Playing the Victim Card can Get you Far

She thinks she is in "control"! She believes she is brighter than those around her because of all the intellectual knowledge she has learned from me, and she has the illusion that gives her an advantage in the games people play. However, she doesn't realize that she is still emotionally blind by the unresolved repressed emotions of the child she once was. She is driven by unresolved, repressed emotions into the state of repetition compulsion, and intellectual knowledge and money alone will not save her or liberate her.

The only way to free herself was to walk away from her mother and her money and allow herself the time and space to understand and feel all her emotions within the context of her own childhood.

But her greed or obsession with money and lack of courage to walk away keep her in the emotional prison of her mother! And her mother has her exactly where she wants her to be by playing the victim card to get her daughter's attention, then picking her up in her BMW to go out to eat and on little trips to show off her jewelry and how rich she is.

And also, by playing the victim card when she is with her sisters to get them to feel sorry for her and by making them feel guilty, they will be there for her the way she wants them to be, without having to give them anything anymore, because now she is hiding behind her daughter. She can say her daughter is in control of everything! She is getting the best of both worlds! Like they say here in America, she wants to have her cake and eat it too! She has it both ways, just like she likes it!

Her mother is an old lady, but she's still very good at playing the game and directing everyone around her to play the part she wants them to play in her twisted drama. She got exactly what she wanted from the chaos she created, and all the chips fell exactly where she wanted them to —on her side! She is the only winner here! And me! Her daughter was the only link to the family's little dramas, and NOW I'm totally free! Thank you!

"Pain is the way to the truth. By denying that you were unloved as a child, you spare yourself some pain, but you are not with your own truth. And throughout your whole life, you'll try to earn love. In therapy, avoiding pain causes blockage. Yet nobody can confront being neglected or hated without feeling guilty. "It is my fault that my mother is cruel," he thinks. "I made my mother furious; what can I do to make her loving?" So he will continue trying to make her love him. The guilt is really protection against the terrible realization that you are fated to have a mother who cannot love. This is much more painful than to think, "Oh, she is a good mother, it's only me who's bad." Because then you can try to do something to get love. But it's not true; you cannot earn love. And feeling guilty for what has been done to you only supports your blindness and your neurosis."

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2012/12/removing-reins-of-guilt.html

The aunt she hates so much was raised by her mother, so her aunt is a victim of her mother's upbringing as much as she is. They have more in common than she thinks...