"1. He sees all emotional reactions as attention. Narcissists thrive on getting attention, feeling special, and having control. He is an expert at getting an emotional reaction out of you – good or bad – because it makes him feel powerful and better than you. The best thing you can do is not react. I often tell my clients to use fewer words – don’t bother getting into a discussion or trying to explain your point – it won’t work, and only gets you sucked further into his crazy, which is what he wants. So, say little, walk away, and extract yourself.
2. They try to keep the relationship not to love you, but to control you. When a rift of any kind does occur in the relationship, he tries to get you back – with false promises – not because he really wants a better, healthy relationship with you, but because he wants to control you. He must win. He must have the final say. This is part of the abuse cycle. He wants you back for his own purposes.
3. All his thoughts are focused on getting attention and feeling special. Everything in his life, and I mean everything, are about filling that bottomless pit inside him that needs to feel superior, special, and the focus of attention. Don’t be fooled – what might seem like a kind act almost always has a hidden agenda to serve his own purposes. Nothing is a higher priority to him than feeling special."
Click in the link below to read all the 10 Truths Narcissists Want to hide from you. The author uses the pronoun "he" for convenience but of course aplies also to the female narcissit.
https://limetreecounseling.com/10-truths-narcissists-hide/
Contrary to what their aggressors have others believe, victims are not, at the outset, particularly weak or mentally unhealthy individuals. Quite the opposite: harassment is often set in motion when a victim refuses to give in to a boss’s authoritarian procedures. She is targeted because of her capacity to resist authority, even under pressure. …"
You caught the narcissist's eye because you are a capable, caring, loving person, everything they are not. They set out to prove that your personality was as fake as theirs. They tried to shatter your self- confidence, take away your security and make you beg them for more emotional abuse. In their twisted minds this emotional wreck before them is the real, pitiful you and you deserve to be outted. Love is foreign to them and so is the pain of a broken heart. ~Y. Clerebout
Yes, I'm very grateful. I figured them out and I have arrived. Free at last!
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