex-dancer on my blog Comments and thoughts on the “Doll” Documentary” by Zohar Wagner that gives insight into these dangerous exploitative relationships.  

Most dancers would enter mutually into exploitative relationships -- men trying to exploit them sexually and the dancers try to get as much money out of them as they possibly could and they did not have boundaries or limits in what they did in order to get to the men’s money, so they were each other’s victims. 

But this doesn't mean it's okay to force yourself on them and not accept their no at any time -- if they change their mind -- and ask you to stop.

While growing up in Portugal I had many experiences with Portuguese boys that they didn't know what the word NO meant! I talk about it in my book -- that I hope you read -- a little bit about my experiences with many Portuguese boys that didn't know the meaning of the word NO.

I also shared in a comment in the article in the link below of an experience with Portuguese boys in the Summer of 1983 while I was in Paris. "..while I was in Paris, France one summer I was working in a restaurant and Portuguese people, that, “look like nice people”, came to eat and they invite me to go with them for coffee and me thinking -- for being with those from my own country --- it would be okay and safe, but when I was inside the car with them, they started to disrespect me and when they stopped at the traffic light I got out of the car really quickly. I am sure if I had not gotten out of the car I would have been raped by those Portuguese young people that looked like they were nice guys, that day I learn to avoid and be careful with Portuguese people because most of them have no respect for themselves and others. ..."

Even if Ms. Kathryn Mayorga accusations are not true. You are in the stage of the world and all eyes are on you! This can be an opportunity for you and your millions of followers to become real and open the path for all humanity to free themselves from lies and illusions.

Is not just dancers that get into these exploitative relationships. Everywhere I look I see people in this type of exploitative relationships and not in an equal partnership between adults.

I am pretty sure most people, if not all the people, around you, are around you, because, they just want to exploit you, stand in your head --  take ownership of your story -- and make as much money out of your story and as they possibly can -- if you lost all of your money -- most, if not all around you would leave. 

I have been living in Arizona since 1985! And I didn't hear of you until my niece that lives in Portugal came to visit me in Arizona -- while she was here -- she mentioned to me that you paid a woman to have a child for you --- that gave me a small window right away to a troubled soul.

A seeing and a feeling man would never pay a woman to bring a child into the world to separate from the mother at birth. And a seeing and a feeling woman would not EVER agree to carry a pregnancy to term for money and give birth to a new being to give away after birth like a puppy or a kitten -- babies are not puppies or kittens ---  the trauma of separation from the mother is a hard trauma to heal and a seeing and a feeling man and woman would NEVER traumatize a baby like that.

I read a little bit of your history that you are, like me,  the product of an unwanted pregnancy --  this pain of being unwanted is hard to heal -- and we go through life feeling unwanted everywhere we go --  it took me more than 40 years to heal this trauma -- and everytime I'm rejected in the present moment -- it is still a painful reminder -- of the pain of being an unwanted and rejected child. 

I read your mother even thought about aborting you; you are unconsciously and compulsively reenacting your childhood traumas -- traumatizing yourself and others like you were traumatized when you were a defenseless little infant. 

You have been repressing this pain with the aid of football, money, and fame, but now with Ms.Mayorga accusation of rape -- she is triggering this pain to the surface and bringing you to your knees -- not to be brought closer to god like religion wants you to believe -- but to face your childhood repression and gain ownership of your own story and free yourself from the emotional prison you were born in. 

Your fans and the people around you don't care about you and how much you suffered as a child because they don't want to be reminded of their own painful childhoods. They are just interested that you win games for them, protect your image, so they can keep on going on, as usual, to exploit you to distract themselves from facing their own painful truths.

Like I wrote in my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions page 39 and 62: "It’s also important to realize that unresolved trauma will always catch up with us. “Merely forgetting early traumas and early neglect is no solution,” Alice Miller writes. Instead, we have to go back in time and deal with the true feelings we had as children. Only then can we free ourselves from overwhelming fear, shame, guilt, anger, and frustration. Getting to that point is a lot easier when you have someone who can help you understand how present events trigger repressed feelings. 

Alice Miller calls the type of person who can help an adult face their childhood traumas an enlightened — or knowing — witness. Ideally, parents should fulfill the role of helping witnesses while their children are still little —  ...but too many mothers and fathers are too traumatized themselves to provide the patience and loving support their children need. 

When most people grow up they unconsciously and compulsively reenact their own childhood traumas with people who have nothing to do with those painful scenarios, such as their own kids. 

Parents who have suffered are compelled to make sure that others suffer, too, and the cycle can go on for eternity. 

...Abused and otherwise traumatized children are forced to repress their true feelings unless they’re lucky enough to find someone to comfort them. 

But because enlightened witnesses (and even helping witnesses) aren’t always readily available, most of us develop what Alice Miller calls a false self — usually for the sake of our parents — only to pay for it later in life. 

In an article entitled “The Essential Role of an Enlightened Witness in Society,” Alice Miller writes that “it seems clear to me that information about abuse inflicted during childhood is recorded in our body cells as a sort of memory, linked to repressed anxiety. If, lacking the aid of an enlightened witness, these memories fail to break through to consciousness, they often compel the person to violent acts that reproduce the abuse suffered in childhood, which was repressed in order to survive. The aim is to avoid the fear of powerlessness before a cruel adult. This fear can be eluded momentarily by creating situations in which one plays the active role, the role of the powerful, towards a powerless person.” This is how the vicious cycle of parental abuse continues for generations. And in extreme cases, the repetition compulsion can lead to violent atrocities against humanity."

You have an opportunity here to resolve your childhood repression and become real and authentic.

It will require great courage and you might lose some money and many fans, but you will recover your soul -- and save your soul -- and your children's' souls -- our souls are our authentic feelings -- without our authentic feelings -- we become soulless -- like robots -- and  when we repress and deny our authentic feelings -- we will be endless driven by them compulsively and unconsciously -- to do to others -- what once was done to us -- when we were defenseless little infants.

Now you have a choice to become real or go back to live in denial -- falsing your true feelings for feelings you don't have --- acting as if personality -- and continue to live and die in an emotional prison -- like millions of people in our world.

While growing up in Portugal I always said to myself: the pain stops with me and I will never be like my abusers.

It took me almost all of my life to break free from the chains of repetition compulsion and this is my proudest achievement and it doesn't matter if society ever recognizes one's liberation to be the most important achievement in a person's life. I'm free at last.

Wishing you much courage and strength to break free from the chains of repetition compulsion.


Sylvie Imelda Shene