Blame Shifting

Manipulation is when they blame you for your reaction to their disrespect.

In dysfunctional, toxic and narcissistic groups, friendly empaths are outcasted and scapegoated while predators and bullies are popular and glorified.

Narcissists only surround themselves with people who enable their behavior, ignore their behavior or encourage their behavior. Anyone who tries to hold them accountable will be accused and blamed of the exact things the narcissist is guilty of. And the people who know the truth, will remain silent.

A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. They will be offended by the truth. But what is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing people's true colors." KARLA GRIMES

When someone treats you like crap, just remember it's because there's something wrong with them, not you. Normal people don't go around destroying other people's lives.

When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you.

"The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did." Jill Blakeway

Narcissists cannot ever admit to any wrongdoing. Why would they? In their eyes, they don't ever do anything wrong. They think they don't make mistakes. What they do is blame others. It's called Blame Shifting.

"When the narcissist begins to think that someone will blame them for an action, they go into self-preservation mode and will deflect all blame from themselves and onto someone else. This is where the blame-shifting happens." 

"Narcissists THRIVE on manipulating our emotions to THEIR advantage! We MUST learn this and NEVER take anything they say seriously. They are purposely doing this to provoke us and to get a reaction that creates chaos, drama, and NEGATIVE emotions. Making people feel small, diminished, and on edge makes them feel superior, powerful, and in control of us!" From Greg Zaffuto's book From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist

Pay very close attention to what your narcissist barks at you about Specifically what s/he accuses you of It's the closest thing to a confession you'll get.

"Narcissists will have everyone believing that because you speak up and talk about how they treated you with others, or because you cut contact with them, that you are out for revenge, or holding a grudge. In reality, all you are doing is using boundaries and holding them accountable"

"Holding a narcissist accountable for anything is thoroughly impossible. That's a fact. They will explode, reject, stonewall, deny, blame-shift and lie with absolutely no conscience or remorse. This is not "conflict avoidance." It is a pathological aversion to ACCOUNTABILITY."

"Agreeing to things just to keep the peace is actually a trauma response. When you do this, you're disrespecting your boundaries. No more making yourself uncomfortable for others to feel comfortable. You have control now. You run your life. Take up space and use your voice."

WHY NARCISSISTS WILL NEVER BE HAPPY No matter what type of relationships narcissists seek, they are never happy. They go about their lives seeking something that is not achievable because the ego has created the biggest fog especially for them.

If narcissists should be in a long term relationship, it is only to act as camouflage. Sort of leading a normal life but the lies, the cheating, the fakeness, the selfishness and the hate will always be there.

"WHY DO NARCISSISTS GET MARRIED? The answer is... Narcissists get married because they need a slave, a supply, and a source of gratification. Marriage for a narcissist is just a social license to use their partner as a housemaid, sex partner and a cook. For them, marriage also means a way to insult, blame shift, project their Insecurities on their partner. It is never about love, care or affection; it is all about the user."

The only principle that governs their minds is the question "How do I look?"

Narcissists are trapped in the mind of a two year old, and they possess no cognitive ability to reason, to negotiate, to cooperate, to give and take, to love, to empathize. Rather their lives consist of ultimatums, demands, greed, egocentric thinking, bullying, temper tantrums, silent treatments and a plethora of 'I WANTS' and 'GIVE ME'S'. My way or the highway