Better Alone than in Bad Company

Dear J,

I started responding to your e-mail weeks ago! Let’s see if I can finish it today! :-)

I appreciate all you are trying to do to get my book out there. I feel it that eventually, my book will get all the attention it deserves, but it might be after I’m dead.

It would be nice to see it happening while I’m still alive and be recognized for my hard work, but I also feel that I’m cursed by my childhood experiences of being ignored, not seen or heard.

Would be nice to get the world’s attention to deliver Alice Miller’s enlightening information to the masses, but I personally don’t need the world’s attention! The world has a lot more to gain by paying attention to my story than I have to gain from the world.

No matter what, even if anyone never sees how amazing my story is! It doesn’t change the fact that my story is amazing and I’m so proud of my journey! I have arrived and NOW I have two healthy legs to stand on and not afraid to stand alone! 

I love the simple life I have created for myself.  The less I interact with people the happier I am! 

On my days off from work if I go a day without seeing and talking with people – I’m so happy and peaceful -- I have come to a place that unless people have the courage to be honest and open to exploring their own feelings within the context of their own childhood without making me their scapegoat or poison container -- I just want them to stay away from me and leave me alone – I don’t have time anymore for phony superficial people and cowards.

Pretty much almost everyone I have met so far -- sooner or later thinks it’s okay to make me their scapegoat or poisonous container and I’m tired of people showing me unconsciously and compulsively how they were treated as defenseless little children by treating me the same way -- because in their delusional world they think I’m a nobody and therefore a safe scapegoat or poisonous container for them.

Just like Alice Miller wrote to one of her readers: "Thank you very much for sending us this important quote. We don’t know if it was actually said by Jesus or invented by Mathiew. Both is possible. In any case, to me, it is a pure invitation to hypocrisy and lie, it flies in the face of the laws of life. If as adult you try to love a person who hates and hurt you-you are betraying your body that will suffer because of this. 

Christianity adopted this demand that contradicts with the human nature but it was not invented by it. Since humanity exists children probably were used as poisonous containers. They had to bear whatever adults wanted from them, and, as nobody was allowed to rebel, the new generations repeated what has been done to them. And probably almost all religions helped to cover up this crime and this ignorance concerning the human nature.. They do it still." Read more HERE

Thanks for sharing Sergei Polunin"s video. It’s amazingly beautiful! I think you shared it with me before! :-)

And thank you for being there! I really enjoy reading your e-mails and at least knowing one person in this world that doesn’t try to make me her scapegoat or poisonous container

Hung in there and take good care,

Sylvie