This blog is to debunk the lie of some saying I went to Portugal playing the role of a therapist.
First of all, therapists get paid good money! I never charged anyone! I shared freely my time and the information that was helpful to me.
Time that I will never get back. Time to me is the most valued thing on this planet!
I can't force anyone to open their eyes to see and feel their painful emotions within the context of their childhoods. I have learned to walk away from anyone who lacks the courage to open their eyes to see and feel, family or not family.
I also should add that the people going around saying I was playing therapist. I never chased anyone, they were the ones chasing me and following me around that I could not have a minute to myself.
I couldn't wait to come back to the United States so I could have time for myself again. One was always dropping her 3-year-old with me because she couldn't handle taking care of her own small child.
Now I realize they were not following me around because they wanted to learn from me and grow as human beings but were just using me. And to collect data they could use one day as tools of manipulation and control to give them an advantage in the games people play.
I told them many times that I was allowing them to use me to distract themselves from themselves but one day I would not let them use me anymore. That day has arrived and now they are mad at me and doing everything to discredit me so they can pretend to be superior walking around wearing my skin to fool people but time always reveals who is real and who is fake pretending to be someone they are not.
I saved her 4-year-old son's psyche enough for now as an adult to make threats against me to suppress the truth, facts, and evidence from himself and others. His mother who abandoned him physically and emotionally when he was a defenseless little child is protected from his unresolved repressed hatred and is directing his hatred towards me instead. It's sad but it is what it is.
They say, "Misery loves Company" Well I say, "Narcissists love to bring happy people down." What BETTER type of power trip to a narcissist's ego than to take a naturally happy person and by their own "amazing abilities" turn them into a shell of their former selves while walking off "wearing their skin"? You know that they WANT to see you laying on the sidewalk, crying out in pain because you're "nothing" without them; just as they told you (or insinuated many times). ~ANA (After Narcissistic Abuse)
I made it very clear in the introduction of my book on pages 15 and 16 that I didn't want to be a therapist to anyone as you can read below:
"This is why all of us need a path — or a dance, if you will — to freedom. Once you explore your truth, incredible things can start to happen. Chronic symptoms, mental as well as physical, can start to disappear. As Alice Miller writes, we can “claim health, clarity, and independence for ourselves. Claim them, and maintain them. Only thus can we keep our feet on firm ground, and not be dependent on drugs, gurus, groups, or theories that teach us how to change our past.”5 The dirty little secret is that we can’t change the things that happened to us. But we can find the courage to face them, mourn our past, and move forward. If a person like me — with no formal education or special talents — can do it, then you can, too.
This book, along with all or any of Alice Miller’s books, can be an enlightened witness that helps you with your own dance to freedom. When I started corresponding with Alice Miller in the last years of her life, I told her that I wanted to help her spread the word about her discoveries. No one who wants the truth should have to wait as long as I did. And that’s why I wrote this book.
It’s both a tribute to Alice Miller and a guide to her ideas. I’m not a therapist, and I don’t want to be anyone’s therapist. But I do want to help people as a friend would, by sharing my experiences and explaining how Alice Miller helped me heal when everything else failed. If you struggle with anger, resentment, depression, addiction, disease or a bad relationship, Alice Miller can help you gain what you missed as a child — “truthfulness, clarity, and respect for yourself and others.”6 I’ve done a lot of the legwork for you, and if you can learn from my story you can avoid many of the mistakes I made during my own dance to freedom.
You can find your freedom a lot sooner than I did. It’s time to liberate yourself from the victim role you fell into as a child when you lacked the resources you needed to take care of yourself and stand up to your oppressors. I’m living proof that Alice Miller’s ideas work. And I’m happy to share my dance to freedom with you in the hope that it inspires you to start your own."
If you think talking to a licensed therapist can be helpful to you, to help you develop the courage to stay still to consciously feel your painful emotions within the context of your childhood -- to stop focusing on the people around you -- and instead put the focus on yourself -- and stop using scapegoats to temporarily and superficially alleviate your childhood repression read Alice Miller's article in the link below on how to find the right therapist.
https://www.alice-miller.com/en/faq-how-to-find-the-right-therapist/
Hypocrisy is the narcissist's middle name. What they say and do when no one is watching, is drastically different from what they say and do in the presence of others. Since they are all about maintaining their false persona, they use projection to rid the unwanted traits in their character by magically disowning the parts of themselves that reflect negatively on their personas and accusing you of the exact things they're guilty of doing.
Divorce is ok.
Breaking up is ok.
Starting over is ok.
Moving on is ok.
Saying no is ok.
Being alone is ok.
What is not ok is staying somewhere that you aren't happy, valued or appreciated,
That is not ok.
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