Friday, February 16, 2018

The World is in Big Trouble

You can't teach what you don't have... and from my experience most people out there are corrupted without authentic values and sure don't appreciate independent thinking, teamwork and don't like people that care about the well-being of everyone. For having these qualities is the reason I lost my job of nine and half years. So all I can say the world is in big trouble! 

Steve Weitzenkorn this guy in the video above is in line with the message in your new book The Catalyst Effect: 12 Skills and Behaviors to Boost Your Impact and Elevate Team Performance. 

Saturday, February 10, 2018

Too Invested in Lies and Illusions

Dear S,
Thank you for writing.
I understand you feeling devastated, but it’s the way it is! 
Most people fall into a trap/illusion/bubble and then try to sell it to others. 
I have learned that when people have a lot invested on these traps/illusions/bubbles/lies, etc. --- As he appears to be -- that he even wrote a book promoting these lies/illusions/traps/bubbles -- that is a huge investment --- that will not be easy for him to let go of  -- unless something tragic happens and bursts their illusions/bubbles/traps/lies -- even when tragedy hits them -- still try to hold on to their  illusions/bubbles/traps/lies, because it's too painful for them to face the truth that they deceived themselves and others and they rather die or destroy others than face this painful truth. 
So he might resent my book, but you never know, maybe he will find the courage to question the 12 steps program, but I doubt.
Do what you feel like – it won’t hurt to send him my book -- if he doesn’t send it back  and just throws it way, it’s okay, don’t worry about it, maybe will end up in someone's hands that really is ready to let go of all the lies and illusions and my book will be the support they have been waiting all of their lives, like I once was.
Thank you for sharing with me Pachelbel Canon in D Major - the original and best version in your lasts e-mail -- it was absolutely beautiful!
You said in your e-mail you are hiding. Hiding it’s all I like to do too NOW! If I didn’t have to work to keep a roof over my head I would never leave my little condo and deal with people.
I’m so happy and at peace when not around people! I savor every moment alone!
Hugs from Arizona,

Saturday, February 3, 2018

Australia’s Worst Pedophiles Could Get $150,000 Compensation

Great comment by Steve Thomas on the article  Australia’s Worst Pedophiles Could Get $150,000 Compensation  he shared on Facebook.

Jan Whitaker Let's not dismiss this out of hand. I think this is about people who were abused as children themselves and then went on to behave the same. Why should they not be compensated?

Steve Thomas For the same reason murderers who were mistreated as children (which amounts to all of them) forfeit any right they had to any sympathy for it. 

Pick your favorite mass murderer and I don't care if it's Stalin or Hitler or Richard Speck. Do you real
ize what crap those people went through as kids? Do you think they should have been given monetary "redress" for it *after* they killed all those people?

If society wants to acknowledge that child mistreatment is everybody's business, that's great. Because whether people realize it or not, it absolutely is. But the buck has to stop somewhere. 

Predatory adults have no excuse. It's a known fact that most abused children *don't* turn on the rest of us later on. To reward those who do is doesn't just diminish the ones who successfully fought against and surmounted the piles of crap they were handed, it comes *extremely* close to saying that nobody's responsible for their behavior because determinism. 

My strongly held opinion is that that attitude actually makes sense when applied to children, but somewhere around age 18 or 21 I think it's crucial that the opposite concept of free will be recognized. 

Protection is a legitimate role of government. Paying people who have themselves preyed on children serves no protective function.

It arguably does the opposite.

Sylvie Imelda Shene I'm with you Steve Thomas! I could not agree more with you! I have compassion for the children they once were, but I have no compassion for the adults they have become! As adults we can use our privilege of being adults to go on a journey to find the help and support we need. As a child I always said to myself: the pain stops in me and I will never be like them. It has been a long journey for me, it took me over 40 years to find the help and the support I needed, but I broke the circle of repetition compulsion and this is my most proudest achievement in life. My experience was the same as Alice Miller: "It has taken me all my life to allow myself to be what I am and to listen to what my inner self is telling me, more and more directly, without waiting for permission from others or currying approval from people symbolizing my parents." 

Steve Thomas The Ghost of Christmas Present quoting Scrooge's words back to him once he had changed his attitude regarding charity.

An Alice Miller line that for some reason made an impact on me was "We put these people in prison because we don't know what else to
do with them."

Punishment is actually not just beside the point, it's pointless. I also think that Australian Robin Grille is right in his assessment that the carrot is as poisonous as the stick, that reward is the just same manipulative authoritarianism showing its sweet side. 

Predatory pedophiles belong in jail because we're entitled to protect ourselves and don't know what else to do with them. "Treatment", from what I understand, has so far been close to 100% ineffective. You can argue how long or short sentences ought to be, but money is or at least probably should be useless to people behind bars. 

If somehow Australian experts have inadvertently stumbled onto some kind of crazy magic bullet that eventually shows itself to lower recidivism rates, I'll applaud it. Excuse me if I remain skeptical until then.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

If You Question it if You Are a sociopath – Then Most Likely You Are Not!

Dear H,

Thank you for writing.

“i would wish, that the this woman does better than me. That she will look at her own truth. If she is like me, be glad, that she run away...”

Every day I thank the stars that she run away, because if she lacks courage to consciously face and feel her emotions within the context of her own childhood. I’m better off she runs -- otherwise sooner or later would make me her poison container or scapegoat. And she was starting to do it -- if I didn't make my boundaries clear to her --- of what I would tolerate and what I would not tolerate.

If it’s true she read my book again and the words she wrote are authentic --- maybe she is not a full blown sociopath --- and maybe down the road when she feels -- it’s safe for me to be around her without making me her poison container or scapegoat -- then we can spend time together again.

The fact you question it -- if you might be a sociopath -- it means you are not--- you don’t go out of your way to hurt people intentionally, right?! 

So you are not a sociopath. It’s normal sometimes to feel hateful feelings towards some people that disappoints us in the present moment and triggers the repressed pain -- if not yet worked through – or for reminding us of the pain we suffered as a child, but if we don’t go out of our way and take actions to deliberately hurt people, then we are not sociopaths or malignant narcissists. 

Remember thoughts and feelings don’t hurt people – actions hurt people.  

Sociopaths or malignant narcissists go out of their way to hurt people and take pleasure in destroying lives and see people hurting. 

Hurting and destroying others’ lives is their pain killing drug. It's an addiction that keeps their own childhood repression intact.

I agree! Alice Miller is the only person I know with courage to go to the bottom of our repression to retrieve the real key that really opens the door to true liberation and everyone else out there are just selling an illusion.

If you think talking with me might help you see clear, if taken the new job offer would be a good move for you and a risk you can afford to take --- we can try to schedule a time to talk via Skype if you like.

“most of therapists assume, that there is a kind of a core or a center, within us, which is our pilot, our healer etc. but this might be not true, not in that easy way: just to connect with that force and using it as a basis...”

No, I don’t think is true either, if a person’s spirit was complete murdered in childhood. These people don’t have an inner center or pilot to trigger their healing and as adults can become very dangerous people.  But I don’t think it’s your case dough. I feel there is a lot of spirit left in you to trigger your own healing and with courage and the right support you can liberate yourself from your childhood emotional prison.

Hang in there and take good care.

Much love,


Saturday, January 27, 2018

My response to a Portuguese troll

USA is not the best place of all and right now we have the worst person EVER representing this country! And I’m really sorry for that, but the truth be told: in the good old USA you can find anything you want: the good, the ugly, the best and the worse, so whatever you are looking for you will find it here -- and you can be whatever you want! I’m very proud of the person this country has allowed me to become. I have dealt with enough ignorant assholes in this country, like the one we have in the #WhiteHouse right now, but also I have found the support and the truth that can set one free. I’m very grateful to the USA for this great opportunity that I know without a doubt I would never have gotten in Portugal. In Portugal all I ever found was ignorance and abuse and I don’t expect anything less from you here!

Friday, December 29, 2017

The Narcissist Punishment is Living all of their Lives and Dying in an Emotional Prison.

Yes, the narcissist punishment is living all of their lives and dying in an emotional prison.

"You can’t concentrate on external things and status symbols and be happy. You can’t be happy and abusive at the same time. You can’t mistreat and manipulate others and be happy. That’s not what real happiness is about.

Real happiness comes from within, from a strong sense of self, from growing as a human being, from being a decent person. So if your core self is rotten, if you are severely disconnected, if you are not growing, and if you are a hurtful person, it’s impossible to be genuinely happy. The best you can do is desperately manage your shaky and skewed false self.

So what’s a malignant narcissist’s punishment? It’s their existence. It’s their inner prison. It’s waking up every day into their life that—despite possessions, power, and status symbols that they may have—they hate deep down. And then one day they die, and it’s all over. That’s the sad reality of a wasted and miserable life. And that’s their natural punishment." Read more in the link below: 
This is my ex's punishment and all the sociopaths at my job of nine and half years. All the money in this world cannot save them! This is why the sociopaths at my job of nine and half years were so jealous and envious of me and they came after me so viciously --- trying to destroy me and rob me of my freedom -- what I have cannot be bought with money and they couldn't stand it --- I'm free -- and in spite of all their money --- they are living and die in an emotional prison! I know it's killing them with jealousy and envy, especially the property manager!

To read more about my experiences with the mob of sociopaths or narcissists at my last job read my blog Experienced Knowledge  

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Abuse on the couch Silenced transgression

I just read a very good Spanish article about sexual abuse by health care professionals -- written in August 8, 2015 -- “Abusos en el diván la transgresión silenciada (Abuse on the couch Silenced transgression)” By Elena Cabrera.

Below is a quote from the article translated with the help of Google Translate -- where the author mentions -- my experience with sexual abuse  -- with the prestigious Portuguese psychiatrist and sexologist Júlio Machado Vaz:

""When the press reported the accusations against Dr. Criado, the Portuguese Sylvie Imelda Shene was reflected in what they were saying. In her book 'A dance to freedom', published in the United States in 2014, she claimed to have been the victim of sexual abuse by the renowned psychiatrist and sexologist Júlio Machado Vaz. In the 70s, Shene went to a young doctor Machado to help her overcome a childhood trauma. "His methods made me worse," she says in her blog, where she also says that it took her 20 years to acknowledge that he had been the victim of sexual abuse. Referring to the case of Matilde Solís, Shene asks if "Portugal will also someday find the courage to investigate Machado Vaz".

The Portuguese psychiatrist, 65, is a commentator on several radio and television programs, author of more than a dozen books and vice president of the Portuguese Society of Clinical Sexology. Paradoxically, he was called to testify as an expert in the most mediatic trial that Portuguese society experienced in 2011. A former patient had sat on the bench psychiatrist João Vasconcelos Vilas Boas, who had been a student of Machado. Vilas Boas was accused of raping a patient, eight months pregnant and emotionally fragile." If you know Spanish read the full article HERE

Comments form the sharing of this post on my author's page on Facebook:

Ana Rego 20 anos para se dar conta de que tinha sido sexualmente abusada? Ou percebi mal?
Translation into English: 
20 years to realize that she had been sexually abused? Or did I misunderstand?

Sylvie Imelda Shene #MeToo #TIMESUP #OurVoicesOurTime I posted the comment below with my personal page Sylvie Imelda Shene in response to Ana Rego's comment, but she or someone else marked my comment as spam. My comment is not spam: She or whoever marked my comment as spam, must belong to Dr. Julio Machado Vaz's cult and is trying to silence me.

"Are you questioning my experience? I feel your judgment and others people’s judgments are not of my concern. 

But to answer your question: I always felt at the core of my being that what Dr. Julio Machado Vaz did to me was not right and all these years I blamed myself for what took place, because I could have run away or leave like always have done when something doesn’t feel right to me. But I went along with him and all these years I blamed myself for not leaving. 

He was very charming and I was manipulated by him to think what we were doing was normal. It took me over 20 years to find an enlightened witness to side with me and help me see -- that it was not my fault -- and put the blame where it belongs --- In #JulioMachadoVaz--- and say it out loud that what happened to me when I was a vulnerable young 17 years old -- was indeed sexual abuse!

He was in a position of power posing as a mental health care professional that was supposed to help me, but instead created more confusion and took me over two decades to resolve and find freedom from this huge labyrinth he helped create. 

In the book Boundaries: Where You End And I Begin, Anne Katherine states, “A therapist is entrusted with his or her clients’ deepest secrets. A minister bestows sanctions from the highest power in the universe. The potential for harm is overwhelming. For a person in such a role, essentially that of a guardian, to cross sexual boundaries is a grave violation. A child, a client, a patient, a follower or a worshiper are vulnerable and usually approach authority out of need. A sexual action by a guardian is very confusing, even to a very strong and healthy individual. For someone vulnerable and in need, such an action can be devastating. When a parent is sexual toward a child, the violation reverberates for decades. Trust is broken, the child takes on responsibility for the act, sexuality is affected, and the bond is damaged. When a therapist, physician, attorney or clergy person is sexual with a client or worshiper, it is also incest. A trust is broken, a bond is perverted. The person who sought care was used to meet the needs of the caregiver.”33 
I included this quote in my book and you are welcome to read, if you like, in the link below a small excerpt where I share more of my experience with Dr. Julio Machado Vaz" 

Ana Rego Acabei de ver a sua resposta ao meu comentário pela primeira vez. Garanto-lhe que se alguma das suas respostas foi marcada como spam, a autora dessa acção não fui eu. Por outro lado, para além de partilhar com o Dr. Júlio Machado Vaz a nacionalidade, nada mais me liga ao dito senhor: nem a área de trabalho nem a cidade em que vivemos (penso que ele vive no Porto...) e nunca o conheci pessoalmente... Peço desculpa pelo meu espanto com o facto de alguém só se ter apercebido de que tinha sido vítima de assédio sexual... Consigo entender que a pessoa esteja vinte anos sem contar a ninguém tal facto. Em todo o caso, penso que o seu novo texto lança alguma luz sobre o que se passou.
E creia que a minha solidariedade vai toda para as mulheres molestadas e nunca para os agressores. Daí que tenha algum cuidado em entender as situações para distinguir as que são de facto agressões (ainda que encapotadas...) das que são apenas relacionamentos que correram mal...
Espero que encontre a sua paz e que o(s) culpado(s) do seu sofrimento tenha a penalização devida...

I just saw your response to my comment for the first time. I assure you that if any of your answers were marked as spam, the author of this action was not me. On the other hand, apart from sharing with Dr. Júlio Machado Vaz the nationality, nothing else connects me to the said person: neither the work area nor the city in which we live (I think he lives in Porto ...) and never I met him personally ... I apologize for my astonishment that someone only realized that I had been the victim of sexual harassment ... I can understand that the person is twenty years without telling anyone that fact. In any case, I think your new text throws some light on what has happened.
And believe that my solidarity goes all out to the molested women and never to the aggressors. So take some care in understanding the situations to distinguish those that are in fact aggressions (even if hooded ...) from those that are just relationships that have gone wrong ...
I hope you find your peace and that the culprit (s) of your suffering has the due penalty

Sylvie Imelda Shene #MeToo #TIMESUP #OurVoicesOurTime  Thank you, Ana Rego! I appreciate your support and I’m glad my comment shined light. Another reason -- we victims of abuse -- don’t come forward sooner is because we are afraid we will not be believed and listened to. I have been trying to get someone to listen to my story since the year 2000. But I can’t get anyone to listen and pay attention -- like a reader of my book wrote in a review: ““I read this book – nothing but respect and admiration for the author!! I can’t imagine why anyone would feel differently. It really is a compelling story --- and needs to be heard” 
I’m so sorry for assuming it was you marking my comment as spam. It must have been a follower of #JulioMachadoVaz or him himself, because I know he comes to my pages and spies on me. One time he clicked like and dislike in one of my posts as a mistake or to try to intimidate me into silence.