"Physical violence can be testified to be outside evidence: eyewitness, police and medical reports. With emotional abuse, there is no proof. It's a clean violence. Nobody sees anything.
The Victim is Cornered
Yes, I had my soul stalked for over six months at my last job by pure evil people. The words below articulate exactly what happened to me!
"The very definition of emotional abuse is challenged by some who prefer to use the catch-all term of psychopathy."
""Whether the subject is serial killing or emotional abusiveness, the matter remains one of predatory behavior: an act consisting in the appropriation of another person's life."
-Dr. Marie-France Hirigoyen from "Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and the Erosion of Identity"
Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and The Erosion of Identity
"Yet, really? No victims? In relationships that serve only one party? That is the popular wisdom and the frequent conclusion of many psychologies. Therapists are trained to remain neutral even when obvious emotional abuses are played out in front of them. Infidelities and narcissistic emotional abuses are not considered serious enough to warrant speaking out in favor of the victim. Then, there is the truth that we as a culture hold the victim to blame for whatever occurred to attempt to make sense of, to impose rationale onto a world that often does not make a lot of sense. Well, dispense with such New Age ideas that absolve all relational wrongs such as: “there are no guilty parties, only accomplices in the outcome.” What if it is just plain wrong to abuse the trust of another, especially someone in an intimate relationship? What if deception—of any sort—is abusive? What if using another person for one's own gains—even if that using is unconscious—is wrong? Just plain wrong. Wrong as in: not condoned, no neutrality accepted in the face of abuses and deceptions. This book calls for an end to therapeutic neutrality and directs therapists to cease listening dispassionately and to actively speak up and even to intervene when abuse is observed. What if a morality of protecting the less powerful person in relationships is developing? This book calls for an end of therapeutic dispassion and a return of empathy and kindness, a sort of patient championing, yes—taking sides. What if there really are perpetrators in relationships? And what if those perpetrators have real victims, sometimes many victims? Now, that would be an entirely new way of exploring relationships."
"Stalking the Soul" will illuminate emotional abuse in a way that will shake you to the core. Marie-France Hirigoyen has insight that is usually reserved for those who have walked the path. I was impressed with the depth of her knowledge of narcissism and the insidious and covert nature of the disorder. Emotional abuse is a double-edged sword because it is so hard to prove. You'll go crazy just trying. The abuser is careful to reveal himself only to his victim while showing his false self, the one that hooked you, to everyone else. Manipulation is second nature to the emotional abuser, allowing him to slowly and methodically erode your sense of self and to murder your soul. The latter being their goal. You have become their prey, some'thing' to conquer. I immensely appreciated and respected Marie-France Hirigoyen careful avoidance and rejection of blaming the victim. She shows in compassionate detail how it is your very strengths and talents that make you perfect prey to a narcissist, not your weakness, as so many other books on the subject will have you believe. Blaming the victim is just another layer of abuse and this author discredits that theory with a few strokes of her mighty pen. She appears to have an intimate understanding of the inner workings of a mental abuser and her knowledge flows freely from the pages directly to you. Where it is the abuser's goal to destabilize, Marie-France Hirigoyen is the friend who lovingly shakes
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Tina Jensen Friis: Very interesting read about abusers and their ways, - how it will always be the victims fault and making the victim look like "the abuser", even a mental case to others, - a pointless battle where you ultimately must learn that people can think what they want - escaping and surviving the abuse is all that matters!
"The ideal outcome for the abuser is to succeed in making the other “evil,” which transforms the evil into something more normal because it is now shared. He wants to inject the other with what is bad in him. To corrupt is the ultimate goal."
"The abuser is careful to reveal himself only to his victim while showing his false self, the one that hooked you, to everyone else. Manipulation is second nature to the emotional abuser, allowing him to slowly and methodically erode your sense of self and to murder your soul."
The pain will always remain inside....
Sylvie Imelda Shene Thank you, Tina. Yes the abuser’s goal is to succeed in making the real victim appear to be the “evil” one and therefore deserving what was coming to her. I lost my job, but she [the property manager at my last job] did not succeed in transferring her evil into me. The quote below describes beautifully what she was trying to do, she wanted to kill my soul and walk away wearing my skin.
I shared more about my experiences and quotes in this link.
Also read my blog post Experienced Knowledge