Sunday, December 11, 2016
A Friend that Voted for Donald Trump Feels Like a Betrayal
Hi Sylvie! I finally have the time and head space to write this morning. Today marks the end of another crazy month. Crazy world. Crazy life. It's so challenging to maintain focus and keep looking ahead as you know but we're doing it.
I must say that the world as we knew it is gone for good. I believe that we haven't seen anything yet as far as crazy goes and I am glad to be stronger emotionally than I was before to deal with it all.
From a distance, here in Canada, people think that the US election and all that came with it has nothing to do with our country. As if the US is isolated from the rest of the world. We do have different policies but we are directly connected and what most Canadians take for granted could be jeopardized in the future. It's really hard for me to believe that Trump is on his way to full presidency in January.
I have friends who voted for him in Florida. People whom I thought were way more advanced than they really are in this light of day. I know why they voted for him but although I don't wish to discredit or eliminate them from my life, I feel somewhat betrayed. Hypocrisy and two faced beings are very difficult to accept for me now that I have a pretty clean slate. Once we clean the garbage, see the lies, clear illusions and face our truth as ugly, sad, confusing, painful and puzzling as it is. Once we own it and work really hard to pull ourselves out it is almost impossible to accept others bullshit. I know you've become an expert and you actively express your anger and are not afraid of speaking out loud and I admire your courage for doing so. I'm still working on understanding and finding ways to navigate myself.
Since my last email message I am out of the roller coaster but still feel fragile and unsteady on my feet. As if a ‘’faux pas’’ would send me back down. I don't repress the emotions, the tears the pain. I welcome it all and whenever I think back and look at the road I've traveled I feel that a whole lot has been understood, the dots have been connected to my childhood and teen years and I can recognize the dangers and the vicious circle as they show up in this reality. I feel free and grateful for having the courage and the will to face it all. It was a hell of a ride but I would do it all over again knowing how positively transformed I am today. Now and then I tell myself that when life present me with new opportunities for fresh relationships I will be better equipped and hopefully won't fall for the same kind of illusions and manipulations as before. I am proud to not have children and put other innocent beings through this mess. I have come to the realization that no matter how hard we work at improving ourselves there’s always going to be outside circumstances that will fuck it up and put our safety at risk. I really think that humanity is stuck in a major self destructive pattern, set on a mission to erase any trace of life. I would like to be hopeful. I used to be. Now I feel more neutral, disappointed and disgusted about it all. Who shines a light are people like you fighting for the big causes. I still have to regain some energy to enter this fight. I trust that time will show the way and the strength will build up again inside. You were so right when you encouraged me to keep going, to be patient, to trust that it will pass and transform. I am so glad to know you Sylvie.
I hope that your own personal life, work, writing, health, love are on the upper hand still and again. I think about you often and always send gratitude and warmth your way. We are entering the Holidays and I feel more into it than last year. I used to really enjoy the anticipation and the spirit of the whole thing except for the last one and I will be more involved this year. Maybe your Christmas will be white in Chicago with your man. I hope you get spoiled and loved more than ever before.
Thanks for being there girl!
Hugs and love from me in Montreal
Thank you for writing. I don’t have much time to write anymore, but I don’t want to let another day slip by without at least writing a quick e-mail.
I agree with you the world as we know it is forever gone. Humanity is in for very dark times. Yes, I feel betrayed by people I know that voted for Trump and I’m very sad that some are pretty close friends.
Congratulations on your new job and for connecting the dots in your life.
Wish you much continue courage and strength in this s very dark world.