This blog is about learning to understand all of our feelings and learning to consciously face, feel and experience all of our feelings within the context of our own childhood.
Everything we become and happens to us is connected to childhood. Not every victim becomes an abuser, but every abuser was once a victim of abuse, these are facts, Violence is not genetic, it’s learned.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2014/08/a-dance-to-freedom-book-reviews.html
Yes, they just care if they can use us for whatever they want from us.
Yep! I'm done with these types of people, family or not.
For a few narcissists in my life, I went from grade "A" supply to backup supply. I'm done with these types of people. The moment I get a red flag, they might have grown into full-blown malignant narcissists, I check out.
Yes, engaging with them is a total waste of time.
No, you can't! Don't waste years of your life trying to help them like I did. Run as far as you can from these vindictive, evil people.
Remove them from your life and go live your best life.
Big mistake!
Yep! People need to wake up. It's about power and enriching themselves.
Listening to Joe Navarro and reading his article below brought a person who was once close to me to mind. Only her and her mother's wounds count. Constantly keeping score. In constant competition to be the most of everything, the richest, the most prominent victim, the most perfect, etc. She continually compares how the wrongs done to her are much worse than those done to others. I'm so glad she is out of my life now; I have an ocean and a continent between us.
"What is a wound collector? In essence, these are individuals who go out of their way to collect social slights, historical grievances, injustices, unfair or disparate treatment, or wrongs—whether real or imagined (Dangerous Personalities, 2014 Rodale Publishing).
They don’t forgive or forget, and they don’t move on. They wallow in the actual or often perceived transgressions of others and they allow sentiments of animosity and vengeance to percolate and froth at the surface by their constant and attentive nurturing of those perceived wounds. As you can imagine, in an imperfect world where there are real injustices, where people make mistakes, and stupid things are said and done, the wound collector never has to go far to feel victimized.
Why do we call these “wounds” and not something else? Some have referred to these individuals as grievance or injustice collectors. These terms don’t do justice to the morbid pathology at work here any more than to call someone who suffers from bulimia or anorexia “food averse.” The illness that underpins the thinking and behavior of these individuals is psychological wounding." Read the whole article in the link below:
"Manipulated from day one." After my ex left, I promised myself I would never again allow another person to come into my life to manipulate me like that! Have been free for 25 years!
I'm sure fraud exists, but this administration is the ultimate fraud.... wake up!
That's how professional criminals hide their own epic crimes by pointing their fingers at the minor infractions of others.
I have been the target of this dirty game by professional criminals many times in the workplace. They tried very hard to get me to make mistakes so they could focus on my small infractions to hide their real crimes. But they were not able to get anything on me, and their crimes came to light, but they all became silent, and there was a big cover-up.
Based on the search results, there are significant concerns and allegations regarding Elon Musk and his Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) accessing sensitive government data, including personal information of Americans. Here’s a summary of the key points:
1. **Access to Social Security Data**:
Elon Musk’s DOGE has reportedly sought access to the Social Security Administration’s (SSA) internal data repository, which contains extensive personal information such as Social Security numbers, medical records, bank information, and earnings records. This has raised alarms among advocates and lawmakers, who warn that such access could lead to privacy breaches, identity theft, and potential misuse of data.
2. **IRS Taxpayer Data**:
DOGE has also requested access to the IRS’s Integrated Data Retrieval System (IDRS), which holds sensitive taxpayer information, including Social Security numbers, bank account details, and income records. Critics argue that granting such access to political operatives could be dangerous and violate privacy laws.
3. **Legal Challenges and Privacy Concerns**:
Multiple lawsuits have been filed alleging that DOGE’s actions violate the Privacy Act of 1974, which regulates how federal agencies collect, use, and share personal information. Critics argue that DOGE’s access to sensitive data poses risks of identity theft, fraud, and political targeting.
4. **Resignations and Pushback**:
Michelle King, the acting head of the SSA, resigned after refusing to grant DOGE access to the agency’s sensitive data. This has been described as a "canary in a coal mine" moment, highlighting the potential dangers of unchecked access to personal information.
5. **Judicial Interventions**:
Some courts have temporarily blocked DOGE’s access to sensitive data, such as the Treasury Department’s payment system, which handles Social Security benefits and tax refunds. However, other rulings have allowed DOGE to proceed with accessing data at certain agencies.
6. **Political and Public Backlash**:
Democratic lawmakers, advocacy groups, and privacy experts have expressed strong opposition to DOGE’s activities, warning that they could lead to misuse of personal data and disruption of essential government services like Social Security and Medicare.
In conclusion, while there is no definitive evidence that Elon Musk is "stealing" personal information, his DOGE initiative has gained access to highly sensitive government data, raising serious concerns about privacy, security, and potential misuse. Legal challenges and public backlash continue to mount as critics seek to limit DOGE’s reach and protect Americans’ personal information.
Based on the search results, there are significant concerns and allegations regarding Elon Musk and his Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) accessing sensitive government data, including personal information of Americans. Here’s a summary of the key points:
1. **Access to Social Security Data**:
Elon Musk’s DOGE has reportedly sought access to the Social Security Administration’s (SSA) internal data repository, which contains extensive personal information such as Social Security numbers, medical records, bank information, and earnings records. This has raised alarms among advocates and lawmakers, who warn that such access could lead to privacy breaches, identity theft, and potential misuse of data.
2. **IRS Taxpayer Data**:
DOGE has also requested access to the IRS’s Integrated Data Retrieval System (IDRS), which holds sensitive taxpayer information, including Social Security numbers, bank account details, and income records. Critics argue that granting such access to political operatives could be dangerous and violate privacy laws.
3. **Legal Challenges and Privacy Concerns**:
Multiple lawsuits have been filed alleging that DOGE’s actions violate the Privacy Act of 1974, which regulates how federal agencies collect, use, and share personal information. Critics argue that DOGE’s access to sensitive data poses risks of identity theft, fraud, and political targeting.
4. **Resignations and Pushback**:
LMichelle King, the acting head of the SSA, resigned after refusing to grant DOGE access to the agency’s sensitive data. This has been described as a "canary in a coal mine" moment, highlighting the potential dangers of unchecked access to personal information.
5. **Judicial Interventions**:
Some courts have temporarily blocked DOGE’s access to sensitive data, such as the Treasury Department’s payment system, which handles Social Security benefits and tax refunds. However, other rulings have allowed DOGE to proceed with accessing data at certain agencies.
6. **Political and Public Backlash**:
Democratic lawmakers, advocacy groups, and privacy experts have expressed strong opposition to DOGE’s activities, warning that they could lead to misuse of personal data and disruption of essential government services like Social Security and Medicare.
In conclusion, while there is no definitive evidence that Elon Musk is "stealing" personal information, his DOGE initiative has gained access to highly sensitive government data, raising serious concerns about privacy, security, and potential misuse. Legal challenges and public backlash continue to mount as critics seek to limit DOGE’s reach and protect Americans’ personal information.
Yep, it's the same drama with different actors. That's why I'm happily single now. People unconsciously and compulsively reenact their childhood dramas with people standing in, symbolizing their parents or childhood caregivers. Just like I wrote in the Foreword of my book A Dance to Freedom and signed by Petra Helm."Sylvie Imelda Shene can see what happened to people as small children. She can also predict their futures. She’s not psychic or clairvoyant, but she knows that people unconsciously and compulsively tell the true and traumatic stories of their childhoods by repeating, reenacting, and recreating them in the present moment." https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2014/07/a-dance-to-freedom-your-guide-to.html
That's where I am. It's better to be alone. And to know that you are alone rather than wake up next to someone and, nevertheless, be alone.
Yep! Don't trust secretive people; they lie by omission. I know someone close to me who accuses those around her of being liars, and she doesn't recognize that she is even more deceiving because she lies by omission.
A "lie by omission" means deliberately leaving out crucial information when communicating, thus creating a misleading impression or causing someone to believe something untrue, even though no outright false statement was made; essentially, it's a form of deception through withholding key details.
Key points about lying by omission:
Intentional act:
It's not just forgetting to mention something but actively choosing to omit important information.
Distorted perception:
By leaving out key facts, the listener is left with a skewed understanding of the situation.
Contrast with "lying by commission":
While lying by commission is directly stating a falsehood, lying by omission is misleading through silence.
"Every time you excuse the abusive behavior of your toxic family members or try to convince yourself, "They didn't mean it," you sacrifice a piece of yourself.
You end up tolerating mistreatment and blaming yourself for their inability to change. The longer you hold onto the illusion, the more of yourself you sacrifice."
Yes, playing games, in the end, everyone loses. Walk away. That's how you win!
That's how they control! They transfer their unresolved repressed fears into their employees to keep them under their control and exploit them to get richer and have an endless supply of scapegoats or poisonous containers to use for transference effect.
They think they are powerful, but behind that rigid mask is a scared little child who has never grown up. Fxck the narcissist!
Yes, that's precisely what they do. Fxck the narcissist
The lies hiding behind science are the most misleading. Negative thoughts and emotions start to subside and leave our bodies once they are understood and consciously felt within the context of our own childhood. Otherwise, you are just repressing them with the aid of affirmations, and people will endlessly continue looking unconsciously and compulsively for scapegoats or poisonous containers to exploit and use for transference effect. This is one of the reasons DT got elected: because he provides his followers with the scapegoats they desperately need.
“It is not true that evil, destructiveness, and perversion inevitably form part of human existence, no matter how often this is maintained. But it is true that we are daily producing more evil and, with it, an ocean of suffering for millions that is absolutely avoidable. When one day the ignorance arising from childhood repression is eliminated, and humanity has awakened, an end can be put to the production of evil.” — Alice Miller, Banished Knowledge, p. 143
The geeks are going to screw everyone. Evil is born anew with every new generation, and with the aid of technology, they are going to cause a lot more harm to society on a scale never seen before.
Elon Musk is a genius but is also an idiot. He is emotionally blinded by the repressed emotions of the child he once was. He gives evidence that intelligence and money alone don't save anyone from their emotional prisons.
Remember, we are living under nuclear threat because of a fxcking genius! The world doesn't need more geniuses. What the world needs most is people with the courage to face the fears of resolving childhood repression.
Once a person has grown into a full-blown malignant narcissist or evil, they are intentionally using their manipulative tactics to keep you hooked and stuck with them in their emotional prisons. They know precisely what they are doing. No, they don't learn from experience; they just keep playing their wicked games until they die. Run 🏃♂️ from these people as far as you can.
I grew up in Portugal surrounded by people with NPD. In 1981, I escaped to London when I was 22 and then to the US when I turned 25 years old. In the US, I got involved with a very charismatic and charming young man. His off-and-on love bomb kept me hooked for 10 long years. I have been free since the year 2000. Coming to accept that people try to undermine you, sabotage you, and try to destroy you is done intentionally and on purpose is hard to come to terms with. But once you accept evil people really exist, you never again ignore red flags, and never again, these people can manipulate you with their wicked mind games.
I came to learn how malignant narcissists or pure evil people really exist after I published my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions, and how much they hate the existence of people they can't control and manipulate. Since the publication of my book in 2014, I have been the target in the workplace of 4 psychological warfare. Once they know you see them as they really are and not how they like you to see them, you get a target on your back and they will gather all the forces at their command to try to destroy you. And it gave me proof that it was done intentionally.
Yes, they try to punish me for refusing to play the role they like me to play in their twisted dramas.
But the beauty of being an autonomous, free adult able to stand alone on my own two feet is that I can walk away and never look back. Now, when I'm the target of psychological warfare, I know right away who the director that starts it all is.
Walk away, don't react. Your reactions are what they want, and that's what gives them power.
"How Does Reactive Abuse Work?
Reactive abuse is an in-the-moment reaction to mistreatment from another person. When a victim reacts, the abuser uses this reaction to impart further abuse in the form of blame-shifting. The abuser will transform into a victim themselves in an attempt to make the victim view the situation in a different way and believe a different reality from the one that’s actually being lived. In this way, reactive abuse is often seen as a form of gaslighting, which is the emotional manipulation of a victim.
Why do Narcissists Use Reactive Abuse?
Ultimately, abusers tend to see reactive abuse as a ‘get out of jail free’ card. It acts as a form of justification for the behaviors that they exhibit towards another person. They know that they are abusive, but they use a person’s reactions as a valid reason for those behaviors. In many cases, an abuser will exaggerate the extent of the victim’s reaction, minimizing their own behaviors to make them appear victimized.
The real ‘value’ in reactive abuse for abusers comes in the fact that it can prevent many victims from coming forward, speaking up, and asking for help. Victims begin to believe that they are, in fact, to blame. This can make them scared to seek help, fearing authorities will believe the abuser and create consequences for the victim. Over time, victims begin to feel more and more trapped in a relationship. They feel they cannot leave and may start to form trauma bonds with their abuser."
Yes, narcissism is all about creating illusions to deceive, control, and manipulate.
Narcissists want money to have power over others.
Narcissists don't respect anyone! But they want others to respect them.
Exactly! I was captive for 10 long years. I have been free for 25 years.
Run from these people as far as you can.
Yes, many narcissists love a challenge. That's why I became a target of malignant narcissists after I published my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions.
I agree. If people grow in different directions and don't share the same values, just walk away. Life is too short to waste with people who don't grow with you and just want to pull you back into their emotional prisons. It doesn't matter if they have NPD or not.
Most of my readers follow my blog anonymously. But over a half million people have visited my blog!
Over half a million people know that I exist!
I thank all those who have bought a copy of my book. You all helped me stay afloat when I was between jobs because of being targeted by malignant narcissists in the workplace.
I'm hoping my book has inspired you to develop the courage and strength to leave the emotional prison of your childhood and do your emotional work, which is the most essential work in a person's life.
Once we are emotionally free, we can no longer be manipulated by malignant narcissists or evil people.
Me too! I have given up on humanity. I consider myself divorced from humanity. I will still be kind and helpful to every being, human or not, that crosses my path, but I will be very careful who I let close to me.
I, too, am okay with one person at a time, but the bigger the group, the more dangerous it becomes, and that's why I don't join groups of any kind.
This type of narcissism is the most dangerous. I was involved with one for 10 long years. Now, I see the red flags right away, and I don’t let myself be manipulated by them, so I cut ties right away. A female coworker I worked with recently played this game very well. I would not have survived her in the workplace without seeing it clearly.
Yes, he is hurting, and he lacks the courage to be still to consciously face and feel his repressed painful emotions. So, instead, he is unconscious and compulsively looking for scapegoats.
Yes, they know what they are doing, mainly if they have acquired intellectual knowledge in psychology. They become authentic monsters. Unfortunately, I have helped create a few of these monsters by sharing freely with some malignant narcissists close to me my psychological discoveries.
While narcissists may be aware of their actions, due to a lack of self-awareness and empathy, they often don't fully understand the negative impact their behavior has on others, meaning they may not fully grasp the harmful nature of their actions, even if they are consciously engaging in them; essentially, they "know what they are doing" but may not recognize the moral implications of their behavior.
Key points to consider:
Lack of self-awareness:
Narcissists often lack the necessary introspection to fully recognize their own behavior as problematic or harmful to others.
Distorted perception:
Their inflated sense of self-importance can lead to a skewed perception of their actions, justifying their behavior as appropriate or even necessary.
Manipulation and strategy:
While they may be aware of their manipulative tactics, they often rationalize them as necessary to achieve their goals.
I'm not mad, I'm done;
I'm not mad; I'm done. That's what people don't understand; I'm not mad at anyone; I'm just done. Done dealing with situations that rob me of my peace.
I'm done dealing with people who don't love me as I love them. Don't try as hard as I try, and don't put in the effort that I put in.
I'm just done. That's it.
Yes, they are corrupted to the core. Some lie by staying silent or by omission by not sharing information that could be helpful to others. They are liars by omission. I know someone who tells you that she doesn't lie, but she is just as much of a liar as the people she accuses of lying.
They don't feel safe and secure by themselves. And they don't trust themselves. The people we need to trust the most are ourselves, not others.
Yep!
Yep! That's why you have to leave and do your emotional work so these malignant people who all want your destruction can never again enter into your life.
Yes, narcissists are like toddlers in adult bodies, endlessly stuck in the emotional prison of their childhood with people standing in, symbolizing their parents or childhood caregivers.
Yep, once we learn to swim in the deep end of our childhood traumas -- can never again narcissists be able to manipulate us -- and gain power over us. Humanity is like a big ocean; some parts of the human ocean are hazardous. Most people think freedom is to swim upwards by standing in other people's heads. But true freedom is to swim horizontally and around dangerous waters or malignant/evil people towards the beach of the human ocean. Suppose you swim upwards by standing in the heads of others. In that case, if people below wake up and decide to let go, those on the top standing in the heads of others will freefall to the bottom of the human ocean. I'm safe at the beach of the human sea, watching most humans fight to step on the heads of others to get to the top! It's very sad to witness. You will be amazed how little money you need when you are happy and free and on the beach of the human ocean. I still need to go into the big human ocean to fish for resources, and sometimes, I do encounter rough waters or malignant/evil people, but now I am a master at swimming around it and not being swallowed by these black holes or evil energy. Soon, I will retire and no longer need to go out into the big human ocean. Right now, I'm in the safe waters of the human ocean, which are very pleasant and calm, so I might keep fishing and postpone my retirement a little longer.
Yep
Yep!
"Children of Narcissistic parents who don't become extreme narcissists themselves but become highly sensitive, honest, and intuitive are some of the strongest people to walk this earth. Their entire life is often devoted to healing wounds they never asked for.
Narcissists think they can do whatever they want and don't have to follow rules. They think they are Above the Law and Above God. You, on the other hand, are expected to follow the rules. Double standards. This is their way to suppress you and maintain complete control.
Covert Female Narcissists seek out partners whom they perceive as superior to themselves in various aspects, such as physical appearance, financial status, and other traits. Although this may enhance their public image and reputation, it reinforces their inner insecurities and fear of abandonment. As a result, they tend to undermine your self-confidence and self-worth to prevent you from realizing your true value and seeking a better partner.
Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths set people up for failure. They enjoy trying to prove a victim wrong and embarrassing them.
Example? A psychologically abusive person will intentionally give incorrect information, stand back to watch the victim take the bait (lie), and then mock, shame, criticize, and abuse the victim for doing the "wrong" thing. This is done to bring further validity to the smear campaign they have going and to make the toxic person look like they are the one being harmed. Toxic people will go to elaborate lengths to set up a victim -Shannon Thomas (yes, they do!)
Narcissists don't marry for love, connection, or partnership-they marry for control. To them, a spouse isn't a companion but a carefully chosen target: a slave to serve their endless demands, a scapegoat for their inner hatred. Marriage becomes their stage, where they can degrade, manipulate, and siphon your energy to fuel their fragile sense of superiority. It's not about building a life together but building a throne where they reign, and you are there to serve and obey. -Jill Wise ( (That's what happens in many families around the world! As the family is, so is the rest of the world! As we constantly witness malignant narcissists being elected into the highest office)
5. Deflect and bring up your own wrongdoings, making it about you.
6. Create a smear campaign, twisting the facts before you can tell the truth.
7. Turn everything around and blame you, getting angry at you or being upset with them.
8. Punish you for calling them out (silent treatment, etc.).
No matter how pleasant a toxic person may behave for a short period of time, they will almost always return to their baseline abusive behaviors. ANDY WARHOL
Walk away when :
• They think you're arguing every time you express yourself
• They dismiss, minimize, or invalidate you
• They are committed to misunderstanding you
• They shame you when speaking your heart & mind
• They gaslight, stonewall, or manipulate you
• They are indifferent to your presence in their life
• They are unwilling to show empathy when you are vulnerable
While not always outwardly apparent, narcissists often live in fear, primarily fearing rejection, exposure of their true self, and the loss of their carefully constructed image, which stems from a deep-seated insecurity about their self-worth and a vulnerability to feeling inadequate or unlovable.
Key points about narcissists and fear:
Fear of rejection:
This is often considered the narcissist's greatest fear, as it threatens their inflated sense of self and can trigger feelings of worthlessness.
Fear of exposure:
Covert narcissists especially fear the moment their facade is broken, revealing their perceived flaws to others.
Fear of criticism:
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism, even minor negative feedback, which can be perceived as a personal attack.
Fear of losing control:
They often use manipulation tactics to maintain control over situations and people, as losing control can trigger anxiety.
Yep!
Yes, they have a malicious intent. It's all about control and having power over you.
Yes, I have survived more than once! I know they are enraged, and it drives them mad. They all can kiss my a$$.
Yes, only when it serves them. No, they are no relationship material.
Yes, they go from bad to worse.
Congratulations to this young man for finding the courage to open his eyes to see and feel. Yes, don't let others exploit your unresolved repressed anger.
Alice Miller explains beautifully in her book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-rearing and the Roots of Violence, pages 42 and 43: "Just as in the symbiosis of the "diaper stage," there is no separation here of subject and object. If the child learns to view corporal punishment as "a necessary measure" against "wrongdoers," then as an adult he will attempt to protect himself from punishment by being obedient and will not hesitate to cooperate with the penal system. In a totalitarian state, which is a mirror of his upbringing, this citizen can also carry out any form of torture or persecution without having a guilty conscience. His "will" is completely identical to that of the government.
Now that we have seen how easy it is for intellectuals in a dictatorship to be corrupted, it would be a vestige of aristocratic snobbery to think that only "the uneducated masses" are susceptible to propaganda. Both Hitler and Stalin had a surprisingly large number of enthusiastic followers among intellectuals. Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but the degree of access to our true selves. Indeed, intelligence is capable of innumerable rationalizations when it comes to the matter of adaptation. Educators have always known this and have exploited it for their own purposes, as the following proverb suggests: "The clever person gives in, the stupid one balks."
For example, we read in a work on child raising by Grünwald (1899): "I have never yet found willfulness in an intellectually advanced or exceptionally gifted child" (quoted in Rutschky). Such a child can, in later life, exhibit extraordinary acuity in criticizing the ideologies of his opponents--and in puberty, even the views of his own parents-- because, in these cases, his intellectual powers can function without impairment.
Only within a group--such as one consisting of adherents of an ideology or a theoretical school--that represents the early family situation will this person, on occasion, still display a naïve submissiveness and uncritical attitude that completely believes his brilliance in other situations. Here, tragically, his early dependence upon tyrannical parents is preserved, a dependence that--in keeping with the program of "poisonous pedagogy"--goes undetected. This explains why Martin Heidegger, for example, who had no trouble breaking with traditional philosophy and leaving behind the teachers of his adolescence, was not able to see the contradictions in Hitler's ideology that should have been obvious to someone of his intelligence. He responded to this ideology with an infantile fascination and devotion that brooked no criticism.”
a political leader who seeks support by appealing to the desires and prejudices of ordinary people rather than by using rational arguments.
"a gifted demagogue with particular skill in manipulating the press"
Similar:
rabble-rouser
political agitator
agitator
soapbox orator
firebrand
troublemaker
incendiary
tub-thumper
verb
US
rhetoricallyexploit (an issue) for political purposes in a way calculated to appeal to the desires and prejudices of ordinary people.
"he seems more interested in demagoguing the issue in media interviews than in dialogue."
I had one recently make a false report, but it all blew up in her face. And now she's gone and I'm still standing.
Empathy without boundaries is self-destruction. Unconditional love doesn't mean unconditional tolerance. You gotta train your boundaries to be stronger than your soft heart and your mind to be stronger than your feelings. Otherwise, you'll be drained. So be kind and take no shit.
"A lie can travel halfway around the world before the truth can get its boots on!"
Real Evil is not something that everyone can recognize.
Real Evil is the one that can manipulate 95% of the people into believing that it's a victim and can provoke these 95% to destroy those 5% who can see and understand its reality.
