Dear H,
I hope you are feeling better. I started writing this e-mail a long time ago but it seems I can’t get in the mood to write anymore.
I’m doing okay. I dealt recently with a difficult dominating woman or an overt narcissist but I created limits and boundaries and for now, it’s going well... I met another woman that is acting nice but I caught her in a few lies that were not necessary --this is a red flag that this woman lies and makes up shit for no reason at all and most likely is a covert narcissist acting as if personality pretending to be caring and friendly but will stab me in my back at her first opportunity, covert narcissists are the most dangerous because most people fall for their nice act that they are good people and will not believe the person telling the truth about them. The overt narcissists are so much easier to deal with -- the covert narcissists that you really have to be very careful with.
The Aida story is the story of millions of people that rather lose their health and life than find the courage to face their own painful truth. It will only be the same for you if you let it happen. You just have to find the courage and strength to stand up for yourself and walk away if necessary for a while, while you heal or forever, some bridges are not meant to ever be crossed again for any period of time. You ask me:
Stories with true resolution at the end and freedom can’t be stolen and manipulated by those in power to use and exploit… and it threatens the power of those in power positions… sadly we live in a world where most people don’t want liberation for themselves and others. Most people's objective in life is not freedom for themselves and others. Most people's objective in life is to one day own their own slaves.
I’m sorry to hear you have issues with addiction; unfortunately, most people have issues with some type of addiction either chemical or non-chemical.
I’m not much of a fan of Dr. Gabo Mate either. I find him more of an enabler than offering real assistance in helping people gather the courage and strength to start on their journey to true liberation…
Many professionals out there, do great analyses and understand well the reasons for mental illness, depression, addictions, and chronic illness, that are linked to childhood loss and trauma, and I quote a few other professionals in my book to prove that are out there, other professionals saying what Alice miller says, but how they go about to heal those traumas, they use the same old tools like yoga, meditation, 12 steps, and controlled drugs, that all it does is manipulate people's feelings, and repress their authentic feelings all over again, and as long people go on repressing their authentic feelings, they will be driven by them into the state of repetition compulsion of doing to others, themselves or both, especially their own children, what once was done to them when they were defenseless little children.
It’s the repression of our authentic feelings that causes us long-term harm and not the trauma itself.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.
Also, years ago a lady in Arizona contacted me that had a serious addiction problem, and tried to manipulate money out of me and make me her scapegoat or poison container. She was a big fan of Dr. Gabor Mate and she told me that he told her that taking a drug feels like receiving a warm hug -- my response to her was: why would you accept a warm hug from a substance that is going to betray you just like your childhood caregivers did?
I think that Prince Harry is valid in many ways. Obviously, he has unresolved repressed emotions from traumas suffered in his childhood. Also, he has a case of new-found intellectual knowledge and joined the cult of the woke pointing fingers at everyone else and not realizing he is still stuck in an emotional prison like the people he is pointing the finger at. He's still 12 in an adult body. His unresolved emotions from the trauma of losing his mother in such a tragic way have attracted a malignant narcissist as a partner who is exploiting him as all those around him are. He had the resources and didn’t need to lean on a woman or anyone else to free himself – all he needed was a truly enlightened witness and the courage and strength to learn to stand on his own two feet. He jumped from one emotional prison to another and now he brought two innocent children to his emotional prison --- it’s like he jumped from a hot frying pan to an even hotter frying pan. And sadly, he has the illusion that he took a flight to freedom...
That’s all for now! Hang in there!
Hugs from Arizona,
Dear Sylvie,
I think more
often writing to you, than really doing it.
I hope you
are ok and are not targeted at the moment, not by anybody.
I am quite
lost, with conflicts all around me and I feel responsible, because I avoid showing
off, what I want, and don’t want. I ignore any sign or feeling, to improve/change
my life, because this would mean connecting to my old self before
"meeting" Alice Miller, etc., or giving up this self. I feel tired to
write about all the details. it’s the same stuff, as I wrote earlier, just with
other people. So embarrassing, watching myself.
Anyway, in
my dream tonight, I was totally lost in a low-energy urban surrounding,
wandering around, trying to avoid trouble with strange guys. No aim to go.
Searching for what???? Finding out, that I don't have money, no mobile, no warm
clothes. ... I came across an amount of stuff, lying on the side of a street.
Leftovers of a household, what you would find on a flea market. clothes,
decorations, etc. wondering if I choose something from this. It was near a big
caraway bridge. From there, suddenly there came the sound of Verdi’s triumphant
march. And somehow some people tuned in. I went along with this uplifting
melody. Hadn’t chosen anything of the second-hand stuff. And trying to know where
to go further. And then I saw a cathedral in the far and thought of heading for this as a goal.
Now, after
waking up with this melody, I tried to find it on YouTube. I wasn't sure about the
name when waking, but it is very well known. So, I found it, watched it, read
comments; and even, as I feel at a very dark part of my life, I had to laugh:
if you find it, please read the comment from @ryanscarola. it is the second
comment on this video. And it has 40 answers. There are many which gave me even
more good laughs for some moments.
Sylvie, I keep it here. I am quite desperate. But, avoiding to take help from X and XA, the dream worker person, who made me familiar with Alice Miller. The fear of growth is bigger than the suffering... this is so embarrassing. But maybe all of this is self-pity??? I don't know. I think that I even cannot trust the tears running down when writing this. There is something terribly wrong with me, with the world, whatsoever... sorry
Take good care, H
Hi Sylvie,
Phew... I
did try to understand the Aida story for the first time in my life
How sad and disappointing :(
There is
this guy, in a conflict, and finally, he has the choice between self-betrayal
and being buried alive in a pyramid.
Well, he
decided to die with the woman he loves.
He should
have left his family home, not gone to war for his country, just walk away
with his love. This would have been the best choice. But as he engaged for his
father/ his land, he loses everything. Because he wanted to serve everything
and everybody, without paying the price of giving up something.
Could be the same with me. even more, embarrassing... but fitting perfectly...
we, humans, are crazy. There is a Lego animation film showing the opera in short. Unfortunately, there are no English subtitles, but I send it anyway.
When will we see films where they show, the liberation of people, not choosing death and betrayal???
Dear Sylvie,
Thank you for your kind email. Well, yes, I might be too hard on myself. I am used to judge myself from early childhood on.
A friend of
mine asked me, how I would honestly answer the question if I want to take care
of my mother at all. There could be no more stress raised in me, than exposing
me to questions like this. Do I want to be in contact with whom? this is so
deep and so scary and I, to be honest, don't dare to find an answer in no
relationship I am in.
this is just
weird. Sorry to write this.
I hope you are ok.
Long ago I subscribed to the newsletter from Gabo Mate because I have issues with addiction f.i with sugar, certain behaviors. I liked, that he didn`t judge people who suffer from addiction. To be honest I don`t find him that convincing. Maybe because of a certain kind of spirituality, he recommends.
funny
enough, I pushed the button unsubscribe, when seeing his latest email and then
discovered an earlier one. and felt to send it to you.
I don´t want
to offend you by sending it to you. maybe if you don't appreciate his work at all then just ignore it...
Sylvie, we live in an absolutely irritated, life-disrespecting world. it is hard to find one's place.
I hope you
can keep your safety and autonomy and find some pleasure in small things...
I will write again
take care,
H
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