Open Letter to Cristiano Ronaldo

Dear Mr. Ronaldo,

I’m extremely dyslexic and writing is one of the hardest things for me to do in life.  I can’t afford to pay an editor at the moment to edit my writings, so I apologize if you have difficulty understanding my letter. 

To tell you the truth I have given up on humanity. I think humanity has passed the point of no return.

But I feel compelled to reach out to you.

These words by Leo Tolstoy could not be truer: “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” This is the problem with our society. No one wants to look in the mirror and face themselves. 

If you like to take the attention from yourself and put it on someone else that should be held by Portuguese society to a higher standard than athletes. 

Ask all the talking heads on TV -- why are they protecting Dr. Julio Macchado Vaz with a wall of silence? 

I have been trying to tell my story since the year 2000, I went to Portugal and contacted the media there to go public with my story and I even tried to contact a lawyer there to sue this doctor for malpractice, not because I wanted money, but to expose the harm done by the so-called professionals/experts that are "supposedly" to help the public, but no one got back to me, so I came back to America and started thinking about writing a book to tell my story, share my life experiences, and psychological discoveries. I published my book  A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusion in 2014 -- and I hope you read it. 

Just like here in an America that was an open secret in Hollywood of Bill Cosby's problems with women. 

I know without a doubt that there is also an open secret in Portugal of this doctor having sex with his patients. 

They don't pay attention to my story, because my story is a connected story and I own it, so they feel threatened by my story. Owned and connected stories like mine need to be told, but sadly most people in the media are only interested in disowned and disconnected stories of victims without resolution they can exploit for pure sensationalism, they are like vultures looking for dead bodies. 

And they feel threatened by owned and connected stories like mine, because stories like mine, makes people look in the mirror to question themselves, their own parents and people in power position standing in symbolizing their parents. AND WHO WANTS TO DO THAT?! Most people are still scared little children afraid of being punished if they dare to speak the naked truth and expose the real state of affairs.

This quote by Alice Miller that I included in my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions, page 76 -- it's so true: “To many people, it seems easier to take medication, to smoke, drink alcohol, preach, educate or treat others, and prepare wars than expose themselves to their own painful truth.”

I don’t know the details of what happened in the hotel in Las Vegas, only you and Ms. Mayorga know the real truth.  I read the whole article Her Name Is Kathryn The Woman Who Accuses Ronaldo of Rape by Spiegel online and there is no doubt that something happened.

I used to be a topless dancer for 18 years in a nightclub in Phoenix Arizona. And I met many young famous athletes, like you, and movie stars – suffering from the illusion that success, their talents, money, and fame alone would liberate them -- and  they felt  were superior to everyone else – suffering from grandiosity -- these words by Alice Miller could not be truer: "The grandiose person is never really free; first because he is excessively dependent on admiration from others, and second, because his self-respect is dependent on qualities, functions, and achievements that can suddenly fail." From the book The Drama of the Gifted Child: The search for the True Self  Page 36

All the other dancers were always totally star struck by rich and famous people like you -- and they all flocked to the rich and famous people's table – to me famous people are just like everyone else and I treat them the same --as everybody else -- I don't care how talented or how much money they have -- so most rich and famous people didn't spend much time talking with me and would move on to the other girls that give them the special treatment they thought they deserved.

The look of Ms. Kathryn Mayorga in the picture below, she is totally star struck by you!

Yes, a lot of young girls look at famous and rich guys like you as a path to freedom and salvation, because like you  -- they also suffer from the same illusions that money and fame alone is the path to freedom and salvation.

In 2012 I got into a debate with an ex-dancer from Israel that used to dance in New York City where she confessed to having sex for money with customers, she met at the club.

You can read more about this debate with the ex-dancer on my blog Comments and thoughts on the “Doll” Documentary” by Zohar Wagner that gives insight into these dangerous exploitative relationships.  

Most dancers would enter mutually into exploitative relationships -- men trying to exploit them sexually and the dancers try to get as much money out of them as they possibly could and they did not have boundaries or limits in what they did in order to get to the men’s money, so they were each other’s victims. 

But this doesn't mean it's okay to force yourself on them and not accept their no at any time -- if they change their mind -- and ask you to stop.

While growing up in Portugal I had many experiences with Portuguese boys that they didn't know what the word NO meant! I talk about it in my book -- that I hope you read -- a little bit about my experiences with many Portuguese boys that didn't know the meaning of the word NO.

I also shared in a comment in the article in the link below of an experience with Portuguese boys in the Summer of 1983 while I was in Paris. "..while I was in Paris, France one summer I was working in a restaurant and Portuguese people, that, “look like nice people”, came to eat and they invite me to go with them for coffee and me thinking -- for being with those from my own country --- it would be okay and safe, but when I was inside the car with them, they started to disrespect me and when they stopped at the traffic light I got out of the car really quickly. I am sure if I had not gotten out of the car I would have been raped by those Portuguese young people that looked like they were nice guys, that day I learn to avoid and be careful with Portuguese people because most of them have no respect for themselves and others. ..."
https://www.facebook.com/notes/sylvie-imelda-shene/its-still-a-mans-world/453280120451/

Even if Ms. Kathryn Mayorga accusations are not true. You are in the stage of the world and all eyes are on you! This can be an opportunity for you and your millions of followers to become real and open the path for all humanity to free themselves from lies and illusions.

Is not just dancers that get into these exploitative relationships. Everywhere I look I see people in this type of exploitative relationships and not in an equal partnership between adults.

I am pretty sure most people, if not all the people, around you, are around you, because, they just want to exploit you, stand in your head --  take ownership of your story -- and make as much money out of your story and as they possibly can -- if you lost all of your money -- most, if not all around you would leave. 

I have been living in Arizona since 1985! And I didn't hear of you until my niece that lives in Portugal came to visit me in Arizona -- while she was here -- she mentioned to me that you paid a woman to have a child for you --- that gave me a small window right away to a troubled soul.

A seeing and a feeling man would never pay a woman to bring a child into the world to separate from the mother at birth. And a seeing and a feeling woman would not EVER agree to carry a pregnancy to term for money and give birth to a new being to give away after birth like a puppy or a kitten -- babies are not puppies or kittens ---  the trauma of separation from the mother is a hard trauma to heal and a seeing and a feeling man and woman would NEVER traumatize a baby like that.

I read a little bit of your history that you are, like me,  the product of an unwanted pregnancy --  this pain of being unwanted is hard to heal -- and we go through life feeling unwanted everywhere we go --  it took me more than 40 years to heal this trauma -- and everytime I'm rejected in the present moment -- it is still a painful reminder -- of the pain of being an unwanted and rejected child. 

I read your mother even thought about aborting you; you are unconsciously and compulsively reenacting your childhood traumas -- traumatizing yourself and others like you were traumatized when you were a defenseless little infant. 

You have been repressing this pain with the aid of football, money, and fame, but now with Ms.Mayorga accusation of rape -- she is triggering this pain to the surface and bringing you to your knees -- not to be brought closer to god like religion wants you to believe -- but to face your childhood repression and gain ownership of your own story and free yourself from the emotional prison you were born in. 

Your fans and the people around you don't care about you and how much you suffered as a child because they don't want to be reminded of their own painful childhoods. They are just interested that you win games for them, protect your image, so they can keep on going on, as usual, to exploit you to distract themselves from facing their own painful truths.

Like I wrote in my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions page 39 and 62: "It’s also important to realize that unresolved trauma will always catch up with us. “Merely forgetting early traumas and early neglect is no solution,” Alice Miller writes. Instead, we have to go back in time and deal with the true feelings we had as children. Only then can we free ourselves from overwhelming fear, shame, guilt, anger, and frustration. Getting to that point is a lot easier when you have someone who can help you understand how present events trigger repressed feelings. 

Alice Miller calls the type of person who can help an adult face their childhood traumas an enlightened — or knowing — witness. Ideally, parents should fulfill the role of helping witnesses while their children are still little —  ...but too many mothers and fathers are too traumatized themselves to provide the patience and loving support their children need. 

When most people grow up they unconsciously and compulsively reenact their own childhood traumas with people who have nothing to do with those painful scenarios, such as their own kids. 

Parents who have suffered are compelled to make sure that others suffer, too, and the cycle can go on for eternity. 

...Abused and otherwise traumatized children are forced to repress their true feelings unless they’re lucky enough to find someone to comfort them. 

But because enlightened witnesses (and even helping witnesses) aren’t always readily available, most of us develop what Alice Miller calls a false self — usually for the sake of our parents — only to pay for it later in life. 

In an article entitled “The Essential Role of an Enlightened Witness in Society,” Alice Miller writes that “it seems clear to me that information about abuse inflicted during childhood is recorded in our body cells as a sort of memory, linked to repressed anxiety. If, lacking the aid of an enlightened witness, these memories fail to break through to consciousness, they often compel the person to violent acts that reproduce the abuse suffered in childhood, which was repressed in order to survive. The aim is to avoid the fear of powerlessness before a cruel adult. This fear can be eluded momentarily by creating situations in which one plays the active role, the role of the powerful, towards a powerless person.” This is how the vicious cycle of parental abuse continues for generations. And in extreme cases, the repetition compulsion can lead to violent atrocities against humanity."

You have an opportunity here to resolve your childhood repression and become real and authentic.

It will require great courage and you might lose some money and many fans, but you will recover your soul -- and save your soul -- and your children's' souls -- our souls are our authentic feelings -- without our authentic feelings -- we become soulless -- like robots -- and  when we repress and deny our authentic feelings -- we will be endless driven by them compulsively and unconsciously -- to do to others -- what once was done to us -- when we were defenseless little infants.

Now you have a choice to become real or go back to live in denial -- falsing your true feelings for feelings you don't have --- acting as if personality -- and continue to live and die in an emotional prison -- like millions of people in our world.

While growing up in Portugal I always said to myself: the pain stops with me and I will never be like my abusers.

It took me almost all of my life to break free from the chains of repetition compulsion and this is my proudest achievement and it doesn't matter if society ever recognizes one's liberation to be the most important achievement in a person's life. I'm free at last.

Wishing you much courage and strength to break free from the chains of repetition compulsion.

Sincerely,

Sylvie Imelda Shene 

It's A Catch-22

Men Must Make Sure Other Men Believe Women

Comments on Facebook from the sharing of the video in the link above.

B-Belliard Jean-François: Super Sylvie, It's time to remind everyone that all rapists have been raped in infancy by a woman, a mother, a nurse etc. Or a rabbi or other men with a female blessing.

This is what is the universal cause for men assaulting sexually or otherwise the daughters of women.

That is the secret that must NOT come out.

Sylvie Imelda Shene I agree with you! It's a secret everyone wants to keep in the dark. 

This is one of the reasons I was attacked by a mob of sociopaths at my job of nine and a half years because I dare to write about this secret in my book. In their eyes, I had committed a crime. Our society protects mothers at the expensive of the next generation. This is why women betray other women, because, they were betrayed by the most important women in their lives when they were defenseless little girls and NOW go through life betraying women in the same way. In order to break this vicious circle -- we need to do all we can to aid women's liberation -- because as long women are in the state of dependency this insanity will go on for eternity. This is A catch-22. The words below by Alice Miller could not be truer. 

"Are women Less Aggressive than Men?

In my view, women are by no means less aggressive than men. Of course, they are victimized and disadvantaged by men avenging themselves for the beating they received from their mothers. But women avenge themselves for such victimization and physical cruelty by taking it out on their little children, thus breeding new generations of avengers who consciously love and honor their parents.

I see no real difference between the cruelty of women and that of men, because both sexes have learned such sadism at the hands of their parents and caregivers at the time when their brains were still in the process of formation. As children, they were subjected to cruelty and even perversion, but they not allowed to defend themselves. So later take out their repressed anger on other defenseless people, frequently in the same way their parents treated them when they were small. Women frequently vent this acquired sadism on their children. While men also give free rein to it by victimizing employees at work or lower military ranks, or else participating in orgies of violence like genocide or terrorist attacks. The causes invariable lie in the repressed and totally denied suffering of their childhood (though most of them will insist that they had wonderful parents). People who were not humiliated, tormented, or beaten in their early years are incapable of sadism.

Women can live out all kinds of covert perversion on their children and torment them impunity as long as they call this behavior “good parenting.” Society idealizes mothers because people have never consciously realized that their own mothers treated them cruelly when they were small. Accordingly, women normally enjoy total immunity.

I see no sex-specific differences in the suicide bombers. I understand terrorism as an attempt to compensate for the humiliations these people were subjected to , but have never consciously perceived as such, by means of a “magnificent deed” (such as sacrificing their own lives for the sake of a group).

Though it is not difficult to understand this dynamic, there are not many people who would allow themselves to give up their denial and look the truth in the face. The fear felt by the tormented children they once were can prevent this all their lives."
From the book “Free from Lies: Discovering your true needs” By Alice Miller Page 140
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/05/why-males-are-more-violent.html

Her Name Is Kathryn -The Woman Who Accuses Cristiano Ronaldo of Rape

An American woman claims Cristiano Ronaldo raped her in Las Vegas. Years ago, the soccer star paid her to remain silent. Now, the woman is going public for the first time and filing a complaint against Ronaldo. She possesses a document that could be extremely dangerous for him. By DER SPIEGEL Staff  Read Article HERE

I read the whole article --  I think he raped her- something happened. "It's a pretty famous guy. So I'm terrified. I'm scared." She is worried that someone might do something to her, that the media and Ronaldo's fans won't leave her alone.""

I'm not terrified, but I do worry sometimes the sociopaths at my job of nine and a half years and Dr. Julio Machado Vaz, their cronies and fans trying to do something to me.

The sociopaths at my job of nine and a half years already tried to do something to me, but they didn't succeed. The sociopath in the HOA in the chair of security stalked me at my new job trying to intimidate me... it was a little scary because I was not sure how far they would take it to try to silence me! I have pictures of the sociopath in the chair of security in the security camera at my new job. They are not very good pictures. Out of the camera view, he go out of his car and stood there for a few minutes and got back in his car and drove off. I talk about him in my blogs in the link below, I call him Mr. K. 
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=chair+of+security

https://www.facebook.com/sylne/posts/10156065165863922 

Last week while cleaning I found an old newsletter with some nice words written about me! But all changed after I published my book in 2014.

https://www.facebook.com/sylne/posts/10156062183953922

Sofia Davis: Wow. Amazing

Sylvie: too bad writing a book exposing the lies and illusions of our society was seen in their eyes as committing a crime. But the ones committing real crimes are protected. Just like we just witnessed in the stage of the world with judge Kavanaugh and Dr. Ford. Criminals are promoted and real heroes are punished. We live in upside down world. 

http://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/09/big-cover-up-by-sociopaths-at-my-ex-job.html?m=1

More comments from the sharing on the video in the link below: https://www.facebook.com/sylne/posts/10156050119298922

Sylvie Imelda Shene Clara, have you heard Cristiano Ronaldo is being accused of rape. I believe it. He is driven by the unresolved repressed traumas of the child he once was.

Ester Santos: Me too! I read her report of the facts and there's is no contradiction. He apologized and bought her silence but I think she is now strong enough to come out publicly.

Ester Santos: Also psychologically analysts described him as narcissistic. Narcissistics do not know the meaning of no. After all was narcissism the main drive on his career if you look at it closely.

Sylvie Imelda Shene Yes, he scores high in the narcissism scale. Narcissism is a symptom of deep-seated unresolved childhood traumas passed down from generation to generation. He has been hiding behind his talent and money for a very long time, but talent and money alone will not save him and now all is coming crashing down and is being forced to face his own repression. I hope he finds the help he really needs. Someone should give him my book. I have read a little bit of his history and he is a product of an unwanted pregnancy -- his mother even thought about aborting him -- he has reenacted his childhood traumas by paying women to have children for him -- traumatizing the babies by separating them from the biological mother. The trauma of separation from the natural mother is very hard to heal. He is traumatizing himself and others the same way he was traumatized when he was a defenseless little infant. 

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2015/08/narcissism-comes-from-pain-suffered-in.html

STOP THE WAR ON WOMEN

International Day of the Girl Child =
< STOP THE WAR ON WOMEN > 

And if you still need a Manifesto, or are looking for the right 'words' - here is one perfectly-formed from New Mexico.

Party for Socialism and Liberation - Albuquerque

" In spite of the mass opposition in the streets and in communities throughout the United States the U.S. Senate has confirmed arch-reactionary Brett Kavanaugh to be the ninth Justice of the Supreme Court. With rare exception the Supreme Court has over the past 200 years upheld the most reactionary aspects of U.S. capitalism – the enslavement of African people, the maintenance of an apartheid system following the Civil War, the granting of broad immunity for U.S. police departments as they carry out systematic violence against oppressed communities, the denial of women’s right to vote and a myriad of other efforts to suppress workers in the U.S. labor movement.

Kavanaugh’s confirmation is outrageous and truly undemocratic–a majority of voters polled now oppose him on the Court since the allegations of sexual assault and misconduct surfaced.

But the problem with the Supreme Court goes deeper than Kavanaugh. While some are suggesting Kavanaugh will “tarnish” or “delegitimize” an otherwise pristine institution, the truth is that the Court is undemocratic and reactionary to its very core.

The Supreme Court is portrayed as an impartial body, detached from society, above everyone, but we know this is not true. It represents a legal system that was created by the wealthy elite to maintain the rule of the dominant class. They created it and it operates against the interests of the vast majority in society. It is stacked, generation after generation, with Harvard and Yale graduates, with deep connections to corporate America and vetted by the political establishments of the two ruling parties.

Before the Civil War, it protected slavery — many of the justices were slaveholders themselves, buying and selling men, women and children in their free time while writing tracts about “justice” and “freedom.” In the industrial revolution, the Court became a vehicle for the railroad companies to bust up unions and the organizations of small farmers. Under Jim Crow, it defended segregation. When the ruling class was on the defensive in the 1960s and 1970s, and the people’s movements were rising, the Court granted some progressive reforms, but its recent history — Citizens United, Janus, the gutting of the Voting Rights Act — have all shown where it really stands.

The Supreme Court and other components of the “checks and balances” governmental system we learn about in school, in fact exists to prevent “too much” democracy. As Stephanie Fisher wrote:

“…the Supreme Court has been used to limit the democratic process in the interests of the ruling class. It ensures, for example, that no democratically elected Congress could ever pass a law that infringes on the right of the rich to own their wealth.” (The Supreme Court: Last Line of Defense for the Ruling Class.)

Regardless of which individual is confirmed as a member of the Supreme Court, the institution as a whole is inherently undemocratic and serves to protect the interests of the capitalist class. As such, it needs to be abolished.

Down with the sexist system!

Even before it became widespread knowledge that Kavanaugh had been credibly accused of attempted rape and other forms of sexual assault, it was no secret that he is a very reactionary judge who opposes abortion and could overturn Roe v. Wade. The bigger question is: why is it even an option to overturn women’s rights?

The system of capitalist “democracy” does not guarantee basic rights for women but uses our rights as a political bargaining chip.

Sexual assault, sexual harassment and other forms of gendered violence have deep roots in patriarchal class society, supported by the ideology of male supremacy. In this context, sexualized and gendered violence including assault and harassment are everyday occurences for women. Women are blamed for being victimized: Why did she go to the party? Why did she wear that dress? Why did she drink beer? Why didn’t she say no? Why didn’t she report the crime?

Women have been socialized to not report, not tell anyone about assault because it is seen as a “personal” problem and because women know that it is we, the ones who have already suffered assault, who will be put on trial–not the person who assaulted us.

That is why #MeToo and #WhyIDidntReport are powerful. Many women are saying we will no longer be silent.There’s a movement of people demanding our rights as part of a greater struggle for justice and equality. Women and our supporters are rising up with long-suppressed anger to denounce and protest Kavanaugh’s confirmation.

We must resist the pressure to throw our support behind the Democratic Party, also known as “the lesser of two evils.” The argument that the President appoints Supreme Court justices–thus a Democratic president is preferable–is often used as the ultimate argument against voting for a socialist or working-class candidate. This argument contributes to the problem that it aims to address. By channeling people into a political system that is by its very construction anti-democratic, it undermines the effort to build a powerful, militant people’s movement.

The confirmation of a known reactionary and misogynist such as Kavanaugh should not be reason for despair. Our power is not measured in confirmation hearings. The Senate is a millionaires’ club, representing its own interests, not ours.

Our power is measured in the streets, in our schools, workplaces and neighborhoods. Despite its reactionary character, the Court has in its history made a few “progressive” rulings. These rulings, like all such rulings, reflect the balance of forces in the class struggle on a global scale, more than they reflect the exact composition of the court. When the working class movement for people’s liberation is strong, the court will grant a concession, not out of the goodness of their hearts, but because to do otherwise would be to throw fuel on the fire of the people’s anger.

Now is the time to be out in the streets. The system has exposed itself.

Join a the PSL today, let’s fight for a new system:
Party for Socialism and Liberation - Albuquerque


In spite of the mass opposition in the streets and in communities throughout the United States the U.S. Senate has confirmed arch-reactionary Brett Kavanaugh to be the ninth Justice of the Supreme Court. With rare exception the Supreme Court has over the past 200 years upheld the most reactionary aspects of U.S. capitalism – the enslavement of African people, the maintenance of an apartheid system following the Civil War, the granting of broad immunity for U.S. police departments as they carry out systematic violence against oppressed communities, the denial of women’s right to vote and a myriad of other efforts to suppress workers in the U.S. labor movement.

Kavanaugh’s confirmation is outrageous and truly undemocratic–a majority of voters polled now oppose him on the Court since the allegations of sexual assault and misconduct surfaced.

But the problem with the Supreme Court goes deeper than Kavanaugh. While some are suggesting Kavanaugh will “tarnish” or “delegitimize” an otherwise pristine institution, the truth is that the Court is undemocratic and reactionary to its very core.

The Supreme Court is portrayed as an impartial body, detached from society, above everyone, but we know this is not true. It represents a legal system that was created by the wealthy elite to maintain the rule of the dominant class. They created it and it operates against the interests of the vast majority in society. It is stacked, generation after generation, with Harvard and Yale graduates, with deep connections to corporate America and vetted by the political establishments of the two ruling parties.

Before the Civil War, it protected slavery — many of the justices were slaveholders themselves, buying and selling men, women and children in their free time while writing tracts about “justice” and “freedom.” In the industrial revolution, the Court became a vehicle for the railroad companies to bust up unions and the organizations of small farmers. Under Jim Crow, it defended segregation. When the ruling class was on the defensive in the 1960s and 1970s, and the people’s movements were rising, the Court granted some progressive reforms, but its recent history — Citizens United, Janus, the gutting of the Voting Rights Act — have all shown where it really stands.

The Supreme Court and other components of the “checks and balances” governmental system we learn about in school, in fact exists to prevent “too much” democracy. As Stephanie Fisher wrote:

“…the Supreme Court has been used to limit the democratic process in the interests of the ruling class. It ensures, for example, that no democratically elected Congress could ever pass a law that infringes on the right of the rich to own their wealth.” (The Supreme Court: Last Line of Defense for the Ruling Class.)

Regardless of which individual is confirmed as a member of the Supreme Court, the institution as a whole is inherently undemocratic and serves to protect the interests of the capitalist class. As such, it needs to be abolished.

Down with the sexist system!

Even before it became widespread knowledge that Kavanaugh had been credibly accused of attempted rape and other forms of sexual assault, it was no secret that he is a very reactionary judge who opposes abortion and could overturn Roe v. Wade. The bigger question is: why is it even an option to overturn women’s rights?

The system of capitalist “democracy” does not guarantee basic rights for women but uses our rights as a political bargaining chip.

Sexual assault, sexual harassment and other forms of gendered violence have deep roots in patriarchal class society, supported by the ideology of male supremacy. In this context, sexualized and gendered violence including assault and harassment are everyday occurences for women. Women are blamed for being victimized: Why did she go to the party? Why did she wear that dress? Why did she drink beer? Why didn’t she say no? Why didn’t she report the crime?

Women have been socialized to not report, not tell anyone about assault because it is seen as a “personal” problem and because women know that it is we, the ones who have already suffered assault, who will be put on trial–not the person who assaulted us.

That is why #MeToo and #WhyIDidntReport are powerful. Many women are saying we will no longer be silent.There’s a movement of people demanding our rights as part of a greater struggle for justice and equality. Women and our supporters are rising up with long-suppressed anger to denounce and protest Kavanaugh’s confirmation.

We must resist the pressure to throw our support behind the Democratic Party, also known as “the lesser of two evils.” The argument that the President appoints Supreme Court justices–thus a Democratic president is preferable–is often used as the ultimate argument against voting for a socialist or working-class candidate. This argument contributes to the problem that it aims to address. By channeling people into a political system that is by its very construction anti-democratic, it undermines the effort to build a powerful, militant people’s movement.

The confirmation of a known reactionary and misogynist such as Kavanaugh should not be reason for despair. Our power is not measured in confirmation hearings. The Senate is a millionaires’ club, representing its own interests, not ours.

Our power is measured in the streets, in our schools, workplaces and neighborhoods. Despite its reactionary character, the Court has in its history made a few “progressive” rulings. These rulings, like all such rulings, reflect the balance of forces in the class struggle on a global scale, more than they reflect the exact composition of the court. When the working class movement for people’s liberation is strong, the court will grant a concession, not out of the goodness of their hearts, but because to do otherwise would be to throw fuel on the fire of the people’s anger.

Now is the time to be out in the streets. The system has exposed itself.

Let’s fight for a new system:

Panic Attacks, Phobias, and Feelings

Hi V,

I hope you are having a good morning.

Someone published the article below on Facebook and I thought of you!

My ex’s trigger is the same one as of this guy in the article. And one of your triggers can be flying.

This is why I only want casual friendships from now on because I see very clear, even if others fool themselves --- after their fears become repressed once again --- and think they want to be in an intimate relationship -- I know better -- once people’s repressed fears are triggered, they rather destroy you or kill you than face and feel their fears within the context of own childhood.

As we witnessed in the community where you used to live and I worked for nine and a half years.

My book triggered their repressed fears of the child they once were and they rather see me dead, in jail or mental hospital than face and feel their own fears within the context of their own childhoods.

How ironic that my relationship with my ex, lasted 10 years and my working relationship with this community also lasted almost 10 years! Once my ex knew that had him figured out and could not fool me anymore, he had no use for me anymore and dropped me like a hot potato. The sociopaths at the community once they read my book, they too figured it out that I see them clear, and they too had no use for me anymore and like my ex, they want me out! Once sociopaths know you have them figured out, they don't want you around anymore. They want people around they can fool and will never challenge them. In this world where most are selling pretty seductive well-articulated lies and illusions, no one wants a seeing and a feeling person around.

Yo-yo or off and on relationships can go on endless. This is the type of relationship I had with Marty for 10 years and I'm not going to repeat this drama again with anyone else. If I had not confronted Marty about his phobias of intimacy and commitment that every time we started getting closer -- he would run scared -- with a new woman or drinking and drugging with his friends and then when he fears got repressed again would come back, because he knew my love was real and pure and would never find love like mine again! We would still be doing this today if I never had confronted him and just went along him treating me like a yo-yo!

I'm not confronting anyone’s repression like that again, because if I tell people their phobias, panic attacks, and illnesses are caused by the repressed emotions and fears of the child they once were, they take offense and attack me. Just as Alice Miller wrote to a reader of hers: "Yes, you are right but the CAUSE of the emotional disability is not the intellectualisation. The cause is the child’s FEAR of the parents that force him/her to fly from the truth. The intellect enables this flight into denial but as you rightly show: the price is the emotional invalidity in the adult`s life." Read more here 

In another answer to her reader, she writes: "Panic attacks are always connected to traumatic childhood experiences. If we have access to our history we can sometimes easily find the memory and the triggers in the presence that explain the fear so that the fear disappears. In your example, the woman feels panic after a happy experience." read more here

Knowing these facts and reality why would I be setting myself up for failure again?! And it would be foolish of me to want more than just a casual friendship from anyone. Most people just like Marty is not capable of growth to have a real relationship with, most people are stuck in childhood without knowing, acting as if personality pretending to be adults casting themselves as parents figures over others so they don't have to face and feel their own fears within the context of their own childhood!

Now comes to mind the anonymous letter published by New York Times from someone in the Trump administration -- where he/she tells the public that are adults in the room! That's a big lie -- because they are no adults in the Trump administration! Some just fake it better than others, Donald Trump can't fake it anymore and he acts exactly like the little child out of control that he is! I no longer have illusions with people!

The only intimate relationship I want from now on is with myself, as long I'm honest with myself and stay true to myself  -- that's all it matters to me. 

I can go out with someone as casual friends!  And I'm totally okay with it! I like being alone and I don't give a shit about much anymore. I'm totally happy with just having a casual friendship or a companion to go out to eat! I love eating gourmet food once in a while! :-)

Talk more soon,

Sylvie

Panic Attacks, Phobias, and Feelings

by John A. Speyrer

"It is unfortunate that modern concepts of psychosomatic illness sometimes lean more

to the study of the biochemical results of the repressed trauma to one's system

than to the repressed trauma itself."

A number of years ago a local newspaper printed a Washington Post news release which seemed to contain the most up-to-date information about anxiety attacks. Explaining that the anxiety and panic attacks were some of life's most terrifying experiences, the article described well its symptoms:

``You may feel dizzy or you may be aware of nausea. But it's more than just feeling sick. You have a sense that reality is slipping away from you...the feeling is that you're going to die. That you're going to lose your mind....Your heart is beating out of your chest....You can't catch your breath.''

The article mentioned that Dr. Donald F. Klein of the New York State Psychiatric Institute was considered to be one of the country's top specialists in the panic attack field. Dr. Klein was quoted as believing that because of anticipatory anxiety, the victim avoids any situations in which he or she has had previous attacks and thus may refuse to go out alone or may develop any number of terrifying phobias.

Another top specialist, Dr. David Sheehan, author of The Anxiety Disease, has made agoraphobia and panic attacks his province. During a recent lecture (Fall of 1993) in Baton Rouge, he mentioned that he has been treating these maladies with anti-depressant drugs such as tricyclics and MAO inhibitors and with tranquilizers (benzodiazepines) such as Xanax.

The article stated that clinical psychologists had been successfully treating the condition by using desensitization (behavioral therapy) techniques which are helpful after medication has suppressed the attacks. The article's author mentioned that research was seeking biochemical causes such as metabolic imbalances. Dr. Sheehan believes such imbalances are the culprit in this sickness and feels certain that anxiety attacks are an inherited vulnerability.

In that earlier-mentioned article, Dr. Sheehan stated that this problem strikes only a very small percentage of the population and seems to concentrate its fury on women rather than men. Seventy-five percent of its victims are young women, although all intelligence levels, racial groups and socio-economic levels are affected. Sheehan is hopeful that soon a diagnostic blood test will be developed along with new and more effective drugs. ``We're still at the early stages,'' said Sheehan, ``but it's only a matter of time before the big breakthrough.''

Well, twelve years after that first article was printed, we're still waiting for that big breakthrough. However, Dr. Sheehan is still hopeful. At a seminar in Baton Rouge in the fall of 1993, he was quoted as saying that there will soon exist ''... a predictive blood test to identify carriers before they develop the disease. He still believes that anxiety attacks are ''. . . a biological illness with a genetic predisposition -- like diabetes or asthma'' and that ``female sex hormones facilitate the expression of the disease.'' He implied that this is one reason why anxiety attacks are ``largely a disease of women during their childbearing years...'' At his seminar he also stressed that brain scans of those who suffer from anxiety attacks are very different from those of normal people.

CRITIQUE

Unfortunately, the facts provided by the purveyors of "information'' concerning anxiety diseases imply that it is something inherited. Feelings are hardly mentioned at all. It's all in your genes, they say. There appears to be no realization that there exists a common source to most physical and mental illness: the presence of unfelt or unintegrated very early trauma.

It is not surprising that people who are susceptible to anxiety attacks may have a different brain scan from "normal people.'' Nor is it surprising that their blood might contain substances which would identify them as people on the verge of having anxiety attacks. Those of us who believe in the effects of early trauma would expect that persons who have suffered severe traumas would be physiologically different from the "normal'' population. The repressed trauma is not a benign burden to have and one way it is revealed is it's victim's body chemistry.

Suspecting genetic or inherited vulnerability also hawks down the wrong trail, since vulnerability plays a role in all diseases, whether genetic or not. Usually one does not fall prey to a disease caused by a pathogen without having some degree of vulnerability. It's a fact that a person cannot develop tuberculosis without being exposed to TB bacteria. However, many in a population with the TB bacilli in their system do not develop the disease. There are other variables present, which determine whether a person actually contacts a pathogenic disease, such as the status of the immune system, proper nutrition, and naturally enough, inherited genetic vulnerability.

For many, vulnerability may be a sufficient but not a complete explanation as to why a person gets sick. For some who show a susceptible response to stress, the real pathogen is early repressed trauma. It is unfortunate that modern concepts of psychosomatic illness sometimes lean more to the study of the biochemical results of the repressed trauma to one's system than to the repressed trauma itself. Perhaps this is due to the frustration which many in the field feel because of their inability to help patients using psychological techniques alone.

To those of us knowledgeable about primal theory, anxiety is easily understood. We also know that these panic and anxiety attacks are readily curable. What happens to the genetic predisposition when the psychosomatic illness yields to re-experiencing or feeling the stored up trauma? The origins of anxiety attacks are actually no more puzzling than the origins of functional headaches, drug addiction, or depression. All originate in unfelt infantile and early childhood experiences.

MY STORY

I began suffering from anxiety attacks in my early twenties. The trigger was seemingly benign and inconsequential -- a woman whom I greatly admired did not wish to date me. This supposedly commonplace rejection resulted in a series of classic anxiety attacks. For the next two decades, my history repeated itself. Rejection by an attractive or particularly desirable woman would trigger the panic attacks.

And, seemingly contradictory, the acceptance of me by such a woman and entering into a relationship with her would sometimes also trigger the attacks! In such cases, the symptoms would intensify after I was accepted by her. So I suffered from the attacks when I would be rejected in my romantic pursuits and suffered as much or even more when I was able to have that relationship!

Between the attacks, as I entered my thirties and then my early forties, I became plagued by increasingly chronic anxiety and almost daily, unbearable stomach pains. The cat had been let out of its bag. Another way of saying that is my psychological defenses had been lowered. Seeking relief from my sufferings, I tried every approach to better health I could find, including orthodox medicine, acupuncture, hypnosis, insight therapy and gestalt therapy/transactional analysis. Hypnosis had helped for awhile. But then I began dating again and all the benefits of hypnotherapy were erased!

In the last therapy in which I participated, during gestalt feeling exercises, evidence began to accumulate that somehow my mother had rejected me, but I had only conscious memories of love from her, so I could not and did not accept this conclusion. But, after six months of gestalt therapy, I had reached a point where the feeling exercises had opened me up enough so that, one day at home, reliving my early traumas began spontaneously.

With the regressions, the origin of my anxiety attacks became clear. I found out that the desirable women had always been symbolic mothers. Wishing to have a relationship with those women triggered the original painful need which I had experienced in infancy of wanting my mother's love and not feeling that I had received it. If I had been able to connect to those repressed feelings later in life, I would have experienced the regressions instead of the symptoms.

Accompanying the primal feelings were insights. In a few weeks after I began the primal process, I began having deep insights. My fear of marriage became clear to me. As an infant, that first most desirable woman had been my mother. By not getting her love I had been devastated with resultant feelings of rejection. Thus close relationships later in life with other desirable women triggered my early repressed feelings.

As these feelings became closer to consciousness, anxiety and nervous tension were the result. Even the casual contemplation of marriage could cause stomach pains to begin. Thus, sometimes, even considering the remote possibility of receiving love from a particular desirable woman triggered the repressed unconscious feelings of my needing my mother to like me.

In re-living those traumas of my infancy, I felt my mother's indifference and rejection and whenever I felt rejected by women in my adult relationships, those early feelings were brought closer to consciousness and were experienced as anxiety attacks.

I no longer experience panic attacks. After six months of feeling those repressed early hurts, my daily stomach pains were no longer a bothersome symptom and I was able to reduce my intake of valium from 10 mgs. per day to a very small fraction of that amount. Even though stomach pains are no longer a symptom, tension and puffiness in that area are a signal to me that it's primal-time again. After I have connected with the feeling, the stomach symptoms leave completely.

A new option had appeared. When I was discouraged by a desirable woman from pursuing the relationship I wanted, I experienced not anxiety attacks but primals instead!

Although those early feelings of maternal rejection did give shape and substance to my neurosis, its origins lay elsewhere. After eight months of feeling the early pain of such rejection, I began the inexorable re-living of my most difficult birth which I consider to be the actual source of my neurosis. The birth primals continue to this day, almost three decades after they began!

I recently read these telling words which refer to severe psychological symptoms of very early (intrauterine) origin being triggered when the memories relate to present-day hurts or needs and become unrepressed during "...some childhood, adolescent or adult crisis of miserable failure or rejection." [(my emphasis) (Frank Lake, M.D. Mutual Caring, Edited by Stephen Maret, Ph.D., (2009) p. 76 - original edition (1982)]

Dr. Lake in an earlier work wrote about the fear of commitment:

A Schizoid Phobia of Commitment

When a young man, otherwise in perfect health, is contemplat虹ng the bonds of holy matrimony, he may find himself in the grip of a schizoid commitment-phobia which drives him back into bachelordom with a recoil of terror. He is answering the question `Who am I?' in terms of the most impressive experience of his life history. The fact that this experience certainly occurred before his first birthday, and probably before he was six months old, does not alter this assertion. He is saying, `I am, still, the person who learned by experience that to commit oneself to a bonded relationship with a woman is to invite disaster. I am the one whose utmost longing was worthless. I am the one who could not, even in agony of dereliction, persuade my mother to come until it was too late to prevent the destruction of myself and my whole world of trustful personal relationships. I am, therefore, not the committing sort, not the marrying sort. I am the lone wolf, the cool cat. I am the one who finds safety only in solitary non-commitment.'

When this young man looks at his half-intended wife-to-be he does not really look at her as she is, nor at himself as one whom she has seen and chosen. He sees in her all the potentialities for destructiveness which, all unwittingly, resided in his mother's technique of infant management, or the agonies of his birth. [Frank Lake, M.D. in Clinical Psychology (1966), p. 505.]

See my more recent article, Panic Attacks: Symptoms & Dangers - Their Origins in Early Traumas which provides evidence that panic and anxiety attacks are ultimately derived from birth trauma, although, as in my case described above, lesser traumas may trigger their release. The article was written 35 (thirty-five) years after this article.  

To corrupt is the ultimate goal

A.T.: Sylvie Imelda Shene hi sis ^^ look this kind boy how he turned to villain because of bad society  from a little kind child to villain snakeman  the problem is our societies can't understand that anymore ^^ No one is ever born evil

Kabuto Yakushi's Childhood | Kabuto Meets Orochimaru

Sylvie Imelda Shene: Thank you for writing and sharing the video with me. I agree with you, no one is born evil. Most people are corrupted at a very young age -- when their brains are not yet fully developed. 

This is why I'm most outraged about the psychological warfare I went through at my job of nine and half years after I published my book. NOW I'm strong emotionally to handle it, but an emotionally vulnerable person would have been thrown over the edge to hurt themselves, others or both. 

And this is why I wrote my book to be one more enlightened witness in this world for people.

The world is full and run by sociopaths -- they will not change -- It's us that have to become enlightened to see clearly the traps, mind games, manipulations and become  emotionally strong --  to not let ourselves be corrupted and manipulated by sociopaths -- their goal is to corrupt others and drive others to commit crimes -- so they can point the finger at others to cover up their own crimes. 

This game is being played right now at the highest office in the United States. Just like Marie France Hirigoyen articulated beautifully in her book Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and the Erosion of Identity: "The ideal outcome for the abuser is to succeed in making the other “evil,” which transforms the evil into something more normal because it is now shared. He wants to inject the other with what is bad in him. TO CORRUPT IS THE ULTIMATE GOAL."