Yes, they do! Good analogy!
Narcissists develop a false self as a child to survive in a hostile environment and lack the courage to be authentic and consciously feel and understand their feelings within the context of their childhood. They are constantly unconsciously and compulsively looking for scapegoats to transfer and project their unresolved feelings of shame and hatred.
Narcissists are the classic case Alice Miller describes beautifully in her book The Drama of the Gifted Child.
“It is precisely because a child’s feelings are so strong that they cannot be repressed without serious consequences. The stronger a prisoner is, the thicker the prison walls have to be, and unfortunately, these walls also impede or completely prevent later emotional growth. “Alice Miller (The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self) Page 58
“Many people who can tolerate the loss of beauty, health, youth, or loved ones and, although they grieve, do so without depression. In contrast, there are those with great gifts, often precisely the most gifted, who do suffer from severe depression. For one is free from it only when self-esteem is based on the authenticity of one ‘own feelings and not on the possession of certain qualities.” Alice Miller (The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self) Page 34
“If the repression stays unresolved, the parents’ childhood tragedy is unconsciously continued on in their children” Alice Miller (The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self) Page 23
"The grandiose person is never really free; first because he is excessively dependent on admiration from others, and second, because his self-respect is dependent on qualities, functions, and achievements that can suddenly fail." Alice Miller (The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self) Page 36
“We cannot really love if we are forbidden to know our truth, the truth about our parents and caregivers as well as about ourselves. We can only try to behave as if we were loving, but this hypocritical behavior is the opposite of love. It is confusing and deceptive, and it produces much helpless rage in the deceived person. This rage must be repressed in the presence of the pretended “love,” especially if one is dependent, as a child is, on the person who is masquerading in this illusion of love.” Alice Miller (The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self) Page 23
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=the+drama+of+the+gifted+child
Good points 👉 Individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) need "narcissistic supply," attention, admiration, and positive validation they crave and rely on to maintain their fragile sense of self-worth.
What is Narcissistic Supply?
Narcissistic supply is a term used to describe the attention, admiration, and validation that individuals with NPD seek and require to bolster their fragile self-esteem. It's essentially the fuel that keeps their inflated sense of self-importance running.
Why do Narcissists Need It?
People with NPD often have a deep-seated insecurity and a lack of genuine self-love, making them highly dependent on external validation to feel good about themselves.
Without this constant stream of admiration, they may experience feelings of emptiness, inadequacy, or even depression.
Narcissistic supply can manifest in various ways, including:
Public Attention: This can include praise, accolades, or recognition for achievements or accomplishments.
Interpersonal Relationships: Narcissists often seek attention and admiration through relationships, manipulating others to feel important and special.
Excessive Praise and Flattery: Narcissists are drawn to people who constantly praise and flatter them, reinforcing their sense of grandiosity.
Attention-Seeking Behaviors: Narcissists may engage in attention-seeking behaviors, such as gossiping, lying, or creating drama to gain attention and validation.
Impact of Narcissistic Supply:
The constant need for narcissistic supply can lead to a number of problems, including:
Emotional Instability: The constant need for validation can lead to emotional instability and mood swings.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists may lack empathy and struggle to understand the feelings and needs of others.
Exploitation of Others: Narcissists may exploit others to gain narcissistic supply, often without regard for their feelings or well-being.
Yep! All is connected to childhood.
Yes, it's a virus.
Money addiction is one of the worst addictions ever.
Yes, most people are prostituting themselves. My passion is peace and quiet away from most people.
Most people out there are prostituting themselves every day, and this is why they are unhappy and suffering from depression and are self-medicating with all kinds of things like religious cults or any other type of cults, food, sex, and codependent on unhealthy relationships or dependent on antidepressants. It’s a tragedy! I wish I had included the very truthful quote below of Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in my book; I will definitely include it in my next book!
"Any human being that was born into a family that loves "if", will have problems in life, horrible problems, because they all become prostitutes. You will prostitute yourself with good behavior. Do you understand the word prostitution? What sense do I mean by that? You will believe that you can buy love with good grades, that you can buy love with good behavior, that you can buy love if you look pretty, and your need for approval will always be insatiable, and you will always be unhappy for the rest of your life."
-- Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross excerpt from the video Understanding death & suicide - part 2
"Pain is the way to the truth. By denying that you were unloved as a child, you spare yourself some pain, but you are not with your own truth. And throughout your whole life, you'll try to earn love. In therapy, avoiding pain causes a blockage. Yet nobody can confront being neglected or hated without feeling guilty. "It is my fault that my mother is cruel," he thinks. "I made my mother furious; what can I do to make her loving?" So he will continue trying to make her love him. The guilt is really protection against the terrible realization that you are fated to have a mother who cannot love. This is much more painful than thinking, "Oh, she is a good mother; it's only me who's bad." Because then you can try to do something to get love. But it's not true; you cannot earn love. And feeling guilty for what has been done to you only supports your blindness and your neurosis." -- Alice Miller
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