Why a Narcissistic Can Stay Married for Decades

 

Nothing is more important to a narcissist than his or her image. 

They are forever toddlers in an adult body acting as if personality pretending to be adults. Endless reenacting their disastrous childhood dramas. 

All of my life people tried to make me feel my perceptions were wrong and that I was crazy so they could go on with their illusions, as usual, to keep their own repression intact -- and I doubted myself most of my life -- But now I know my true myself and I no longer doubt myself. 

I will not allow anyone to come to my life and change my perceptions and reality, so people can be comfortable and go on with their illusions as usual.

Narcissists are Stuck in the Diaper Stage -- chasing the pacifier of “money” to keep repressing childhood pain, money alone without facing our childhood repression -- is just another illusion. We live in an Upside Down World 

In most cases, rich and poor are different ends of the same stick. Fucked up people with money at one end and fucked up people with no money at the other end. 

The words below by Alice Miller explain beautifully why so many "intelligent" and "talented" people fall for the games of narcissists, the capacity to resist a totalitarian state has nothing to do with intelligence, but with the degree of access to our true self.

"Just as in the symbiosis of the "diaper stage," there is no separation here of subject and object. If the child learns to view corporal punishment as "a necessary measure" against "wrongdoers," then as an adult he will attempt to protect himself from punishment by being obedient and will not hesitate to cooperate with the penal system. In a totalitarian state, which is a mirror of his upbringing, this citizen can also carry out any form of torture or persecution without having a guilty conscience. His "will" is completely identical with that of the government.

Now that we have seen how easy it is for intellectuals in a dictatorship to be corrupted, it would be a vestige of aristocratic snobbery to think that only "the uneducated masses" are susceptible to propaganda. Both Hitler and Stalin had a surprisingly large number of enthusiastic followers among intellectuals. Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self. 

Indeed, intelligence is capable of innumerable rationalizations when it comes to the matter of adaptation. 

Educators have always known this and have exploited it for their own purposes, as the following proverb suggests: "The clever person gives in, the stupid one balks." For example, we read in a work on child raising by Grünwald (1899): "I have never yet found willfulness in an intellectually advanced or exceptionally gifted child" (quoted in Rutschky). Such a child can, in later life, exhibit extraordinary acuity in criticizing the ideologies of his opponents--and in puberty even the views by his own parents-- because in these cases his intellectual powers can function without impairment. 

Only within a group--such as one consisting of adherents of an ideology or a theoretical school--that represents the early family situation will this person on occasion still display a naïve submissiveness and uncritical attitude that completely belie his brilliance in other situations. 

Here, tragically, his early dependence upon tyrannical parents is preserved, a dependence that--in keeping with the program of "poisonous pedagogy"--goes undetected. 

This explains why Martin Heidegger, for example, who had no trouble in breaking with traditional philosophy and leaving behind the teachers of his adolescence, was not able to see the contradictions in Hitler's ideology that should have been obvious to someone of his intelligence. He responded to this ideology with an infantile fascination and devotion that brooked no criticism.”

From the book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-rearing and the Roots of Violence pages 42 and 43