Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Two Wounded Families Cladding Together

In the summer of 1973, while my sister Laura was planning her wedding, a man that was from a nearby village of my parents stopped by our house in Porto to ask permission to build a house in our land, next to my parents' house in the village, for him and his three children. The oldest girl was in her late teens or early twenties and the youngest girl was a few years younger than me and the boy was closer to my age. I remember very well being in my room and listen to my older sisters talking and Laura saying --- how would be good for our aging parents to have neighbors, he is a hardworking man Laura said, that has work very hard in Germany and now is coming back to Portugal, trying to be a father to his children. 

To my older sisters being a hard worker was the best quality a person could possess and eclipsed all bad character defects a person might have, no matter how bad and now they are paying the price for their emotional blindness. 

I remember very well thinking to myself: this is not a good idea, but I didn’t dare to express my opinion, because I knew I didn't have a voice in my family and I was a nobody to them -- I had heard enough times -- from Isabel that my opinion didn’t count, so why bother saying anything. 

But I was right! This family was more wounded than my family and two wounded families cladding together is like two trains traveling at high-speed cladding with each other, very destructive.  

Most summers when I would go visit my parents in the village I would whiteness this man bully my aging parents and he stealing and use more land than he had been giving permission to use and was sad for me to witness my mother and father suffer by the abuse of this man, once this man even poisoned my mother’s chickens! 

I especially was very sad when they removed a cherry tree my father had planted that gave the best white cherries I ever tasted. 

I witnessed my mother many times crying and yelling at this man that he was stealing our land and she saying to him: I never gave you permission to use this part of the land, but my sisters were too busy in the city with work and obsessing about me and following their cult leaders to notice what was happening to our aging parents and our land. You would think all the psychic people they were visiting for guidance in their lives; if they were true psychics would have warned them about the dangers of this very wounded family. 

While visiting my parents I became friends with this man’s two daughters, they had two more sisters, but they chose to stay with an aunt in a nearby village, they were still mad at their father. 

The oldest girl was playing the role of the “wife” and “mother” took care of all the house duties like cleaning and cooking, etc. while the brother and younger sister went to school. I once asked them what had happened to their mother and they told me, that their mother had run away to France from their father and that she went to the extreme to bleach her face and change her identity, so her father could not recognize her, because she was very afraid of their father finding her, of course, she was afraid of their father he was a bully. 

And now his son is a bully just like his father was and has become a high official in law enforcement. 

And from this position of power is trying to legalize and put in his name the land his father stole from my parents by falsifying documents and lying, like saying their house was built before 1951 because they build their house without a license and after 1951, no one could build without a permit. 

I was born in 1959 and I guaranty you their house was not built until I was a teenager, in the seventies, but because he is in power position is able to bribe people in the courts and get people in the village to lie for him, even the village priest! 

My older sister have been fighting their lies and falsified papers for at least 8 years, what should have been so easy to take care of, because the land was in my parents name and they never had any of the land in their names, they just had a house build in our land and that does not give them ownership of the land, they own the house, but not the land. 

In a corrupted country like Portugal people in power position can use and bully those below them and do whatever they want without fear, because in Portugal people in power protect each other no matter how big of a crime they commit against innocent people. 

My family should have learned their lesson, because when I was around 4 years old, they had also allowed a man from a nearby village to build a mill in our land, because our land was so central by the bus stop that connected to all the nearby villages and it would be handy for his clients to drop their wheat and rye to be milled and he too tried to still our land, but was not difficult to prove that it was our land and when the mill got too old my parents didn’t allow him to rebuild and eventually he left, and this man was not only a land thief he was also a child molester, because he tried to molest me once, that after that I made sure I never was alone with him. 

But now this man from a place of power in law enforcement is able to bribe the officials in the courts to do whatever he wants and the fight goes on forever. In general, people that were extremely wounded in their childhood choose professions that require violence like law enforcement or the army to unconsciously satisfy the fantasies of revenge of the child they once were on innocent people and be awarded for it instead of getting in trouble. 

They want to be in power position over others, so they can use and bully those in our society that are weaker and powerless like they once were when they were defenseless little children. 

This wound of having been abandoned by their own mother that run away to France and left them with an abusive father and then the father leaving for Germany when they were little children to be raised by aunts had to be for them completely psychic murdering and my family made the perfect scapegoats for them to pay the price for their psychic being murdered by the people that brought them into this world. “…The mother, to be sure, has her own sphere of authority in the household, where she rules over the children when the father is not at home; this means that she can to some extent take out on those weaker than herself the humiliation she has suffered. In the totalitarian state, a similar function is assigned to the security police. They are the overseers of the slaves, although they are slaves themselves, carrying out the dictator’s wishes, serving as his deputies in his absence, instilling fear in his name, meting out punishment, assuming the guise of the rulers of the oppressed.” Alice Miller “For Your Own Good” page 146 and 147 

“I designate as pessimistic the thought that we are far more dependent than our pride would like to admit on individual human beings (and not only on institutions), for a single person can gain control over the masses if he learns to use to his own advantage the system under which they were raised. People who have been “pedagogically” manipulated as children are not aware as adults of all that can be done to them. Like the individual authoritarian father, leader figures, in whom the masses see their own father, actually embody the avenging child who needs the masses for his own purposes (of revenge). And this second form of dependence---the dependence of the “great leader” on his childhood, on the unpredictable nature of the unintegrated, enormous potential for hatred within him---is decidedly a very great danger.” Alice Miller “For Your Own Good” Page 243 

“Statistical studies are hardly the thing to make disinterested jurists into empathic and perceptive human beings. And yet every crime, by virtue of being an enactment of childhood drama, cries out for understanding. The newspapers carry these stories every day, but unfortunately usually report only the last act. Can knowledge of the underlying causes of a crime bring about a change in the way justice is administered? Not as long as the primary concerns are to assign guilt and impose punishment. But someday it may be possible to gain an understanding for the fact that emerges so clearly in the case Jurgen Bartsch: the accused never bears all the guilt by himself but is a victim of a tragic chain of circumstances. Even so, a prison sentence is unavoidable if society is to be protected. But there is a difference between prison being used to punish a dangerous criminal according to the principles of “poisonous pedagogy” and human tragedy being perceived, therapy during confinement. ” Alice Miller “For Your Own Good” page 199 and 200

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