So many women coming out of the woods to accuse Bill Cosby of sexual abuse that I have lost count!
I know a famous, charming doctor in Portugal that eventually will have the same fate as Bill Cosby here in America, because once the story of one woman breaks out, many other women will come out of the woods saying it happened to them also. I am sure I am not the only patient this charming famous doctor in Portugal had inappropriate sexual contact with. When I was in Portugal in the year of 2000 and 2003, I tried to contact the media there to go public with my story and I even tried to contact a lawyer there to sue this doctor for malpractice, not because I wanted money, but to expose the harm done by the so called professionals/experts that are "supposedly" to help the public, but no one got back to me, so I came back to America and started thinking about writing a book to share my life experiences and discoveries. Just like here in an America that was an open secret in Hollywood of Bill Cosby's problems with women. I know without a doubt that there is also an open secret in Portugal of this doctor having sex with his patients. The world is run by psychopaths or once well behaved children that hold hands together to hide and block the truth from getting through and silence former victims, like their own parents did to them when they were defenseless little children, but eventually the truth breaks out and can’t be kept in the darkness any longer.
Here is a little excerpt from my book, where I share my experience with this famous doctor in Portugal when I was 17 years old.
“Looking back I almost can’t believe how despicable this so-called doctor was. One time, he took me to his house while his wife was at the hospital having his second baby. Obviously, part of me was aware that what we were doing was wrong, but I was so focused on somehow harming my sisters that I let him get away with it.
When he was tired of his latest conquest, Julio ended our sessions. I imagine that he found another patient to fool around with. In an interview many years later a reporter asked him, “Is a psychiatrist also a seducer?”
“Maybe the reverse is more true,” was my doctor’s smug response.
Such a reply should have exposed him. But people in Portugal, and everywhere else in the world for that matter, are too emotionally blind to recognize even the most obvious red flags. Julio revealed just how sick he really was, but by then he was all but glorified for being an outlet for the whole country’s sexual repression. The people of Portugal still live vicariously through the escapades of this bold doctor who talks so openly about sex. And no doubt he continues to take full advantage of the collective repression for his own pleasure. In my opinion, it’s absolutely disgraceful.
Interestingly, Alice Miller has a few words to say about the seduction dramas that are reenacted by men like Julio who are compelled to use women. "The seducer is loved, admired, and sought after by many women because his attitude awakens their hopes and expectations,” she writes. “They hope that their need for mirroring, echoing, respect, attention and mutual understanding, which has been stored up inside them since early childhood, will finally be fulfilled by this man. But these women not only love the seducer, they also hate him, for he turns out to ... be unable to fulfill their needs and soon abandons them. They feel hurt by the demeaning way he treats them because they cannot understand him. Indeed, he does not understand himself.” The chain of harm done by doctors, therapists and gurus under the guise of help is endless. Alice Miller believed that most people with a “Dr.” in front of their name or a “Ph.D.” at the end of it weren’t in any kind of position to help or guide anyone, especially if they were repressing their own traumas and creating their own illusions. For many years I blamed myself for what happened… It took me more than two decades to see the truth and speak about the fact that this doctor had exploited my anger at my family to feed his sexual perversions and abuse me sexually, instead of helping me work through and resolve my anger.
In the book Boundaries: Where You End And I Begin, Anne Katherine states, “A therapist is entrusted with his or her clients’ deepest secrets. A minister bestows sanctions from the highest power in the universe. The potential for harm is overwhelming. For a person in such a role, essentially that of a guardian, to cross sexual boundaries is a grave violation. A child, a client, a patient, a follower or a worshiper are vulnerable and usually approach authority out of need. A sexual action by a guardian is very confusing, even to a very strong and healthy individual. For someone vulnerable and in need, such an action can be devastating. When a parent is sexual toward a child, the violation reverberates for decades. Trust is broken, the child takes on responsibility for the act, sexuality is affected, and the bond is damaged. When a therapist, physician, attorney or clergy person is sexual with a client or worshiper, it is also incest. A trust is broken, a bond is perverted. The person who sought care was used to meet the needs of the caregiver.” From the book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions, page 66, 67 and 68
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Bill Cosby. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Bill Cosby. Sort by date Show all posts
Monday, November 24, 2014
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
The World Is Full of Enablers like Mrs. Cosby
Since writing this blog, exactly a year later, my ex-boss, who the property manager recruited to do her dirty work, killed himself in a standoff with the local police after robbing a bank on March 11, 2016, that by coincidence was my birthday! So, the property manager does have blood on her hands after all, because I know without a doubt, if she had not started this psychological warfare against me, he would still be alive – he was her collateral damage – when people start wars someone always gets hurt or killed!!! I was her target to destroy, but when was one of her helpers to lose his mind and self-destruct, everyone involved became silent, and now is a big cover-up that involves the FBI, the US Marshals, and the media. It's a shame he was not strong enough to stand up to do the right thing and let himself become a puppet of the property manager -- he paid a high price for it. Puppets never have a good end. If it was me, the little woman to commit a crime my name and face would have been splashed all over the news stations! And then all probably go on TV talking about how disturbed the little woman was -- to discredit me and my book -- and make a name for themselves by standing on my head. And all probably say that you need God in your life, my ex-boss was a Mormon, a man of God, but he was the one to lose his mind, but now is a big cover-up. I could see their dirty games and traps so clearly.
Read more in the link below:
Bill Cosby’s wife says accusers ‘consented’ to drugs and sex
“Camille still doesn’t believe that Bill provided drugs and had sex with women without their consent,” said a source employed by the Cosby family. “She’s well aware of his cheating, but she doesn’t believe that her husband is a rapist.”
The world is full of abusers and enablers like Mrs. Cosby. They lack courage; they rather destroy former victims than face their own painful truths. Just like I wrote in my book A Dance to Freedom, pages 75, 76, and 173 “The extremes to which people go to avoid facing the pain of their own truth — even though such a confrontation would set them free — will never cease to amaze me. “To many people,” Alice Miller says, “it seems easier to take medication, to smoke, drink alcohol..., preach, educate or treat others, and prepare wars than expose themselves to their own painful truth. …Society is on the side of the status quo, so be prepared. As Alice Miller writes in Free from Lies, going against the parents “is a source of major alarm for others …They will sometimes mobilize all the forces at their command to discredit the former victim and thus keep their own repression intact.” Look what happened to me at my last job, after I published my book. My book was a mirror to the abusers and the enablers, and they didn’t like their own reflections, so they mobilized all their forces at their command to destroy me and discredit me, they rather see me dead, in jail or in a mental hospital than face their own repression, lies, and illusions.
Quote of the day Posted by Melissa McEwan
"It is not who Cosby is that accounts for our long silence. It is who we are: a culture that does not believe people who share stories of surviving sexual violence. Were Cosby an unremarkable man of modest means, we would still doubt allegations like these, because that is what we do. The rationales we offer for why we doubt survivors are varied: the accused is a legend, or religious, or has been nice to us. The survivors have any number of real or perceived flaws. What doesn't change is that when someone alleges rape, we immediately begin to grasp for reasons why that person is unbelievable."—Tope Fadiran, in a terrific piece for RH Reality Check.
Read more in the link below:
“Camille still doesn’t believe that Bill provided drugs and had sex with women without their consent,” said a source employed by the Cosby family. “She’s well aware of his cheating, but she doesn’t believe that her husband is a rapist.”
The world is full of abusers and enablers like Mrs. Cosby. They lack courage; they rather destroy former victims than face their own painful truths. Just like I wrote in my book A Dance to Freedom, pages 75, 76, and 173 “The extremes to which people go to avoid facing the pain of their own truth — even though such a confrontation would set them free — will never cease to amaze me. “To many people,” Alice Miller says, “it seems easier to take medication, to smoke, drink alcohol..., preach, educate or treat others, and prepare wars than expose themselves to their own painful truth. …Society is on the side of the status quo, so be prepared. As Alice Miller writes in Free from Lies, going against the parents “is a source of major alarm for others …They will sometimes mobilize all the forces at their command to discredit the former victim and thus keep their own repression intact.” Look what happened to me at my last job, after I published my book. My book was a mirror to the abusers and the enablers, and they didn’t like their own reflections, so they mobilized all their forces at their command to destroy me and discredit me, they rather see me dead, in jail or in a mental hospital than face their own repression, lies, and illusions.
Quote of the day Posted by Melissa McEwan
"It is not who Cosby is that accounts for our long silence. It is who we are: a culture that does not believe people who share stories of surviving sexual violence. Were Cosby an unremarkable man of modest means, we would still doubt allegations like these, because that is what we do. The rationales we offer for why we doubt survivors are varied: the accused is a legend, or religious, or has been nice to us. The survivors have any number of real or perceived flaws. What doesn't change is that when someone alleges rape, we immediately begin to grasp for reasons why that person is unbelievable."—Tope Fadiran, in a terrific piece for RH Reality Check.
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Having Special Talents Doesn't Make you a Better Person
Having special talents is wonderful and it’s okay to cash in your talents for a living, but when people hide behind their talents, fame and money to hide their own personal truth and keep themselves and others distracted from the truth and facts then you are misusing your talents and contributing for the lies to spread and silently or covertly you are part of all the violence and atrocities we are witnessing in our world. So if people think they are better than others, because they have special talents, they are being delusional.
Bill Cosby is a great example of that!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/11/24/as-a-cosby-fixer-comes-out-of-the-shadows-so-does-an-explanation/
These words Alice Miller wrote to one of her readers came to mind: "I was distressed to the core when I read your letter for which I thank you wholeheartedly. At the same time, I felt a sort of gratefulness for the fate that helped the lively, brave and bright little girl not only to survive the terrible jail of her horrific parents but also to remain sound to keep the full clarity and the unusual courage in order TO SEE and TO ACCUSE, without „buts,“ without illusions, without self-betrayal. This stance can only very rarely be encountered, and your letter will certainly help others to recognize their own situation and to forgo the „buts.“ If you have no objections, we can publish your letter also in English and French. I would like to do this because here, the child has the strength to also speak for countless other children who are forced to bear the more or less visible delusions of their parents for years and to experience that as NORMAL. Formed by this ignorance, they often remain blind for the suffering of children during their whole lives and still recommend physical punishment. They work for senseless „research,“ for the pharmaceutical industry, organize wars, produce cruel movies and don’t know at all that they still „live“ in the prison of their sick parents because they never had the courage to see through their parents’ delusions and thus continue to poison the world with the toxin that they had to swallow as children."
"It is a great mistake to imagine that one can resolve traumas in a symbolic fashion. If that were possible, poets, painters, and other artists would be able to resolve their pain through creativity. This is not the case, however. Creativity helps us channel the pain of trauma into symbolic acts; it doesn't help us resolve it. If symbolic revenge for maltreatment received in childhood were effective, then dictators would eventually stop humiliating and torturing their fellow human beings. As long as they choose to deceive themselves about who really deserves their hatred, however, and as long as they go on feeding that hatred in symbolic form instead of experiencing and resolving it within the context of their own childhood, their hunger for revenge will remain insatiable (see Miller 1990a).” read more here
Bill Cosby is a great example of that!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/11/24/as-a-cosby-fixer-comes-out-of-the-shadows-so-does-an-explanation/
These words Alice Miller wrote to one of her readers came to mind: "I was distressed to the core when I read your letter for which I thank you wholeheartedly. At the same time, I felt a sort of gratefulness for the fate that helped the lively, brave and bright little girl not only to survive the terrible jail of her horrific parents but also to remain sound to keep the full clarity and the unusual courage in order TO SEE and TO ACCUSE, without „buts,“ without illusions, without self-betrayal. This stance can only very rarely be encountered, and your letter will certainly help others to recognize their own situation and to forgo the „buts.“ If you have no objections, we can publish your letter also in English and French. I would like to do this because here, the child has the strength to also speak for countless other children who are forced to bear the more or less visible delusions of their parents for years and to experience that as NORMAL. Formed by this ignorance, they often remain blind for the suffering of children during their whole lives and still recommend physical punishment. They work for senseless „research,“ for the pharmaceutical industry, organize wars, produce cruel movies and don’t know at all that they still „live“ in the prison of their sick parents because they never had the courage to see through their parents’ delusions and thus continue to poison the world with the toxin that they had to swallow as children."
"It is a great mistake to imagine that one can resolve traumas in a symbolic fashion. If that were possible, poets, painters, and other artists would be able to resolve their pain through creativity. This is not the case, however. Creativity helps us channel the pain of trauma into symbolic acts; it doesn't help us resolve it. If symbolic revenge for maltreatment received in childhood were effective, then dictators would eventually stop humiliating and torturing their fellow human beings. As long as they choose to deceive themselves about who really deserves their hatred, however, and as long as they go on feeding that hatred in symbolic form instead of experiencing and resolving it within the context of their own childhood, their hunger for revenge will remain insatiable (see Miller 1990a).” read more here
Tuesday, August 13, 2024
Judge People by Their Character
"I wonder how the high colleges managed to produce so many high asses." Paracelsus
Character matters
As long as people's childhood repression goes unresolved -- they will be shackled into the chains of compulsive repetition -- and it doesn't matter how well anyone articulates very nice ideas... The problem is not a lack of knowledge and educated people, there are plenty of educated people with intellectual knowledge, the problem is an emotional blockage with the so-called “professionals” or “educated people” hiding behind their rationalizations and seductive theories to protect themselves from having to face and feel their own emotional pain. It takes courage to see, face, and feel our painful truths, intelligence alone is not enough --- intelligence alone just helps create seductive rationalizations, theories, illusions, and lies.
Alice Miller explains beautifully in her book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in child-rearing and the Roots of Violence pages 42 and 43:
"Just as in the symbiosis of the "diaper stage," there is no separation here of subject and object. If the child learns to view corporal punishment as "a necessary measure" against "wrongdoers," then as an adult he will attempt to protect himself from punishment by being obedient and will not hesitate to cooperate with the penal system. In a totalitarian state, which is a mirror of his upbringing, this citizen can also carry out any form of torture or persecution without having a guilty conscience. His "will" is completely identical with that of the government.
Now that we have seen how easy it is for intellectuals in a dictatorship to be corrupted, it would be a vestige of aristocratic snobbery to think that only "the uneducated masses" are susceptible to propaganda. Both Hitler and Stalin had a surprisingly large number of enthusiastic followers among intellectuals.
Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self. Indeed, intelligence is capable of innumerable rationalizations when it comes to the matter of adaptation.
Educators have always known this and have exploited it for their own purposes, as the following proverb suggests: "The clever person gives in, the stupid one balks." For example, we read in a work on child raising by Grünwald (1899): "I have never yet found willfulness in an intellectually advanced or exceptionally gifted child" (quoted in Rutschky). Such a child can, in later life, exhibit extraordinary acuity in criticizing the ideologies of his opponents--and in puberty even the views by his own parents-- because in these cases his intellectual powers can function without impairment.
Only within a group--such as one consisting of adherents of an ideology or a theoretical school--that represents the early family situation will this person on occasion still display a naïve submissiveness and uncritical attitude that completely believe his brilliance in other situations. Here, tragically, his early dependence upon tyrannical parents is preserved, a dependence that--in keeping with the program of "poisonous pedagogy"--goes undetected.
This explains why Martin Heidegger, for example, who had no trouble in breaking with traditional philosophy and leaving behind the teachers of his adolescence, was not able to see the contradictions in Hitler's ideology that should have been obvious to someone of his intelligence. He responded to this ideology with an infantile fascination and devotion that brooked no criticism.”
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2016/05/education-alone-is-just-another-illusion.html?m=1
Having special talents is wonderful and it’s okay to cash in your talents for a living, but when people hide behind their talents, fame and money to hide their own personal truth and keep themselves and others distracted from the truth and facts then you are misusing your talents and contributing for the lies to spread and silently or covertly you are part of all the violence and atrocities we are witnessing in our world. So if people think they are better than others, because they have special talents, they are being delusional.
Bill Cosby is a great example of that!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/11/24/as-a-cosby-fixer-comes-out-of-the-shadows-so-does-an-explanation/
These words Alice Miller wrote to one of her readers came to mind: "I was distressed to the core when I read your letter for which I thank you wholeheartedly. At the same time, I felt a sort of gratefulness for the fate that helped the lively, brave and bright little girl not only to survive the terrible jail of her horrific parents but also to remain sound to keep the full clarity and the unusual courage in order TO SEE and TO ACCUSE, without „buts,“ without illusions, without self-betrayal. This stance can only very rarely be encountered, and your letter will certainly help others to recognize their own situation and to forgo the „buts.“ If you have no objections, we can publish your letter also in English and French. I would like to do this because here, the child has the strength to also speak for countless other children who are forced to bear the more or less visible delusions of their parents for years and to experience that as NORMAL. Formed by this ignorance, they often remain blind for the suffering of children during their whole lives and still recommend physical punishment. They work for senseless „research,“ for the pharmaceutical industry, organize wars, produce cruel movies and don’t know at all that they still „live“ in the prison of their sick parents because they never had the courage to see through their parents’ delusions and thus continue to poison the world with the toxin that they had to swallow as children."
Bill Cosby is a great example of that!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/11/24/as-a-cosby-fixer-comes-out-of-the-shadows-so-does-an-explanation/
These words Alice Miller wrote to one of her readers came to mind: "I was distressed to the core when I read your letter for which I thank you wholeheartedly. At the same time, I felt a sort of gratefulness for the fate that helped the lively, brave and bright little girl not only to survive the terrible jail of her horrific parents but also to remain sound to keep the full clarity and the unusual courage in order TO SEE and TO ACCUSE, without „buts,“ without illusions, without self-betrayal. This stance can only very rarely be encountered, and your letter will certainly help others to recognize their own situation and to forgo the „buts.“ If you have no objections, we can publish your letter also in English and French. I would like to do this because here, the child has the strength to also speak for countless other children who are forced to bear the more or less visible delusions of their parents for years and to experience that as NORMAL. Formed by this ignorance, they often remain blind for the suffering of children during their whole lives and still recommend physical punishment. They work for senseless „research,“ for the pharmaceutical industry, organize wars, produce cruel movies and don’t know at all that they still „live“ in the prison of their sick parents because they never had the courage to see through their parents’ delusions and thus continue to poison the world with the toxin that they had to swallow as children."
https://www.alice-miller.com/en/a-letter-to-my-father/
"It is a great mistake to imagine that one can resolve traumas in a symbolic fashion. If that were possible, poets, painters, and other artists would be able to resolve their pain through creativity. This is not the case, however. Creativity helps us channel the pain of trauma into symbolic acts; it doesn't help us resolve it. If symbolic revenge for maltreatment received in childhood were effective, then dictators would eventually stop humiliating and torturing their fellow human beings. As long as they choose to deceive themselves about who really deserves their hatred, however, and as long as they go on feeding that hatred in symbolic form instead of experiencing and resolving it within the context of their own childhood, their hunger for revenge will remain insatiable (see Miller 1990a).” read more here
"It is a great mistake to imagine that one can resolve traumas in a symbolic fashion. If that were possible, poets, painters, and other artists would be able to resolve their pain through creativity. This is not the case, however. Creativity helps us channel the pain of trauma into symbolic acts; it doesn't help us resolve it. If symbolic revenge for maltreatment received in childhood were effective, then dictators would eventually stop humiliating and torturing their fellow human beings. As long as they choose to deceive themselves about who really deserves their hatred, however, and as long as they go on feeding that hatred in symbolic form instead of experiencing and resolving it within the context of their own childhood, their hunger for revenge will remain insatiable (see Miller 1990a).” read more here
Saturday, December 6, 2025
When Illusions Protect Abuse: A Conversation With a Reader About Silence, Shadows, and the Human Struggle to Wake Up
Some messages arrive quietly, years after the first exchange, and yet they open the same deep truth. J—a reader from Germany who first wrote to me in 2011—reached out again. Back then, she discovered my blog while searching for others who understood Alice Miller’s insights. She recognized herself in a post I wrote to my niece D, and signed her message “splitbrain.” This week, she wrote with reflections on Dr. Júlio Machado Vaz after reading my recent posts exposing his long-protected abuses.
Her words touched on something crucial:
Why do people refuse to see the darkness hiding behind “honorable” and “knowledgeable” public figures?
J wrote:
“One just refuses to realize that such an ‘honorable,’ ‘knowledgeable’ therapist and writer carries such a shadow. One just doesn't want to know… and this is crucial.”
And she is right. Most people don’t want to know. Most people don’t care unless the wound touches their own skin.
No one cared about them when they were defenseless children, and now they don’t care about others unless it affects them personally. Emotional blindness becomes a survival strategy, passed down silently from one generation to the next.
The Well-Kept Secret Behind the Prestigious Doctor
Dr. Julio Machado Vaz learned early how to hide his authentic self behind a polished false persona. With his education and his public image, he mastered repression, compartmentalization, and rationalization to perfection. He could write poetic sentences about human suffering while inflicting suffering behind closed doors.
This is how wolves in sheep’s clothing rise to prestige.
And like Bill Cosby in the United States, Dr. Julio Machado Vaz’s abuses were a well-kept secret long before I spoke out. When my niece—who was still a college student at the time—told a colleague about what happened to me, that colleague’s mother, a judge, confirmed there were already rumors about him having sex with his patients.
A nation knew. A profession knew. And yet, all stayed silent.
As I wrote years ago:
“The silence by those sitting on the sidelines is the real killer.”
Society protects its predators not because it loves them, but because it fears the truth about itself.
Humans as Repressed Machines
People say AI is trained on large language models. But emotionally repressed humans are also trained—programmed—by fear, obedience, and denial.
Most intellectuals walking around today are like sophisticated machines: emotionally numb, highly functional, rewarded for illusions.
AI, unlike humans, carries no repression. Its danger comes not from itself, but from the unconscious humanity that uses it. Deepfakes, deception, manipulation—these are not AI’s inventions; they are human inventions amplified through a more powerful tool.
Humanity is not ready for AI because humanity has not faced its own shadow.
If people don’t wake up soon, technology will accelerate the destruction they have been carrying inside for generations.
The Cheerfulness That Hides Quarrels
J also wrote:
“I write cheerfully, but still create terrible quarrels.”
Before liberating myself from my childhood repression, I did the same.
I smiled.
I was cheerful.
And in private, I fell into depressions I couldn't name.
When we repress our true feelings, cheerfulness becomes a mask—and the unresolved pain erupts later in conflicts we can’t control.
Today, after doing the emotional work, I feel like a genuinely happy child again—with the consciousness of an adult who finally understands what happened to her. Like Alice Miller wrote:
“If I allow myself to feel what pains or gladdens me, what annoys or enrages me, and why this is the case, if I know what I need and what I do not want at all costs. I will know myself well enough to love my life and find it interesting, regardless of age or social status. Then I will hardly feel the need to terminate my life unless the process of aging and the increasing frailty of the body should set off such thoughts in me. But even then, I will know that I have lived my own, true life.”
That is emotional freedom.
A Wish for J—and for Humanity
To J, I said:
Be kind to yourself. Don’t punish yourself so harshly. We can only grow when we accept ourselves where we are.
In this chaotic world, where illusions still rule and silence still kills, self-honesty is the only light we have.
And to anyone reading this:
Wake up while you still can.
Technology is accelerating the consequences of emotional repression.
The truth is no longer optional. It is survival.
This essay was written in collaboration with artificial intelligence (ChatGPT) as a tool for reflection, synthesis, and articulation. The responsibility for the ideas and interpretations expressed here remains my own.
Also, read about Dr. Johnnie Barto, a sexual predator pediatrician, gets up to 158 years in prison
Will More Women in Portugal Find the Courage to Report Dr. Julio Machado Vaz's Sexual Abuse?
Outonecer: When a Predator Performs Wisdom in Autumn
Monday, October 15, 2018
Open Letter to Cristiano Ronaldo
Dear Mr. Ronaldo,
I’m extremely dyslexic and writing is one of the hardest things for me to do in life. I can’t afford to pay an editor at the moment to edit my writings, so I apologize if you have difficulty understanding my letter.
To tell you the truth I have given up on humanity. I think humanity has passed the point of no return.
But I feel compelled to reach out to you.
These words by Leo Tolstoy could not be truer: “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” This is the problem with our society. No one wants to look in the mirror and face themselves.
If you like to take the attention from yourself and put it on someone else that should be held by Portuguese society to a higher standard than athletes.
Ask all the talking heads on TV -- why are they protecting Dr. Julio Macchado Vaz with a wall of silence?
I have been trying to tell my story since the year 2000, I went to Portugal and contacted the media there to go public with my story and I even tried to contact a lawyer there to sue this doctor for malpractice, not because I wanted money, but to expose the harm done by the so-called professionals/experts that are "supposedly" to help the public, but no one got back to me, so I came back to America and started thinking about writing a book to tell my story, share my life experiences, and psychological discoveries. I published my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusion in 2014 -- and I hope you read it.
Just like here in an America that was an open secret in Hollywood of Bill Cosby's problems with women.
I know without a doubt that there is also an open secret in Portugal of this doctor having sex with his patients.
They don't pay attention to my story, because my story is a connected story and I own it, so they feel threatened by my story. Owned and connected stories like mine need to be told, but sadly most people in the media are only interested in disowned and disconnected stories of victims without resolution they can exploit for pure sensationalism, they are like vultures looking for dead bodies.
And they feel threatened by owned and connected stories like mine, because stories like mine, makes people look in the mirror to question themselves, their own parents and people in power position standing in symbolizing their parents. AND WHO WANTS TO DO THAT?! Most people are still scared little children afraid of being punished if they dare to speak the naked truth and expose the real state of affairs.
This quote by Alice Miller that I included in my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions, page 76 -- it's so true: “To many people, it seems easier to take medication, to smoke, drink alcohol, preach, educate or treat others, and prepare wars than expose themselves to their own painful truth.”
But I feel compelled to reach out to you.
These words by Leo Tolstoy could not be truer: “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” This is the problem with our society. No one wants to look in the mirror and face themselves.
If you like to take the attention from yourself and put it on someone else that should be held by Portuguese society to a higher standard than athletes.
Ask all the talking heads on TV -- why are they protecting Dr. Julio Macchado Vaz with a wall of silence?
I have been trying to tell my story since the year 2000, I went to Portugal and contacted the media there to go public with my story and I even tried to contact a lawyer there to sue this doctor for malpractice, not because I wanted money, but to expose the harm done by the so-called professionals/experts that are "supposedly" to help the public, but no one got back to me, so I came back to America and started thinking about writing a book to tell my story, share my life experiences, and psychological discoveries. I published my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusion in 2014 -- and I hope you read it.
Just like here in an America that was an open secret in Hollywood of Bill Cosby's problems with women.
I know without a doubt that there is also an open secret in Portugal of this doctor having sex with his patients.
They don't pay attention to my story, because my story is a connected story and I own it, so they feel threatened by my story. Owned and connected stories like mine need to be told, but sadly most people in the media are only interested in disowned and disconnected stories of victims without resolution they can exploit for pure sensationalism, they are like vultures looking for dead bodies.
And they feel threatened by owned and connected stories like mine, because stories like mine, makes people look in the mirror to question themselves, their own parents and people in power position standing in symbolizing their parents. AND WHO WANTS TO DO THAT?! Most people are still scared little children afraid of being punished if they dare to speak the naked truth and expose the real state of affairs.
This quote by Alice Miller that I included in my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions, page 76 -- it's so true: “To many people, it seems easier to take medication, to smoke, drink alcohol, preach, educate or treat others, and prepare wars than expose themselves to their own painful truth.”
I don’t know the details of what happened in the hotel in Las Vegas, only you and Ms. Mayorga know the real truth. I read the whole article Her Name Is Kathryn The Woman Who Accuses Ronaldo of Rape by Spiegel online and there is no doubt that something happened.
All the other dancers were always totally star struck by rich and famous people like you -- and they all flocked to the rich and famous people's table – to me famous people are just like everyone else and I treat them the same --as everybody else -- I don't care how talented or how much money they have -- so most rich and famous people didn't spend much time talking with me and would move on to the other girls that give them the special treatment they thought they deserved.
The look of Ms. Kathryn Mayorga in the picture below, she is totally star struck by you!
Yes, a lot of young girls look at famous and rich guys like you as a path to freedom and salvation, because like you -- they also suffer from the same illusions that money and fame alone is the path to freedom and salvation.
In 2012 I got into a debate with an ex-dancer from Israel that used to dance in New York City where she confessed to having sex for money with customers, she met at the club.
You can read more about this debate with the ex-dancer on my blog Comments and thoughts on the “Doll” Documentary” by Zohar Wagner that gives insight into these dangerous exploitative relationships.
Most dancers would enter mutually into exploitative relationships -- men trying to exploit them sexually and the dancers try to get as much money out of them as they possibly could and they did not have boundaries or limits in what they did in order to get to the men’s money, so they were each other’s victims.
But this doesn't mean it's okay to force yourself on them and not accept their no at any time -- if they change their mind -- and ask you to stop.
While growing up in Portugal I had many experiences with Portuguese boys that they didn't know what the word NO meant! I talk about it in my book -- that I hope you read -- a little bit about my experiences with many Portuguese boys that didn't know the meaning of the word NO.
I also shared in a comment in the article in the link below of an experience with Portuguese boys in the Summer of 1983 while I was in Paris. "..while I was in Paris, France one summer I was working in a restaurant and Portuguese people, that, “look like nice people”, came to eat and they invite me to go with them for coffee and me thinking -- for being with those from my own country --- it would be okay and safe, but when I was inside the car with them, they started to disrespect me and when they stopped at the traffic light I got out of the car really quickly. I am sure if I had not gotten out of the car I would have been raped by those Portuguese young people that looked like they were nice guys, that day I learn to avoid and be careful with Portuguese people because most of them have no respect for themselves and others. ..."
https://www.facebook.com/notes/sylvie-imelda-shene/its-still-a-mans-world/453280120451/
In 2012 I got into a debate with an ex-dancer from Israel that used to dance in New York City where she confessed to having sex for money with customers, she met at the club.
You can read more about this debate with the ex-dancer on my blog Comments and thoughts on the “Doll” Documentary” by Zohar Wagner that gives insight into these dangerous exploitative relationships.
Most dancers would enter mutually into exploitative relationships -- men trying to exploit them sexually and the dancers try to get as much money out of them as they possibly could and they did not have boundaries or limits in what they did in order to get to the men’s money, so they were each other’s victims.
But this doesn't mean it's okay to force yourself on them and not accept their no at any time -- if they change their mind -- and ask you to stop.
While growing up in Portugal I had many experiences with Portuguese boys that they didn't know what the word NO meant! I talk about it in my book -- that I hope you read -- a little bit about my experiences with many Portuguese boys that didn't know the meaning of the word NO.
I also shared in a comment in the article in the link below of an experience with Portuguese boys in the Summer of 1983 while I was in Paris. "..while I was in Paris, France one summer I was working in a restaurant and Portuguese people, that, “look like nice people”, came to eat and they invite me to go with them for coffee and me thinking -- for being with those from my own country --- it would be okay and safe, but when I was inside the car with them, they started to disrespect me and when they stopped at the traffic light I got out of the car really quickly. I am sure if I had not gotten out of the car I would have been raped by those Portuguese young people that looked like they were nice guys, that day I learn to avoid and be careful with Portuguese people because most of them have no respect for themselves and others. ..."
https://www.facebook.com/notes/sylvie-imelda-shene/its-still-a-mans-world/453280120451/
Even if Ms. Kathryn Mayorga accusations are not true. You are in the stage of the world and all eyes are on you! This can be an opportunity for you and your millions of followers to become real and open the path for all humanity to free themselves from lies and illusions.
Is not just dancers that get into these exploitative relationships. Everywhere I look I see people in this type of exploitative relationships and not in an equal partnership between adults.
I am pretty sure most people, if not all the people, around you, are around you, because, they just want to exploit you, stand in your head -- take ownership of your story -- and make as much money out of your story as they possibly can -- if you lost all of your money -- most, if not all around you would leave.
Is not just dancers that get into these exploitative relationships. Everywhere I look I see people in this type of exploitative relationships and not in an equal partnership between adults.
I am pretty sure most people, if not all the people, around you, are around you, because, they just want to exploit you, stand in your head -- take ownership of your story -- and make as much money out of your story as they possibly can -- if you lost all of your money -- most, if not all around you would leave.
I have been living in Arizona since 1985! And I didn't hear of you until my niece that lives in Portugal came to visit me in Arizona -- while she was here -- she mentioned to me that you paid a woman to have a child for you --- that gave me a small window right away to a troubled soul.
A seeing and a feeling man would never pay a woman to bring a child into the world to separate from the mother at birth. And a seeing and a feeling woman would not EVER agree to carry a pregnancy to term for money and give birth to a new being to give away after birth like a puppy or a kitten -- babies are not puppies or kittens --- the trauma of separation from the mother is a hard trauma to heal and a seeing and a feeling man and woman would NEVER traumatize a baby like that.
I read a little bit of your history that you are, like me, the product of an unwanted pregnancy -- this pain of being unwanted is hard to heal -- and we go through life feeling unwanted everywhere we go -- it took me more than 40 years to heal this trauma -- and everytime I'm rejected in the present moment -- it is still a painful reminder -- of the pain of being an unwanted and rejected child.
I read your mother even thought about aborting you; you are unconsciously and compulsively reenacting your childhood traumas -- traumatizing yourself and others like you were traumatized when you were a defenseless little infant.
You have been repressing this pain with the aid of football, money, and fame, but now with Ms.Mayorga accusation of rape -- she is triggering this pain to the surface and bringing you to your knees -- not to be brought closer to god like religion wants you to believe -- but to face your childhood repression and gain ownership of your own story and free yourself from the emotional prison you were born in.
Your fans and the people around you don't care about you and how much you suffered as a child because they don't want to be reminded of their own painful childhoods. They are just interested that you win games for them, protect your image, so they can keep on going on, as usual, to exploit you to distract themselves from facing their own painful truths.
Like I wrote in my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions page 39 and 62: "It’s also important to realize that unresolved trauma will always catch up with us. “Merely forgetting early traumas and early neglect is no solution,” Alice Miller writes. Instead, we have to go back in time and deal with the true feelings we had as children. Only then can we free ourselves from overwhelming fear, shame, guilt, anger, and frustration. Getting to that point is a lot easier when you have someone who can help you understand how present events trigger repressed feelings.
Alice Miller calls the type of person who can help an adult face their childhood traumas an enlightened — or knowing — witness. Ideally, parents should fulfill the role of helping witnesses while their children are still little — ...but too many mothers and fathers are too traumatized themselves to provide the patience and loving support their children need.
When most people grow up they unconsciously and compulsively reenact their own childhood traumas with people who have nothing to do with those painful scenarios, such as their own kids.
Parents who have suffered are compelled to make sure that others suffer, too, and the cycle can go on for eternity.
...Abused and otherwise traumatized children are forced to repress their true feelings unless they’re lucky enough to find someone to comfort them.
But because enlightened witnesses (and even helping witnesses) aren’t always readily available, most of us develop what Alice Miller calls a false self — usually for the sake of our parents — only to pay for it later in life.
In an article entitled “The Essential Role of an Enlightened Witness in Society,” Alice Miller writes that “it seems clear to me that information about abuse inflicted during childhood is recorded in our body cells as a sort of memory, linked to repressed anxiety. If, lacking the aid of an enlightened witness, these memories fail to break through to consciousness, they often compel the person to violent acts that reproduce the abuse suffered in childhood, which was repressed in order to survive. The aim is to avoid the fear of powerlessness before a cruel adult. This fear can be eluded momentarily by creating situations in which one plays the active role, the role of the powerful, towards a powerless person.” This is how the vicious cycle of parental abuse continues for generations. And in extreme cases, the repetition compulsion can lead to violent atrocities against humanity."
A seeing and a feeling man would never pay a woman to bring a child into the world to separate from the mother at birth. And a seeing and a feeling woman would not EVER agree to carry a pregnancy to term for money and give birth to a new being to give away after birth like a puppy or a kitten -- babies are not puppies or kittens --- the trauma of separation from the mother is a hard trauma to heal and a seeing and a feeling man and woman would NEVER traumatize a baby like that.
I read a little bit of your history that you are, like me, the product of an unwanted pregnancy -- this pain of being unwanted is hard to heal -- and we go through life feeling unwanted everywhere we go -- it took me more than 40 years to heal this trauma -- and everytime I'm rejected in the present moment -- it is still a painful reminder -- of the pain of being an unwanted and rejected child.
I read your mother even thought about aborting you; you are unconsciously and compulsively reenacting your childhood traumas -- traumatizing yourself and others like you were traumatized when you were a defenseless little infant.
You have been repressing this pain with the aid of football, money, and fame, but now with Ms.Mayorga accusation of rape -- she is triggering this pain to the surface and bringing you to your knees -- not to be brought closer to god like religion wants you to believe -- but to face your childhood repression and gain ownership of your own story and free yourself from the emotional prison you were born in.
Your fans and the people around you don't care about you and how much you suffered as a child because they don't want to be reminded of their own painful childhoods. They are just interested that you win games for them, protect your image, so they can keep on going on, as usual, to exploit you to distract themselves from facing their own painful truths.
Like I wrote in my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions page 39 and 62: "It’s also important to realize that unresolved trauma will always catch up with us. “Merely forgetting early traumas and early neglect is no solution,” Alice Miller writes. Instead, we have to go back in time and deal with the true feelings we had as children. Only then can we free ourselves from overwhelming fear, shame, guilt, anger, and frustration. Getting to that point is a lot easier when you have someone who can help you understand how present events trigger repressed feelings.
Alice Miller calls the type of person who can help an adult face their childhood traumas an enlightened — or knowing — witness. Ideally, parents should fulfill the role of helping witnesses while their children are still little — ...but too many mothers and fathers are too traumatized themselves to provide the patience and loving support their children need.
When most people grow up they unconsciously and compulsively reenact their own childhood traumas with people who have nothing to do with those painful scenarios, such as their own kids.
Parents who have suffered are compelled to make sure that others suffer, too, and the cycle can go on for eternity.
...Abused and otherwise traumatized children are forced to repress their true feelings unless they’re lucky enough to find someone to comfort them.
But because enlightened witnesses (and even helping witnesses) aren’t always readily available, most of us develop what Alice Miller calls a false self — usually for the sake of our parents — only to pay for it later in life.
In an article entitled “The Essential Role of an Enlightened Witness in Society,” Alice Miller writes that “it seems clear to me that information about abuse inflicted during childhood is recorded in our body cells as a sort of memory, linked to repressed anxiety. If, lacking the aid of an enlightened witness, these memories fail to break through to consciousness, they often compel the person to violent acts that reproduce the abuse suffered in childhood, which was repressed in order to survive. The aim is to avoid the fear of powerlessness before a cruel adult. This fear can be eluded momentarily by creating situations in which one plays the active role, the role of the powerful, towards a powerless person.” This is how the vicious cycle of parental abuse continues for generations. And in extreme cases, the repetition compulsion can lead to violent atrocities against humanity."
You have an opportunity here to resolve your childhood repression and become real and authentic.
It will require great courage and you might lose some money and many fans, but you will recover your soul -- and save your soul -- and your children's' souls -- our souls are our authentic feelings -- without our authentic feelings -- we become soulless -- like robots -- and when we repress and deny our authentic feelings -- we will be endlessly driven by them compulsively and unconsciously -- to do to others -- what once was done to us -- when we were defenseless little infants.
Now you have a choice to become real or go back to live in denial -- falsing your true feelings for feelings you don't have --- acting as if personality -- and continue to live and die in an emotional prison -- like millions of people in our world.
While growing up in Portugal I always said to myself: the pain stops with me and I will never be like my abusers.
It took me almost all of my life to break free from the chains of repetition compulsion and this is my proudest achievement and it doesn't matter if society ever recognizes one's liberation to be the most important achievement in a person's life. I'm free at last.
Wishing you much courage and strength to break free from the chains of repetition compulsion.
Sincerely,
Sylvie Imelda Shene
Today 6-9-19 my sister shared this post of Cristiano Ronaldo on Facebook:
Respect 👏👏
My comment on her post: The question is: Is he genuine or he does it just to create a good image for himself. Most random acts of kindness in our society are done just to manipulate public perception. Most people out there are acting as if personality pretending to be good people but are wolves in sheep's clothing -- learn to question everything -- I constantly witness people behind closed doors creating traps to trap the emotionally blind and then when people are looking rescue the people they just trapped so they look like heroes. Everywhere I look I see every well-orchestrated illusions.
Friday, March 27, 2026
Character Matters: Why Emotional Blindness Is More Dangerous Than Ignorance
We often assume that knowledge, intelligence, and education are the safeguards against cruelty, tyranny, and moral failure. But history—and our current moment—tell a different story. Some of the most articulate, highly educated people have been among the most enthusiastic followers of dictators. Some of the most gifted artists and intellectuals have remained willfully blind to suffering, even as they wielded brilliant minds.
Why? Because character is not forged by intellect. It is forged in the crucible of early emotional experience.
I recently watched a video of James O’Brien reacting to Trump’s latest flurry of faux pas, and I found myself thinking not about politics in the conventional sense, but about something deeper: what kind of emotional wiring allows a person—or a nation—to elect a malignant narcissist to the highest office? My own comment on the video tried to articulate this:
“I think Trump likely has a learning disability himself—but that’s not the real issue. The real issue is that he’s a dangerously repressed individual who has developed into a full-blown malignant narcissist and sociopath, utterly devoid of empathy. I’m extremely dyslexic, but I see myself and others clearly—so I know this isn’t about intelligence. The problem is emotional blindness. Trump and his supporters seem to lack it entirely; otherwise, they never would have voted him into the highest office and put the entire world in such a dangerous position. Sexism and racism come with a very high price. We’re all paying it.”
That comment brought to mind the work of Alice Miller, the Swiss psychologist who spent her career tracing the roots of violence, tyranny, and emotional deadness back to childhood. Miller understood something that our culture often refuses to see: the capacity for empathy, for ethical clarity, for resistance to authoritarianism—these are not gifts of IQ. They are gifts of emotional freedom.
The Formation of Character
As Miller writes:
“We do not arrive in this world as a clean slate. Every new baby comes with a history of its own, the history of the nine months between conception and birth. In addition, children have the genetic blueprint they inherit from their parents. These factors may help determine what kind of a temperament a child will have, what inclinations, gifts, and predispositions. But character depends crucially upon whether a person is given love, protection, tenderness, and understanding or exposed to rejection, coldness, indifference, and cruelty in the early formative years.”
The stimulus for empathy is the experience of being empathized with. In the absence of that—when a child is neglected, emotionally starved, or subjected to abuse—the innate capacity for empathy atrophies. Neurologist Dr. Bruce D. Perry has shown that traumatized and neglected children can display lesions affecting up to 30 percent of the brain regions that control emotion. Severe early trauma floods the developing brain with stress hormones that destroy newly formed neurons and their connections.
This is not merely a personal tragedy. It is a public danger.
Why Intelligence Is Not Enough
One of Miller’s most unsettling insights is that intelligence, without emotional freedom, does not protect us from corruption—it simply makes us better at rationalizing it. She writes:
“Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self. Indeed, intelligence is capable of innumerable rationalizations when it comes to the matter of adaptation.”
She cites the example of Martin Heidegger, one of the most brilliant philosophers of the 20th century, who was able to break with traditional philosophy but could not see the contradictions in Hitler’s ideology. His intellectual independence in one domain coexisted with infantile submissiveness in another—because the early pattern of obedience to tyrannical authority had never been consciously faced and resolved.
This is the danger of what Miller called “poisonous pedagogy” —the widespread practice of breaking a child’s will in the name of discipline, creating adults who will, as she puts it, “cooperate with the penal system” and “carry out any form of torture or persecution without having a guilty conscience.”
Creativity Does Not Resolve Trauma
One of the most persistent illusions in our culture is that creative expression is a form of healing. Miller is emphatic on this point:
“It is a great mistake to imagine that one can resolve traumas in a symbolic fashion. If that were possible, poets, painters, and other artists would be able to resolve their pain through creativity. This is not the case, however. Creativity helps us channel the pain of trauma into symbolic acts; it doesn’t help us resolve it.”
She uses dictators as her example: if symbolic revenge worked, they would eventually stop tormenting others. But because they deceive themselves about who their hatred truly belongs to—their own childhood perpetrators—they remain trapped in an insatiable hunger for revenge, endlessly acting it out on a global stage.
Seeing Clearly Requires Courage, Not Just Intelligence
This is why judging people by their character—by their emotional honesty, their capacity for self-reflection, their willingness to face painful truths—matters more than judging them by their credentials, their talents, or their public personas.
As I wrote in a blog post years ago, responding to the wave of revelations about men like Bill Cosby who hid behind fame and talent:
“Having special talents is wonderful and it’s okay to cash in your talents for a living, but when people hide behind their talents, fame and money to hide their own personal truth and keep themselves and others distracted from the truth and facts then you are misusing your talents and contributing for the lies to spread and silently or covertly you are part of all the violence and atrocities we are witnessing in our world.”
Miller once wrote to a reader who had survived horrific childhood abuse with her clarity and courage intact, expressing gratitude that “the lively, brave and bright little girl” had “remained sound to keep the full clarity and the unusual courage in order TO SEE and TO ACCUSE, without ‘buts,’ without illusions, without self-betrayal.”
That is the hallmark of genuine character: the refusal of “buts.” The refusal to excuse cruelty because the perpetrator is charismatic, or talented, or on “my side.” The refusal to look away.
The Price of Emotional Blindness
We are living through a time when the price of emotional blindness has become impossible to ignore. Sexism and racism, as I noted in my original comment, are not merely personal prejudices—they are the predictable outcomes of unresolved childhood repression, acted out on a collective scale. When a nation elevates a man devoid of empathy to its highest office, it is not a failure of education. It is a failure of emotional development, magnified millions of times over.
Miller’s insight is both sobering and, in its own way, hopeful: “The unconscious compulsion to revenge repressed injuries is more powerful than reason. That is the lesson that all tyrants teach us. One should not expect judiciousness from a mad person motivated by compulsive panic. One should, however, protect oneself from such a person.”
Protecting ourselves—and future generations—requires more than policy debates or intellectual arguments. It requires the courage to look at childhood honestly: our own, and the childhoods of those who now hold power. It requires recognizing that a person who cannot feel their own pain will inevitably inflict it on others. And it requires building a world where children are no longer broken in the name of obedience—because the character that results is the character that destroys us all.
Character matters. It always has. It always will.
Just like I wrote in my book A Dance to Freedom, pages 75, 76, and 173, “The extremes to which people go to avoid facing the pain of their own truth — even though such a confrontation would set them free — will never cease to amaze me. “To many people,” Alice Miller says, “it seems easier to take medication, to smoke, drink alcohol..., preach, educate or treat others, and prepare wars than expose themselves to their own painful truth. …Society is on the side of the status quo, so be prepared. As Alice Miller writes in Free from Lies, going against the parents “is a source of major alarm for others …They will sometimes mobilize all the forces at their command to discredit the former victim and thus keep their own repression intact.”
This is why I keep getting targeted by dangerously repressed people after I published my book. My book is a mirror to the abusers and the enablers, and they don't like their own reflections, so they mobilize all their forces at their command to destroy me and discredit me; they would rather see me dead, in jail, or in a mental hospital than face their own repression, lies, and illusions.
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