Adoption can be such a tragedy -- Part 1

Dear X,

I read your last e-mail and I feel all your hate being transferred or projected into me and I want to write a letter to you, but I need the time to sit in front of the computer without distractions and I just not had the time to concentrate on your letter, as you know writing does not come easily to me. 

All the accusations you made of me it’s what you are doing, they are pure projections, but I will get into it later. 

I don’t have much time this week to meet up, but next week after 3pm on Wednesday looks pretty good if you have time and feel good to meet up to see if you can use this opportunity to help you free yourself from the repressed emotions of the baby and child you once were that still are repressed in you. I am sure would improve your physical health overall, but if you project your hate into the trigger and make your triggers your scapegoat they don’t get resolved and endless remain trapped in your body to be trigger over and over again and blocking your body from healing. 

You judged Michael Jackson’s  art are not being expressive art and therefore his art was not healing and that your art is expressive and healing, but you are proof that is not saving you either, you are dependent on those around you to pay your rent and on the government for food stamps, so you still a dependent little child and your art is  just helping you survive too, you remain a lost little child in a maze confused looking and waiting for a substitute mother figure to save you, but it will never happen, because no one can make up for what you did not get as a child. 

You say we need an enlightened witness in our lives, true, but what I am hearing is that you want a mother to hold your hand and that was a need of the child you once were and now no one can make up for that, you have to become the mother to that lost child still inside of you with the help of an enlightened  witness, like Alice Miller was to me. And she can be yours too if you concentrate on her books. 

Just because you don’t agree with my comment: "Art can help people survive their childhood traumas, but will not free them from it, unless they are able to face and feel the painful repressed emotions of the child they once were, they will unconsciously and compulsively reenact their childhood drama in the present moment and art just helps them cope with it."
June 7 at 7:52am ·

When you got mad at me for my comment above on your post about art being healing -- I wish you had read Alice Miller’s words below, so you could see that your art did not liberate you from your repressed hate and unconsciously and compulsively you are still looking for scapegoats to relieve your pen up anger. You not agreeing with me does not mean I did not say a factual truth, because your case is in itself a proof of my statement to be true, but you are not ready to face and feel that truth, because at the moment the pain is too much to bear and I completely understand.  

"It is a great mistake to imagine that one can resolve traumas in a symbolic fashion. If that were possible, poets, painters, and other artists would be able to resolve their pain through creativity. This is not the case, however. Creativity helps us channel the pain of trauma into symbolic acts; it doesn't help us resolve it. If symbolic revenge for maltreatment received in childhood were effective, then dictators would eventually stop humiliating and torturing their fellow human beings. As long as they choose to deceive themselves about who really deserves their hatred, however, and as long as they go on feeding that hatred in symbolic form instead of experiencing and resolving it within the context of their own childhood, their hunger for revenge will remain insatiable (see Miller 1990a).” read more here

When people are not ready to see and feel they always tell me: I don’t agree and when I hear those words from people,  I usually just let it go, because I know I cannot force anyone to face and feel if they are not ready to.

If I wanted to humiliate you like you said I was doing, I would have said all this in your public post, but I did not want to expose you to this painful truth in your public post when you are not ready to even face it in private and yes you inspire my posts on my Facebook page, but I was not exposing you in my posts, you exposed yourself on my posts with your comments, you were trying to humiliate me, but instead you humiliated yourself just like your childhood abusers did when you were a defenseless little child, but I did not respond then to your comments, because I did not want to discuss it in a public post, if I wanted to humiliate you like you said, I would have said all this in the public posts. 

You are the one continuing abusing yourself and others the same way your childhood abusers abused you, unconsciously and compulsively reenacting your childhood drama in the present moment. 

You post things on Facebook exposing the government poisonous our food, but you are poisonous yourself when a painful feeling comes up for you with cigarettes and alcohol, don’t you think the nicotine will not help heal the inflammation in your joints? 

You say Dr. Mate says that taking drugs is like a warm hug to the addict, but why would you want a fake hug from something that will betray you. 

I rather not have a hug at tall; if I get a hug I want an honest and real hug. You like Dr. Mate and maybe he is a truly enlightened witness, but he has not helped you liberate yourself like Alice Miller has helped me, so you are not a very good example of him being a true enlightened witness, but you make him look like more an enabler.

More soon I have to go now,

Sylvie

Also, read Adoption can be such a tragedy -- part 2
http://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2012/07/adoption-can-be-such-tragedy-part-2.html

2-21-2018

Hard to believe it has been 6 years already since a sociopath on Facebook targeted me trying to manipulate money out of me.  When she figured it out I could not be manipulated. She no longer had a use for me in her life and used my comment on her post to move to the devalue phase and then discard. 

Sociopaths are all the same: Idealize, devalue and discard. When in the idealize phase, they mimic you to T to fool you that they are like you. She mimicked me perfectly.  

I thought I would share the e-mail I shared with my co-writer at the time:

From: Ed Sweet <@.com>

To: Sylvie Imelda Shene <s@.com>

Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2012 3:27 PM

Subject: Re: My letter to J

Sorry to hear that she's lashing out at you....Occupational hazard, I guess!

Sad that people try to hurt the ones who just want to help them.

Ed

From: Sylvie Imelda Shene <s@com>

Date: Wed, Jun 13, 2012 at 9:07 AM

Subject: Re: My letter to J

To: Ed Sweet e@com

Thank you, Ed, but it’s all good! One more opportunity for me to practice and learn to master handling transference, because my book it might trigger the whole repression of a small country and have its collective anger transferred at me, so I have to become a master at handling transference!

I am willing and happy to be a scapegoat or a poisonous container to a small child, but never to an adult ever again, because it helps a child, but allowing an adult to make us their scapegoat or poisonous container, it does not help them or anyone, but endless perpetuates their childhood drama  and regresses us to our own childhood drama, so when people are not ready to see and feel their repressed emotions in the right context, we must walk away.

As a child, we could not walk away from people projecting themselves into us, but the beauty of being a mature autonomous adult is that we are free to walk away from anyone that refuses to see and feel.

 J’s repression it started being triggered at my party and now it came to a head and exploded, when she saw Kim’s painting, it started triggering her repressed jealousy at her adoptive brother, because her adoptive parents favored their natural son over her and when she noticed that I loved the painting your wife painted for me -- it started triggering her, because I was favoring and spent more money on Kim’s painting than on hers, so she painted this painting named “For Your Own Good” with me in mind thinking I would become interested in the painting because of me being such a fan of Alice Miller’s work.

I could see very clearly that she named this painting “For Your Own Good” to manipulate me to buy another painting from her. I asked her how much she was selling that painting for? And she said it was $2000! 

I told her that I just had spent so much money on my party, with my vacation while my niece was here and having to pay a ghostwriter to help me with my book that I could not pay right now that much for painting. 

She came down in price and now she is asking $800 for it and I was planning to get the money together and buy it, just to make her happy and give her some extra money, but I guess I was not doing it quick enough and brought her repressed emotions to a head and she shot herself in the foot by taking revenge on me for what her childhood abusers did to her when she was a defenseless little child, very sad.

Thanks for listening and have a good day.

Sylvie