Showing posts sorted by relevance for query primal therapy. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query primal therapy. Sort by date Show all posts

Thursday, August 9, 2012

The risks of primal therapy



Alice’s truthful words below are exactly why so many try to suppress her books, because she exposes how gurus and cult leaders use primal therapy and other regression methods to manipulate people, and that is exactly what Daniel Mackler is trying to do. Others like him, and that is also what I witnessed happening at the cult People Unlimited. It’s obvious that this is also what happens in Scientology, and this is why we have to be very careful with primal therapy and any other therapy that uses methods of regression and never put our lives in someone else’s hands. The trick is to face, feel, experience, and witness the repressed feelings of the child we once were as they are triggered by present events without losing adult consciousness.

 “…In the last few years I have come to the conclusion that primal therapy is not always free of dangers, that it must be embarked upon under expert guidance and not as a form of self-therapy. This conclusion is tantamount to a retraction of my earlier ideas on this subject.
Numerous studies on cult groups have enlightened us on the latest methods of human manipulation. It transpires that these groups frequently use primal-therapy techniques to brainwash the members they have recruited into a state of regression and thus make them completely docile and malleable. Thus, primal therapy runs the risk of being misused for commercial purposes and reinforcing the individual’s dependency on the group rather than encouraging his autonomy, as I had originally hoped. Today, however, therapists are using new approaches with awareness both of the advantages of primal therapy (its closeness to feelings) and of its dangers (manipulation and addictive dependency on pain), and they attempt to use this awareness to the benefit of their patient.
In my preface to the paperback edition of Jean Jenson’s Reclaiming Your Life (Meridian, 1996) I have set out my queries and doubts in connection with primal therapy; I would refer the reader to that text for a more extensive discussion of the subject. Shortly after the publication of the way version of The Drama of the Gifted Child by Basic Books in January 1994, letters from readers and subsequent research on my part made me realize that my recommendation of primal therapy as a form of self-help had been premature. The swift initial successes were unfortunately not of lasting duration, and many correspondents reported that the anguish aroused in the process was too great to be borne alone. So it became obvious to me that it is all but impossible to live through and dissipate these anxieties without expert guidance. At the same time, the awareness was borne in upon me that in a state of regression it is not possible to judge the competence and integrity of the person one has turned to for such guidance. This opens up all kinds of opportunities for abuse. The intensive phase with which primal therapy begins is an immediate obstacle to the formation of a balanced, critical, independent assessment of the therapist’s abilities by the client. The fact that the attendant uncritical and irrational expectations of healing and “salvation” can lead to the establishment of totalitarian sects is borne out by the crass example of mass abuse at the hands of the exponents of “feeling therapy” as described in detail by Carol Lynn Mithers in her book Therapy Gone Mad: The True Story of Hundreds of Patients and a Generation Betrayed (1994). But this study was possible only after the community she describes had disbanded, something that frequently takes decades. Today we know that such groups exist and that members of sects are done irremediable harm before they become aware of the fact. And when their dilemma finally does dawn on them, it is frequently too late to do anything about it because they have lost all contact with their original social background and hence have no sources of moral support or financial assistance outside the sect, to which they are then frequently shackled by the debts they have run up.  

Despite the eloquence of Mithers’ example, I would still not have been fully alive to the danger of abuse in primal therapy without the information on the way sects operate that I derived from the publications of the Swiss journalist Hugo Stamm, who interviewed me for a weekly magazine. The literature on cult groups helped me understand the psychological mechanisms exploited by sects and similar groups the world over. Gurus bent on maximizing their commercial gains and personal power profit to a high degree from the loss of the perceptive faculties forfeited by so many people early in childhood.”

Taken from the Preface to the Revised Edition of 1997 of the Book “Breaking Down the Wall of Silence” by Alice Miller


















Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Dependency Breeds Hatred

Thank you for writing and sharing your story with me. I am sorry that the child you once were lived with so much terror and has left a painful imprint on your body that is affecting your health and causing you to lose your autonomy.  

I am so sorry.  I can understand your fantasy that primal therapy would liberate you from your repressed emotions and therefore heal your body and start on the road to autonomy. Still, I don’t think primal or any other therapy will help at the moment.

Having someone who understands your situation and whom you can talk to freely about all your feelings will be much more helpful. If you really want to find an enlightened witness, follow Alice Miller's guidance on her website for finding the right therapist. Your situation is very complicated and painful, because as long as we remain dependent on those who were the cause of our painful plight, the latent rage of the child will not start to diminish, but actually accumulate. The words below by Alice Miller from her article “What’s Hatred?” are very true: “a person we are at the mercy of and either cannot free ourselves of, or at least believe that we cannot. As long as we are in such a state of dependency, or think we are, then hatred is the inevitable outcome. It is hardly conceivable that a person being tortured will not feel hatred for the torturer. If we deny ourselves this feeling, we will suffer from physical symptoms.”
http://www.alice-miller.com/en/what-is-hatred/
   
This is why MM is still stuck in his hatred for his mother because he is still emotionally dependent on his mother and also dependent on her money and using her to make money for himself. He is trying to make a name for himself by unconsciously, in a symbolic way, killing his mother with his book to free himself. Still, these are fantasies of a small child, and we never achieve true freedom by allowing the wounded child’s fantasies to dictate our present actions; they will keep us stuck and strengthen the walls of our emotional prison, leaving very little chance of ever escaping our childhood emotional prison.
So my suggestion is to find someone you can talk with freely about all your authentic feelings, who can help you clarify and consciously feel them in the context of your childhood, and who can help you focus on improving your physical health. Also, look for resources that might help you gain autonomy; however slow or small it might be, baby steps are better than not taking any steps at all. I wish you much luck, courage, and strength on your journey.

Sylvie

P.S. Feel free to write back and let me know what kind of feelings my words above triggered in you.
Also, here is one of my blogs about the risks of primal therapy.
http://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-risks-of-primal-therapy.html
Here is another blog about primal therapy.
Read Alice's article at the bottom.
http://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2013/10/neve-put-your-life-in-someone-elses.html  

Friday, August 19, 2011

Gurus and Cult Leaders How They Function



How They Function

MANY PROBLEMS APPEAR in a new light when we look to childhood as a source of possible explanations. We are living in an age in which democracies are gaining the upper hand over dictatorships. At the same time, the cult-group phenomenon is an indication that there is a growth in the number of totalitarian systems to which people voluntarily submit themselves. People growing up in a spirit of liberty and tolerance, accepted in childhood for what they are, rather than being throttled and stunted by their upbringing, would hardly place themselves at the mercy of a cult group of their own accord. And if by chance or skillful manipulation, they did fall afoul of such an organization, they certainly would not stay there very long.

But many people joining such groups seem completely indifferent to the fact that their new surroundings are powered by mechanisms expressly designed to subjugate them, to rob them of the freedom to think, to act, and feel as they see fit. They seem completely impervious to the fact that such groups set out to impose an Orwellian form of surveillance and demand for mindless obedience from which the prospects of escaping are more or less nil. Years of brainwashing and indoctrination ensure that the victims are kept unaware of the insidious harm being done to their personalities. They have no notion of the price they have paid for their malleability because they have no notion that there is an alternative.

The thing that concerns me most about cult groups is the unconscious manipulations that I have described in detail in my work. It is the way in which the repressed and unreflected childhood biographies of parents and therapists influence the lives of children and patients entrusted to their care, without anyone involved actually realizing it. At first glance, it may seem as if what goes on in cults and cult-like therapy groups takes place on a different level from the unconscious manipulation of children by their parents. We assume that in the former instance, we are in the presence of an intentional, carefully planned, and organized form of manipulation aimed at exploiting the specific predicament of individuals.

In my view, however, this allegedly conscious exploitation can also be traced back to unconscious motives. Terrible as the consequences were, I do not believe, for example, that the two initiators of “feeling therapy,” discussed earlier, actually set out to establish a totalitarian regime. It was the power they gained over their adherents that made them into gurus. And this is what I have in mind when I refer to the unconscious aspects of manipulation. In the end, they themselves become the victims of a process with an inexorable logic of its own, a process they were unaware of because they had never given it any thought.

Thus, they sparked off a conflagration they were unable to control, much less extinguish. First, they had learned how to reduce people to the emotional state of the helpless child. Once they had achieved that, they also learned how to use unconscious regression to exercise total control over their victims.  From then on, what they did seemed to come automatically, in accordance with the child-rearing patterns instilled into them in their own childhood.

Mithers’s report on the misleading blandishments that arouse false hopes and illusions also helps us to understand how political leaders operate. For the last fifty years, a debate has been raging on whether Hitler actually believed what he was saying or whether he consciously manipulated others. Was he a man obsessed with his self-appointed mission or a consummate actor, a Pied Piper luring millions to their doom? Some biographers have changed their minds on this point, tending more and more to the view that Hitler was indeed a fanatic believer in his own crazed doctrines. The question is a complex one, but one eminently worth following up because, as we see from the cult groups, it has lost none of its burning relevance for today.

If people stand up and proclaim they are prophets or agents of God, does that mean they are calculating charlatans, or are they lunatics genuinely believing they are in direct contact with Jesus? It is by no means easy to draw the line. In the case of “Feeling therapy,” it was clearly discernible how the craving for power engulfed any kind of realistic self-assessment on the part of the founders. They ended up believing they were as marvelous as their supporters thought them to be. They were asked to take part in 134 radio shows and 104 television programs. That was enough to convince them that they were epoch-making geniuses far superior to run-of-the-mill psychologists.

With cult leaders, it is very difficult to say where the conscious ends and the unconscious begins. Many gurus are driven by forces they are not aware of. If this were not the case, they would not feel constrained only by destructive means. With normal, conscious, systematic planning, it would not be necessary to proceed so elaborately. The gurus end up enmeshed in the webs they have woven. The examples are legion. A case in point, an extreme instance of pathological grandiosity, was the mass murder in Jonestown, Guyana, in the late seventies. Others followed suit. Common to all was the way in which mostly well-meaning but misguided and confused people sacrificed their own lives to salvage their belief in the sincerity of one obsessed individual---death as a means of preserving an illusion to the bitter end.

Many of the people who establish cult groups are paranoid, megalomaniac psychotics seeking protection from their own anxieties in the mass of their adherents by passing themselves off as helpers and healers. They proclaim that the end of the world is nigh and build subterranean bunkers in an attempt to escape their childhood feelings of helplessness and wage war on those feelings at the symbolic level. At the same time, they offer their services as saviors because that ensures them the adoration of their disciples and enables them, at last, to feel powerful instead of powerless. But as soon as they have grounds to fear exposure, they revert to threats and coercion to force their followers to keep silent. Suicide is an extreme form of self-imposed silence. It is also the course elected by those thirty-nine young people who took their own lives in a luxury villa in San Diego in 1997.

I do not believe that material greed alone is an adequate explanation for the system of fraud so elaborate as to inevitably involve unnecessary expenditure. The point is that it is not only the victims that lapse back into an infantile state, but it is also the people behind the system as well---be they little Hitlers or gurus. They bask in the admiration of their adherents, which they take to be proof of their exceptional status and thus completely lose touch with reality. If this were not the case, Hitler would never have prolonged the Russian campaign in defiance of the advice of his experienced generals. But he was completely besotted with himself, a helpless victim of his own delusions of grandeur. His unconscious regression made him lose all contact with reality and any level-headed assessment of the situation.

Hitler, too, believed that the adulation of the masses was irrefutable evidence of his own greatness. The fact that this adulation was born of his own lies was something he could easily forget. Thus he came to regard himself as a genius. Like Hitler, gurus use paternal or maternal promises of healing and salvation to achieve complete and utter devotion. Regression without awareness, the total relapse into earliest infancy, is the instrument they use to blind the masses and keep them in the state of boundless adulation. This kind of regression makes the criticism of parent figures like gurus and “charismatic” political leaders totally impossible. Equally inconceivable is self-criticism on the part of such leaders. It has no chance against the lust for power and the lure of self-aggrandizement.

Today, anyone who really wants to know how Hitler functioned needs to do no more than procuring any tape of documentary footage on Hitler and watch it attentively. Observe the gestures and the facial expression of the Führer, listen to the sound of his ranting, euphoric voice, and read the quotations from his speeches. Then the Hitler mystique will stop being such a mystique. It is an example that can sharpen our perceptions and help us identify other, similar phenomena quickly and accurately.

For political leaders in the Hitler mold, the jubilation of the masses is as indispensable to still their effective craving as a drug is for an addict. The millions of cheering supporters do not realize that they are needed for the purpose and that purpose alone. When Hitler painted his glowing vision of a thousand-year Reich free of revolutions, his listeners had no inkling whatever that their beloved---and allegedly loving---father was getting ready to send them off to their deaths in the war because his own personal biography willed it so.

Some people are convinced that so-called deprogramming is the best---indeed, the only---prospect of freeing cult group members from their dependency and their psychological blindness. I, for my part, am an incorrigible believer in the enlightening power of information. If it reaches people at the right moment, it can set off a process of reflection. Depending on the individual’s personal situation, that process of reflection will either be an ongoing process or it will peter out. The effects may also be delayed, deferred until later. The human mind is not a machine, an apparatus that can be repaired via an outside agency. It has its own individual history, and that history is the sole basis from which it can operate, the only source for thought and action. Sometimes an emotional shock will enable a person to wake up out of his regression and perceive reality as it is, even if that realization is a painful one.

Can therapy help in this respect? There is no general answer to that question. There is such a market for psychological aid today and so many different salvation-mongers peddling their wares alongside the serious representatives of the therapeutic community that there is little point in making vague, general recommendations. But one thing that can be said is that extreme caution is called for in the face of promises of “complete cure” via regression. Frequently, impressive-sounding theories are paraded, which, despite their scientific façade, have absolutely nothing to do with science. The ride roughshod over existing facts and make pronouncements that either is a pure fabrication or are derived from theories they are supposed to be substantiating.

Both Sigmund Freud, in his early years, and Arthur Janov were inspired by the hope that remembering and consciously re-experiencing a traumatic situation could bring about lasting relief from its consequences. This hope has not been entirely fulfilled. I know of cases where improvement has been achieved without recourse to the reactivation of memories, and others where the reenactment of the past and years of therapy has done nothing to alleviate the patient’s condition. Particularly if the therapeutic work restricts itself to a confrontation with the past. Energies briefly released by the suspension of repression are frequently drawn on by the patient to fuel new attempts at regaining the initial euphoria by means of activating more memories. This often leads to an addictive craving for pain and a reemergence of physical symptoms because the old patterns have not been properly worked through in a reliable, trustworthy relationship.

It is by no means unlikely that the attempts to use primal therapy to delve down into the earliest stages of life are bound to fail in those cases where very early traumatic experiences have caused severe, irreversible damage to the brain. Constant unavailing attempts to dissolve such long-standing distress will then overtax the organism to such an extent that no positive results can be obtained. At all events, the primal therapists who have been trained more recently have increasingly moved away from the initial absolutism. Many of them combine primal therapy techniques with other methods. The techniques developed over twenty years ago are used less often today; many therapists have jettisoned both the “intensive phase” and the darkened room. Most of them have discovered that they have no need for such things in order to enable their patients to get in touch with their feelings.

Karl Kraus once said that psychoanalysis is the illness it claims to be curing. This criticism was accurate as long as psychoanalysis barricaded itself behind rigid theories. Today, however, there appears to be a greater readiness to turn new research findings from other fields to account, notably the results from infant research and the study of the fetus. There also appears to be an increasing tendency to confront the actual facts of child abuse in all its forms.

Perhaps we may look forward to a time when primal therapy will also become more receptive than it has been in the past. The positive aspect of this approach might be salvaged once its advocates are prepared to acknowledge the negative effects it can have, its limitations, and the serious dangers it may involve when used as a means of manipulation. Then old concepts could be revised in the light of new insights. But adhering uncritically to the alleged infallibility of the once established methods and blaming the patients when things go wrong will relegate the whole approach into the same category as cult leaders’ empty promises of salvation. As Helga’s story shows, such promises only produce self-destructive dependencies militating against any genuine liberation of individual patients from their suffering.

Occasionally, it takes years of therapy to free people from their inner compulsions, constraints, and obsessions. But fortunately not always. Sometimes, a brief therapy will suffice to open up new perspectives and help patients to extricate themselves from the impasses they find themselves in. Here, additional group therapy has an important ancillary role to play. At regular intervals, news reaches me of such combined programs in various parts of the world, and some of them can indeed point to a very gratifying degree of success.      

From the book “Paths of Life: Seven Scenarios” by Alice Miller   




Friday, April 4, 2025

Kamala Harris: I'm not here to say I told you so


She should have been our President. A much better choice than DT, that's for sure!
Many people are blinded by the unresolved hatred of the child they once were; they are driven by the dead hand of their own repression to vote against themselves.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2013/03/driven-by-dead-hand-of-their-own_27.html


Why didn't America do the same with the felon DT?!

The Internet Allows Everybody to Show Themselves -- Their Emotional Insights as Well as Their Emotional Blindness

The people who proclaim to be the smartest are usually the dumbest! As we witness with DT. 

The hatred goes deep. This is why DT won because he provided his followers the scapegoats they desperately needed to temporarily and superficially alleviate their unresolved, repressed hatred. The "illegal immigrants" make the perfect scapegoats for many dangerously repressed Americans. 

People's hatred is justified, but has to be understood and consciously felt within the context of their childhood. Repressed hatred cannot ever be resolved by scapegoating. 

"Alongside reactive hatred of the parents and latent hatred deflected onto scapegoats, there is also the justified hatred for a person tormenting us in the present, either physically or mentally, a person we are at the mercy of and either cannot free ourselves of, or at least believe that we cannot. As long as we are in such a state of dependency, or think we are, then hatred is the inevitable outcome." Alice Miller

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2021/10/what-is-hatred.html?m=1

These words Alice Miller wrote to me come truer every day: “Thank you for your thoughtful letter I agree with you that there is a difference between the powerless, legitimate rage of a desperate child that reacts to the cruelty of their parents and the rage of the adult who is attacking others out of denial of their history by imitating the behavior of own parents from the position of "power" (even grandiosity). The first rage (of the child) should be felt and expressed in therapy; it can then be RESOLVED. The second one (of the adult), directed toward scapegoats, can NEVER be resolved (see dictators). If therapists see it as an end point of their therapies and don’t enable the patients to confront the early parents and the feelings of that time, they do much HARM to them. Staying trapped in the hatred toward scapegoats can't be the successful end of a therapy. I hope that you can continue your work if you have this difference in mind, and can also explain it in your forum."

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=scapegoating+

I wish America had also understood the assignment when electing the President. Congratulations, Wisconsin! You made the right choice. 


Recent data indicates a shift where young men in America are becoming more religious than their female peers, with some evidence suggesting they are more likely to identify as religious and attend church services. [This explains why many young men voted for DT!]

A pastor at Hope Church in Texas said that the young men attending their church "are looking for leadership, they're looking for clarity, they're looking for meaning". [Looking for leadership, clarity, and meaning in the wrong places. 
Many men may be physically stronger, but mentally appear to be the weaker sex. 
Otherwise, they would not be looking for crutches like religion.] 

"...many people joining such groups seem completely indifferent to the fact that their new surroundings are powered by mechanisms expressly designed to subjugate them, to rob them of the freedom to think, to act, and feel as they see fit. They seem completely impervious to the fact that such groups set out to impose an Orwellian form of surveillance and demand for mindless obedience from which the prospects of escaping are more or less nil. Years of brainwashing and indoctrination ensure that the victims are kept unaware of the insidious harm being done to their personalities. They have no notion of the price they have paid for their malleability because they have no notion that there is an alternative.
The thing that concerns me most about cult groups is the unconscious manipulations that I have described in detail in my work. It is the way in which the repressed and unreflected childhood biographies of parents and therapists influence the lives of children and patients entrusted to their care, without anyone involved actually realizing it. At first glance, it may seem as if what goes on in cults and cult-like therapy groups takes place on a different level from the unconscious manipulation of children by their parents. We assume that in the former instance, we are in the presence of an intentional, carefully planned, and organized form of manipulation aimed at exploiting the specific predicament of individuals.
In my view, however, this allegedly conscious exploitation can also be traced back to unconscious motives. Terrible as the consequences were, I do not believe, for example, that the two initiators of “feeling therapy,” discussed earlier, actually set out to establish a totalitarian regime. It was the power they gained over their adherents that made them into gurus. And this is what I have in mind when I refer to the unconscious aspects of manipulation. In the end, they themselves become the victims of a process with an inexorable logic of its own, a process they were unaware of because they had never given it any thought.
Thus, they sparked off a conflagration they were unable to control, much less extinguish. First, they had learned how to reduce people to the emotional state of the helpless child. Once they had achieved that, they also learned how to use unconscious regression to exercise total control over their victims.  From then on, what they did seemed to come automatically, in accordance with the child-rearing patterns instilled into them in their own childhood.
Mithers’s report on the misleading blandishments that arouse false hopes and illusions also helps us to understand how political leaders operate. For the last fifty years, a debate has been raging on whether Hitler actually believed what he was saying or whether he consciously manipulated others. Was he a man obsessed with his self-appointed mission or a consummate actor, a Pied Piper luring millions to their doom? Some biographers have changed their minds on this point, tending more and more to the view that Hitler was indeed a fanatic believer in his own crazed doctrines. The question is a complex one, but one eminently worth following up because, as we see from the cult groups, it has lost none of its burning relevance for today.
If people stand up and proclaim they are prophets or agents of God, does that mean they are calculating charlatans, or are they lunatics genuinely believing they are in direct contact with Jesus? It is by no means easy to draw the line. In the case of “Feeling therapy,” it was clearly discernible how the craving for power engulfed any kind of realistic self-assessment on the part of the founders. They ended up believing they were as marvelous as their supporters thought them to be. They were asked to take part in 134 radio shows and 104 television programs. That was enough to convince them that they were epoch-making geniuses far superior to run-of-the-mill psychologists.
With cult leaders, it is very difficult to say where the conscious ends and the unconscious begins. Many gurus are driven by forces they are not aware of. If this were not the case, they would not feel constrained only by destructive means. With normal, conscious, systematic planning, it would not be necessary to proceed so elaborately. The gurus end up enmeshed in the webs they have woven. The examples are legion. A case in point, an extreme instance of pathological grandiosity, was the mass murder in Jonestown, Guyana, in the late seventies. Others followed suit. Common to all was the way in which mostly well-meaning but misguided and confused people sacrificed their own lives to salvage their belief in the sincerity of one obsessed individual---death as a means of preserving an illusion to the bitter end.
Many of the people who establish cult groups are paranoid, megalomaniac psychotics seeking protection from their own anxieties in the mass of their adherents by passing themselves off as helpers and healers. They proclaim that the end of the world is night and build subterranean bunkers in an attempt to escape their childhood feelings of helplessness and wage war on those feelings at the symbolic level. At the same time, they offer their services as saviors because that ensures them the adoration of their disciples and enables them, at last, to feel powerful instead of powerless. But as soon as they have grounds to fear exposure, they revert to threats and coercion to force their followers to keep silent. Suicide is an extreme form of self-imposed silence. It is also the course elected by those thirty-nine young people who took their own lives in a luxury villa in San Diego in 1997.
I do not believe that material greed alone is an adequate explanation for the system of fraud so elaborate as to inevitably involve unnecessary expenditure. The point is that it is not only the victims that lapse back into an infantile state, but it is also the people behind the system as well---be they little Hitlers or gurus. They bask in the admiration of their adherents, which they take to be proof of their exceptional status and thus completely lose touch with reality. If this were not the case, Hitler would never have prolonged the Russian campaign in defiance of the advice of his experienced generals. But he was completely besotted with himself, a helpless victim of his own delusions of grandeur. His unconscious regression made him lose all contact with reality and any level-headed assessment of the situation.
Hitler, too, believed that the adulation of the masses was irrefutable evidence of his own greatness. The fact that this adulation was born of his own lies was something he could easily forget. Thus, he came to regard himself as a genius. Like Hitler, gurus use paternal or maternal promises of healing and salvation to achieve complete and utter devotion. Regression without awareness, the total relapse into earliest infancy, is the instrument they use to blind the masses and keep them in the state of boundless adulation. This kind of regression makes the criticism of parent figures like gurus and “charismatic” political leaders totally impossible. Equally inconceivable is self-criticism on the part of such leaders. It has no chance against the lust for power and the lure of self-aggrandizement.
Today, anyone who really wants to know how Hitler functioned needs to no more than procuring any tape of documentary footage on Hitler and watch it attentively. Observe the gestures and the facial expression of the Fuhrer, listen to the sound of his ranting, euphoric voice, and read the quotations from his speeches. Then the Hitler mystique will stop being such a mystique. It is an example that can sharpen our perceptions and help us identify other, similar phenomena quickly and accurately.
For political leaders in the Hitler mold, the jubilation of the masses is as indispensable to still their effective craving as a drug is for an addict. The millions of cheering supporters do not realize that they are needed for the purpose and that purpose alone. When Hitler painted his glowing vision of a thousand-year Reich free of revolutions, his listeners had no inkling whatever that their beloved---and allegedly loving---father was getting ready to send them off to their deaths in the war because his own personal biography willed it so.
Some people are convinced that so-called deprogramming is the best---indeed, the only---prospect of freeing cult group members from their dependency and their psychological blindness. I, for my part, am an incorrigible believer in the enlightening power of information. If it reaches people at the right moment, it can set off a process of reflection. Depending on the individual’s personal situation, that process of reflection will either be an ongoing process or it will peter out. The effects may also be delayed, deferred until later. The human mind is not a machine, an apparatus that can be repaired via an outside agency. It has its own individual history, and that history is the sole basis from which it can operate, the only source for thought and action. Sometimes an emotional shock will enable a person to wake up out of his regression and perceive reality as it is, even if that realization is a painful one.
Can therapy help in this respect? There is no general answer to that question. There is such a market for psychological aid today and so many different salvation-mongers peddling their wares alongside the serious representatives of the therapeutic community that there is little point in making vague, general recommendations. But one thing that can be said is that extreme caution is called for in the face of promises of “complete cure” via regression. Frequently, impressive-sounding theories are paraded, which, despite their scientific façade, have absolutely nothing to do with science. The ride roughshod over existing facts and make pronouncements that either is a pure fabrication or are derived from theories they are supposed to be substantiating.
Both Sigmund Freud, in his early years, and Arthur Janov were inspired by the hope that remembering and consciously re-experiencing a traumatic situation could bring about lasting relief from its consequences. This hope has not been entirely fulfilled. I know of cases where improvement has been achieved without recourse to the reactivation of memories, and others where the reenactment of the past and years of therapy has done nothing to alleviate the patient’s condition. Particularly if the therapeutic work restricts itself to a confrontation with the past. Energies briefly released by the suspension of repression are frequently drawn on by the patient to fuel new attempts at regaining the initial euphoria by means of activating more memories. This often leads to an addictive craving for pain and a reemergence of physical symptoms because the old patterns have not been properly worked through in a reliable, trustworthy relationship.
It is by no means unlikely that the attempts to use primal therapy to delve down into the earliest stages of life are bound to fail in those cases where very early traumatic experiences have caused severe irreversible damage to the brain. Constant unavailing attempts to dissolve such long-standing distress will then overtax the organism to such an extent that no positive results can be obtained. At all events, the primal therapists who have been trained more recently have increasingly moved away from the initial absolutism. Many of them combine primal therapy techniques with other methods. The techniques developed over twenty years ago are used less often today; many therapists have jettisoned both the “intensive phase” and the darkened room. Most of them have discovered that they have no need for such things in order to enable their patients to get in touch with their feelings.
Karl Kraus once said that psychoanalysis is the illness it claims to be curing. This criticism was accurate as long as psychoanalysis barricaded itself behind rigid theories. Today, however, there appears to be a greater readiness to turn new research findings from other fields to account, notably the results from infant research and the study of the fetus. There also appears to be an increasing tendency to confront the actual facts of child abuse in all its forms.
Perhaps we may look forward to a time when primal therapy will also become more receptive than it has been in the past. The positive aspect of this approach might be salvaged once its advocates are prepared to acknowledge the negative effects it can have, its limitations, and the serious dangers it may involve when used as a means of manipulation. Then old concepts could be revised in the light of new insights. But adhering uncritically to the alleged infallibility of the once established methods and blaming the patients when things go wrong will relegate the whole approach into the same category as cult leaders’ empty promises of salvation. As Helga’s story shows, such promises only produce self-destructive dependencies militating against any genuine liberation of individual patients from their suffering.
Occasionally, it takes years of therapy to free people from their inner compulsions, constraints, and obsessions. But fortunately, not always. Sometimes, a brief therapy will suffice to open up new perspectives and help patients to extricate themselves from the impasses they find themselves in. Here, additional group therapy has an important ancillary role to play. At regular intervals, news reaches me of such combined programs in various parts of the world, and some of them can indeed point to a very gratifying degree of success."      
From the book “Paths of Life: Seven Scenarios” by Alice Miller   








Monday, October 14, 2013

Never put your life in someone else's hands

Never put your life in someone else’s hands; it can be very dangerous. As children, we had no choice; our lives were in our parents' and caregivers' hands, but now we are adults. We must be in charge of our own lives. If we still have an inner wounded child inside of us, the adult in us has to be the one paying attention and listening to our wounded child. If we need help understanding our feelings, we should seek an enlightened and sympathetic witness to help us comprehend and experience them within the context of our own childhood.

NEVER, allow people symbolizing your parents take charge of your life and make decisions for you or make another adult your substitute parent and let her/him regress you to the wounded child you once were because that is putting you in a position of being controlled and manipulated by another person, just like when you were a little child and can be very dangerous to your mental and physical health and well-being. 

An example is the followers of the Secret by James Arthur Ray, who symbolized their parents/caretakers. The followers, “the good children,” followed his directions without question, and two of them paid the price with their lives for this mistake. Read more about this sad, tragic story here

Another example is Tony Robbins with his TV program “Breakthrough.” he, like many gurus out there, is taking advantage of and exploiting emotionally blind people and putting people’s well-being in danger. A few years ago, I was going through the TV channels, and Tony Robbins’s show “Breakthrough” was on. He had this emotionally blind woman sleeping outside with the homeless, so she would have the experience of having nothing. In this way, she was supposed to get over her depression and be grateful for the things she has. How sad that this grown person puts her life in this guru’s hands and allows him to regress her to the helpless, lost child she once was and exploit her just like her parents did when she was a little defenseless child. 

I am amazed at the number of smart and intelligent people who fall for the seductive words of charismatic individuals like Tony Robbins. Just like Alice Miller says in her book “For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-rearing and the Roots of Violence.” “… We have seen how easy it is for intellectuals in a dictatorship to be corrupted; it would be a vestige of aristocratic snobbery to think that only “the uneducated masses” are susceptible to propaganda. Both Hitler and Stalin had a surprisingly large number of enthusiastic followers among intellectuals. Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self. Indeed, intelligence is capable of innumerable rationalizations when it comes to the matter of adaptation.” 

One more example is religion; religion/god symbolizes the all-powerful parent, and the followers are permanently trapped in the role of the child.  Our goal is to free ourselves from all illusions, become autonomous adults, and stand on our own two feet without crutches.

Also in her book Paths of Life, Alice Miller says: "MANY PROBLEMS APPEAR in a new light when we look to childhood as a source of possible explanations. We are living in an age in which democracies are gaining the upper hand over dictatorships. At the same time, the cult-group phenomenon is an indication that there is a growth in the number of totalitarian systems to which people voluntarily submit themselves. People growing up in a spirit of liberty and tolerance, accepted in childhood for what they are, rather than being throttled and stunted by their upbringing, would hardly place themselves at the mercy of a cult group of their own accord. And if by chance or skillful manipulation, they did fall afoul of such an organization, they certainly would not stay there very long. 

...In my view, however, this allegedly conscious exploitation can also be traced back to unconscious motives. Terrible as the consequences were, I do not believe, for example, that the two initiators of “feeling therapy,” discussed earlier, actually set out to establish a totalitarian regime. It was the power they gained over their adherents that made them into gurus. And this is what I have in mind when I refer to the unconscious aspects of manipulation. In the end, they themselves become the victims of a process with an inexorable logic of its own, a process they were unaware of because they had never given it any thought.
Thus, they sparked off a conflagration they were unable to control, much less extinguish. First, they had learned how to reduce people to the emotional state of the helpless child. Once they had achieved that, they also learned how to use unconscious regression to exercise total control over their victims.  From then on, what they did seemed to come automatically, in accordance with the child-rearing patterns instilled into them in their own childhood."
Read more here
Also in the article below, Alice Miller articulates very well the dangers of rebirth therapy.

CONCERNING PRIMAL SELF-THERAPY
 
I am frequently asked what I consider to be the decisive factor in psychotherapy today.  Is it the recognition of the truth, liberation from the enforced vow of silence and from idealization of one's parents, or is it the presence of an Enlightened Witness?  My view is that it is not a question of either-or but of both-and.  Without the Enlightened Witness, it is impossible to bear the truth of what happened to us in early infancy.  But by the term Enlightened Witness I do not mean anyone who has studied psychology or has been through primal experiences with a guru and has remained in his thrall.  For me, Enlightened Witnesses are therapists with the courage to face up to their own histories and to gain their autonomy in doing so, rather than seeking to offset their own repressed feelings of ineffectuality by exerting power over their patients.
 
The adult needs assistance in coping with the present situations as an adult, while at the same time maintaining contact with the suffering and knowing child he once was, the child he could not muster the courage to listen to for so long, but now, with help, can finally pay heed to.  The body knows everything that has happened to it, but it has no language to express that knowledge.  It is like the child we once were, the child that sees all but without the aid of the adults, remains helpless and alone.  Accordingly, whenever the emotions from the past rise to the surface, they are invariably accompanied by the fears of the helpless child, dependent on the understanding or at least the reassurances of the caregivers.
 
Unlike the body, our cognitive system knows little of the events far back in the past; conscious memories are fragmentary, brittle, unreliable.  But the cognitive system has a huge fund of knowledge at its disposal, a fully developed mind, and the life experience that a child cannot yet have.  As adults are no longer powerless, they can offer the child within them (the body) protection and an attentive ear so that it can express itself in its own way and tell its own story.  It is in the light of these stories that the looming, incomprehensible fears and emotions of the adult take on meaning.  Finally, they stand in a recognizable context and are no longer so obscurely menacing.
 
In a society with a receptive attitude to the distress of children, no one will be alone with his/her history.  The same is true of therapists.  Because then everyone will know that it is not the children who are responsible for their sufferings, but the adults.
 
I recently wrote a letter in French to the forum that I am quoting in English below:
 
Dear Franck, I understand well your fascination with the manual of Stettbacher.  When I read this manuscript in 1989, I thought that it contained the solution for a lot of readers who, after having read my books, were looking, like you, for the sources of their sufferings and fears in the history of their childhood.  As I had never had the luck to be understood and helped in my childhood nor in my therapies (it was always me who had to help others), I found the idea of a primal self-therapy at first quite normal and acceptable.  It was after some years that I grasped the great importance and even necessity of an enlightened and empathic therapist in the process of recovery.  Especially thanks to letters of people that failed to help themselves and who blamed themselves for their plight ( trying to do more and more therapy and turning around alone with their fears and pains) that I understood that the primal self - therapy can indeed trigger easily the old pent-up emotions but can reactivate the situation of the child that was always alone with his/her pains and fears.  This repetition of the old trauma is the opposite of a therapy.
 
Today, I share the opinion of Arthur Janov, who always affirmed that primal therapy without the assistance of a well-informed and compassionate therapist can be very dangerous.  (cf. his homepage.  In addition, I think that it contains (1) a contradiction in itself by reactivating a situation of which one wants to get rid of and (2) a perpetuation of the violence directed toward oneself.
 
I haven't had any contact with Mister Stettbacher since 1994, when I stopped recommending his method, but I suppose that the information on its negative effects reached him too and that it already motivated him to stop recommending it.  Since the release of his book, there is a lot of new information on this topic available that is easily accessible thanks to the internet.  Maybe the next book by Stettbacher will bring the necessary corrections to his present work, published 12 years ago.
 
Alice Miller

Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Being Truthful and Authentic Will NOT Get You Many Fans

Being truthful and authentic will not get you many fans. I speak from experience, and I can testify to that.

Yes, when our goal is to control and manipulate others perceptions we lose what is important and what really matters in life. 

"The period of influence consists in leading someone, without argument, to think, make decisions, and behave other than he would spontaneously on his own. During the "seductive stalking" period, the targeted is unable to freely consent a priori because his sensibilities and vulnerabilities are influenced and manipulated.  As in any manipulative process, the victim must first be made to believe he is free, even when he is insidiously deprived of the freedom to act. There can be no question of a discussion between equals; the abuser must subtly impose himself while preventing the other from becoming aware of the process and from discussing or resisting it. The victim's ability to defend himself is withdrawn, and his judgment is negated, thereby eliminating any possibility of rebellion. We find here the types of situations in which one individual exerts undue and abusive influence over another without his knowledge. In daily life, we are constantly being manipulated, destabilized, and muddled, and every time it happens we are furious at the perpetrator but even more ashamed of ourselves." 
Except from the book Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and Erosion of Identity by Marie-France Herigoyen, page 90.

“…I really want to reinforce the idea that so-called therapists and gurus only substitute one dangerous illusion for another. As Alice Miller writes, “What can happen when a doctor doesn’t stop at self-deception in his flight from pain, but deceives his patients, even founding dogmatic institutions in which further ‘helpers’ are recruited to a faith advertised as scientific truth,’ can be catastrophic.”64 

The key to effective therapy is learning how to use your present triggers productively. They can help us clarify, understand and consciously feel our intense emotions within the context of our own childhoods without losing our adult consciousness. 

A good therapist can help us regain our adult consciousness if we lose it and encourage our autonomy, so we can deal with present issues from an adult perspective. 

But when a therapist regresses us to the state of the desperate child we once were and keeps us feeling old pain over and over again, that just reinforces our dependency, keeps us vulnerable to all kinds of manipulations, and makes our addiction to pain harder to shake.

Why do people keep punishing themselves? As Alice Miller writes, “… the awareness was borne in upon me that in a state of regression, it is not possible to judge the competence and integrity of the person one has turned to for such guidance. 

This opens up all kinds of opportunities for abuse. The intensive phase with which primal therapy begins is an immediate obstacle to the formation of a balanced, critical, independent assessment of the therapist’s abilities by the client. 

The fact that the attendant uncritical and irrational expectations of healing and ‘salvation’ can lead to the establishment of totalitarian sects is borne out by the crass example of mass abuse at the hands of the exponents of ‘feeling therapy’ as described in detail by Carol Lynn Mithers in her book Therapy Gone Mad: The True Story of Hundreds of Patients and a Generation Betrayed (1994). But this study was possible only after the community she describes had disbanded, something that frequently takes decades. 

Today we know that such groups exist and that members of sects are done irremediable harm before they become aware of the fact.”65 

In another book, she goes on to say, “The thing that concerns me most about cult groups is the unconscious manipulations that I have described in detail in my work. It is the way in which the repressed and unreflected childhood biographies of parents and therapists influence the lives of children and patients entrusted to their care without anyone involved actually realizing it. 

At first glance, it may seem as if what goes on in cults and cultlike therapy groups takes place on a different level from the unconscious manipulation of children by their parents. We assume that in the former instance, we are in the presence of an intentional, carefully planned, and organized form of manipulation aimed at exploiting the specific predicament of individuals. … First, they had learned how to reduce people to the emotional state of the helpless child. Once they had achieved that, they also learned how to use unconscious regression to exercise total control over their victims. 

From then on, what they did seemed to come automatically, in accordance with the childrearing patterns instilled into them in their own childhood.”66 

Most people who search for answers never actually find them, because people suffering with their own repression are the ones who practice traditional therapies. Since the beginning of human history, priests, teachers, gurus, psychics, doctors, philosophers, and psychologists have all duped people into thinking they could provide real assistance, when it was never possible because the healers were also victims of their own childhoods.” 

From the book:  A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions, pages 129, 130 and 131


Thursday, September 4, 2014

The Danger of Gurus and Cults


N. Sylvie - I read your experience with PU [People Unlimited] and I'd like to talk to you.  I have a few relatives involved and I have many questions.  I personally have not attended and do not plan to get involved.  I am worried for my granddaughter.  Would you be willing to contact me? N

Sylvie Imelda Shene: Hi N, I just saw your message. Feel free to ask me any questions you might have and if I can I will be happy to answer. I am sorry you have relatives that have fell victims of the illusion of PU.

You also might like reading the article in the link below:


N. Hi Sylvie - I really don't know what to ask - I just don't understand why anyone would continuously attend a group meeting where the focus is "you are never going to die". Maybe I am wrong, but what is the attraction for the people who are so hooked at these meetings?

Sylvie Imelda Shene: Hi N, the meetings are very electrifying and addictive just like a drug and for people to keep feeling high, they need to keep going to the meetings, just like a person addictive to drugs needs to keep taking a drug to feel good. Gurus and cult leaders are masters at regressing people to the state of the child so they can have total control over them. You might like reading my book that I just published. Below is a little excerpt where I talk about these psychological mechanisms.

Good luck,

Sylvie

“…I really want to reinforce the idea that so-called therapists and gurus only substitute one dangerous illusion for another. As Alice Miller writes, “What can happen when a doctor doesn’t stop at self-deception in his flight from pain, but deceives his patients, even founding dogmatic institutions in which further ‘helpers’ are recruited to a faith advertised as scientific truth,’ can be catastrophic.”64 The key to effective therapy is learning how to use your present triggers productively. They can help us clarify, understand and consciously feel our intense emotions within the context of our own childhoods without losing our adult consciousness. A good therapist can help us regain our adult consciousness if we lose it and encourage our autonomy, so we can deal with present issues from an adult perspective. But when a therapist regresses us to the state of the desperate child we once were and keeps us feeling old pain over and over again, that just reinforces our dependency, keeps us vulnerable to all kinds of manipulations and makes our addiction to pain harder to shake. Why do people keep punishing themselves? As Alice Miller writes, “… the awareness was borne in upon me that in a state of regression it is not possible to judge the competence and integrity of the person one has turned to for such guidance. This opens up all kinds of opportunities for abuse. The intensive phase with which primal therapy begins is an immediate obstacle to the formation of a balanced, critical, independent assessment of the therapist’s abilities by the client. The fact that the attendant uncritical and irrational expectations of healing and ‘salvation’ can lead to the establishment of totalitarian sects is borne out by the crass example of mass abuse at the hands of the exponents of ‘feeling therapy’ as described in detail by Carol Lynn Mithers in her book Therapy Gone Mad: The True Story of Hundreds of Patients and a Generation Betrayed (1994). But this study was possible only after the community she describes had disbanded, something that frequently takes decades. Today we know that such groups exist and that members of sects are done irremediable harm before they become aware of the fact.”65 In another book, she goes on to say, “The thing that concerns me most about cult groups is the unconscious manipulations that I have described in detail in my work. It is the way in which the repressed and unreflected childhood biographies of parents and therapists influence the lives of children and patients entrusted to their care without anyone involved actually realizing it. At first glance, it may seem as if what goes on in cults and cultlike therapy groups takes place on a different level from the unconscious manipulation of children by their parents. We assume that in the former instance we are in the presence of an intentional, carefully planned and organized form of manipulation aimed at exploiting the specific predicament of individuals. … First, they had learned how to reduce people to the emotional state of the helpless child. Once they had achieved that, they also learned how to use unconscious regression to exercise total control over their victims. From then on, what they did seemed to come automatically, in accordance with the childrearing patterns instilled into them in their own childhood.”66 Most people who search for answers never actually find them, because people suffering with their own repression are the ones who practice traditional therapies. Since the beginning of human history, priests, teachers, gurus, psychics, doctors, philosophers and psychologists have all duped people into thinking they could provide real assistance, when it was never possible because the healers were also victims of their own childhoods.” From the book:  A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions, page 129, 130 and 131

Original blog about my experience with People Unlimited