Shame is a core part of narcissism:
Narcissistic shame: The experience of a
narcissist's grandiose fantasies being at odds with their reality
Toxic shame: A state of being where shame
becomes a core part of a person's identity
Shame-based lives: Many narcissists live
their lives in a state of shame, but they won't admit it
Shame can be a helpful emotion that helps people adhere to societal norms. However, when shame becomes toxic, it can lead to psychological issues.
Toxic shame can be created when a child is forced to adapt to a narcissistic parent's needs, and is not allowed to be their own person. This can lead to a child internalizing shame, which can become a baseline for how they function.
Some ways that shame can create a narcissist include:
It's easier to have a mask
It can be easier for someone to have a grandiose mask than to face their inner turmoil.
Looking down on others
Narcissists can look down on others so they don't have to imagine anything wrong with themselves.
"...when shame becomes a state of being that it becomes toxic.
The narcissistic parent will tactfully shame others so that they will put the narcissist first and obey the narcissist’s every demand to avoid more shame."
Narcissists base your character on the way you react to their abuse. If you fight back then you are abusive. If you do what they did to you, you are vindictive. If you show them the way they have been treating you, then you are petty and childish. The only reaction a Narcissist wants is blind acceptance. They could say and do whatever they want, and you have to let them without any opposition. If you don't react the way that they want, then you are the cause and the reason for the conflict.
Narcissists are like toddlers trapped in an adult body.
This is why they have so many tantrums and behave like children.
The narcissist has trained the entire family, by example, how to treat you. Once you have been labelled as the bad one, you are fair game for siblings, spouses, children, relatives, even family friends to pick on.
A narcissist will neglect their partners, friends and children in multiple ways but gladly help a coworker, neighbor, or stranger. Why? Because it's all about their image and getting praise from others. They save their abusive behavior for behind closed doors or when they are no witnesses.
Yes, it's the public that sucks. Until society involves we will just have two choices to choose from: pure evil and the lesser evil. So until then I will keep voting for the lesser evil.
Totally off topic! Has nothing to do with narcissism! Just enteristing to know from where these American's sayings come from!
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