I do See Plenty of Traditional Old Traps Everywhere

Hello Sylvie. I have just finished reading your book for the second time. The first time it was before I met my latest boyfriend and second after. Amazing how many new things I could find there and how much support I felt. Before this boyfriend, I knew nothing about prison systems and alcoholism and AA. ... and yoga after meeting him I fell for all of these traps( except for yoga I love It) and got really entangled myself and him into this scary shit. I worked for a very short period as a prison guard. Only one month because I got completely appalled by the complete, utter and devastating repression behind the typical Swedish benign facade. I just run from there. They manufacture a special prison type of AA where they completely break down and mentally rape the inmates. Everything is well seasoned by the Christian priests so the rape is complete and irreversible. I felt a little sorry for T so I contacted him upon leaving this disguising workplace. I was half stupid and half smart so I told him what I thought about those horrid false priests but unfortunately, I ushered him to AA believing that it would keep him from alcohol. Of course, the priest did not give a hoot about him as soon as they learned about me and as soon as he left the prison gates. His AA sponsor vanished without a trace. Suddenly we were left totally abandoned and brainfucked. Of course, T was brainwashed as much as he could be and we were cheated out of money. He was abused wherever he set his foot. We could not stay together because of the stress. And even I attacked him and expected him to hit the rock bottom as Al-Anon advice me. Sylvie, you are the only one who has yet spoken about the true nature of these very harmful and abusive outright evil organizations.

He is a broken almost homeless man now. Do you have any idea what I could say to him? I don’t. I feel sorry for alcoholics of his type. Anyway. What I want to say foremost is thank you for being truthful. That is already so much.

Dear V,

Thank you for writing. I’m happy to read that you got a lot more by reading my book for the second time and you feel supported by it.

To be a support to others that’s why I wrote my book sharing my story.

I too used to like the trap of yoga and believe it or not I got Kripalu yoga teachers training certificate before my emotional liberation when I was still looking for help and answers.

 Yoga is a very charming, alluring and seductive trap; it was another dead end or a trap.

Yoga is good practice to keep the body flexible, but like Al-Anon, kept me emotionally stuck for years.

Yoga is a great tool for strengthening the walls of repression and master the art of repression to perfection -- it helps us survive in our emotional prison, but will never help anyone resolve their childhood repression and  will not liberate anyone, to the contrary will create a trap so deep and walls so thick that very few will be able to escape from it, because it creates the illusion of freedom and well-being by helping people repress their authentic painful feelings completely and falsify them with feel-good feelings they don’t have, just like a chemical drug does, yoga is a mind-altering no chemical drug, but does not help people resolve their childhood repression and they will endless continue stuck unconsciously and compulsively reenacting their childhood  drama in one form or another sooner or later --- as long people's repression goes unresolved someone down the road will have to pay the price --- if not this generation -- a future generation will pay for this generation lack of courage to open their eyes to see, face and feel their own painful truths.

I agree with you, most “helpers” or “mental health professionals” working in institutions cause more harm than help by strengthening the walls of people’s emotional prisons  -- making it near to impossible for people to ever liberate themselves.

I feel for people that suffered extreme brain damage in their early years and depend on mental health professionals to help them.

To this day I have not met a mental health care provider that can provide real assistance in people’s healing and liberation, if you are not able to find the strength and courage to stand on your own two feet and create for yourself the space and time to heal, I am sorry to say, but you are screwed, because most likely you will not find an institution and mental health providers that can provide real assistance.  

However, I do see plenty of traditional old traps everywhere.  These words by Alice Miller come to mind: “when I am looking for them on the Internet I find plenty of esoteric and religious offers, plenty of denials, commercial interests, traditional traps, but not at all what I am looking for.”

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2013/12/plenty-of-traditional-old-traps-on.html

 

I’m sorry you felt abandoned by these people casting themselves in the role of parent figures acting as if personality pretending to know better and to be more knowledgeable with memorized half-baked concepts they never experienced themselves to fool themselves and others.

This has been my experience throughout my life too. And I felt abandoned constantly, but now that I have developed my adult self -- I will not ever abandon myself no matter if others in the external world do.

If I had not found the books and website of Alice Miller for guidance and support to stand alone on my own two feet I would still be living in an emotional prison and would never have emotionally liberated myself from all these people along the way happy to cast themselves as substitute parent’ figures standing in symbolizing my parents or childhood caregivers. Like this psychologist from the Netherlands was trying to regress me into the state of the child and cast herself as my substitute mother figure.
http://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2018/04/most-therapists-keep-themselves-others.html

I wish I had suggestions of what to say to your boyfriend, but I don’t. Once a person is an adult, only he can find the courage to open his eyes to see and feel. We can't force anyone to open their eyes to see. We can only offer to be a support to them if they find the courage to open their eyes to see and feel, but we have to be careful to not be used and manipulated by people that only are looking for enablers to support their avoidance behaviors and denials.

Most people are just looking for pacifiers, like for example yoga to soothe themselves. I refuse to be used as someone’s pacifier.

Wishing you courage and strength in your path to your truth and emotional liberation,

Sylvie

PS. I started writing to you a week ago, but my work has been so busy that i have not had much time to write to people and the child within me does not want me to sit in a desk when I’m off work. When off work we want to play and relax with the kitties and go out for walks in the park.

My experience at my job of nine and half years after I published my book with a mob of very repressed people that some have become full-blown sociopaths -- since then the little girl within me has given up on humanity and doesn’t want me to spend my free time given to others that end up turning against me sooner or later in one form or another, so for the rest of my life I want to enjoy my freedom and most of my free time is giving the little girl within me the love, time and attention it deserves, but never got from anyone.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/09/big-cover-up-by-sociopaths-at-my-ex-job.html

Read my blog Experienced Knowledge about my experience with emotional harassment in the workplace.