The letter below articulates how I felt all of my life. It was liberating for me to read Alice Miller’s books because I too had the same doubts already as a child. Religion is a big lie! Sylvie
On daring to doubt
Friday, December 05, 2008
I thank you from my heart for having opened my eyes to my childhood fears so I can now question everything I want to. THANK YOU!!!
I read with great interest your answer to one of the readers this month about religion.
After having gone further into your work and ideas the last months and focusing more on my childhood reality I surprisingly find myself with a total lack of respect(I haven't done anything at all deliberate thinking!) whenever I see priests, bishops, and religious programs on TV. I just feel astonished by these people's "forced goodness", and hypocrisy and I even feel disgusted sometimes (and I remember myself as a child I never trusted religious people who always had to make a point out of it. I didn't like them). Yesterday I found myself laughing when I saw a bunch of dressed-up priests on TV...it has all suddenly become TOTALLY absurd to me and all the ceremonies and bullshit theatrical talk are just funny! But I haven't done anything else than look into my childhood. It's not like going to the university and reading academic critical articles and then feeling like you've balanced something. It's rather something deep inside that has changed place and now everything that craves respect seems absurd and comical to me. The other day I was watching my favorite movie; Bergman's Fanny&Alexander, and I have seen it tens of times before. But this time when Alexander speaks about the personality of the God of the bishop I smiled and laughed heartily: Alexander says something like this:" If God is getting upset for what a little person as Alexander is saying or doing in his little life then he's just that piss and shit God that I've always suspected him to be".
Well. Alexander knew this point that it was ridiculous and absurd for a father to be obsessed with punishing a child for his utterances and honest opinions. He doesn't give in to Our Lord or anyone when the bishop punishes him, he just knows that the bishop is dangerous. The really interesting thing is that Alexander has to be this good father to himself because of the mother's betrayal, telling himself that he's just a child and can't possibly know all the things that God knows, so why should God be upset with Alexander?
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AM: It was great fun to read your letter because it happens rather rarely that my trust in my feelings and in my healthy reasoning succeed in contaminating so quickly another person. First, they react with fear and resistance, especially if religion is at stake, but sometimes, after a while, they say AHA!. I can imagine that these thoughts were liberating for you because you dared to have your doubts already as a child. But without any support, we are afraid to take our feelings seriously if all people around believe the same lies.
http://www.alice-miller.com/en/on-daring-to-doubt/
W: I have never respected any religion, and for that minor deviation one is an outcast!
N: I remember this letter, having read it a long time ago on Alice Miller's site. Now I know it was yours. Indeed, the freedom to DISRESPECT people who don't deserve our respect is the freedom to respect our own wisdom and spirit. But in childhood, we are often intimidated into showing respect to adults even when they are absolutely ridiculous and stupid.
Sylvie: N, I didn’t write this letter, but I could have because that’s how I felt also all my life. I had the honor to write to Alice Miller many times before she left this world, actually, before she left I was writing a letter to her, but because at the time my work was very busy with all the snowbirds in town, I never finished it and of course never sent it. She was the most significant person in my life and without her books and website, I would not have made it through. I will be forever grateful to her and I will carry her torch as far as I can go. I have shared some of her letters here on fb and she published three of them on her website. http://www.alice-miller.com/en/standing-on-my-feet/
Sylvie: thank you W, exactly.
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