This blog is about learning to understand all of our feelings and learning to consciously face, feel and experience all of our feelings within the context of our own childhood.
Everything we become and happens to us is connected to childhood. Not every victim becomes an abuser, but every abuser was once a victim of abuse and no matter what anyone says these are facts. Violence is not genetic, it’s learned.
Friday, February 6, 2015
Silencing and Suppressing others to Manage Repressed Fears
Yesterday G asked me how I was doing and how the board was treating me and I told her that I have been told by X Board and S not to discuss anything with anyone and she told me: every time you are in a situation where people tell you not to talk, it means they fear you! And I said: totally I triggered their fears! In a way, X Board and the Security Company are reenacting their childhood drama and reminding me of mine, but the difference now is that I see clearly what’s going on and I am not as defenseless I once was. Just like I wrote on my book page 59: “It only occurred to me after reading Alice Miller that my family was also scared of me. I was a threat to them because I came close to shattering their own illusions. The only choice they had was to try and control me so they could avoid their own pain — the pain they feared the most.”Now again I am too close to shattering X Board and S’ illusions and I triggered their fears, so now to manage their repressed fears are trying to silence and control me by throwing a bunch sand or bullshit at me to blind me, but I can see so clearly that I just smile at it.
It also occurred to me the Security Company was also happy to get rid of me, just like M B, they too saw that I don't any longer have the X board support like I once did, so they thought they would join M B in his plotting and put a new person in charge paying her/him much less and save $5 or $6 an hour, so they can keep more money for themselves.
Thank you for your help and for being my friend.
Looking forward to seeing you soon,
Sylvie If you like to read more about my experience with a mob of sociopaths also read my blog post Experienced Knowledge