Sunday, June 7, 2015

Love and Freedom Experienced in Childhood that Turns us into Compassionate Adults

Sylvie, I read your book & I just wanted to share my thoughts with you.  I loved the title, a dance to freedom.  Dancing to me is liberating as well as dealing with those things within ourselves that need liberating. I totally agree with you on how childhood trauma shapes our life.  But I don’t think everyone’s way of learning this is the same.   You had some very tortuous weeks and dealt with a lot of pain very tumultuously at once.  

I discovered mine over a period of years, slowly and gently by the things and people that I surrounded myself by.  I think people are in our lives at the time they are in our lives and our adversities as well as our joys shape us into the beautiful people we are.  I don’t discount the wrongs you were done at the hands of your family & that famous dr. Phil type doctor but they made you the beautiful and compassionate person you are now.  

The desire you have to help others is kind.  My daughter is coming to peace with her traumas by being a Catholic missionary.  I think the discoveries of oneself can be had in the beauties of our beliefs.   Because they are strong and with self-discovery, you find what satisfies your life.  I know you are an atheist but the believing is not where the falsehood lies.  I believe that “God dwells in us, as us.”  But I don’t discount my daughter's avenue of self-discovery.  Her journey is not mine, or mine hers or yours.  I just wanted to share my thoughts, I enjoyed your book, thank you for writing it. K

K,
Thank you for writing to share your thoughts and thank you for reading my book. I am glad you enjoyed reading it. I like to respond in more detail to your letter, but my time is very limited right now so I will do it when I have some free time.
Again thank you for reading my book and take good care,
Sylvie

P.S you might like reading the exchange between me and Donald below, it shows that is the love and the freedom experienced in childhood and finding a true enlightened witness as an adult that helps us heal from traumas, and became courageous adults with kind souls and not the traumas we suffered.

“Dear Donald, your words are touching me deeply. I have no doubt that thanks to having my mother’s protection and full attention in those few earlier years, and her letting me play and explore freely, that’s why I was able to preserve my soul/feelings. And from this short experience of freedom in my childhood was the bases that gave me the strength to rebel and stand up to those trying to repress me and murder my soul/feelings, this experienced freedom was my compass in life to guide me to find a true enlightened witness like Alice Miller, so I could really fully liberate myself and this time preserve it. I did not include this memory in the book, but it just came to mind: I remember my older sisters being mad at my mother when I was a teenager and blaming her for me being so difficult and rebellious, they told her it was her fault, because she had let me run wild as a small child when I was left alone with her in the village. Thank goodness for those few wild years in the village. Those were the best years of my childhood.

Sadly these words in your comment above could not be truer: Thank you for writing. It’s nice to connect to another soul capable of feeling and seeing: “(otherwise they remain in the darkness of compulsive repetition without an enlightened witness) and that this is a life and death matter in a world that is rapidly plummeting to its destruction on every conceivable level due to the individual and collective global repression and denial of childhood traumas and how this is being manifested in our child abusing and neglecting, animal enslaving and slaughtering and earth-raping death culture of addictions, narcissism, and materialism. Anything, however well-intentioned it may be, that evades the central reality of Alice Miller’s message is only inadvertently, hypocritically and unconsciously contributing to the above. Your book is a beacon of light that points the way to true liberation through your own story and how Alice Miller’s body of work enabled you to find your “dance to freedom.” Despite all that you had had to absorb and defend against from your family and culture there was something very true, vital and pure(* see below) inside you to have been able to so clearly recognize the truth in Alice Miller’s work and to be able to take her message to heart, fully embracing it and applying it to your own life and becoming your own enlightened witness with her assistance. Sincerely,” Donald Warner Parker” Read more here 

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