Monday, October 1, 2012

Open letter to Martin Miller

Dear Martin Miller,

I hope my letter finds you well. I wrote the letter below to you a long time ago, but I never send it to you, but it came to my attention that you reached out to B. R. and I am concerned, because I know this woman still a wolf in sheep's clothing and will exploit you, like she exploited your mother and the same way she was exploited as a little child in order to advance herself and not have to face and consciously experience the painful repressed emotions of the child she once was within the context of her own childhood.

Your mother’s books saved my life and I resolved my repression with the assistance of her books and website as you can see in my letter to you below.

The words B.R. wrote to her followers are not genuine, but a game strategy for her, playing the victim card to take credibility from your mother and advance herself.

Dear Martin Miller,

I hope my letter finds you well. I have wanted to write you for the longest time, but for some reason I felt shy, maybe because I don’t know you well, writing to your mother was easy, because I felt like I knew her and we both understood each other a 100%.

I read the interview you gave to Spiegel. First of all I am so sorry your mother was not, yet, strong enough when you were little to stand up to your father and protect you. It makes me sad that some people like Daniel Mackler, I don’t know if you have heard of him and others like him that try to make a name for themselves by stepping on your mother’s head and using her as their scapegoat or poisonous container. They took your words out of context and create a smoke screen to unconsciously or consciously confuse your mother’s readers and blocking her books from reaching more people like me, that their lives are hanging on the ballot to hear the whole truth from someone else, like I was all my life, they create this smoke screen so they don’t have to face and feel their own painful repressed emotions and fears of the child they once were within the context of their own childhood and also, that, they can bring attention to their books and get new members for their cults by using disconnected truths, some, taken from your mother’s books to hook people in, but in reality are filled with hidden morality, poisonous pedagogy, guilt inducing to manipulate and control the emotionally blind people in our society that unfortunately is the majority and use their followers like a drug to keep their fears and painful feelings at bay, but they cannot fool someone that have felt their fears and repressed emotions of the child they once were in the right context and therefore have removed the blinds and are able to see clear and cannot any longer be deceive by others wearing sheep clothes, but remain wolves inside, proclaiming their love for children and wanting to stop child abuse, taking the ultimate cause, but unconsciously they are contributing for the vicious circle of child abuse to continue by using disconnected half truths or very well-articulated seductive lies coated with bits of disconnected half truths, they have memorized like parrots to deceive themselves and others perpetuating theirs and their followers childhood drama where they play the role of the substitute parents and the followers playing the role of the child. These words your mother wrote in her book “For Your Own Good” could not be any truer: “Conditioning and manipulation of others are always weapons and instruments in the hands of those in power even if these weapons are disguised with the terms educationand therapeutic treatment. Since one's use and abuse of power over others usually have the function of holding one's own feelings of helplessness in check--which means the exercise of power is often unconsciously motivated--rational arguments can do nothing to impede this process.”

Nothing can one ever say take away from the pioneering, courageous and honest work your mother did. She was a true heroine. As Alice Miller shared in her article, “The Longest Journey” published in her website: “It has taken me all my life to allow myself to be what I am and to listen to what my inner self is telling me, more and more directly, without waiting for permission from others or currying approval from people symbolizing my parents.” It took her all of her life, but she did it and exposed the lies and hypocrisy of society. My experience has been the same as your mother’s. A reader of your mother’s wrote to her saying: “Books do not help to break open the prisons, it is true, but there are books that give us courage to rattle at the prison gates with new courage. Your book is such a one to me.” --- That is exactly how your mother’s books are to me. It has taken me, too, all my life, but thanks to your mother’s books as my enlightened witness I was able to gather a new and tougher courage to remove the invisible shackles and break free from the emotional prison I was born into.

Before your mother’s passing I had the privilege to ex-change many e-mails with her, which three of them she published on her website. You can read all the e-mails exchanged between me and your mother, if you like, on my website:



  1. It must be harder for him than for the rest of us since Alice Miller is his mother. But the rage is the same. I remember I read once in the reader's mail about the mother of today and the mother of the past Alice Miller said that she never met a mother that changed showed love and empathy and didn't ask her adult child forgiveness and love. I think she forgot to say that she did change as a mother even it took her a lifetime to do what she did.


    1. Mohamed,
      Thank you for your comment and for the link. I see you read French well and you can read the French side of Alice Miller’s website, I have not seen this letter in the English side, my French is not very good and I had to use Google translator to read this very poignant letter to Alice Miller. Reading your comment brought tears to my eyes, because I don’t usually come across people that can see and feel in this depth and I usually feel alone with my perceptions. You are a breath of fresh air. Yes, it must be hard for him too, because the repressed rage of the child he once was is the same for him and it must be hard for him, also, to put his anger within the context of his own childhood, like it is for most people. You are right Alice did change even if it took her all of her life and with her books shows us how we can resolve our own repression. It is sad that his own son has not been able to use his mother’s books to resolve his own repression, but most people that read her books, also only understand her books somewhat at the intellectual level and are not able feel and understand her books at the emotional level. Once a child is an adult even if the mother changes and acknowledges the harm done and apologizes to her adult child, the adult child still has to feel the repressed emotions of the child he once was to liberate himself so not let the repressed emotions of the child be destructive to him and others and for what I understand he is being destructive to himself and those around him. It’s very sad. This is why it’s so important for young people to read Alice Miller’s books before they become parents in order to prevent childhood trauma from taking place, because it’s so hard to resolve repression once a child becomes an adult, but it is possible if we find the courage to face and feel our repression.