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Talking on the phone with an ex-resident from S, he asked me what I thought might have happened to PP to make her want to destroy me like she did. And I said: I am not sure, because the 9 and a half years we worked together, and the subject of childhood would come up, she could never talk about it, it was a big taboo for her, and if I kept talking about childhood, she would get very uncomfortable and leave. I am very aware that people who can’t talk about childhood can’t be trusted because there is a big chance their repression can be triggered, and they will try to make you their scapegoat.
And no doubt my book triggered her own repression, and instead of taking responsibility for it, she would rather destroy me and kill my soul like her childhood abusers killed her own soul when she was a defenseless little child, so she can keep the idealization of her parents, childhood, and repression intact.
And then, while talking on the phone with my friend, the image of her father entered my mind.
I met her father a few times, he had a lady that lived with him in the same assisted living retirement home, where he lived, that used to live in Brazil and spoke Portuguese, so because I am Portuguese, they invited me to have lunch with them, her father kind of fell in love with me, and he wanted me to meet them for lunch on the weekends often, he was a very charming man that I could tell had perverted sexuality and poor sexual boundaries because when saying goodbye to me after having lunch, he would give me a hug and he made sure he could feel my breasts a little bit. I didn't think much of it at the time, but now, I have no doubt in my mind that she was sexually molested by her father when she was a child. And now I had to pay and suffer for what her father did to her when she was a defenseless little child.
My response below to Elza’s comment on a Facebook post comes to mind:
Elza, labeling people as inferior and comparing them to animals might make you feel better about yourself temporarily and superficially, but it does nothing to help stop these atrocities, and it is actually a cover-up for the real causes and perpetuates the vicious circle to continue endlessly. Yes, they lack feelings, but only because their true authentic feelings were suppressed in childhood and yes, they are cowards only because they are too afraid to look in their past and see their parents or childhood caregivers as they really were and to keep the idealization of their parents and childhood intact, they endless unconsciously and compulsively reenact their childhood traumas in the present moment making others suffer for the wrongs done to them when they were defenseless little children. You never want to talk about the past, and I am sure Dr. Julio Machado Vaz doesn’t like to look back on it either, but ignoring our childhood truth keeps us stuck in the past without realizing it, and makes us act destructively even though we don’t want to. People abusing others has nothing to do with character but with the fact that they themselves were mistreated in childhood without being able to defend themselves. I explain these psychological mechanisms clearly in my book, A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions.
Also read Experienced Knowledge
Comments on this post from Facebook
Monica Chelagat A brief reflection on this post, comparing with my own personal experience, which is very different in the cause behind. In the previous related post, you mentioned a person who was interested in your [job], which, in my understanding, is not PP. If so, PP was an instrumental, sick opportunist, but not the cause. The mobbing I went through was Institutional but at the formal managerial level. Each character that joined in the lynch either was incited with lies or was a sociopath who capitalized on the blackmail against me and inevitably feels threatened by my defense reactions. It is complicated. It is important to understand why and who started; once that is clear, you can address it both externally and within yourself. I have done work and feel better overall. Addressing it is the best 'therapy'.
Sylvie Imelda Shene PP, and another resident at the community where I worked, started the plotting and MB, a new guy who was taking the place of a guy who died of heart failure. He wanted my job and saw me vulnerable, so he joined in the plotting to steal it. When I thought I had a battle won, another sociopath would take over and continue the emotional harassment that the first sociopaths started. I was being attacked by sociopaths from every angle. They wanted to kill my soul to keep their own repression intact, and some just for their own personal gain.
Read my blog post, Stalking the Soul
Comments on this post from Facebook
Monica Chelagat A brief reflection on this post, comparing with my own personal experience, which is very different in the cause behind. In the previous related post, you mentioned a person who was interested in your [job], which, in my understanding, is not PP. If so, PP was an instrumental, sick opportunist, but not the cause. The mobbing I went through was Institutional but at the formal managerial level. Each character that joined in the lynch either was incited with lies or was a sociopath who capitalized on the blackmail against me and inevitably feels threatened by my defense reactions. It is complicated. It is important to understand why and who started; once that is clear, you can address it both externally and within yourself. I have done work and feel better overall. Addressing it is the best 'therapy'.
Sylvie Imelda Shene PP, and another resident at the community where I worked, started the plotting and MB, a new guy who was taking the place of a guy who died of heart failure. He wanted my job and saw me vulnerable, so he joined in the plotting to steal it. When I thought I had a battle won, another sociopath would take over and continue the emotional harassment that the first sociopaths started. I was being attacked by sociopaths from every angle. They wanted to kill my soul to keep their own repression intact, and some just for their own personal gain.
Read my blog post, Stalking the Soul
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