This blog is about learning to understand all of our feelings and learning to consciously face, feel and experience all of our feelings within the context of our own childhood.
Everything we become and happens to us is connected to childhood. Not every victim becomes an abuser, but every abuser was once a victim of abuse, these are facts, Violence is not genetic, it’s learned.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2014/08/a-dance-to-freedom-book-reviews.html
"Is blood thicker than water? Should family always come first?
These clichés about the importance of family abound, despite the recognition that familial relations are oftentimes hard, if not downright dysfunctional.
But over the past few years, a discussion has emerged about a somewhat taboo move: cutting ties altogether with family members deemed “toxic.”
Called going “no contact,” this form of estrangement usually involves adult children cutting ties with their parents. It might happen after years of abuse or when a parent disapproves of a child who has come out as LGBTQ+. Or it might be spurred by political or religious differences. Even Vice President Kamala Harris has been mostly estranged from her father since her parents’ divorce.
Those in favor say people should disentangle from unhealthy relationships without shame, and that family should be held to the same standards as friends and romantic partners."
Interesting article click on the link below to read more:
"Taylor Swift makes this big confession about Sean Diddy Combs; this is what she has to say about the rapper
Taylor gave the following explanation for her choice of the rapper, Diddy has really always been very nice to me. Rachael joked that Swift was going on a freaky prom date. He's a gentleman, Ray added, as quoted in a report by the Daily Star."
Here is a great example: just because someone is nice to you doesn't mean they are not abusers or dangerously repressed people. Dangerously repressed people target those they think are voiceless or below them or those they feel threatened by to use as scapegoats or poisonous containers Just like in my case, I became the target of a mob of malignant narcissists after I published my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions because the fundamental truths in my book triggered their fears of exposure so I became their number one enemy that they must destroy so they can go on with their false personas, lies, and illusions as usual.
Just a friendly reminder that abusers don't abuse/target everyone they come in contact with, so placing doubt on the people being targeted by the abuser based on your experience with that person is irresponsible and unkind. Thanks.
Someone who hates you normally hates you for one of three reasons. They either see you as a threat. They hate themselves. Or they want to be you.
Narcissist v. Sociopath
A Narcissist sees others as a means to validate his existence. The less validating you are, the less use you are to a Narcissist.
A Sociopath views others as entertainment. The less entertaining you are, the less use you are to a Sociopath.
Both the Narcissist and the Sociopath need to dominate and control others. They will both exploit you with no remorse and have no conscience. My advice? Do not validate the Narcissist and do not entertain the Sociopath. Stay clear of them. Once they suck you in, it is hard to get away. Avoid them both at all costs and if they manage to bring you into their den, run like hell. --Lisa E. Scott
The enemy wouldn't be attacking you if something very valuable wasn't inside of You. Thieves don't break into empty houses. YOU have a purpose!
Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. RUSSIAN PROVERB
Everybody isn't your friend. Just because they hang around you and laugh with you doesn't mean they are your friend. People pretend well. At the end of the day, real situations expose fake people, so pay attention.
"There's a reason narcissistic and psychopathic individuals withhold support, validation, healthy praise, and credit from those they feel threatened by but "gush" over people they perceive won't threaten their ego and will make obedient members of their harem. Make sure you validate and reparent yourself so you stay away from these types of harmful types of people and are repelled by their lack of authenticity. You never have to seek the approval of toxic people, especially those doing less than you." Shahida Arabi, MA.
It's all about control. They have the illusion that if they control everything and everyone around them, they will not have to face their fears of being alone to feel the repressed painful emotions of the child they once were.
But money alone, power, and control just buy them some time, eventually, something will trigger them, and it will erupt like a volcano, especially when they are old and fragile. Old age is the perfect trigger to bring to the surface all that they have been repressing throughout their lifetime.
Learning to let go and walking away from anyone who lacks the courage to face their fears of resolving childhood repression is the only way to be free and stay free.
How to sidestep narcissistic manipulation and gaslighting.
Narcissistic people use a range of covert and overt tactics to manipulate others.
As you read through the following list of eight devious tactics, you may wish to think of a narcissist in your life and identify if any of these tactics may have been used on you.
Projecting
Narcissists have a habit of accusing others of doing what, in fact, the narcissist is doing. For example:
Narcissists who frequently lie will accuse you of being untrustworthy.
Unreliable narcissists will claim that you are undependable and have let them down.
Rageful narcissists will say that you’re the one who needs anger management.
Narcissists tend to be unaware of such hypocrisies. They accuse in an instant, and then become convinced of their accusations. Projecting allows them to avoid responsibility for their dysfunctional behavior while putting others on the defensive.
Click on the link below to read all the 8 insidious ways narcissists try to control you
No, I would not swap places with them or anyone else for that matter! I'm very happy with the little I have accomplished all by myself. I'm free and that's all I ever wanted.
AI can create a digital copy of a person's voice, a process known as AI voice cloning:
How it works
AI voice cloning uses deep learning algorithms to analyze and imitate human speech. The process involves recording a person's voice, training a model on that data, and then using the model to generate synthetic speech.
Uses
AI voice cloning has many applications, including text-to-speech systems, virtual assistants, chatbots, entertainment, and assistive technology.
Customization
AI voices can be customized based on a person's gender, age, accent, and other emotional characteristics.
narcissist's grandiose fantasies being at odds with their reality
Toxic shame: A state of being where shame
becomes a core part of a person's identity
Shame-based lives: Many narcissists live
their lives in a state of shame, but they won't admit it
Shame can be a helpful emotion that helps people adhere to societal norms. However, when shame becomes toxic, it can lead to psychological issues.
Toxic shame can be created when a child is forced to adapt to a narcissistic parent's needs, and is not allowed to be their own person. This can lead to a child internalizing shame, which can become a baseline for how they function.
Some ways that shame can create a narcissist include:
It's easier to have a mask
It can be easier for someone to have a grandiose mask than to face their inner turmoil.
Looking down on others
Narcissists can look down on others so they don't have to imagine anything wrong with themselves.
"...when shame becomes a state of being that it becomes toxic.
The narcissistic parent will tactfully shame others so that they will put the narcissist first and obey the narcissist’s every demand to avoid more shame."
Narcissists base your character on the way you react to their abuse. If you fight back then you are abusive. If you do what they did to you, you are vindictive. If you show them the way they have been treating you, then you are petty and childish. The only reaction a Narcissist wants is blind acceptance. They could say and do whatever they want, and you have to let them without any opposition. If you don't react the way that they want, then you are the cause and the reason for the conflict.
Narcissists are like toddlers trapped in an adult body.
This is why they have so many tantrums and behave like children.
The narcissist has trained the entire family, by example, how to treat you. Once you have been labelled as the bad one, you are fair game for siblings, spouses, children, relatives, even family friends to pick on.
A narcissist will neglect their partners, friends and children in multiple ways but gladly help a coworker, neighbor, or stranger. Why? Because it's all about their image and getting praise from others. They save their abusive behavior for behind closed doors or when they are no witnesses.
Yes, it's the public that sucks. Until society involves we will just have two choices to choose from: pure evil and the lesser evil. So until then I will keep voting for the lesser evil.
Totally off topic! Has nothing to do with narcissism! Just enteristing to know from where these American's sayings come from!
It doesn't matter because it is what it is. But I added to my blog I'm NOT a Therapist that the people going around saying I was playing therapist. I never chased anyone, they were the ones chasing me and following me around that I could not have a minute to myself. I couldn't wait to come back to the United States so I could have time for myself again.
One was always dropping her 3-year-old son with me because she couldn't handle taking care of her own child.
Now I realize they were not following me around because they wanted to learn from me and grow as human beings but were just using me. And to collect data they could use one day as tools of manipulation and control to give them an advantage in the games people play.
I told them many times that I was allowing them to use me to distract themselves from themselves but one day I would not let them use me anymore. That day has arrived and now they are mad at me and doing everything to discredit me so they can pretend to be superior walking around wearing my skin to fool people but time always reveals who is real and who is fake pretending to be someone they are not.
I saved her 3-year-old son's psyche enough for now as an adult to make threats against me to suppress the truth, facts, and evidence from himself and others. His mother who abandoned him physically and emotionally when he was a defenseless little child is protected from his unresolved repressed hatred and is directing his hatred towards me instead. It's sad but it is what it is.
They say, "Misery loves Company" Well I say, "Narcissists love to bring happy people down." What BETTER type of power trip to a narcissist's ego than to take a naturally happy person and by their own "amazing abilities" turn them into a shell of their former selves while walking off "wearing their skin"? You know that they WANT to see you laying on the sidewalk, crying out in pain because you're "nothing" without them; just as they told you (or insinuated many times). ~ANA (After Narcissistic Abuse)
Narcissists use guilt to control you, especially when you finally take care of yourself or assert your needs. They make you feel guilty for putting yourself first, expecting their respect, or valuing yourself and even blame you for abandoning them. They have abandoned you emotionally, mentally, and physically for most of the relationship. They have treated you poorly throughout, and then, somehow find a way to blame you. Don't fall for it. This is just another gaslighting technique.
Narcissists feel empty on the inside and try to fill that emptiness with stuff. Psychologists say that narcissists like nice things for appearance's sake, but the need is deeper than that. People who have a robust sense of self should be less likely to be materialistic or hoarding.
Narcissists can feel empty by themselves:
Lack of self-awareness
Narcissists may not have a sense of self or self-awareness and may feel like they need constant mirroring from others.
Childhood exploitation
Narcissists may have been treated as an objects in childhood, which can lead to a disconnect from emotional authenticity.
Self-hatred
Research suggests that narcissists may not love themselves, but rather may be driven by self-hatred.
Here are some other things to know about narcissists:
Grandiose sense of self
Narcissists may believe they are unique or special, and may only want to associate with other high-status people.
Defenses
Narcissists may use defenses like repression, denial, distortion, rationalization, and lies to discharge painful feelings.
Narcissistic collapse
When a narcissist's image is threatened, they may become enraged and lash out impulsively. This is a way for them to re-establish control.
It breaks my heart when a person departs this world prematurely.
Another example that money alone, talent and fame doesn't save people from their emotional prisons.
A tragic end. If i had not become my own enlightened witness with the help of Alice Miller’s books and website and liberated the wounded little girl within me from the emotional prison of my childhood. I too could have a similar tragic end and i would not had passed my thirties. I feel so fortunate. When you are emotionally free life is worth living and you don't need a lot of money to enjoy it.
"An upbringing that succeeds in sparing the parents at the expense of the child's vitality sometimes leads to suicide or extreme drug addiction, which is a form of suicide. If drugs succeed in covering up the emptiness caused by repressed feelings and self-alienation, then the process of withdrawal brings this void back into view. When withdrawal is not accompanied by restoration of vitality, then the cure is sure to be temporary. Christiane F., subject of an international bestseller and film, paints a devastatingly vivid picture of a tragedy of this nature." Alice Miller
"It is a great mistake to imagine that one can resolve traumas in a symbolic fashion. If that were possible, poets, painters, and other artists would be able to resolve their pain through creativity. This is not the case, however. Creativity helps us channel the pain of trauma into symbolic acts; it doesn't help us resolve it. If symbolic revenge for maltreatment received in childhood were effective, then dictators would eventually stop humiliating and torturing their fellow human beings. As long as they choose to deceive themselves about who really deserves their hatred, however, and as long as they go on feeding that hatred in symbolic form instead of experiencing and resolving it within the context of their own childhood, their hunger for revenge will remain insatiable (see Miller 1990a).” read more here
