http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,28551.msg355940.html#msg355940
Thanks for writing. I never was a member of the forum I visited a few times, but because of my difficulty of expressing myself in writing I never participated and I just focused on Alice Miller’s books, site and reading the letters written to her. When the incident with BR happened I could see that this woman was very sick projecting and attacking Alice Miller for the wrongs done to her when she was a defenseless little girl. I just recently had a sociopath cross my path; this article in the link below is quite accurate of what a sociopath is. She did deceive me for a little while! I too thought was not possible for anyone to deceive me anymore! She was good! But it’s sad because if it was not for their sad tragic childhood, they would never become sociopaths.
“Sociopaths are masters at influence and deception. Very little of what they say actually checks out in terms of facts or reality, but they're extremely skillful at making the things they say sound believable”
Sociopaths never answer facts; they always attack the messenger
http://www.naturalnews.com/036112_sociopaths_cults_influence.html#ixzz1z1jOyjML
Totally they play the victim card! “She explains that sociopaths can be very difficult to identify, but notes that if she had to pick one consistent warning sign, it would be that they play the victim card very early, hoping to stir up sympathy and compassion. The author also advises us not to engage sociopaths or to think that we can beat them at their own game. By definition, they lack the conscience that may inhibit the behavior of non-sociopaths.”Thanks for writing. I never was a member of the forum I visited a few times, but because of my difficulty of expressing myself in writing I never participated and I just focused on Alice Miller’s books, site and reading the letters written to her. When the incident with BR happened I could see that this woman was very sick projecting and attacking Alice Miller for the wrongs done to her when she was a defenseless little girl. I just recently had a sociopath cross my path; this article in the link below is quite accurate of what a sociopath is. She did deceive me for a little while! I too thought was not possible for anyone to deceive me anymore! She was good! But it’s sad because if it was not for their sad tragic childhood, they would never become sociopaths.
“Sociopaths are masters at influence and deception. Very little of what they say actually checks out in terms of facts or reality, but they're extremely skillful at making the things they say sound believable”
Sociopaths never answer facts; they always attack the messenger
http://www.naturalnews.com/036112_sociopaths_cults_influence.html#ixzz1z1jOyjML
http://www.amazon.com/review/R343GNFY8QZ39Z/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R343GNFY8QZ39Z
Sociopaths are masters at deceiving and anyone can be fooled by them. I had the honor to exchange e-mails with Alice Miller in the last two years of her life. Reading your post it brought tears to my eyes because it reminded me that this incident might have shortened her life. It pains me when I see people being fooled by sociopaths like her. I was so glad to read your post that I had to join the forum to thank you for shining light on what took place. I think you might like reading the letters below I wrote to Alice at the time and her response.
Again thank you for this post,
Sylvie
Dear Alice Miller,
Thank you. I wrote this letter a month or so ago, but I did not send it. Here it is now.
Once again, thank you for having the courage to speak the truth. In your post “Barbara’s Forum2” on Monday, September 29, 2008, you wrote that instead of understanding, you receive personal attacks. It happens to me all the time. People have told me that you talk about the problem, but you don’t give any solutions. This is so annoying because people cannot see or hear the obvious solution that you do give us—the need for each of us to face our personal, painful truths and to trust all of our feelings.
I don’t know much about IFS therapy, but all the therapies I have come in contact with actually block us from our true feelings. They merely try to change the present behavior. I have learned that change cannot be accomplished without facing the truth about our past and without working through all our feelings and repressed emotions. Any change at all would just be superficial and temporary.
I’m surprised that Barbara has been sucked in by this therapy. Your experience has revealed just how great the compulsion is to repeat, to continue to do to others what once was done to us. I have also learned that people use all kinds of methods, even therapies, to run from facing a personal truth or their true feelings. I would just like to send you a hug.
Norman, thanks for your letter, “Saying the truth or being loyal,” Tuesday, September 30, 2008. And thank you, Alice Miller, for publishing it on your website with your answer. I totally agree with what you wrote: “Fortunate are the few children who can express their criticism, who are listened to, taken seriously and understood by their parents. They receive a precious gift for their whole life. But for most children, saying the truth means mortal danger. They are often brutally punished simply for saying frankly what they feel and think. As adults, they often use the same means as their parents used before, without being aware of what they are doing. They are blindly attacking everybody who questions their traditional ‘opinions’ given by their parents. Their children can't do anything else other than obey and stay loyal. Only adults can take legal actions if it comes to criminal harassment or severe defamation.”
I totally agree with everything you and Norman said: I had the same experiences. I just wish I could articulate it as well as you and Norman did. To me, it is much more important to speak the truth and not deceive myself rather than to be loyal.
Love, Sylvie
--- On Wed, 2/11/09, Sylvie Imelda Shene .. wrote:
Subject: thank you for posting your answer to B.R.
Dear Alice Miller,
Thank you for sharing your answer to B.R. I got curious and I went to B.R.’s website to read her nasty piece of writing. I did not finish reading it because it bored me to read all about her projections onto you. I am so sorry she is making you her scapegoat. Being someone’s scapegoat is never a pleasant thing. I am so grateful for your books and website. Having you here by my side for the last 10 years has been a life-saver and it pains me to see someone making you their scapegoat. I hope that you have a good team working with you and that the reader’s mail can go on forever. I also hope you have peace and health for many, many, many years.
You know when I read her book and articles and the answers to your reader’s mail, which I enjoy reading, I could feel that she still was repressed and harboring illusions. What she was writing was not coming from her true feelings but from her head. I call people like that parrots—they have great smarts, memories, and are very talented at writing and articulating, but they really don’t understand what they are saying. They are not capable of feeling their repressed feelings and they unconsciously project those repressed feelings onto scapegoats.
I had a link on my website at the end of the page of my story to your website and to B.R.’s article. I was rereading my story and clicked on the link to the article on your website and got a blank page. For a while I was in a dilemma, not knowing what to do because I did not want to create a link to her website. I started to write to you to ask you if you could write a small article how religion, spirituality, and the 12-step meetings cement childhood blindness. I decided not to bother you and created a link to the article on her website even though I don’t agree with IFS therapy (I don’t agree with most therapies out there). And now that I have proven my feelings are right, I have a responsibility to not have a link from my website to hers.
If you ever have a chance to write an article about how religion, spirituality, and the 12-step meetings cement childhood blindness, I would love to create a link to it.
Again thank you for being here and for your insights.
Sylvie Shene
On Thurs, 02/12/09, Alice Miller wrote: Subject: Re: thank you for posting your answer to B R.
AM: Here is my last, edited version of the text I sent you this morning.
AM: Thank you for your thoughtful letter I agree with you that there is a difference between the powerless, legitimate rage of a desperate child that reacts to the cruelty of their parents and the rage of the adult who is attacking others out of denial of their history by imitating the behavior of own parents from the position of "power" (even grandiosity). The first rage (of the child) should be felt and expressed in therapy, it can be then RESOLVED. The second one (of the adult), directed toward scapegoats, can NEVER be resolved (see dictators). If therapists see it as an end point of their therapies and don’t enable the patients to confront the early parents and the feelings of that time they do much HARM to them. Staying trapped in the hatred toward scapegoats can't be the successful end of a therapy. I hope that you can continue your work if you have this difference in mind and can also explain it in your forum.
On Thurs, 2/12/09, Alice Miller wrote: Subject: Re: thank you for posting your answer to B R.
AM: Thank you for your understanding of what happened. I wrote today an answer under the title "Aggression out of denial" that could help you maybe to see what happens behind some attacks. I wrote already much about religion, the 12 steps and about blinding people by using poisonous pedagogy but all this is destroyed in my writing and not focused in a specific article. Maybe I will write someday an article on this topic but I can't promise it now. If you want to publish my answer to E of today on your website you can do it.
How to spot a sociopath - 10 red flags that could save you from being swept under the influence of a charismatic nut job
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