Sylvie, do you consider yourself a feminist? I am interested because someone I know claims that feminism is a hate cult and that patriarchy is a myth. I don't know what to make of this.
Answer: No, I don’t consider myself a feminist, but if being a feminist is for everyone's rights and equality then I could be a feminist because I'm a supporter of everyone's rights and equality. I do agree that a of a lot of women that call themselves feminists, just like a lot of men that idealize their mothers and take revenge on all other women for the wrongs done to them by their own mothers when they were defenseless little children.
A lot of feminists do the same; they idealize their mothers and transfer the hate of the little girl they once were into men, in general, making men their scapegoats. Hate can never be resolved by scapegoating, it only can be resolved when seen and felt in the right context.
The comments below I made on a Facebook post came to mind:
I have tried to stay out of discussions and commenting on other people’s posts because I have a tendency to trigger people’s repressed anger and then they delete me in anger, but I can’t help myself and have to make this comment.
I don’t consider myself a feminist per se, but I am for women’s rights, children rights, and men’s rights, I am for every breathing living beings' rights.
I know a lot of feminists are too afraid to go to the roots why some men and women try so hard to repress them, but I am grateful for a lot of the accomplishments some feminists were able to do before me and I have come to enjoy thanks to their hard work.
Even though I wished the feminists had the courage to go deeper, because as long we refuse to go to the roots causes, will always going to be oppressors trying to repress us.
I totally understand their fears. Laurie accuses the feminists being a hate group, but I see Laurie’s anger very clearly being transferred to the feminists' groups also.
Until people really consciously feel the fears and anger of the child they once were within the context of their own childhood, they will unconsciously and compulsively look for a scapegoat to relieve pen up anger and it seems the feminists have come to be the perfect scapegoat for Laurie.
A lot of feminists do the same; they idealize their mothers and transfer the hate of the little girl they once were into men, in general, making men their scapegoats. Hate can never be resolved by scapegoating, it only can be resolved when seen and felt in the right context.
The comments below I made on a Facebook post came to mind:
I have tried to stay out of discussions and commenting on other people’s posts because I have a tendency to trigger people’s repressed anger and then they delete me in anger, but I can’t help myself and have to make this comment.
I don’t consider myself a feminist per se, but I am for women’s rights, children rights, and men’s rights, I am for every breathing living beings' rights.
I know a lot of feminists are too afraid to go to the roots why some men and women try so hard to repress them, but I am grateful for a lot of the accomplishments some feminists were able to do before me and I have come to enjoy thanks to their hard work.
Even though I wished the feminists had the courage to go deeper, because as long we refuse to go to the roots causes, will always going to be oppressors trying to repress us.
I totally understand their fears. Laurie accuses the feminists being a hate group, but I see Laurie’s anger very clearly being transferred to the feminists' groups also.
Until people really consciously feel the fears and anger of the child they once were within the context of their own childhood, they will unconsciously and compulsively look for a scapegoat to relieve pen up anger and it seems the feminists have come to be the perfect scapegoat for Laurie.
These words below Alice Miller wrote to me before she passed come truer every day: “AM: I have learned over the years of my work on the internet that there are readers who SEEM to understand SOME of what I have written, at least intellectually, but they are still so afraid of their very cruel parents and of their repressed FEELINGS of rage towards them that they are constantly looking for scapegoats. They thus live in a continual confusion pretending that they are healed and even offering help and empathy to others. But eventually they use unconsciously other people (even the ones who are quite friendly to them) as a poisonous container like their parents did to them, and if the offended people begin to defend themselves they can become very mean. I can only urge you to trust your feelings and to NOT offer your empathy and interest to everybody just because they say they read and understood everything I have written. In most of the cases, it is a lie. To understand my books means to overcome the fear of one’s parents, to honestly feel the justified rage TOWARD THEM and to no longer use others to getting free from the accumulated rage.”
What makes me the saddest is when women masquerading with their illusion of love for men and even unborn children oppress or stand in the way of other women’s body autonomy and freedom.
Even though I understand why some women hate women and want to take revenge on other women for the wrongs done to them when they were defenseless little children by their own mothers or other woman caregivers in their lives --- the biggest oppressors in my childhood were also women --- but directing this latent hate at other women makes them no different of the men that take revenge on other women for what their mothers did to them when they were defenseless little boys.
Hate will always be insatiable and until is understood and felt within the context of our childhood will endless look for new victims to take revenge for the wrongs done to them when they were little, because hate cannot ever be resolved by scapegoating, but only when is seen, understood and consciously felt within the context our own childhood.
Until women are free to make their own choices without external pressures, they will sadly oppress others overtly or covertly, under the mask of the illusion of love, especially their children.
These words by Alice Miller just came to mind: ““We cannot really love if we are forbidden to know our truth, the truth about our parents and caregivers as well as about ourselves.
We can only try to behave as if we were loving, but this hypocritical behavior is the opposite of love. It is confusing and deceptive, and it produces much helpless rage in the deceived person.
This rage must be repressed in the presence of the pretended “love,” especially if one is dependent, as a child is, on the person who is masquerading in this illusion of love.” (The Drama of the Gifted Child: The search for the True Self) Page 23
So if we really like and care about men and children, we have to do what we can to aid women’s liberation so they can carry pregnancies to term and give birth to children by choice and love and raise children in freedom --- and not by external manipulations -- and coerced to carry pregnancies to term and give birth to new beings by force, because anything done by force or manipulations never has a good outcome.
Until women are truly free to make their own decisions, no one around them will be truly free either, especially their children, raising a new generation of oppressors continuing the vicious circle endless.
Alice Miller says best: “It is a great mistake to imagine that one can resolve traumas in a symbolic fashion. If that were possible, poets, painters, and other artists would be able to resolve their pain through creativity. This is not the case, however. Creativity helps us channel the pain of trauma into symbolic acts; it doesn't help us resolve it. If symbolic revenge for maltreatment received in childhood were effective, then dictators would eventually stop humiliating and torturing their fellow human beings. As long as they choose to deceive themselves about who really deserves their hatred, however, and as long as they go on feeding that hatred in symbolic form instead of experiencing and resolving it within the context of their own childhood, their hunger for revenge will remain insatiable”
http://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/#!/2012/07/introduction-to-revised-edition-1995.html
https://www.facebook.com/wendy.priesnitz/posts/10151911577964832
Even though I understand why some women hate women and want to take revenge on other women for the wrongs done to them when they were defenseless little children by their own mothers or other woman caregivers in their lives --- the biggest oppressors in my childhood were also women --- but directing this latent hate at other women makes them no different of the men that take revenge on other women for what their mothers did to them when they were defenseless little boys.
Hate will always be insatiable and until is understood and felt within the context of our childhood will endless look for new victims to take revenge for the wrongs done to them when they were little, because hate cannot ever be resolved by scapegoating, but only when is seen, understood and consciously felt within the context our own childhood.
Until women are free to make their own choices without external pressures, they will sadly oppress others overtly or covertly, under the mask of the illusion of love, especially their children.
These words by Alice Miller just came to mind: ““We cannot really love if we are forbidden to know our truth, the truth about our parents and caregivers as well as about ourselves.
We can only try to behave as if we were loving, but this hypocritical behavior is the opposite of love. It is confusing and deceptive, and it produces much helpless rage in the deceived person.
This rage must be repressed in the presence of the pretended “love,” especially if one is dependent, as a child is, on the person who is masquerading in this illusion of love.” (The Drama of the Gifted Child: The search for the True Self) Page 23
So if we really like and care about men and children, we have to do what we can to aid women’s liberation so they can carry pregnancies to term and give birth to children by choice and love and raise children in freedom --- and not by external manipulations -- and coerced to carry pregnancies to term and give birth to new beings by force, because anything done by force or manipulations never has a good outcome.
Until women are truly free to make their own decisions, no one around them will be truly free either, especially their children, raising a new generation of oppressors continuing the vicious circle endless.
Alice Miller says best: “It is a great mistake to imagine that one can resolve traumas in a symbolic fashion. If that were possible, poets, painters, and other artists would be able to resolve their pain through creativity. This is not the case, however. Creativity helps us channel the pain of trauma into symbolic acts; it doesn't help us resolve it. If symbolic revenge for maltreatment received in childhood were effective, then dictators would eventually stop humiliating and torturing their fellow human beings. As long as they choose to deceive themselves about who really deserves their hatred, however, and as long as they go on feeding that hatred in symbolic form instead of experiencing and resolving it within the context of their own childhood, their hunger for revenge will remain insatiable”
http://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/#!/2012/07/introduction-to-revised-edition-1995.html
https://www.facebook.com/wendy.priesnitz/posts/10151911577964832
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