I'm Proud of Myself

I’m proud that I gave you the best gift a parent could ever give, not life but the gift of never to have been.

I keep you safe from harm; safe from disease, epidemics, poverty, crime, starvation, rape, and murder.

I’m proud of many things. I’m proud that I made the best decision of my life, never to have created you in the first place.

I’m proud that I never played Frankenstein with your welfare and sentience; keeping you safe from the horrific inevitability of a tragic death.

I’m proud that you will never experience jumping from a burning building because we humans have created the silly thing called theism and now we think we’re special and have special rights to kill others in its name.

I am so glad we will never meet because only good comes from not feeling pain and only bad is created when you are created.

I’m proud of myself for thinking of your well-being before mindlessly creating you without the thought of thousands of ways that you could have died. Some might say I am depriving you of pleasure by not creating you but those people have yet to die a horrific death and aren’t currently living in a holocaust.

They have skewed perceptions of the realities of pain and suffering. When they are able to come from their death and say it was worth it, then I’ll consider the balance.

Sure life has its ups and downs but at what cost? Almost everything that was good came from a deprivation; good food meant I was hungry, backrubs meant I had back pain, a warm bed meant I was cold, to begin with, and more importantly, the relief of suffering only came from the existence of pain.

So, this is my greatest accomplishment for you child; to never have created you and put you through all that. All for the satisfaction, for me to have something to play with and something to look at and just go, “Hey, I remember when I was a kid and I did that; I remember when I broke my elbow and my leg, that was fun”.

Unknown author