The Games People Play

Hi J,

Yes, the mind games some people play are always the same! Idealize, devalue and discard.   

At my job of nine and half years and a few of my boyfriends followed exactly these patterns: idealize, devalue and discard! They hate me because they are not able to manipulate my emotions with their mind games to get the reactions they want out of me. 

I will never allow anyone again to manipulate me like my boyfriend of 10 years did. 

Never again will I give people the pleasure to trigger my emotions to manipulate me to get the reactions they want out of me.

Once you truly resolve your childhood repression no one can manipulate you like that again! Free at last!  

I never fell for the illusions and mind games of some people in the community where I worked for nine and half years. I knew all the little gifts they gave me over the years, it was all a game for them to fool me, especially the property manager, so when they had the opportunity to stab me in the back,  and I would not know where it came from. 

They never fooled me. I see it very clearly! I know when people are giving from the heart or to manipulate me and fool me. I can only imagine what a failure they all must be feeling because probably for the first time in their lives, they were not able to fool someone and are being exposed for the fraud that they are.

Some people thrive on drama and chaos, it's a source of supply for them that helps them feel alive. 

Hurting and destroying others' lives is their painkilling drug. It's an addiction that keeps their own childhood repression intact. Just like I wrote in my book A Dance to Freedom page 118: "... as long our pain remains repressed we will unconsciously and compulsively do to others what was once done to us."

During the love-bombing or idealizing phase, they are trying to get you hooked, and once they think you are hooked, they will back off. Your reactions to their withdrawal of affection -- when you try to bridge the gap and return things like they were at the beginning of the relationship, this is a better supply to them than the love-bombing or idealized phase! The target who is yelling and fighting to get things on an even keel is priceless to the person playing mind games. 

This person never loved or liked us during the love-bombing or idealizing phase, but they are at least engaged and entertained in securing our affections "the game". They do not love us also during the devalue phase, but our reaction to the devalue phase is still nevertheless engaging and ego-boosting for them.

Building up and tearing down, it doesn't matter - it is all source of supply for the person playing games. All actions cause a reaction, and that constitutes the supply. When they don't get a reaction from their target, they move on and start the whole process with a new target. They never change, they will play this game forever, until they take their last breath. Sad.