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Customer service at Indiegogo is really fast at fixing problems, but the PayPal option to contribute to my campaign was not working. We contacted customer service and they fixed the problem right away, so for those who like to contribute to my campaign via PayPal is now working.
Thank you to all my contributors for helping to make my dream a reality in such a big way. Together, we’ll release people from their emotional prisons. Thank you!!! We’re more than 20% towards our goal. Please check out my campaign page in the link below.
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http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/a-dance-to-freedom/x/5967662

Putting our feelings in the right context

“You told me to feel the feelings in the context of childhood, but I am not sure to understand very well what this mean. How precisely to do it.”

Hi A,

How to feel and put all of our feelings in the right context was the hardest thing for me to do and that’s where most people get stuck.  Until our feelings are understood and consciously felt in the right context, they don’t get resolved and they either are repressed again to be endless triggered again and again in the future or we use others or ourselves as scapegoats to temporally relieve our repression keeping us endless in constant need of scapegoats or poisonous containers to relieve our repression.  It’s the intensity of the feelings triggered by present circumstances that let us know in what context they belong. The feelings of the child are always very intense and when triggered can cause panic attacks. When we are feeling these intense feelings the adult in you has to assure the scared little girl still living within you that still is terrified of her father, that now there is a strong adult women within you to stand up and protect her and your father no longer can hit you and punish you.

When I lost my house, boyfriend , came to the end of my dancing carrier in 2000 and the  fear of not being able to find another job to keep my independence,  it triggered intense fears in me that I had a few panic attacks paralyzing me that I could not take care of myself properly and I lived on credit cards for a while, but the moment I was able to understand the roots of those intense fears and I consciously felt them within the context of my childhood, those fears started to subside and  with no longer  having the repressed feelings of the child I once was blinding me,  I was able see clear to take the right actions to deal with present circumstances no matter how difficult.  Even though I lost the house, boyfriend and job eventually I found a new job and I started fresh and today I feel better than I ever felt in my life.

Wish you courage and strength to be and consciously feel the intense fears and anger of the child you once were and liberate the scared little girl still living within you.

Sylvie

Ben: What you wrote above make sense to me because I went through that myself. I felt very moved by your words above because those same words helped me to recover and I can confirm that we feel better and more and more real with time. Those words are a reminder and a compass for whom wants to really overcome fear and live one's own life and not what other expect from us to do or to feel. It is not easy and it may seem simple seen that way, it is not but it works that way and it takes time to trust unknown feelings and emotions but when you get to know them and begin to take care of yourself in the present you open the door to your most authentic self and to your truth, your history, what really happened to us when we were at the mercy of mean parents. I have a nice line from Miller but I can't find it now I'll post it later.

AM: The child is afraid of his terrifying memories (burns and doubts). But the adult WANTS to know his story, he wants to LIVE and knows he must do this work to achieve this. Yes, it takes patience with the child who is suspicious, and rightly so. But with your assistance he will accept to confront the parents and let himself free of their scary power. Good luck!

Source (french):
http://www.alice-miller.com/courrier_fr.php?lang=fr&nid=1612&grp=1107 

 

 

Can society learn to understand the child's language?

"I hope so. Otherwise we will commit a mass suicide with the help of technology. The child's language is often very clear, but we refuse to listen to it. Children can endure terrible abuse and cruelty from the first moment of their lives, thanks to the technology in hospitals. The abuse is stored up in the mind, and it can remain active the whole life. Therefore, a mother maltreating her small baby can repeat exactly what happened to her without having any knowledge, any conscious memories. But the stored-up memories in her body will compel her to repeat the same trauma.
Unless a child receives the warm arms of a person who will console him and tell him with his arms that the shock of birth is over, this child will wait his whole life expecting a repetition of this shock. One of the first lessons is that you are alone, in a dangerous place, and nobody sees your pain. But this situation can easily be changed when we acknowledge the newborn as a feeling and highly sensitive person. Very often the child comes into life after a struggle, and we don't realize that he needs consolation and the arms of a mother. We give him medication, hospitals, and high technology instead. And we think it is good for the child -- only because we had the same experience years ago and think it is usual. What really happens in the psyche of a newborn is absolutely not interesting to most people. That is why I am giving you this interview."
Read more here: http://www.alice-miller.com/interviews_en.php?page=6

These words by Alice Miller go right to the heart

These words by Alice Miller go right to the heart! Yes, the amnesia of politicians or leaders of sects does afflict countless people. As we are witnessing how #DonaldTrump's amnesia of his childhood repression is hurting many! "Kafka was hardly aware of the fact that the main sources of his imagination were deeply hidden in his early childhood. Most writers aren't. But the amnesia of an artist or writer, though sometimes a burden for their body, doesn't have any negative consequences for society. The readers simply admire the work and are rarely interested in the writers' infancy. However, the amnesia of politicians or leaders of sects does afflict countless people, and will continue to do so, as long as society remains blind to the important connections between the denial of traumatic experiences in early childhood and the destructive, criminal actions of individuals.”
http://www.alice-miller.com/articles_en.php?lang=en&nid=41&grp=11 

Watchdogs

You're afraid ... so afraid of loneliness ... to point you into the arms of slavery.
It is true that the younger ages are conducive to blackmail. Since any alleged education is after all, a common training. We do everything for our children to reproduce the same designs ... the same figures ... even the pure reason.
Remember the first injunction or you give yourself or we'll give you up. You have the choice between servitude or solitude. We must submit or cease to be ... we are all here, to reproduce the same mechanism , authoritarian , safe, sectarian .
Woe to him who rebels or escapes ... he will be left to himself , neglected , ignored or mocked by all.
You were taught to be servile, you were ordered to serve, to suffer the most coercive for emotional security measures. It is not only to obey the order, but it is mainly to reproduce it. Unchanged. Of copy-pasted not to let go.
No ... you're not yourself. You are what was made of you ... one that looks like all the others.
Pale copy of an old model.
The same monkey which learns the same grimaces and falls in love with the same female monkeys.
Same universe where you must go through the same galleys ... because freedom is a little bit too expensive ... loneliness, anguish and decay.

Why I redo the story ?
Because you always have stubbornly to be right ... and do you know why?
Because you're like everyone else, unable to hear any reason other than yours because like everyone you know, you do not know it is not yours.
This is the reason of your teachers and your ancestors that you seek to impose on everyone, you are only a watchdog that ensures and monitors the reason for his master... being confident that it is his.
To be a man or free woman is not trying to be right but to know the reasons of others.
Alone and free instead of being chained to the same rock, that of a society that is afraid to live and afraid to die ...
http://www.lejournaldepersonne.com/2013/04/les-chiens-de-garde/ 

Plenty of Traditional Old Traps on the Internet

 AM: Certainly, if I knew of some therapists who would be respectful enough to answer your questions; free enough to show indignation about what your parents have done to you; empathic enough when you need to release your rage pent up for decades in your body; wise enough to not preach to you forgetting, forgiveness, meditation, positive thinking; honest enough to not offer you empty words like spirituality, when they feel scared by your history, and that are not increasing your life-long feelings of guilt – I would be happy to give you their names, addresses and phone-numbers.

Unfortunately, I don’t know them, but I still like to hope that they exist. However, when I am looking for them on the Internet I find plenty of esoteric and religious offers, plenty of denial, commercial interests, traditional traps, but not at all what I am looking for. For that reason I gave you with my FAQ list tools for your own research. If a therapist refuses to answer your questions right from the start, you can be sure that by leaving him you can save yourself your time and your money. If you don’t dare to ask your questions out of your fear of your parents, your fear may be highly understandable. However, trying to do it anyway may be useful because your questions are important and by daring to ask them you can only win.

6- I talk so much about the “topic” of child abuse because it is essential and nobody else teaches about this topic in universities. It is still taboo although childhood is the base of the whole life, and the ignorance on this issue is very dangerous for all societies on our planet."
Read more here

Questioning the family

Me too, like Alice Miller I am doing all I can to make it visible and enlightening parents, so the family institution becomes a safe place for children, because children need a mother and a father. No, we don’t need more nice words and books written by well intentional authors that write feel good books that are just like medications or drugs that makes us feel good temporarily, but disguise the psychological facts of childhood trauma. Like for example just came to mind the book Chicken Soup for the Soul that is a number one best seller! I could use so many other examples, they are endless! People are suckers for feel good words and a lot of people are more than willing to take advantage of this people’s weakness to get rich and make a name for themselves by recycling the same old seductive feel good traditional traps. We need books that helps us deal with the facts and reality.

Questioning the family

“You write: “In the traditional family the children belong to their parents, who have legal power over them. The children are isolated from the rest of society; they have to respect their parents, regardless of what the parents actually do, they have to obey their parents and to be loyal towards them. And the parents, often with the help of the state, can do almost everything to subdue their children; they can use the whole range of physical and mental tortures against their children.”

You certainly are right but why shouldn't we be able to change the patterns of the family instead of rejecting family altogether? And what do you suggest instead of the institution family? A child needs a mother and a father, but of course they don't need the hypocrisy, the abuse, the exploitation and the terror. We must work on enlightening parents so that families become the place of safety, truth, love and honest communication. We can't do this by writing nice words but by informing parents that they disguise the brutality they endured as children by denying it and repeating it carelessly on their children. In this way they protect their parents and produce violent people, again and again. I agree with you that families based on this system are the source of violence in our society and I do what I can to make this visible.” Alice Miller ~ From Rage to Courage, page, 75 and 76

Read more HERE