“The grandiose person is never really free; first because he is excessively dependent on admiration from others, and second, because his self-respect is dependent on qualities, functions, and achievements that can suddenly fail.” ― The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self
COVERT NARCISSISTS
are very difficult to recognize and even more difficult to expose. They appear wounded and gentle, even vulnerable and humble. They portray themselves as dedicated to a path of "enlightenment." but don't practise what they preach. They reel you in by appealing to your sense of empathy. The lack of overt arrogance will derail your fears and suspicions. they epitomize; a wolf in sheep's clothing. Beware.
- Author Unknown
lies, lies, lies If you catch them in a lie, they'll cover that lie with another one. If you confront their behavior, they'll lie to deflect negative attention. When they're setting you up for a fall, they'll lie to anyone who'll listen, detailing your "crazy" behavior.
Lies are their base line normal and no relationship can thrive under these conditions.
THE NARCISSIST IS MAD BECAUSE THEY CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW YOU ARE STILL GOING ON WITH YOUR LIFE AFTER THEY LIED AND BUILT A WHOLE TEAM TO GO AGAINST YOU
"We are all prisoners of our childhood, whether we know it, suspect it, deny it, or have never even heard about the possibility. The realization that we can free ourselves from the consequences of old wounds will gain ground as more people prove it can be done. Inevitably, resistance to following this path is great, as we all fear our repressed past and the experience of how helpless we once were. We have had good reason to be afraid; if we did not, there would have been no need for repression. Yet the more we encounter our fear and dare to see its causes, the more it decreases." Read more here
In my book A Dance to Freedom, I prove it that it can be done! And once you break free from the emotional prison of your childhood, not even a mob of sociopaths, like I had at my job of nine and half years, can trap you and take you back to the emotional prison of your childhood.
Very true: "Therapy brings permanent benefits only when the truth about the past is made accessible and remains accessible for the rest of our lives. Only if we remain open to our constantly evolving feelings - today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow - and have the tools to understand them can we claim health, clarity, and independence for ourselves. Claim them, and maintain them. Only thus can we keep our feet on firm ground, and not be dependent on drugs, gurus, groups, or theories that teach us how to change our past. " Read more here
No one so far has come close to getting it this deep like Alice Miller has: "5. It is a great mistake to imagine that one can resolve traumas in a symbolic fashion. If that were possible, poets, painters, and other artists would be able to resolve their pain through creativity. This is not the case, however. Creativity helps us channel the pain of trauma into symbolic acts; it doesn't help us resolve it. If symbolic revenge for maltreatment received in childhood were effective, then dictators would eventually stop humiliating and torturing their fellow human beings. As long as they choose to deceive themselves about who really deserves their hatred, however, and as long as they go on feeding that hatred in symbolic form instead of experiencing and resolving it within the context of their own childhood, their hunger for revenge will remain insatiable (see Miller 1990a)." Read more here
“A child cannot be raised to be loving---neither by being beaten nor by well-meaning words; no reprimands, sermons, explanations, good examples, threats, or prohibitions can make a child capable of love. A child who is preached to learns only to preach and a child who is beaten learns to beat others. A person can be raised to be a good citizen, a brave soldier, a devout Jew, Catholic, Protestant, or atheist, even to be a devout psychoanalyst, but not to be a vital and free human being. And only vitality and freedom, not the compulsions of child-rearing, open the wellspring of a genuine capacity to love.” -
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