I discovered mine over a period of years, slowly and gently by the things and people that I surrounded myself by. I think people are in our lives at the time they are in our lives and our adversities as well as our joys shape us into the beautiful people we are. I don’t discount the wrongs you were done at the hands of your family & that famous dr. Phil type doctor but they made you the beautiful and compassionate person you are now.
The desire you have to help others is kind. My daughter is coming to peace with her traumas by being a Catholic missionary. I think the discoveries of oneself can be had in the beauties of our beliefs. Because they are strong and with self-discovery, you find what satisfies your life. I know you are an atheist but the believing is not where the falsehood lies. I believe that “God dwells in us, as us.” But I don’t discount my daughter's avenue of self-discovery. Her journey is not mine, or mine hers or yours. I just wanted to share my thoughts, I enjoyed your book, thank you for writing it. K
Again thank you for reading my book and take good care,
P.S you might like reading the exchange between me and Donald below, it shows that is the love and the freedom experienced in childhood and finding a true enlightened witness as an adult that helps us heal from traumas, and became courageous adults with kind souls and not the traumas we suffered.
“Dear Donald, your words are touching me deeply. I have no doubt that thanks to having my mother’s protection and full attention in those few earlier years, and her letting me play and explore freely, that’s why I was able to preserve my soul/feelings. And from this short experience of freedom in my childhood was the bases that gave me the strength to rebel and stand up to those trying to repress me and murder my soul/feelings, this experienced freedom was my compass in life to guide me to find a true enlightened witness like Alice Miller, so I could really fully liberate myself and this time preserve it. I did not include this memory in the book, but it just came to mind: I remember my older sisters being mad at my mother when I was a teenager and blaming her for me being so difficult and rebellious, they told her it was her fault, because she had let me run wild as a small child when I was left alone with her in the village. Thank goodness for those few wild years in the village. Those were the best years of my childhood.